Sunday, February 18, 2018

In which a complimentary woman speaks or at least scribbles and so sets off a Sunday mediation ...


The pond is inordinately proud and pleased that the only winter sporting event it's seen in recent weeks is the movie I, Tonya ...which is much better than the overly solemn Battle of the Sexes, though Jessica McNamee captures the vacant glare of the incipient religious fundamentalist well ... and as for that fish film, The Shape of Water, sorry, the pond's heart was given long ago to Cocteau and La Belle et la BĂȘte and damned if some overlong, slowly paced bout of faux whimsy is going to come along and snatch it away ...

Yes, it's all part of the pond's attempts to find life beyond Barners, though the Barners struggle goes on, and the pond will be forced to confront the new reality some time soon ...

In the meantime, why not - for a Sunday meditation - return to that perennial favourite of the whining, moaning religious fundamentalist - the right to be an offensive judgemental righteous and pious bigot ... and lo, see how the lizard Oz scores the top three mentions when the subject is raised with google ...


They never give up, do they?

Of course freedom comes in many forms, including the right of Mike Pence to be deeply weird, as outlined at Rolling Stone in The Radical Crusade of Mike Pence - about the only moment the pond paid attention to the current Olympics came with Adam Rippon's takedown of the weirdo ...

“I don’t think he has a real concept of reality,” Rippon told USA Today. “To stand by some of the things that [President] Trump has said and for Mike Pence to say he’s a devout Christian man is completely contradictory. If he’s okay with what’s being said about people and Americans and foreigners and about different countries that are being called ‘s—holes,’ I think he should really go to church.”...
...Rippon’s mother, Kelly, who will be in PyeongChang for her son’s Olympic debut, said people still tell her they are praying for her and her gay son. “Or I’m praying against you,” she told the Orange County Register. “One person came up to me and said ‘I’m still praying he just meets the right girl.’ And I’m thinking, What? Aren’t there other things you should be praying for. World famine? Shouldn’t you use your prayers for something that might happen?”

But enough of the pleasantries and banter, it's time for the lizard Oz's patented form of whining, disagreeable petulance ... and please note, this is the sort of guff the reptiles are pleased to say is part of their Inquirer, apparently because a closed mind with medievalist tendencies is a necessary precondition for inquiring ...






But in truth, the numbing effects of the bigotry can be much more insidious, as noted in that notorious leftie Jesuit rag Eureka Street ...


Now don't ask the pond why anyone would be gay and want to remain a Catholic, and work in a Catholic school, playground for deep conditioning and induction into a life of bigotry and prejudice - it's a deep mystery up there with transubstantiation and the desire to eat human flesh and drink a little human blood each Sunday, but if someone wanted to go that way, you'd think that the least that a bunch of Xians could do is be a bit Xian about it ...

But that's never the way it works with your average Xian.

Instead the Shanners of the world want the right to go on cluck-clucking and tut-tutting in a way they've managed for many thousands of years ...

And as this is a Sunday meditation, please allow the pond to take a detour to a review by Emily Wilson in the New Statesman, a little aged, but isn't the Qantas lounge a handy source of reading material?

The title and splash gives it away, Killing the old gods Christians employed brutal methods to win the culture war against Rome ... currently outside the paywall for the full dose ...

The language of “persecution” and “martyrdom” has been claimed by only one side. Yet there were at least a handful of non-Christians who were persecuted and martyred for their refusal to adopt the new religion. Unlike Trajan and other polytheist authorities, the Christians did not offer their opponents an opportunity to escape punishment with a quick prayer to the correct God. Instead, they probed their homes and even their minds in search of secret sins against the one true deity. Nixey tells the story of the sainted Egyptian monk Shenoute, who led a group of his fellow Christians to batter down the door of a citizen’s house and barge in to discover his forbidden statues of the old pagan gods. Breaking and entering was, Shenoute insisted, entirely justifiable, since: “There is no crime for those who have Christ.”

