Wednesday, July 27, 2016

In which the pond worries about the Devine's descent into madness but is saved by the bouffant one's safe pair of 'do nothing' hands ...


(Above: and more David Rowe here).

It's the business of the pond to measure the temperature in the herpetarium on a daily basis. Too much heat and the reptiles are likely to go mad. Too little and the blood begins to chill.

There are signs that the Devine is becoming increasingly rabid, weird and demented. Her response to the distressing NT footage?

Drug-addicted, hopeless mothers having babies they can’t look after to a string of feckless, often violent men, is a recipe for intergenerational disaster. It’s not as if radical solutions aren’t on the table. It’s just no one in government has the courage or interest in taking them seriously.

And what might these radical solutions be that we need to take seriously?

Jeremy Sammut, from the Centre for Independent Studies, made the moral case for adoption to rescue Australia’s abused underclass children in his book last year, “The Madness Of Australian Child Protection”. 

Indeed, indeed. What we need, above all else, is another stolen generation. That'll really fix things. Not that there's ever been a stolen generation, the pond hastens to add ...

In another searing recent book, “No contraception no dole: tackling intergenerational welfare,” former Labor minister Gary Johns, says the child abuse crisis is so urgent that contraception needs to be compulsory for those on welfare, “to help crack intergenerational reproduction of strife.” Both authors have made a serious study of how to arrest the seemingly intractable crisis of child abuse. Yet their prescriptions have been ignored or damned as illiberal.

Indeed, indeed, But when will the pond's prescription - contraception needs to be compulsory for those employed by News Corp - be taken seriously rather than ignored or damned as illiberal?

Just think about it. The reader abuse crisis is now so urgent that surely contraception needs to be compulsory for those living on Chairman Rupert welfare payments.

Both Gary Johns and the pond are only following in the immortal steps of Jonathan Swift's 1729 A Modest Proposal ...


If you're not certain about Swift's solution, might the pond suggest the addition of a little garlic, ginger, pepper and chili?

Somehow - it could only be done with a leap and a Devine bound -  we then move from events in the NT to the live cattle trade to the Devine rabbiting on about greyhounds, and won't someone think of the greyhounds and ...

It’s a sweet vocation to campaign for the welfare of animals. But we have distorted the soft-hearted compassion of teenage girls into a moral cause greater than any other, except perhaps climate change. 
The problem is that animal rights groups have moved into extreme territory where animal rights are equal to human rights, where animal life is as precious as human life, where animals and humans can have sex as long as it is consensual, where animals are equal to people.

So suddenly distressing events in the NT are conflated with climate change, and animals and humans having consensual sex?

The Devine ends with an impassioned cry, a howling at the moon ...

The burgeoning of animal rights law as an industry fuels this madness. The result is that outrages against human children rarely get the attention they deserve, and if they do, it’s all too late.

Indeed, indeed, it is simply impossible to chew gum and rub the tummy at the same time, and all this talk about animals and cruelty simply distracts attention from the munchkins.

Remember, if you happen to feed your dog or cat, it can only be done in a way that puts your mite in mortal peril ...

If that isn't full-blown weird, the pond would like better examples. And then, at the bottom of the Devine outing, came this defence of the Devine's most recent bout of epic madness - well she does toss around 'madness' like a Scot tackling the caber.

It should be remembered that the Devine was encouraged in that madness by the Terrorists, who featured her on the front page, backed her with an outraged editorial and lavish reporting ... and now her defence of that outrage comes down to this tragic dribble of pedantry ...


There's a joke in there somewhere, but is it wise or proper to make a joke about the Devine's gradual descent into madness, haunted by images of humans consensually fornicating with animals? You know, because climate change, because greyhounds ...

This is the sort of thing that sends the Devine into a frenzy ... (more in pdf form here)



And yet every day the pond applies these simple guidelines in relation to TG friends, and no doubt the reptiles manage to do the same to their new star columnist, Catherine "just call me Cate" McGregor ...

But where were we? Suddenly, thanks to the foam-flecked frothing of the Devine, we're jumping all over the bigoted homophobic place, when we started off in the NT ...

Thankfully, there was one solid, safe pair of reptile hands available to give a sensible response ...


Yes indeed, the pond always thought that the royal commission into child abuse in sundry institutions was a profound mistake, a classic example of politicians acting without a real appreciation of what they'd begun.

The subsequent suffering of the institutions has moved the pond greatly, and such suffering should surely be deplored ...



So everybody knew, for at least 18 months?

