In which the pond sees the natural born liar cop a Dame Slapping, and then even worse, a pompous, portentous "Nedding" ...

 

 

Last night the pond spent an enjoyable couple of hours in the mango Mussolini's America, thanks to the indie flick Red Rocket, in which everything is a hustle, a grift and a con. 

Who'd have thought that a couple of gigs in the Scary movie franchise would have led Simon Rex to his star turn as aging "adult movie" star Mikey Sabre, who moves back to Texas City and shacks up with his ex and her shriveled mum in a hovel? (Bree Elrod doing fine as Lexi and Brenda Deiss as Lil showing you don't have to be an actor to act).

The pond once passed through the area on the way to New Orleans and thought it a blot on the landscape, but thanks to writer/director Sean Baker, the pond appreciates that there's an alien beauty in ugliness of an industrial kind.

Of course Mikey meets up with the dangerous Strawberry (Suzanne Son, with a future), an almost eighteen ginger dishing out donuts and sex at a Hopperish donut shop, and there's a neighbour into stolen valour and a massive 22 car pile up, and at the end all that's left is a hustle, and a grift and a con and a delusional dream ... and Baker had trouble killing some of his babies, so the pace is leisurely and the movie a good twenty minutes too long, but the mango Mussolini, about to triumph in his election campaign in the movie, also rambles on endlessly, so what the heck.

What's that you say? The pond has had its taste of freedumb, and must attend to the reptiles? 

But the pond learned things last night, like shit on a shingle is an American thing...

Okay, okay, the pond's call to arms is Dame Slap making minced meat of SloMo ... so here we go ...

 

Amazing really, but for all the wrong reasons.

The pond noted yesterday this blithe ability to decide that trans folk were simply an inconvenience... a "complication" ...

 

Reality tends to be complicated, and the pond thinks of the experience of a trans friend who went through the "complication" of a Catholic upbringing, and somehow managed to survive being served Catholic shit on a shingle ...

And the pond hopes everyone is avidly reading  David Hardaker in Crikey... it's unlocked, or was at time of writing, so this is just a teaser ...

 

 

What a fuckwit and a scandal this happy clapper is ... and now back to Dame Slap, getting it right in all the usual wrong Dame Slap ways ...

 

Okay, okay, the pond will bank that one, though in a way Dame Slap is seriously defaming Hallmark cards and former Chairman Rudd ...

On with the next gobbet of heresy ... and here Dame Slap herself falters as she realises the depths of her depravity, the loneliness the heretic must experience trudging in the wilderness, with only jolly Josh or the mutton Dutton available as her redeemers ...

 

Sheesh, both the Bolter and Dame Slap calling SloMo weird and creepy? 

It's almost too much shit on a shingle for the pond to bear, but the pond decided to leave in the final click bait video because as a capped still, it makes for excellent viewing ...

Couldn't fight his way out of paper bag isn't the best put down the pond has heard delivered by a politician over the years, but it'll do, Dame Slap, it'll do ... as the natural born liar cops it from his own and from assorted stray reptiles ...

And now to the usual survey of what else is what in reptile la la land ...

A couple of lizard Oz editorials - well at least they can keep up the war with Iran - and the Swiss bank account man blathering away, joined for company by Dame Groan and the bouffant one, dishing it out in the usual reptile way on Albo and Labor? Dame Groan gave up groaning about pesky, tricky furriners for a nanosecond?

Sorry, it's just the gigging for the reptiles Dame Groan celebrating the joys of a gigging economy, so the pond will pass ...

Besides, the pond is always interested in more refined and exquisite torture, and guess who was top of the reptile digital edition early this morning?

 

Nattering "Ned" himself, and SloMo in a classic pose, calling the faithful to prayer so that they might speak to their imaginary friend in tongues about "complications" ... the very same calling on the lord for a come to SloMo image to be found in the tree killer edition ...

 

 

Oh and look, the reptiles are still taking Clive's cash in the claw ...

Now to that exquisite torture ... five chunky gobbets of shit on a "Ned" shingle goodness ...

 

Now the pond appreciates that some might already be shrieking enough already, and wonder how the pond ended up with "Ned", rather than say that News Corp refugee Malcolm Farr, scribbling in the Graudian about Macron and rats inside the house talking about liars...

 

No, no, the pond will have none of that. 

What the pond goes for is a pompous, portentous, solemn, totally humourless style, lacking in irony or wit or self-awareness, but blessed with a grandiose sense of measured, distilled self-importance ...

 

Around this pont, some might note that "Ned's" piece begins to fill up with snaps of jolly Josh and that horrible, horrible man, that hypocrite and liar ...

Please allow the pond to offer a little alternative visual entertainment to help in the digestion of "Ned's" offering ...

 

There's nothing like an infallible Pope to soothe the pond's jangled nerves, but now the next few gobbets must be done in 'harden the fuck up' manner until the pond reaches an immortal Rowe ...

 

You see? Another snap of jolly Josh and the liar in deep and meaningful consultation. What's the bet a snap of the two will grace the next gobbet?

Is this some kind of hidden signal moment? A sense that Brutus is having a chat with Caesar before the knife goes in?

 

Yes, that's a tap, if not on the shoulder, then at least on the back, and so the pond has reached the final gobbet, and happily, it's a very short one for a "Ned" in full pompous, portentous flight...

What a useless gherkin, but the pond can see at some point in the future, some politician standing up in parliament to apologise for the harm done to minorities in this country if this government gets its way ... in the same way that the natural born liar was out and about apologising to women ... with all the conviction of an angry Sydney Anglican wondering why complimentary women were getting agitated when they were just a free religious bonus in the complimentary manner ...

Never mind, here's to the immortal Rowe, celebrating the natural born liar in that special moment...