The pond sometimes wonders how the reptiles' business plan works.
Ever since the pond gave up its freedumb and returned to the reptile fold, there has been a complete lack of interest in the reptiles. Hits are down and just one reader bothers to offer comments ...
Perhaps it's because the best stories lie elsewhere ... what with Labor naming names and SloMo making a fool of himself yet again by blathering on about acts of grace, not to mention defiant heretics and their unseemly heresies splashed across the page ...
But the pond abandoned the Nine rags long ago ...
Come on reptiles, lift your game ... even the best comedy lies elsewhere ...
Yes a plucky band of aged Kiwi origin saw the chance to step back into the limelight ...
In the clip, Mr Morrison repeats one line twice ("Take me to the April sun in Cuba, oh oh oh"), rather than progress the song along with the original lyrics.
Well the pond doesn't have to repeat the original lyrics ... but what about the pitch?
Say what, it's September 13th 2022, and we're talking major politics and it was a "dipomatic fracas"?
Castro in the alley way
Talkin' 'bout missile love
Talkin' 'bout J.F.K
And the way he shook him up
Say what you will, but 'fracas' hardly seems to suit the occasion ...
Whatever. Fact is, everyone loves a PM desperately doing a Tiny Tim with the uke ...
Truth to tell, up against the reptiles, the pond has more fun strolling around the neighbourhood, spotting bin chickens far from home, and hapless chooks on bins ...
What the hell can the pond do with this sort of line up to restore its online fortunes?
And the front page was no better, with cash in the reptile claw Clive suddenly doing a disappearing act ... it's been a couple of days now, and Clive's no longer to be seen splashing the cash at the bottom of the tree killer edition ... and there goes the business model ...
The pond supposes it was good that the reptiles could, with a straight face, and without use of inverted commas, still keep using the word "hero" as in "Hero's ex-wife" ... and there was a bit of bashing of criminal furriners, and the pond had a dim memory that this used to be Dame Groan's day, when she routinely bashed furriners of the pesky, difficult kind ...
Maybe she'll be featured later in the day, but in the meantime, that's how the pond ended up with the ancient Troy, a town the pond rarely visits ...
But where's the comedy?
There ought to be comedy, the more grotesque the better. Send in the comedy ... or at least a truly stupid tone-deaf man ...
Buns, as a Kiwi might say? The pond has just the right bun, and it's just up the road ...
And now, after that sin bunning, with no forgiveness in sight, it's back to ancient, lost Troy ...
But ancient Troy, where's the comedy? Everyone wants more of that tone deaf loon doing a Tiny Tim with the uke ...
Never mind, a last gobbet from Troy, diligently ruining the pond's ratings...
And so to another story, this one in the bromancer's absence ...
Sheesh, Ben, that's going to send the bromancer right off ... what with the nuke subs due long after he'll be around at the lizard Oz to deploy them, and with just a bunch of useless tanks, and what's the point of offering a video of useless jets in action? Of course the pond had to neuter it ...
Then it's on with a final gobbet of bromancer despair ...
Oh dear sweet long absent lord, the pond is standing by for a bromancer missive ...
And now the prevarication must end ...
You see at the top of the digital page of the lizard Oz this morning came this ironic juxtaposition ...
A war "hero" cruelly forced to wear a mask, and there over on the far right, Killer blathering on about masks yet again ...
The pond is so over Killer and his masks routine, and does wonder why the lizard Oz editor indulges in this shit, because on the evidence the pond has, nobody gives a flying fuck about it, and the mere mention of Killer is enough to send the few remaining pond readers scuttling into the twilight zone.
But it's the pond's duty, and so the pond must go there ...
What the fuck? What is it with Killer and masks and the 1918 Spanish flu and all that jazz?
The pond long ago gave up trying to work it out, and its cries for a Freudian to turn up and solve the problem went unanswered ... and so here we are ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, this is deeply weird shit, almost as weird as this sort of shit ...
The pond realises the first thing that Killer is going to demand - should he ever turn up in an operating theatre - is that the wretched, stupid surgeons take off their stupid masks because they ruin non-verbal communication, their speech will be muffled, glasses will fog up, they won't be able to socialise properly with the nurses, and a divisive atmosphere of fear will prevail in the operating theatre ...
The pond has heard all this shit an endless number of times before. The real question is why the lizard Oz editorial team pander to Killer and provide him with click bait videos, which the pond must render inert ...
It's a deeply weird walk on the wild side, with Clive and Pauline and Ruski Broadbent and the Kelly gang and Q and all those loons assembled in Canberra or in truck convoys in other lands - the pond would have impounded the trucks on the first day, but that's just the pond ...
Presumably the reptiles see it as a form of legitimate political discourse ...
Sorry, the pond just wanted to throw in a reference to The Conversation, to remind stray readers that there's more to life than fuckwitted Killers ...
The pond realises its mission is to prove that the reptiles aren't just batshit crazy, but boringly batshit crazy as well, but Killer screeds make it too easy ...
