Friday, April 03, 2020

In which the pond endures our Henry before suffering at the keyboard of the lizard Oz editorialist ...

Every so often someone sends the pond a link to that Vanity Fair story about James Murdoch here, and it seems to be doing the social rounds again.

Relax, the pond has it in hand, and often notes those lines:

In an interview with the New Yorker’s Jane Mayer, published Monday, the youngest son of the right-wing media mogul warned that certain unnamed media outlets are using disinformation to divide people and to shore up their own power. “The connective tissue of our society is being manipulated to make us fight with each other, making us the worst versions of ourselves,” James said, not explicitly naming Fox News but almost certainly describing it. “There are views I really disagree with on Fox,” he added, noting that there are “periods of time” when he and his father do not talk.

But the Vanity Fair story is actually a rip of a New Yorker story by Jane Mayer on 16th September, here (might be paywall affected).

So how’s it going in the United States? Well the Donald and his minions, and thereby indirectly Chairman Rupert and his minions, are helping rack up thousands of deaths in the current crisis, by first downplaying it, and then bumbling along. Why does it matter? Well if the US catches a serious health calamity, the rest of the world will feel the sneeze.

Which is why the pond has no time for the reptile apologists and conflationists and confusionistas (that such a word should be) down under. And with that out of the way, let’s get on with this day’s reptile outing, and the worst versions of ourselves …


No, no, no, that's a belated prank. 

The pond never runs Gra Gra, the pond just wanted to introduce the theme of blindness to the potential for bleakness ahead, and the willingness of the reptiles to play fast and loose on this pandemic, with endless blather about restrictions, limitations and the police state … and for that we must leave Gra Gra alone with the Hansonite one (and his Swiss bank accounts and Gold Coast frolics), and instead turn to our hole in the bucket man …


Is there an upside to having our Henry in our midst? Well at least there's no need for the pond's stoic interpreter of reptile illustrations to be disappointed yet again this Friday, because it's pretty clear that the killjoy, fun-destroying, Orwellian police state routine is going to get yet another airing ...


Complacency and exceptionalism?

Yep, thy alternate name is hole in the bucket Henry …


It's the usual bullshit, unhelpful and counterproductive, with the usual nonsense - it is important to question the need for drastic measures and restrictions - and the usual caveats - "to say that is certainly not to claim the epidemic is over."

Others have been through this nonsense before, in an even more virulent strain ... 




For once, the pond is pleased that politicians decided to act relatively quickly in Australia, and with only a few major blunders, and yet there's no accounting for the endless complacency and stupidity of some. 

The pond's son, who lives in a city apartment block, yesterday reported clusters of millennials gathered together, as if social distancing was but a passing dream and a fad for oldies … and perhaps some of them have been reading all the Murdochian blather about the police state and the needless limitations on their liberties and freedoms, their right to keep on fucking, and if that happens to fuck others, well, what the fuck? So join them, dear Henry, please help with the fucking ...


So we're all right Jack, or Jill, as the case may be? Is it time to do a little boasting, and a little distancing?



As an aside, the best footage the pond saw last night featured Hannity calling the whole thing a hoax, and then, later, denying that he'd ever called it a hoax. For sheer brazenness, Hannity takes some beating. 

But how hard is it for Seth Meyer and Colbert and Kimmel and the like, having to do cold openings, without the buzz of an audience? The pond feels a duty to stay in touch, but watching Colbert feed his dog ham seemed like the most amateur routine you might find on Tic Toc (Kimmel's refuge) or YouTube ...

And that's why the pond is hoping that in the future, our Henry won't have to practise social distancing from his current column, and its many fatuities and foolishnesses, of a particularly dangerous kind ...


Oh enough with the blather about unnecessary, heavy-handed, absurdly draconian measures. 

You sir, to put it politely, are a doddering old fuckwit and a positive menace, and really, it's a disgrace that the reptiles should keep running your column and this sort of police state rhetoric …

We've already seen the form on Australian beaches when Australians are beguiled into the notion that it's all an over-reaction, it's just another form of flu, and a few useless oldies like our Henry will kick the bucket, and where's the harm in that?

And why did the pond find it particularly ironic? Well the very same day, the lizard Oz editorialist decided to wax indignant …


Yes, just as our Henry is rabbiting on about prudence, the lizard Oz editorialist decided to bash the pollies for not telling the deadly story, and instead sweeping it under the carpet ...


Public disquiet?

Publishing our Henry's column caused the pond immense disquiet …have you no shame, no awareness of your own rag, lizard Oz editorialist?