Violations of what we would now call human rights and civil liberties were allowed for the sake of religious conformity. In Alexandria in 415 CE, the philosopher and teacher Hypatia was mobbed, stoned, flayed, ripped to pieces and burned by a gang of Christians, who accused her of witchcraft. Classical learning, literature and philosophy were now all suspect. Being pious in the new faith meant not only participating in public religious practice but also a moulding of hearts, minds, art, architecture and reading matter to fit the new “reality”. Nixey emphasises above all the aesthetic and cultural violence of the shift from Roman paganism to Christianity. She writes somewhat predictably of the turn away from the relatively “body positive” world of antiquity, in which privileged elite men could wine and dine on imported luxury goods and enjoy a wide range of sexual activities with objectified women and boys, to the asceticism of late antiquity, in which the most pious monks and hermits deprived themselves of food, sex and washing, and often became obsessed with all three...

... Nixey’s story is more shocking when she describes the widespread destruction of antiquities. The vandalism evoked in this book – such as the demolition of the temple of Athena at Palmyra, one of the most impressive buildings in the world – is disturbingly reminiscent of the destruction of cultural heritage sites by Islamic State, although Nixey does not make the comparison. Radical Christian terrorism has a long history. As the Roman Epicurean poet Lucretius wrote in the first century BCE, “Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum.” (“Religion has persuaded people to so much evil.”)

Indeed, indeed, and how they yearn to keep on doing the weevil ...

Your average Islamic and Catholic fundamentalist has much in common when it comes to the persecution of teh gaze, but now duty calls, and the final gobbet of the complimentary Shanners must be endured (well, she's Catholic, but when was the last time the world saw a complimentary female Pope?)


The church is not arguing for the right to discriminate? But that's what the blather about living according to conscience means ... that's how the Sydney Anglicans dress up their wilful, shameful complementarianism ...

Thank the long absent lord the times are changing, as even the Perth Anglicans and the Nationals discovered ...

The Nationals part of the LNP performed poorly, and the so-called “deal” with One Nation failed as some One Nation preferences actually supported ALP candidates. Similarly, the Nationals were “surprised” as 15 of their 16 lower house seats voted “yes” in the same-sex postal survey.

Barners, bloody Barners.

He sticks his nose into everything on the pond these days ... you'd think as a fellow sometime Tamworthian he'd just bugger off and take his licks from John Hewson in Joyce doesn't deserve to be deputy PM ...

While Joyce is often hailed as “the best retail politician in Australia”, he is just as spectacularly accident prone – recall the Gina Rinehart cheque; recall also that he was actually ineligible to serve in Parliament, having not renounced his New Zealand citizenship, and then compounded the “farce” by remaining in cabinet, having forced Matt Canavan to stand aside from his portfolio, while under consideration by the High Court. 
There was also Barnaby’s “train wreck interview” about the government’s release of private information; the “forced” resignation of Paul Grimes as secretary of his department; his failure to release the cost/benefit analysis of moving the Australian Pests and Veterinary Medicines Authority to his electorate; his inconsistency on the value of wind farms, praised in his electorate, but attacked in South Australia; his support for a banking royal commission against government policy; and a host of others.
And then, his most significant and revealing “accident” of all, the moral issue aside, his total mismanagement of his marriage breakdown, and the subsequent questioning of him as to whether he had breached the Ministerial Code of Conduct, and parliamentary disclosure requirements. This revealed an appalling series of poor judgments.

Barners, Barners, preaching traditional marriage and doing the other, while the churchies blather about living according to conscience, which turns out to mean fiddling with the children in their trust ...

Oh enough already, it's time to wrap things up, perhaps with a few old vaguely related TT cartoons, with fresher TT here ...




Oh heck, the pond can't resist the latest one ...



Saturday, February 17, 2018

In which the reptiles do a Daily Mail ...

The pond is much amused by, and hugely enjoying, the reptiles' paywall activities of late ...

Take this story, holding up the gold bar as a ransom demand  ...


Google it and you end up with this ...


Click on it, and you hit the paywall ...

That's right, the reptiles are paywalling a report that they lifted from the New Yorker ... as if it's impossible to click on the story at source ...


The pond happens to pay money to the New Yorker for access, but as it is, it's currently outside the paywall here ... and what an entertaining read it is too ... and if it ducks behind the paywall again, why not pay to access that source? The database of back catalogue stories is extensive and easy to search ...

Foolish, foolish reptiles ... they started off with a ransom demand, and here's the pond promoting a different brand ...

And now as this is just a short bit of fun, here's a Donald cartoon or three ...





In which Polonius saves the day and turns the pond away from Barners into the path of righteousness ...



Oh how they snidely sniggered ... oh how they chortled with calumnious joy ... actual documentary evidence discovered and recorded by the pond ...