Federal Indigenous Affairs Minister Nigel Scullion says he was not aware of allegations of abuse within the Northern Territory juvenile detention system, because it had not "piqued his interest".

"I wish I'd known what I know today, or I knew yesterday afternoon, some time ago, but the facts of the matter were I didn't know," Senator Scullion told reporters in Canberra.

"Yes, this is my patch, and the last time, just for clarity, I can recall back in October vaguely last year, there was some commentary in the media about this, but it was all about 'this has all been taken care of', 'there is another investigation and we are adopting recommendations' and that sort of thing," he said. "And I made an assumption … that the Northern Territory Government were taking care of this matter and that I didn't take any further action in that. (And more here).

And so on and so forth. So everybody knew about it, except those who say they didn't, and nobody did anything, and the most appropriate course of action is to keep on doing nothing, because in time, with a bit of luck, it might all go away. Or it might not, but that'll be then, and certainly not now.

But at least the bouffant one got one thing right. By involving the NT government as a leading player in the inquiry, Malware has once again made a fatally flawed move.

Remarkably the NT News has this day decided to turn itself into a newspaper.


Well at least the reptiles of Oz have stayed solid, cluck clucking about how it's all the fault of the lumpenproletariat, and worrying that an actual inquiry might lead to unforeseen consequences. And anyway, where's the news, because everyone knew and nobody did nothing and that's the way things should stay.

Do something, anything? Next thing you know, institutions and politicians will be suffering, and how unfair is that ...

And so to a Pope cartoon, and more Pope here ...





Tuesday, July 26, 2016

In which the pond heads off to the lizard Oz for an obiter dicta referendum ...


Sad to say, the Caterist must be swept away from the top of the Faraway Tree, but what a way to do it, because the pond was mightily impressed by the bile and the hate and the foaming froth and fear generated by the vitriolic parfume of the Devine and the Terrorists ... and all from that humble front page ...


Well it wouldn't have done to splash Girls School Bans Girls, a bit too oxymoronic even for the Terrorists. 

The lizards of Oz are much more cunning in the way they go about their business.

How to stir trouble, how to create doubts and fears about a plebiscite already run out of steam?

Why that's easy, deliver a clarion call for a referendum!



What a clever ploy this is, and it instantly reminded the pond of the wise words of prattling Polonius.


Which in turn reminded the pond of Martin Flanagan's patient explanation that 'Martin' wasn't the same word as 'Richard' in Can you bear it? The confusion of Gerard Henderson ...  because you see, Polonius had started off this way ...


Well there's no good following that link to the Media Watch Dog, because it takes you to the latest issue ... and anyway, this dwelling on plebiscite v referendum was just an elaborate ruse on the pond's part to provide an excuse to link to the reader-inspired Richard Akcland report Hoist with his own pedantry, about Fr. Gerard scribbling for the Catholic Boys' Daily with no trace of sackcloth or ashes ...

Never mind, in all that fuss and confusion, the pond almost entirely forgot that we should be dealing with one Barry Maley and his own handsome attempt at fuss and confusion of a plebiscite v. referendum kind, so here we go ...


Now this is excellent stuff. It means that after a hard-fought, Devine- and Terrorist-led campaign of frothing and foaming fear and mis-representation, the entire result can be dismissed as a short-changed rush to judgment, a hasty misinterpretation and legally suspect ...

Of course Maley - who seems to think that marriage should an interminable life sentence, though perhaps not in the case of Donald Trump - is much loved and cited by the Pellists and other forward thinking types married to Christ - and it turns out that back in 2002 he was a finalist in a prestigious award ...


Or so it says at the ACU page here.

And the eminent scholar had his own splash at his CIS home ...


Hmm, a 2002 finalist with a 2003 book?

Never mind, on we go with the rest of the careful campaign to explain why even a plebiscite might be completely useless ... or even, if the pond might be so grand and Maley Latinate, obiter dicta ...

... though perhaps the pond should observe in passing that in its youth obiter dictum was a matter of some concern, as explained by the eminent John Henry Newman ...


Oh dear, dear, there's a lot more here, and what a distraction it is, when we really should be most concerned with the Maley-ian matter at hand where we might once again see obiter dicta in action ...


Well there was a pompous and portentous blast, as useful a bout of obiter dictum as even a Newman might love.

Of course the unstated hope - perhaps a hope better unstated - is that by imposing the rigorous definition of a referendum, whereby all states must be carried as well as the vote, a stringent requirement that has seen many more referenda fail than get up - it might well be possible to defeat the proposal.