All the lizard Oz editorial is useful for is padding between cartoons …


But do go on, talk up the deadly pandemic and unconscionable approach, while publishing the tripe featured in our Henry's column ...


Yes, there have been major fuck-ups, and the Ruby Princess was a classic. 

But how many people have Fox News and Hannity and a bunch of others and their pet Donald managed to kill? 

And how, in his own humble way, might our Henry manage to kill, if anyone took his words seriously, and decided that the current rules were an overstretch and an infringement of liberties and it was okay to get out and about and spray a little virus here or there? 

Or all the other reptiles down under humbugging away about a police state, including, no less, in recent days, the lizard Oz editorialist.

Openness? Humbug, the pond says, and being partial to humbuggery, the pond decided to press on with another lizard Oz editorial ...


Uh huh, here it comes … the paw outstretched, with the plea, "spare a silver coin, guv'nor" for the humble reptiles doing it hard on hand-to-mouth poverty row ...


Say what? It's a mega story? And the pond should call Paul Fletcher?

Sorry, the broadband's a little stretched at the moment, and the last the pond heard from Fletcher was nonsense about the way the everything was going spiffingly well with the NBN.

Do you ever read your own rag, lizard Oz editorialist?


And who does the pond blame for this situation, apart from the obvious one, being Malware? Why, the Murdochians, and their stooges, who first tried to ruin connectivity to save the old Foxtel model, and since then have done a Hannity every step of the way ...


Read that and weep,  Hannity reptiles down under: "Eventually the NBN's out-of date technology will need to be replaced right across the network."

But the pond isn't sure why the good prof is worried about medical connectivity and the need for a technology upgrade?

Didn't our Henry just blather on endlessly explaining that we were all right, Jack and Jill, and it wouldn't happen here?

And having helped wreck the NBN, the lizard Oz editorialist is now using a pandemic to try to take down the reptiles'  enemies?

Oh how the pond felt the need for a Rowe, with more Rowe fixes here


Now back to the reptile moaning and whining and wailing and carry-on, and thank the long absent lord, it's the last gobbet and a Friday, those in these endless days without the sun, who knows if it really is a Friday … and who would bother to read the moaning reptiles to try and find out ...


Meanwhile, in the United States, the Donald, ably aided and abetted by Fox News, has pushed the country to an extremely parlous, perilous position … with lies and snake oil salesmanship of the worst kind, and with insufferable sycophantic support from the Murdochians …

And for this, the pond should give a toss about the whining and the moaning down under?


And so, for anyone who's endured far too much for a Friday, here's a few from the infallible Pope … with the first one having fun with another reptile phobia ...



Sorry, infallible Pope, that lesson is a little too advanced for our Henry, who couldn't even fix a bloody hole in a bucket …

Thursday, April 02, 2020

In which the bromancer wanders off into the twilight zone, and as usual, the pond follows ...

Before this turns into a mutual admiration society of the Donald or the lizard Oz kind, the pond must politely insist it's enjoying the comments far more than the reptile insights available on the pond.

Why? Well, anyone prepared to accept the weird conjunction of "reptile insights" must think they can see quarks, or might have been staring into the sun too long …

Take the bromancer today as an example - please, somebody take the bromancer, and make sure you use a HB pencil when you draw the blinds, Jeeves …

Sorry, the pond is going a little stir crazy but the bromancer is going completely bonkers …


The bromancer offers up a classic reptile ploy, wherein he offers up a proposal, only to fiercely deny it, yet in a way that it sticks in the mind. 

It's classic 4Chan conspiracy theory trolling, in a supposedly respectable and respected rag … and here's how it works …

You see? No one believes it is the case, and yet, and yet … why, it's theoretically possible.

Now to give this sort of meaningless speculation some weight, the reptiles immediately followed up with a graph, which anyone interested will have to click on to enlarge, because the pond has many reptile eggs to fry easy over this day …


There, duty done, now let's return to the insidious bromancer speculation in action in a par ...


It would be insane? No one is making this charge? And yet the bromancer gives it air, and watch how the following snaps of the Chinese go from a handshake to sinister military motifs. 

First the handshake … and more sinister speculations …and more denials of the sinister speculations, which only serve to strengthen those sinister speculations ...


What's the point? Israel has a biological weapons program; the US has a biological weapons program, which it claims to have ended, but who knows? Russia has also been busy in the area, taking it to the streets when an assassination is needed, and who knows what the North Koreans might manage

And so on, and so forth, but now we must implant images of the sinister Chinese industrial military complex on the march … because, trust the pond, there are no examples of any other industrial military complexes available … unless you count a stricken US aircraft carrier threatening Guam ...