Realising the vast extent of the conspiracy - aye Jim lad, it's off to hellfire and damnation for you, and lickety-split too - the pond immediately put in call to brave Catholic warrior, prattling Polonius, who routinely looks like the prune and bran diet isn't working ...


Thank the long absent lord for prattling Polonius.

At last a chance to take a stand against the Barners situation, at last a chance to smite mightily the wretched Fairfaxians and the vile cardigan wearers at the ABC, all heathens and heretics and socialists and destined to an eternity of hellfire for their secularist, sectarian ways ...

Remember when it comes to defending the tykes, Polonius is the pond's man ...


Now there's an important point, just there in that google splash. It's not just the Catholics that accumulate wealth compulsively, the Jews do it too ...

The bloody Jews! They probably run the international banking system and are possibly reptilian. 

And then there are the tele-evangelicals and the likes of Donald Trump and many other non-government organisations that obsessively accumulate wealth, and what's wrong with that ...

And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

Oh dear, silly billy, that's just about people, it's got nothing to do with institutions ...

And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? 
And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments. 
He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, 
Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 
The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet? Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. 
But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions. Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. 
And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 
When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved? 
But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. 
Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore? 
And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 
And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.

Forsake land and the best plot at the top of the hill?

Phew lucky that only applies to people, and certainly not to glorious institutions of the Catholic kind ...

Remember, it's property, property, property ... and now let Polonius explain and defend in the unique way that only Polonius can ...



Oh it's true, it's true.

Damn you atheistic heretical secularist cardigan wearers, damn you all to eternal hellfire, and may there be a special place reserved - with extra roasting facilities - for those wretched Age infidels, Royce Millar, Ben Schneiders and Chris Vedelago, who scribbled Catholic Inc. What the Church is really worth ... and dared to point out ...

The Catholic Church in Victoria is worth more than $9 billion, making it the biggest non-government property owner in the state and much wealthier than it has admitted in evidence to major inquiries into child sexual abuse. A six-month investigation by The Age has found that the church misled the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse by grossly undervaluing its property portfolio while claiming that increased payments to abuse survivors would likely require cuts to its social programs. Figures extrapolated from a huge volume of Victorian council valuation data show the church has more than $30 billion in property and other assets, Australia wide.

Shocking, but is it true?

That doesn't matter, simply speaking a word against the church is heretical, secularist, sectarian, deeply divisive, hurtful, intrusive, possibly Marxist,  and most upsetting to prattling Polonius.

Oh how the bigotry rattles down the ages, and after all, where's the harm in accumulating lots of property and fiddling with a few kids and then protecting the assets?

WJWD? He'd make sure there was no way he could be sued ... that's WJWD ... and maybe diversify into stocks and bonds ...

Sure enough those heathers and barbarians at the ABC picked up the chant with Catholic Church national wealth estimated to be $30 billion, investigation finds and it's just so damned unfair ...

Has anyone ever thought of the enormous drycleaning bill for keeping the frocks in good shape?


Please allow Polonius to explain the grotesque unfairness of it all ... look, see how shameless they were...


Tell 'em Polonius, go 'em ...



He what? He used "Jesuitical" in a negative way? Has the man never opened a dictionary, or looked the word up here?


What's wrong with being crafty, sly, intriguing, practicing equivocation, or being a little furtive about your wealth? Next thing you know, people might be wondering why the taxpayer supports all sorts of activities, and even dare to think that churches running enterprises under the cloak of religion could do with a little taxation ...

As for that talk of the generosity of Catholic laity who supported the provision of education, it reminded the pond of the times that the parents would return from church in tears for not having paid enough to the church, and likely to spend an eternity in hellfire if they didn't change their ways.

At the time we were as poor as church mice in the Irish Catholic way, and the pond can still remember the shame at not being able to afford a pair of mandated gym shoes, and being made by the teacher to hit the jump board barefoot ... and collecting a splinter as a suitable punishment, and a warning of the hellfires to follow ...

Ah the good old days of the Ponzi scheme shakedown ...

And now what's the bet that Polonius will lead with that ancient withered elf, perhaps the father of Jeff Sessions, the immortal loon Malcolm Muggeridge, boasting how Xians run charities ... while failing to mention that it's secularists who frequently dip into their purses, courtesy of taxing governments, to offer benevolent cash in the paw support for such activities?