On and on he rambles, down weird Killer paths ...
Did the Killer just mention WHO? Does the Killer think the entire world is as incapable of googling as he is?
And so on and on.
That's straight from the WHO horse's mouth, as googled ... and yet the reptiles encourage Killer to rabbit on and this time out, even gave him another click bait video featuring loons of a Killer feather kind ...
The good news is that the pond, having done its Killer duty, has reached the last gobbet of undiluted futtockry ... including the obligatory reference to "authoritarian health experts" ...
Such a deeply weird man, so strange, and paranoid and fearful and desolate that the pond urgently needs to end on an upnote and what better way than to get out the uke with Rowe, with more Rowe to sing along to here ...
And that's why the reptiles' business plan is deeply fucked, and the pond with it. Much deadly unconscious humour of the Killer kind, but no other sensa huma to be seen for miles around, and yet each day the poll dancer manages a new trick, a new routine for his superb comedy stylings ...
"Ever since the pond gave up its freedumb and returned to the reptile fold, there has been a complete lack of interest in the reptiles. Hits are down and just one reader bothers to offer comments ..."
ReplyDeleteBut we have been through this before now and then, haven't we DP ? And Bef waded in with a nice observation about the reptiles and Ms Abdel-Magied. And there's 'Lola' to listen to. And the weather's been kinda hot and stultifying ...
Anyway, here's a bit of a beauty from the dead kookaburras (after all those trees have been felled) edition: "Defence admits fighters can't fly". And the subs won't be able to dive either, and HMAS Adelaide has a massive power problem, and all those tanks and armoured transports will just sit around in some military barracks somewhere hoping that the Chinese ... or the Indonesians, or anybody ... will invade some day. And that we have enough fuel to drive them round for at least an hour.
Ooops: "...the nation's new $45bn Hunter-class frigates would be 'substantially' slower, have a shorter range than originally intended, and could be vulnerable to detection by enemy vessels."
DeleteI keep forgetting about them. Does Australia have any warfare equipment that actually works at all ?
The pond does appreciate the comments GB because these days the pond can't be bothered arguing with the reptiles ... still, it is a kind of walk on the wild side, and reptiles will be reptiles, and it's a kind of shook up crazy world, and soon enough the bromancer will be on the case explaining how we must have a war with China and Russia by Easter ...
DeleteIndeed it's a "it's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world" - except for the reptiles, of course, who are constantly unchangeable like a dark, cold planet orbiting a long frozen, dead star.
DeleteBut though interest in reptile reporting waxes and wanes the raver's repertoire does change over time, as witness Dame Slappy's turns with Monckton, then Trump and then, I do believe, ScottyfromMarketing for a short while. But they're all over now, aren't they.
However, I do wonder from time to time what it mist be like to be a psychobabbler listening every day to his 'regulars'. Not altogether unlike dealing with the reptiles, methinks.
Hmmm: Does Australia have any warfare equipment that actually works at all ?
DeleteOh yes, let not the land of WWI and WWII heroes forget that Australia always provides cannon fodder in abundance.
Dear Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteFrom one who came to this site thinking it would be to make one comment, but stayed because of the high quality of the ‘conversations’, and even borrowed an identity (thank you Jersey Mike) - please be assured that I still look to the account of your suffering each day, to help keep perspective on the world.
One of the elements of classic comedy is an element of surprise. So often we laugh because a story has taken an unexpected turn. That is no longer the case with those clinging to the rigging of the flagship.
The thought of the Cater turning his attention to icebergs instead of floodwaters did not induce even a momentary chill, and there is no prospect that he will sustain an interest in icebergs as ones the size of European countries slide off the Antarctic land and mess with our oceans. Oh, perhaps the Bjorn Lom-berg will rediscover the Dick Smith hoax, and dream up graphs to show that these icy chunks will be a wonderfully cost-effective way of cooling Brisbane for the Olympics, but housing developers (?) there will continue to put almost black roofs across each new suburb, marching steadily towards our elevated hide-out.
The interest I shared with The Source had withered before the reptiles returned to their ‘Build the Wall’. Dame Groan is utterly predictable. Tucker Creighton is similarly predictable in the sense that whatever brain snap happens in Carlson’s head this week, will become the ‘extensively researched’ opinion from Washington next week. Carlson is, in fact, mildly amusing, if taken as 15 second clips on Y…tube, but definitely not to be considered as a main course.
Others - Sharri? Ms Ton-yee-nee? - they are not even smile fodder when they appear on that Tube. Oh - Sharri smiling as the Trump said he looked forward to reading her book was worth a couple of replays, but the book is now totally debunked so - no.
Of course, none of this is your fault. We are in the age when the response to useless things, or governments, losing the public support, is for the Great Leader to tell the public that they, Col and Clarissa Citizen, are ‘unworthy’ of the publication, or the decaying government.
But we unworthies will remain pleased to share your observations for as long as you wish to observe.
Well I muchly share that sentiment, Chad. But as a somewhat forgetful oldie who doesn't quite remember how or when he became Loonpond besotted, can I respectfully inquire how you came to know of this wondrous site ?
