It was once the pond's habit to lead off its Sunday meditation with prattling Polonius.
Oh how long ago that seems, and yet, until the reptiles provide the pond with some relief, the nose is back on the grindstone, and excruciating pain is all that's to hand ...
The pond will admit that Polonius can be a hoot ... and there's a huge hoot to be had at the end of this outing ... but first we must wander down memory lane with the ancient coot, as he stoppeth the odd lizard Oz reader, at least one of three, to torture them with times past...
We must forget what Barners said, extreme left wing nut that he is ...
... because Barners is deeply sorry for telling the truth, and with great relief, the reptiles splashed the news over the front page ...
Back to the stout-hearted defence of the liar and hypocrite, because that's what Polonius does ...
Of course, of course, the bloody ABC and now the Graudian ... but we must keep on, because that hoot is coming ...
Did you see it? Suddenly the oscillating fan belongs to the Ten network!
And yet, snakes alive, he's a Major Mitchell protege, and also a proud reptile, a contributing editor no less ...
Poor old Polonius's entry is much less grand ...
Never mind, the pond admits that it considered doing a cut and paste, juxtaposing our Gracie with Polonius, but Polonius was too rich and ripe on his own.
That shunning and shaming of the oscillating fan continued in the last gobbet. Every other reptile had a home, but not the oscillating fan ...
What a funny old bear is Humphrey and Polonius too, and after that, the pond feels like an infallible Pope ...
To avoid misinterpretation, the pond felt like an infallible Pope cartoon, and what a feeling that was, and so it was on with our Gracie, continuing her recovery from all that Kool-aid sipping of previous years ...
Oh dear, she's going to go right off, and get Polonius terribly upset, because he doesn't like this sort of saucy talk, which should be reserved for the Graudian or perhaps the ABC when not in a both siderist mood ...
SloMo understand Victoria, and make a demonstrable effort?
But he's from the Shire, don't ya know, and he speaks in tongues, and it's an ancient and exotic, timeless world ...
Sorry, he's a whitebread sort of dude ...a reader kindly pointed the pond to an Urban Dictionary definition so that the pond might better understand ...
Belonging to the class of bland, clean-cut, middle-of-the-road suburbanite breeders. The Cleavers from the old TV show "Leave It To Beaver" are a familiar archetype of whitebread culture. Compare to yuppie.
The term implies profound cultural naïvete, blind consumerism, and an unquestioning "follower" mindset. Common trappings of the whitebread lifestyle include golf, Kenny G and Enya CDs, SUVs, an irrational fixation onlawn care, Golden Retrievers, nominally Christian religious beliefs, Old Navy clothing, moderate to conservative political views, bad Chardonnay, equally bad espresso, cookie-cutter houses, Bath & Body Works hygiene products, and very white-collar employment.
Though whitebread individuals are usually white, the term is not necessarily racial in meaning - the implication lies more with the blandness, predictability, and banality of plain white bread. Accordingly, "wonderbread" is often used as a synonym.
I'll bet the amount of money that whitebread neighborhood spends on lawnfertilizer could feed a small African nation.
What say you Gracie? Are there local equivalents to discuss and abhor?
What, no mention of thongs?
A liar and a hypocrite doesn't resonate?
But he resonates well enough with Polonius, who seems to like that sort of thing. Perhaps after all, it's a Sydney Institute sort of CBD thing ...
Never mind, a short final gobbet if you please ...
And that left the pond feeling like an immortal Rowe ...
For clarity, the pond meant it felt like an immortal Rowe cartoon, and can get more of that feeling here ...
And so to a bonus.
Back in the old days, the pond never bothered with the oscillating fan, but he's been basking in his psycho fame of late, and besides Polonius seems a little confused about having him as a stablemate, but look, there they are together (and with our Gracie too) in the comments section ...
Even worse, the oscillating fan was later given a bigger splash, up there next to Dame Slap, as usual giving shameless hussies a slapping for leading good, decent, honest men astray, because men never think with their cocks, no, never ... (another time, perhaps, Dame Slap, when you can tell us all what it's like to endure a Krogering) ...
Never mind, the pond is sure that Polonius will be astonished to discover that he and the oscillating fan are bedfellows, and will be more than enough irritated by the leftist claptrap that seems to have crossed over from Ten, and got past the reptile paywall designed to prevent the real world from intruding ...
Indeed, indeed, but surely there should be some idle boasting about the scoop ...
What no mention of the scoop? Perhaps in the final gobbet, after the pond has recovered from its fainting fit at all this infamous talk about a liar, a hypocrite and a horrible, horrible person being in trouble.
Dear sweet long absent lord, who let this loon in to sit alongside Polonius and spout these heretical thoughts?