Perhaps the Currish Snail could lead the way in Queensland? Might the west be carried and the outrageous proposal to undermine the catholic understanding of the nature of marriage be terminated?

Could Miranda the Devine and the Daily Terrorists sway the mob to hurl vile abuse at anyone in the vicinity?

Such is the way mischief is made by mischievous minds, facilitated by the reptiles of Oz ... and there will be a lot more of this as the plebiscite approaches, from the overt Devine Terrorists to the legalistic Maleys ...

The onion muncher has left Malware with a corker and the cork is now popping ...

And please, no insolent memes asking obvious questions ...


Let the mayhem begin ...


In which the pond discovers more examples of ABC bias, and a Caterist so wild and woolly he deserves to be in unReal ...


(Above: and more Rowe here).

It's the pond's unhappy duty to start off the day's duties by noting two outrageous, egregious examples of ABC bias ...

First came Media Watch daring to suggest that Miranda the Devine was involved in a beat-up, but instead was forced to reveal her impeccable researching and reporting ...


There's much more here, but it's been quite awhile since Media Watch dared to wander off and accuse News Corp of being a dingbat organisation with a vile crusader producing gay hate - cop a load of the abuse generated by the Devine and the Terrorists - and they must stop it at once. As if they hadn't already made clear what a diligent and excellent searcher after facts and truths she is ...

Surely the day will come when the totalitarian ABC rues the day when it attacks the remarkable work skills of Miranda the Devine, when she was only following the old saw of no names, no pack-drill ... 

Sure, no actual content resulted, as opposed to foam-flecked paranoia, hysteria and fear-mongering, and a story that would have seen Paul "Magic Water Man" Sheehan sacked, but what a relief that thanks to the noble Terrorists,  the Devine will sail on dispensing her invaluable insights dressed as acid bile ...

Then came the second remarkable example of ABC bias, this time on Lateline. The show peddled the usual sort of climate alarmism and hysteria the pond has come to expect from the cardigan greenies, and this time it was even worse because the source was Chinese ...


This is all very well, and more here, but the pond was deeply disturbed to discover that the program didn't note once that Qin Xiang regularly flew to do his research on a black helicopter, and was part of a UN scheme to use climate science to install a world government within the decade (as uncovered by Lord Monckton and Dame Janet Slap). The role of the Chinese government in this also went unmentioned ...

Now it's all very well to feature the work of people on the ground, observing actual events on the ground, and using actual data, but how could this remotely compare to the tremendous theoretical work being done by News Corp, the Bolter, Moorice and Graham Lloyd? Haven't they heard that Greg "the walri man" Hunt's work is done? And dusted ...

The pond realised that it was clearly in the presence of a totalitarian organisation. No, not News Corp, the ABC ... and so the clarion cry from the Caterists this morning pierced the pond's brain in the way that ice pick did some damage to Trotsky's neck ...


Hmm, that splash makes the humble Caterist sound like a crazed fanatic. 

Oh sure, that's true enough, and free speech should be strictly understood as the right to fully, totally and completely agree with the Caterists, and no alternative thoughts shall be allowed, but perhaps we could soften it just a little?


That's better. It's still remarkably stupid, but "...is one step towards" is a little less emphatically stupid, less clear a naked breach of Godwin's Law and so the swear jar fine can be reduced a little.

Unfortunately the same can't be done for the column, which is so rampantly silly, it will be a rich treat for any reader in search of prime loonery ...


Now it's not the pond's business to chart the chaotic confusion in the Caterist mind, or the veering off to Carlton when Sam the halal man happened to attend Baulkham Hills High School, but the lesson here is that a man who routinely banks taxpayer grants to keep his institute afloat is something of a stranger in his adopted country.

Hey ho, hey nonny no, on we go, but the pond promises a real treat at the end of the Caterist screed, once they've got past blonde and morning commercial television worship ... and please, no mention of Channel 7 in Martin Place and Pyrmont, and certainly no mention of Channel 10 in Pyrmont ... everyone knows that Channel 9 is the only network to stay in Sydney's west, broadcasting as it broadcasts from the outer west heartland of Artarmon, the same suburb as houses totally out of touch SBS ...

Why should any of that matter? Because stupidity ...


Let's overlook the refreshing Kruger ... because the awesome stupidity and the re-writing of history in that last par is truly amazing to behold, as if Adolf Hitler was somehow a fellow-travelling member of the Futurists - as opposed to a banal and conventional watercolourist - and Mussolini a soul mate of Futurismo Marinetti,  as opposed to a scheming self-seeking politician

One might as well assault the Russian Orthodox church for failing Stalin as a priest ...