Indeed, indeed, and throughout the whole shabby, grubby affair, the Catholic church has behaved in an impeccable way and without the slightest thought for protecting its wealth and its assets ... though perhaps only a deluded Catholic true believer still fearing hellfire might argue that case ...

But that's the way it goes for hypocrites, charlatans and rogues, frequently in conversation with imaginary powerful friends, while forgetting, overlooking, ignoring, twisting or making over what was actually said by said imaginary friends ...

You know, like the humbugs who talk about the wonders of traditional marriage, then go off and fornicate in an adulterous way like rats in heat, forgetting the fourteenth line in Exodus 20:

[14] Thou shalt not commit adultery. (The full list, which runs more than ten, here. Watch out for the polluting hewn stone!).

Oh sheesh, how did Barners get back into it?

Never mind, if Barners is back, that's enough of a Saturday meditation, which should have turned up on Sunday, and if we're speaking of charities, why not bring in the Donald too, that fine Xian president, with a few recent cartoons?





In which Rome falls and Visigoths and Huns roam Peel street, and even venture over to Westies ...

 
 

The pond's exhausted; the poor reptiles look exhausted too, what with the unceasing, unrelenting uproar in the herpetarium ...

Was it only yesterday that Shanners was hinting at war?


Only a day and the war has come ...


Everybody and his dog was in on the fight, like a couple of shearers who'd stepped out the back of the now world-renowned Maguires ... and no one was safe, as our Gracie gave Junie the what for ...


That take Junie. And look, there's the oscillating fan spinning wildly in the wind ...


Shanners chipped in with more ...


And the dog botherer and the Overington were at the top of the opinion page ...


Did someone mention Tamworth? 

Of course they did, this is heartland stuff, and the pond is from the heartland, so of course it must pay heed, of course it must be distracted ...

Sure Polonius did his best to distract by having a laugh at Malware the puritan ...


... but this is Tamworth, once centre of the known universe. 

Now the barbarians are at the gates, the hordes are rampaging through the streets. Can someone, anyone, understand that this is now so dire that it feels like the very last days of Rome?

The pond is so glad you asked. Come on down nattering "Ned", show us your hysteria ...


Reeks of the last days of Rome! Civil war! 

And never mind that the last days of Rome didn't actually involve civil war!

Still, as the pond noted recently, things are really grim when nattering "Ned" Kelly runs out of words ... and today he ran out again ...

Instead of reams of tree-killer musings, Ned kept it short ...with only a par of history lessons!


Thank the long absent lord the reptiles found room for the CV! Rome might have fallen, the barbarians might be in charge, but keep the CV polished. You never know when the next emperor might need a little help ...

But it left the pond feeling more-ish, in the sense of hunger rather than invaders of Spain, so naturally the pond turned to the dog botherer ... and naturally the dog botherer nipped at the heel of his one-time master ...


Oh come now, it's not that bad, surely ...


Hmm, that's a truck nuts (or if you will tuck balls, bumper nuts, bumper balls, cargo nads, drive-thru danglers, trucksticles, hitchnuggets, highway hangers or bumper bollocks) image too far, thanks to Rowe and with more Rowe here ...

The knackery really might be calling, as the dog botherer calls for the sort of planning that made the Iraq war and the Utegate saga such stunning successes ...


Well yes, but this is the Malware who has delivered a totally fucked up NBN to the nation... planning, what's that?

And now to the final gobbet, and a sure sign that the reptiles themselves are in turmoil ...


Forget that talk of Barners as a kind of sunspot cancer ... the pond left those ringlets at the bottom for a purpose.

You see, the reptiles left off the dog botherer's CV ... the short two liner that tells you the dog botherer takes an unashamedly rationalist approach to national affairs ...

The one that reminds you that it's unashamedly rationalist to be a dinkum Oz coal lover, oi, oi, oi, and a widely acclaimed expert climate denialist of the first water ... the one that blathers of "climate change indulgences" as if science was some kind of medieval Catholic form of spiritual blackmail ...

They left it off? Yes, it's the last days of Rome, it's civil war, the barbarians are at the gates, it's a catastrophe, a disaster ...etc etc etc ...

You see, there's still much coal loving to do, and climate science to deny, and there's Barners, always stepping into a cow pat ...