Good old Malware, and that joke brought to you by Malware's NBN ... if it didn't drop out ... and as for that complete psycho, luckily there's a Wilcox handy to wrap up the bonus celebrating brother Stuie ...
Ah, if we have to have reptiles, at least we've got Gracie: "He [SloMo] may wish to address and rebut the perception of him as PM for NSW and speak directly to Victorians, about issues that interest them."
ReplyDeleteWell I dunno, for this Victorian the issues that most interest me are the number of those who think that SloMo is "horrible", a "hypocrite" etc etc because that's exactly what I think too.
Anyway, perhaps a little notice should be taken of how close Melbourne is to overtaking Sydney:
"Sydney’s high cost of living is leading a renaissance of the Victorian capital, narrowing the population gap to 200,000 people – the closest since 1930"
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/apr/04/melbourne-is-getting-closer-to-overtaking-sydney-in-population-what-does-it-mean-for-both-cities
How soon before SloMo has to become the PM for Vic ?
We should note Polonius's great self-control. He must be aware of your good work, DP, but never upbraids you with 'the evidence shows...'.
ReplyDeleteI will give him a small poke by pointing out that commercial TV is funded by the Australian shoppers, who pay extra to fund the ads on TV. May I also note that if Polonius were to retire and live off his super, he would not be paying for the ABC? All that fun for free!
DP - Looking across what you have ‘revealed’ to us over this weekend - I am trying to assess the claims of spokespersons for Limited News in the USA that the recent hacking of their corporate site might have given information about national security to those underhanded hackers.
ReplyDeleteLike the character in the ‘Goon Show’ who used to fill in pauses in the script with ‘The Russians done it, Mate’ - the almost immediate assessment seems to be that ‘The Chinese done it’ , and with the intention of visiting harm on the USA.
The first logical obstacle to that is - if you wished to visit harm on the USA - why would you interfere in any way with the production of “Fox’, or the publication of, say - ‘New York Post’? Surely, if you truly wished to spread disinformation and confusion through a country you could not have trained better operatives than Tucker Carlson and, our own humble contribution, Miranda the Devine? And they are but the models for so many other contributors to Limited News in the USA.
As Napoleon Bonaparte is credited with saying, during the period when things were going fairly well for him ‘quand l'ennemi fait un faux mouvement , il faut se garder de l’interrompre’ - reported in English, not that long after the event, as ’when the enemy is making a false movement we must take good care not to interrupt him’.
And - if the next false movement is to have Donald J Trump back behind the Seal - the Chinese do have a version of popcorn, so will be able to sit back and enjoy the show.
On the assumption that the corporate system in the USA also contains the electronic version of the Flagship, and, who knows - even clips from ‘Sky’ - what might hackers have sought from our land of Girtby? Perhaps Sharri’s list of contacts, hight up in the Chinese bureaucracy, who sent her all that information about laboratories cooking up viruses in Wuhan? Who was that unbeliever who said they were about as real as Akker Dakker’s ‘my sources high up in the Labor Party’, who supposedly seeded his columns for years.
The hackers could have been seeking pre-publication information on our Ned’s next book, or ways to analyse who has been doing the Bromancer’s thinking for him within some or other ‘Defence Think Tank’. No point seeking information on when our first AUKUS submarines might be ready to fire a shot in the direction of China - it is doubtful that anyone has a clue about that timing. Think F-111s.
So - it is a mystery . Perhaps it was all a cunning ploy to persuade Rupert that what he is promoting is truly patriotic to his adopted country - which should confuse him.
The pond full endorses all aspects of your thesis Chadders. The Ruskis knew what to do with Cucker Tarlson and now he's fully onside. Why have the Chinese missed the chance with News Corp? The Chairman and son have always been willing to sell their souls and American democracy for the odd squillion of cash in the reptile claw.
DeleteFaux Noise remains a rabid supporter of the mango Mussolini and didn't he once say “One of the many great things about our just signed giant Trade Deal with China is that it will bring both the USA & China closer together in so many other ways. Terrific working with President Xi, a man who truly loves his country. Much more to come!”
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/15/trump-china-coronavirus-188736
If they'd played it right, there'd be much more to come, and suddenly the reptiles would join Cucker Tarlson in celebrating authoritarian dictatorships, and all would be well in the world, with both the Chinese military and the militant Murdochs making out like bandits ...
While I unconditionally endorse DP's endorsement of your thesis, Chad, I would just like to address this one small matter that you have raised: "Surely, if you truly wished to spread disinformation and confusion through a country you could not have trained better operatives than Tucker Carlson...".
ReplyDeleteIndeed, but then DP has already answered that one with some wisdom from Samuel Langhorne: "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
That applies to a very great deal of human endeavour, I've found. Never make the assumption that because somebody gets one or two things right, that they haven't screwed up everything else. And vice versa, sometimes.