You see? "I am not remotely accusing Beijing …" or any other government I actually don't name, because let's keep the attention on the Chinese and their hero worship … and as for "not remotely"?

Why of course, let's indulge in more idle speculation ...

Thank the long absent lord that the whole world isn't entirely susceptible to the bromancer, and his paranoia about caucasian populations, which reaches a new level of white nationalism, even for him at his delusional best …

And now, moving on from this weird 4Chan shit, the pond just has the time to notice that the reptiles are continuing with their Orwellian police state routine …

The pond happened to catch a glimpse of The Drum last night, and there was some loon from the Sunday Terror peddling this nonsense, and as usual, the ABC politely standing by while the Murdochian regurgitated the new company line … 

And, almost inevitably, the lizard Oz editorialist carried on the very same way today …


For fuck's sake, while everybody else is trying to be exceptionally cautious, the reptiles are rabbiting on about diktats and state control? What the infectious fuck?


Suddenly they're quoting the dog botherer as an expert in how to deal with pandemics? We must be in backpacker heaven, carousing into the night hours in Glebe … will anyone save them from their own and reptile stupidity?


Suddenly even Gladys is accused of running a police state? Pity the poor coppers, required to go out and confront carefree loons, without so much as a face mask …

The plods in the field in the UK are suffering as they carry out their duties, and so are the fuzz against junk in the States. And amazingly there have been reports of people attacking supermarket staff …


And what cheek to end with "irresponsible demands for a premature relaxation of restrictions" after blathering on about police states and diktats …

If the reptiles have their way, people will still be wandering around infecting each other by Christmas … all in the name of reptile freedom of the post-Orwellian kind …

And so to the savvy Savva, because no matter the length of the post, the pond will have its Savva fix … and sadly, it seems she's taken the SloMo kool aide and gone off to the footy ...


Oh dear, what to say of the photo, except it's not a Lobbecke?

As for the text … what an opening comparison ...


It was about this point when the pond felt the need to wheel in an immortal Rowe, with more Rowe here


There, that felt better, and the pond could return to the Savva ...


Ah well, it probably keeps SloMo's Pentecostal buddy off the front pages … and a few other things have disappeared too …


And so to the final Savva gobbet ...


Oh no, not the devious biological weapons deploying Chinese again. The pond felt in need of a cartoon from the infallible Pope …



Hallelujah, and usually the pond would end there … but of late the reptiles themselves have been in turmoil, and this in turn happened to involve the cult master Lobbecke …and respect and attention must always be paid ...


 

So much despair and so much trouble, and a Shanahan on the case - nepotism, moi? - but the pond decided to go the Miller … because the reptiles have already ignored the pond's humble suggestion.

Kill off the lizard Oz, which as the bromancer demonstrated ably today, is little better than a trawl through 4 or 8Chan, and save the local papers …

No? Well, then let us turn to the redeeming power of the cult master …


Now, the pond is no expert in interpreting the cult master - others are much better at deciphering the entrails - but that headline "revolt against Establi…" would have been more convincing if the ink blotter darkness had been emanating from "Coronoavirus: biological war is now top of mind" …

As for the rest of reptile Miller's moaning and whining, as News Corp joins the reality that's been faced by so many businesses these past few months …in fact they've been a little late to join the queue …well, once lured in by the Lobbecke, the pond is now in so deep that it would be as tedious to return as to go o'er ...


What's this? The reptiles moaning and whining and demanding that the government fix things for them? Haven't they heard this will only lead to an Orwellian police state? You know, with sinister heads of state demanding lavish praise?



Never mind, back to the reptiles, demanding freedom on the one hand, and on the other, that the world be cabined, cribbed, confined and bound in to saucy doubts and fears of the reptilian bromancer kind ...


Um, well, the pond doesn't actually profit from the reptiles, but in a way, nor does the world. It's the dear leader, Chairman Rupert, who profits as he spreads fear, confusion and chaos through sundry lands …

Dear Mr Miller, you do realise that News Corp helped launch on to the world one of the most inept leaders in recent times? One singularly incapable of dealing with a real crisis? And for this you think you deserve support? Why, the pond would rather donate to the Graudian than spend a nano second lifting a finger to help News Corp ...

You do realise begging for government help is a pitiful sight, at least if you spend all your time talking of free markets while deploring police states, and at the same time, regularly publishing IPA propaganda for Gina?

You do realise you're spruiking for a deeply corrupt and corrupting organisation, where the only humour to be found is the sight of "Judge" Jeanine Pirro getting on the turps and then getting on the telly?

Oh never mind, the pond has said it all before, here, have a cartoon or two …