Well the pond is over it, the pond is over the ruination of Tamworth, when it's much more important to get on with ruining the world (and Iraq if you've got a spare moment) ..

No wonder there's 8,000 plus, and more joining by the moment, signing the petition for Barners to go ...

Mother of mercy, could this be the end of little Barners? 

How is that fair, with him having done so much to snatch back attention, away from the Donald and his romp with a porn star?

Remember, just say no ...


Oh yes, that'll do nicely, with more papal pleasures here ... as the pond swears that with an ounce of luck, the next post will have nothing whatsoever to do with Barners ...



Friday, February 16, 2018

In which the pond abandons the reptiles and goes in search of a TGIF laugh ...


Fear not. The pond isn't going to take a look at scintillating Sharri doing over Barners one more time ...

There are a number of reasons. First the Terrorists have become very keen on a Times-style paywall, and the pond is inordinately pleased, and has taken this as a personal compliment. 

The reptiles have gone to all this trouble just to stop the pond, with its gnat-like number of hits?

Steady. It's easy to get swept up by delusions of grandeur and imagine that the reptiles have taken this stand as a direct riposte to the pond ... but the reality's a little more obvious, as noted a few days ago in Crikey ...


You'll have to access Crikey for that hot link and the rest of the story, but the point's obvious enough ... the reptiles are in a world of pain.

It's all the weirder then that news.com.au still keeps on giving away the family jewels for free ... do the reptiles really think this bait and switch strategy is working?

And besides, the pond can only take so many bouts with Barners and the reptiles on any given day. 

It's worse than a Tamworth Paleo diet ... kill the 'roo, eat the lapin in a red wine sauce ...feast on Barners beef jerky ...

The pond likes to vary its diet and lately on a Friday, it's taken to hanging out with the Speccie crowd ... and there's usually some prime example of extremely aged wagyu dangling on the vine ... or perhaps clutching a medal ...


The pond was startled.

Had Giles at long last found the Order of Lenin medal that had haunted the Major Mitchell for so long? 

On a dark night, checked out with fogged glasses, that might be the sort of thing Manning Clark was caught wearing by the Major's spies ...

Was Giles holding it up as a way of reassuring the parrot, who has also ducked behind the paywall ... but still cops jokes from the likes of Guy Rundle ...


Sheesh, there's the pond still carrying on about the reptiles, when Giles is waiting to carry on about the neo-Marxists that plague the land ... nay, the entire world ...


Oh why, oh y ...

You could bottle this distilled essence of grumpy old men shouting at clouds, and make a fortune selling it as "Dr. Pond's miracle cure for a laugh a day" ...

This is just the sort of stuff the pond needs for a TGIF ... distilled essence of paranoia, lavish servings of meandering memories, a certain braying solemnity and an incipient hysteria, and above all, a complete absence of humour, irony or any form of self-awareness ...


Grants? What does that tell us about the teat-sucking attitude of our Giles, down there with the Caterists? 

Where's the entrepreneurial spirit, where's the going out in the wilderness on your own to carve a civilisation by snatching it away from the heathens and the primitives and lesser folk?

As for good old Percy being Australia's best composer, does that come with a free whip, a love of Nordics and a deep mother fixation?

  

There's a good tour of the flagellation section of Percy's museum here ... while the place itself is worth a visit if out Royal Parade way... remember to hum a tune about country gardens while giving one of the whips a go ...

As for Streeton v. Nolan, all that confirms is that poor old Giles is lost somewhere in the 1950s or perhaps the 1960s, and is unlikely to return soon ...

And now please remember to capitalise things, and mock girlies who stay in dorms at boarding schools ... just so you can get that vintage mindset flowering ...


God? God willing? Inshallah? Has he turned Islamic terrorist?

Like those delusionals, he's still talking with his imaginary friend? 

But what if She takes a view about all this talk of war and battles and such like stuff?

What's old Giles got against knitting? What if She happens to like knitting?

Never mind, the pond went in search of comedy, and by golly it found it, along with the news that painting seems to have shuddered to a halt by the nineteenth century ...

And what about that moan about all the state-funding, while moaning about the way that Quadrant didn't score state-funding?

Not to worry, here's an artist's impression of Giles haunted by post-modernist Marxists ...



Well that's a good enough excuse to end with a Rowe, celebrating a most peculiar form of trickle down, with more trickling Rowe here ...