But this sort of nonsense provides the pond with that special delight, the sort that only a man funded by Australian taxpayer grants could provide ...


You see? You need to follow the convolutions carefully if you're to lapse into total incoherence. 

It seems the early fascists were metropolitan sophisticates rather like today's intelligentsia - artists, writers, academics, dreamers, composers convinced of their own superior wisdom, in the manner of a Dimitri Shostakovich, who in matters musical was anything but modest - and it is this very same intelligentsia that wanted to crack down on Dimitri Shostakovich performances and compositions, not just for the music he conducted (yes, conducted, certainly not composed) and the music going on in his head, which he never ever wrote down ...

Does this make Shostakovich some sort of schizophrenic, being responsible for his very own persecution by himself, not to mention the odd persecution by the failed paranoid priest Stalin?

Only if you're as fundamentally and as profoundly a dumb fuckwit as a Caterist, who when in the grip of his muse is pure poetry in verbal motion ... like a crane in flight over Russia...

Put it this way. Anyone who can conflate and confuse morning television, freedom of speech and Shostakovich and Stalin in this way deserves their very own TV reality show ...


Okay, enough of the pond's current television viewing, and on to the artistic Pope, wherein it can be observed that Bill Shorten bears a startling resemblance to a duck. More politically correct Pope here ... and as sure as the reptile Oz continues to exist, and the taxpayer continues to give grants to the Caterists, more confusing, conflating, incoherent offerings from the Caterist clunker to follow ... remember that's what an "ology" degree can lead to ...




Monday, July 25, 2016

Everybody wants some more Order of Lenin hunting from the master of the art ...


Over the weekend the pond routinely achieved speeds which back in the day a 1990s modem could have easily surpassed.

It was, of course, thanks to The Optus The (please chant in German Die Optus Die), and let's not forget to honour Malcolm Turnbull, the malware of our times.

The company is doing minimal maintenance, but then so is Telstra, until someone wastes money trying to fix up terminally useless HFC or replace the rain-addled copper lying dead beneath the streets.

But enough of the pond's fear and loathing, what's upsetting the reptiles this day? Well the tabloid Terrorists are flogging Iron Man along with their usual hysteria ...


The pond is so over Fe 26 movie heroes, and movies based on Marvel and DC comics and graphic novels, and would like to mount a  strong case for Fe(OH)3 ... but then, if Gods of Egypt is the worst movie ever funded with Australian government money, then surely Richard Linklater's Everybody Wants Some!! is the most indulgent movie ever funded by billionaire Larry Ellison's progeny.

A Silicon Valley approach to movie-making? If the pond wants a complete absence of plot, we'll just keep watching Last Year at Texas Baseballbad ...


Oh okay, it was a fraught weekend, and it takes a little courage to summon up the desire to do the dance with the reptiles at the start of the week. 

The lizard Oz has hosted an abundance of shattered reptiles ...


    

You can imagine the pond's complete surprise. Jolly Joe a failure?! And we have such good broadband too ...

But this was by way of an elaborate avoidance dance, because it's the pond's duty to look at the reptile commentariat, and there's no bigger reptile than the put out to pasture Order of Lenin hunter, who offers a peculiar mixture of hubris and ancient Richard Linklater nostalgia of the most tedious old fart kind ...


Of course readers will note that references to the naive moral virtue of others will inevitably turn out to be a cloak, a smokescreen, for a preening reptile rolling around in his superior moral virtue ...


The natural question arises at this point. How far up himself can Chris Mitchell go? To where the sun doesn't shine, or perhaps even further, into Richard Linklater territory, or perhaps even by doing an Alex Proyas ...

But punters have to wait for the final Mitchell flourish to discover the truly grotesque level of self-uppedness...


Say what? Hanson's eclipse was all due to the Currish Snail? So presumably her recent resurgence is all due to the absence of the Order of Lenin hunter from the current Currish Snail coverage?

The strutting peacock fantasising about the enormous power of journalism? It's an astonishing sight.

Or perhaps it's just a massive bout of self-delusion and triumphalism producing a bizarro hallucinatory burst of writing which concludes with an attempt to blame Beattie and Labor as the target of Hanson's conspiracy theories ...

All the more wondrous as last week we saw this headline ...


Inter alia in that story, which can be found in full at Fairfax here, came this report of an SBS documentary soon to be screened...


So much for Peter Beattie. So much for the dropkick known as Chris Mitchell.

