How pleasing it is to be able to start the pond's Sunday meditation with the usual serve of prattling Polonius, offering a quiet spot so we can all shelter behind the arras ... (for the avoidance of doubt, the pond isn't referring to that prefecture but to a wall hanging of the finest tapestry fabric to be found in the Sydney Institute, as used to conceal an alcove) ...
Today as befits a holyday, Polonius proffers the world a miracle, a rapture, a speaking in tongues, an uplifting of the spirits ...
Of course what Polonius modestly means when referring to "many informed commentators" is himself, as informed a commentator as any doing the rounds, and without a shred of bias ... but with a deep sense of history and the significance of B. A. Santamaria (he wrote a book about him after all), though perhaps today we should settle for Billy Hughes ...
Good old Billy ... he was up there when it came to handling issues ...
And he knew how to leave the ship in style ...
But the pond can sense some people wondering ... sure, there's been the usual wandering down ancient laneways, but where's the standard berating of the left wing media and the dastardly ABC?
Oh ye of little faith, how impatient and wrong you are ...
Polonius was just saving his best for last, and how his list of perfidious infidels grows longer by the day...
See if you can spot SloMo or perhaps Polonius himself, besieged by dangerous lefty mejiah ...
Sorry, sorry, the pond must move on quickly because Dame Slap has also been out and about this weekend, and she's on a roll and so attention must be paid ...
Good old Dame Slap, but here the pond should warn that proceedings before the court or at least the appearance on Planet Janet in the land above the faraway tree will be a lengthy one ... though in the end, the good news is that SloMo will be tried, found wanting and sentenced to a good public hanging by Dame Slap, without need of pesky, difficult judge or jury ...
The pond only included that video snap of those two difficult women because of the tag, "there was 'unbridled hate' for Scott Morrison at National Press Club", which for some strange reason produced a fit of chortling in the pond.
Hadn't the unbridled hate come by way of text message from colleagues much earlier in the week? And hadn't it been festering for yonks, because even Barners can hold a thought bubble of hate for a tad longer than a week ...
Besides, the pond has always wondered what 'bridled hate' would look like ... but never mind, do go on, because Dame Slap is in unbridled HR hate mode ...
Indeed, indeed, how much better if Dame Slaps were in charge of HR, and a damn good slapping would send recalcitrants away with a thick ear ...
Here, the pond must pause to note just how obsessed the reptiles are with those two difficult women because the next gobbet begins with yet another snap of them ... quite undercutting the Slappian message to follow ...
Ah yes, the puritanical standards of inner-city liberals. You know the sort, the bloody riff raff, the wogs, the poofters, all getting soft and wet around the ears, when all they've had is a damn good slapping, or perhaps a really funny joke ... you know, like comparing them to the Taliban, or the Stasi,. or perhaps the gazpacho police, and is there a toilet somewhere handy so the pond can flush the incriminating documents, or must the pond be made to eat them without even the benefit of a mustard dressing?
And so to the final, thankfully short slapping ... because frankly Dame Slap is starting to sound a tad unhinged and hysterical in the usual Slappian way, and might be dibbed in to the lizard Oz HR department, already under stress from the reptiles' constant war on the real world ...
Indeed, indeed, the best way forward and the way to fix everything is to abolish anyone actually employed to pay attention to what might constitute a safer, more accountable workplace culture.
The pond doesn't quite know what to suggest, except that perhaps parliament should hire Dame Slap and give her the run of HR, and then really see how the shit can hit the fan with a damn good slapping ...
And so to a bonus, just because it's there and it's Sunday and what the heck if the pond runs over-length with a bubble-headed booby ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, the pond did expect comedy, but didn't expect comedy of this high order. The pond feels justified in running over time, and has an infallible Pope saved at the end for those who think they've endured too much suffering.
The pond should also note that the reptiles must have thought that the lightweight bubble-headed booby needed a little visual relief, because they lavished two - that's right two - snaps on her column ... featuring a man with a bald spot, and a yearning for the good old days ...