DeleteAnd you too if you're reading this, JM.
And just to make sure you saw them:
DeleteOk: https://youtu.be/GP0X0CRMZLU
At the 5:00 mark: https://youtu.be/0s9r8PBY4tw
GB - yes, I do appreciate the Joan Baez, and associated, links. To my personal understanding of the Pond - I became aware of it after an attack from 'Catallaxy', around 2015 ish. Thought - if they are so vehement about this 'Loonpond' blog - it must be worth a look.
DeleteI think I started commenting when the Cater had made on of his more egregious restatements of Oz political history, at a time when there was interest around this district in the court proceedings the Wagner family had instituted, primarily against Jones, but roping in his dumb sidekick - Cater.
After a few comments as 'other anony', Jersey Mike remarked that it was difficult to separate the anony mice, so I got to - if not take the mantle of, but stand in the shade of, Edwin Chadwick. To the amusement of My Source. Well, some of our private exchanges on that have had a tinge of sarcasm, but we all value friends who can do that for us.
And, to polish the entries for this day - something from Kez.
Yes, I remember when you took on your nym, with a bit of nudging from JM, but because you started out as an anonymous Anonymous, I couldn't place your initial entry.
DeleteSo DP's mansion got a mention in the now extinct Catallaxy - hucoodanode. Though I do have to wonder how it is that the Pond isn't invaded by the Angst Gang on a regular basis. I suspect DP does some kind of amazing job of keeping the house clean.
Hi DP,
ReplyDeleteI find that every time I place my fingers on the keyboard I am repeating myself, and any questions I ask have the same answer - stupidity! GB will refer to the bell curve and I will think "oh, that's right" - and "how depressing is that"?
The reptiles seem to have emptied what I once thought of as an inexhaustible reservoir of lies and seem to just recycle the same thoroughly debunked dross. Most of this stuff is so comprehensively discredited that informed commentators probably have a function key programmed to fire out a rebuttal at the touch of a finger - but who reads more than the headline.
Just as an example, here's Auke Hoekstra's response to recent Lomborg article (I don't think this was published in OZ)
https://twitter.com/AukeHoekstra/status/1490809317892759554
A well trodden trail but the only ones likely to follow it would not have fallen for the bullshit in the first place.
Anyway, we can only hope that the hive will be turned into uproar should the horrible man loss the next election.
Don't forget that IQ is actually a log-normal distribution, Bef, because try as hard as you might, it's impossible to rate a less than zero IQ. Dunno how high it's possible to get, but I reckon the right-hand 'tail' is kinda truncated too.
DeleteI see that Herr Hoekstra confesses to having liked Bjorn-agin once upon a Wormtongue time. All I can do is repeat Gandalf: "Be silent! Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm!"
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteWell the Killer has an American data analyst in the entertainment industry as his champion for the futility of mask wearing.
All I could come up with as a counterpoint, was a carefully constructed and rigorously conducted study by the California Department of Public Health published in the CDC journal Morbidity and Mortality Weekly.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/johndrake/2022/02/04/the-real-world-effectiveness-of-face-masks-against-covid-19/?sh=6069f12f1d08
DiddyWrote
Statisticians, especially of the lower intelligence "entertainment" kinds, are true believers in "correlation is always causation". So, consider your Forbes expert: "But, it’s probably true that inconsistent or infrequent use just doesn’t provide as much protection."
DeleteNow how does Ian Miller know how often and under what circumstances people wore their masks and how they treated their masks between wearings ? And would the Killer C ever understand that question ?
P.S.
ReplyDeleteJust to avoid any disappointment, the link does not include any amusing charts. Sorry for the lack of rigour.
Hi DP. Scomo is a sitting duck at the moment. All self-inflicted of course. I’d like to think these are the lyrics he was strumming his ukulele to the night before he fled the country back in 2019.
ReplyDeleteI'm tired of this shitty life
Never having fun
People out to get me every day
I just need somewhere to run
So don't try to hold me back
There’s nothing you can say
Hellfire down in paradise
Means I’ve got to go today
Take me to a Tiki bar in Maui (Wo-ho-ho!)
Take me where the Mai Tais are gonna get me
So tight, so tight, alright!
I don’t wanna smell the forests burn
Or see the smoky sky
There’s nothing I can do about it
I might as well just fly
I’ll go on a holiday
And pray to God to send a flood
That washes all the fires away
Then I’ll stay till I’m all tanned up!
Maybe then I’ll go down to Cobargo…
Well, welcome back - you must have been on a very long walkabout, or maybe imprisoned in WA. Nice hatchet on the "I don't hold a hose" man.
DeleteOh Kez, I am kneeling in admiration to that work so much I really fear for teh carpet.
DeleteHow could I explain to the wife?
Truly you are a gift to us all - we are not worthy.
Cheers GB and VC. And thanks VC for your very kind words but I do feel that marital concord is infinitely more important than my flippant ditties.
Delete