Here's how Mitchell should have ended his piece: ... in the conspiracy laden world of One Nation, Tony Abbott's slush fund dirty tricks, done on his own, John Howard assures us, will go down forever as a cynical ploy to jail Hanson ...

Except of course that "conspiracy laden" is the wrong wording, because that's what actually happened ...



As Alex Proyas is to Australian movies, so Chris Mitchell is to journalism and bootlaces ...

But as a reward for his sterling efforts, the pond feels compelled to honour his achievement in its usual way ... 

It's a trifle battered, but the pond hopes reptile Mitchell will wear it with pride, and perhaps it will get him a place in Richard Linklater's next movie, about the glory days of journalism in Queensland, working title Everybody Wants Some More Mitchell Bullshit!! ....




Sunday, July 24, 2016

In which the pond is devined by a paranoid ancient mariness ... (well we wouldn't want to introduce notions of gender fluidity by talking of ancient mariners)


The pond apologises for repeating the content, but it was  just to get re-orientated ...

Hunk, Phwoar!, gender roles, get a load of that cut-ness, Phwoar!, etc etc, because the pond has an extremely unpleasant duty this Sunday, which is to probe the paranoid brain of the Devine ...

The Devine has for months been banging on about Safe Schools and the way it's a Marxist plot. Here's just a small sample ...


Masochists can explore their love of pain by googling for more ...

None were safe. When you're a paranoid with sociopathic, homophobic and TG phobic tendencies, you're inclined to swing wildly at anything and anyone within reach ...


Anyone available was dragged into the zealot fundamentalist, bullying cause ...




Orwellian, totalitarian, and all the rest of the glib denunciations you might expect from the Orwellian totalitarians at News Corp and the Daily Terror ...

By golly, breaking Godwin's Law is such fun ...

Never mind, the latest target of the Devine came last Wednesday when Cheltenham Girls'  High School, strangely having failed to change its name to Cheltenham Gender is a Construct School, copped a hammering from the Devine ...

The pond did its best to ignore it all - there's only so much attention should be paid to an Ancient Mariness yabbering and harassing wedding guests - but others tried to point out a few matters the Devine might have got wrong ...


None of it made the slightest impression on the Devine, because when a paranoid with sociopathic tendencies gets on a hobby horse, she's inclined to ride hard and fast, and may the devil get the hind most ...

And so she returned to it today ... in the usual way ...


Now it's remarkable how Orwellian keeps getting a pounding from a paranoid with sociopathic tendencies, but the pond doesn't blame the Devine, so much as the Daily and Sunday Terrorists, who don't just harbour her foam-flecked rants and rages but encourage her by making them front page features ...

Well we've established the style, so please allow the pond to revert to the Devine blog posting, because it's more compressed, and there we can discover the compleat Devine, which includes conspiracy theories of the first water.

After all, we've read how courageous it is for parents and teachers to anonymously defy the cover up ... as opposed to courageous parents and teachers who courageously identified themselves ... so there's sure to be other absurdities to relish ...


Well there's nothing like an official denial to get a paranoid with conspiracy theory tendencies going and so it was with the Devine ... because in the Devine world, Safe Schools is pure evil, of a Marxist kind. Which is where you might end up if you happened to have certain forms of homophobia, including an enormous phobia about TG folk.


Of course, it so happens that gender is fluid. Why it's fluid enough for Donald Trump to enter the Republican convention to the sounds of a bisexual singer who died of AIDS.

One of the big problems with understanding why epithets such as "poofter" and "queen" are flung around in school playgrounds, apart from their source in fundamentalist religions of the Catholic Devine kind, is the refusal of bigots to acknowledge their prejudices and the desire of bigots to be allowed to go on with their bullying and discrimination. This is dressed up in high faluting tones with talk of re-engineering, and "sexual orientation" and being shocked at gender fluidity, but gender has been fluid since ancient times, as a short reading of the wiki on bisexuality will demonstrate  ... and that's before we get on to talk about hermaphrodites and so on and so forth ...

But the Devine, acting on the instructions of goat and camel herders, will have none of this ... and so while deploring jihadists ends up conducting her own fundamentalist jihad.

Actually, can the pond can take that back. There are some who follow the goat and camel herder faiths who want to be generous and inclusive and non-discriminatory, and good on 'em.

Just not the Devine, and there's no point debating it or discussing it with her, but rather to offer ongoing sympathy for all those who once again have been Devined. You know the smell, you know the pungent odour ... splash it on and don't forget the ear lobes ...