By golly that kept the actual verbiage wordage count down, and the reptiles could stroll down memory lane to the good old days when a manly man ruled the country... and lo, for some strange reason, the blathering bimbo seems to watch the The Drum, and can fling about 'elitist' with the best of the reptiles ... apparently blithely unaware that the truly horrible, horrible man set that ball of wax rolling ...
Eek, no wonder the blathering bimbo was agitated.
No wonder gear-loose Gemma was yearning for those the reptile salad days ... but now all is dust and ashes, and the woolly headed wombat is in tears ...
Ah, yes, the woke ... and no doubt Gemma herself was pounding on her keyboard while sheltering in a bark hut before getting up at 4 am to work in mine, but not before indulging in a lavish feast of tar washed down by week old milk, because the damned ice box had gone on the blink again ...
As for that resounding "be worthy of us", the pond realised that the country was fucked and the planet doomed, and best now trot out that infallible Pope ...
Now here we go with Polonius: "...the ABC, Guardian Australia, Network Ten's The Project, The Saturday Paper, The New Daily - plus the Twitter mob and, to a lesser extent, Nine's The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald." Or in short, just about the entire larger non-Murdoch press in Australia - except maybe Independent Australia. Whaddya reckon, has Polonius got that list assigned to a macro key to save typing ?
ReplyDeleteThen there's also Laura Tingle and ABC 7:30 and the National Press Club. No sense, no feeling in a single thing that Polonius includes in his rants, but when has that ever stopped a reptile ? At least it isn't quite as bad as the Doggy Bov's totally repetitive découpé essay(s), I suppose. At least it's shorter and quicker to read.
Well, Slappy is on ... and on and on ... about how nothing has ever happened until it's been proved in a 'Court of Law'. Which, since very few things are ever tried in a 'Court of Law' means that nothing ever happens at all. So when Slappy says "...Morrison chose a politically cynical [position] by siding with Higgins so comprehensively that the accused's right to a fair trial is now in question." she's referring to something that, not having been proved in a Court of Law, clearly never happened.
ReplyDeleteSo, on to the Too-ninny: "As a voter, as an employer, a business owner of two decades standing, and an often-resentful taxpayer ..." Well, that's the signature of a real "high achiever" - she must have an IQ of at least 90. don't you reckon ?
And talking of an IQ of 90, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. I've been referring to about 24% of the human race having an IQ less than 70 whereas in actuality, it's less than 90. Which is plus ungood but not quite so double-plus ungood as less than 70. Alfred Binet would disown me (though Lewis Terman might be more forgiving).
Any'ow, she then said: "When I'm paying my mortgage ..." - que ? A business owner and employer of two decades: that's 20 years and she's still paying her mortgage ? Business can't have been real good, even before Covid, then.
But I do have to endorse this: "...let me say to my party, find a fresh voice. Work out what you stand for. Find a spine. Write the vision, make it plain so that those of us watching can run with it too."
Now if only Bill Shorten had listened to that advice back in 2019, he'd be PM now.
GB - yes, I had wondered what Ms Ton-yee-nee's actual business was, so put the name (with the funny Italian spelling, of course!) into the 'search engine of my choice'. It seems that a steady part of it is being paid speaker at conventions and corporate rah rah gatherings. The testimonials all seem to refer to a standard talk about how she has had to do it hard, triumph through adversity to get to - stand at the rostrum. Effectively she has commercialised the identity politics of - one person.
ReplyDeleteHaving encountered her as a commentator on 'Sky News' sometimes, when I am looking for a laugh, I must say she is pretty dull going on those occasions, but, to be fair, so little of what goes on Sky has any structure, theme, or script, that it would be an extra challenge to try to be inspiring. One wonders if she comes free - as a way of boosting her appeal for the corporate rah rahs, or if she pockets a coupla clams for each appearance.
Oh, then she's in the 3rd rate stand-up-comedienne business, then.
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