In which the pond performs the usual Monday rituals with the Major, the freedumb loving Caterist and the Oreo ...

 

 

Because the pond favours its reptile pets, it often misses out on the demonic fears that plague the rest of the reptiles, and this day there's a new coal-hating Satanist in town ...

 

 

 

 

Top of the demonic targets in lizard la la land ma, though it's a tad ironic to be abusing him as a rich lister, what with the reptiles being owned, lock stock and barrel, in hearts and minds and souls, by corrupt rich listers of the worst kind ...

Still, that demonic fear carried on into the digital edition ... 

 

 

Oh dear, and as well as the rich lister, there was an assassination attempt on the Queen by the son and heir, a depressive Glasgow (have some hooch, laddie), and a warning about freedumb lovers ...

The pond will get to the kill-threat protestors in a bit, but first further credit to Cannon-Brookes for also being first cab off the rank in the comments section ...

 

 

 

By golly, they wheeled out an associate editor to deal with the pesky, difficult varmint ... and as usual the immortal Rowe was up there, riding the reptile wave, with more wave-riding here ...

 

Well, that's enough of that, and the pond feels exhausted even before it's begun its survey of the reptiles on a Monday.

Before taking marching orders from the Major, the pond should just note that if you want a real survey of the meejia, remember there's also the Weekly Beast, and last Friday featured a splendid turn by simplistic Sharri. 

And why does that matter? Well the University of Melbourne has deemed her a suitable inspiration and mentor for aspiring journalist students, and that's as good a reason as any for the planet to be comprehensively fucked...

And so to the Major, and it being election season, the Major is fully on board with that truly horrible, horrible man and if not a complete psycho, then a deluded speaker in tongues who thinks the rapture, or possibly a new crusade, is just around the corner ...

 

 

Good old Major. Actually many reporters spent last week explaining how stupid all the blather about Manchurian candidates was, and how it might produce blowback, but how good of the Major to also remind us that all that talk of sexual shenanigans and bullying in parliament house was just a fever dream. No wonder he's had trouble locating that Order of Lenin medal, despite decades of searching ...

 

 

Uh huh, but the Major is always fair, which is to say he'll cherrypick a few examples on the other side, and ignore the whoppers, like the dance of joy the reptiles did about the free trade agreement with China, a dubious proposition even at the time ...

 

 

Actually, allowing for the fact that a careful read by the Major is a bit like being given a careful hearing by a Jesuit, The Mandarin had a succinct summary of how things stood ...

 

 

Even poor old Jimbo Paterson of the IPA had to do a dance on the head of a pin on the weekend (Nine on the dancing) ...

Liberal senator and head of the Parliament’s security and intelligence committee, James Paterson, says both sides of politics should listen to the warnings of the nation’s domestic spy agency about the dangers of referring to classified information in public.
Senator Paterson said he had “listened very carefully” to ASIO director-general Mike Burgess’ warning last week and both major parties should take it seriously, but he declined to criticise Defence Minister Peter Dutton’s comments in attacking the Labor Party.

Senator Paterson said he didn’t want to criticise either member of Parliament, but he had taken Mr Burgess’ warning seriously.
“I listened very carefully to the words that Mike Burgess uttered on 7.30 last week … and I take his warning very seriously,” Senator Paterson told the ABC’s Insiders program on Sunday morning.
“I think there’d been a range of references to classified material both in the Parliament and in the media from a range of sources and we should be very mindful of the warning that he makes – and I understand why he has that anxiety as an ASIO director-general.”
“I’m not being critical of either Kimberley Kitching or Peter Dutton. They are individual members of Parliament who are exercising their own judgment and there’s a very good reason why the Parliament has privilege and we can speak freely in the Parliament.”
Senator Paterson also said he wouldn’t apologise for criticising Mr Richardson, one of the most experienced former public servants in Australian history, but conceded he could have slightly changed his wording...

Good one pinhead dancer and your IPA training has stood you in good stead ... and so to finish off the Major ...

 

Reptiles in glass houses? They always make sure they've got plenty of rocks handy, and why not store them in head? As good a place as any ...

And now remember that item the pond noted a little earlier?

What better way to introduce the Caterist for the day, crying freedumb ...

 

Indeed, indeed, the pond has a deep-rooted fear of unclean Caterists, and when a filthy-minded Caterist full of filthy thoughts hovers into view, the pond is filled with a deep anxiety ... compounded not so much by fear as by loathing ... because the notion that a man who couldn't even work out the route of flood waters in quarries is up to the task of challenging conventional wisdom is taking freedumb to an astonishing new level of Qupidity ...

 

Ah that mention of woke ... the pond knew this item in the Graudian in the weekend would come in handy ...

 

 

Sorry, sorry, the pond found that more amusing than the Caterist and Uhlmann celebrating freedumb ... but luckily there's only a gobbet to go, because there's only so much freedumb the pond can take from fuckwits of the first water ...

 

Ah, PJ. He also warned about the mango Mussolini, and said if necessary he'd vote for Hillary, but once a cherrypicking nitwitted fuckwit, always one, hey cash in the paw from the federal government Mr Freedumb fighter? 

You know, as a disarmed, exhausted, population watches and acquiesces as the Menzies Research Centre trousers government grants on an annual basis ...

And now the pond realises it's long overstayed its welcome, but it must attend to the thoughts of the reformed, recovering feminist ...

 

So the wretched Malware is being wheeled out as cover, and the reformed, recovering feminist is all in on SloMo? Well that's what happens when you go from feminist to weirdo, in much the same way as Stalin lover can turn mango Mussolini devotee ... or an atheist fall into the embrace of the Jesuits ...

 

 

And so the pond owes an apology to any stray reader who made it this far. The pond usually is assiduous in trimming out any reptile cartoon that might leak into the pond, if only because of the potential of damaging the eyes, or inducing a foaming at the mouth ...

Still it's done, and the pond can at least promise a different kind of cartooning after the final gobbet ...

The Manchurian candidate is a ridiculous sledge, and yet the reformed, recovering feminist can say with a straight face that the Labor party venerates Mao Zedong? 

That was long ago, and in another country, and the squatter was just as devout ...

Australia's love affair with China reached ridiculous lengths following Mao's death on September 9, 1976. Fraser said Mao had "achieved peace internally" for China. Not to be outdone, Whitlam maintained Mao had been held in "veneration" by his people and declared he had brought "internal stability" to China. These statements were made after the appallingly misnamed Great Leap Forward (1958-62), in which about 40 million died due to Mao's forced famine and after the Cultural Revolution (1965-76), in which about 3 million were killed and a staggering 100 million were persecuted.
Then the unreality became more unreal. On September 14, 1976, Fraser moved a condolence motion expressing the Parliament's "sincere regret at the death of Chairman Mao", supported by Doug Anthony (National Party) and senior Labor MPs Whitlam, Tom Uren, Mick Young and Bill Hayden. Only Liberal backbencher Bill Wentworth spoke up against the travesty. And he - with Kevin Cairns (Liberal), Col Carige (National) and Dick Klugman (ALP) - walked out of the House of Representatives before the vote was taken. (Nine)

It's good to remember the past, or next thing you might be joining a fuckwitted reformed, recovering feminist in forgetting about that squatter from the western districts, a world away from poverty, and no innocent abroad, and yet starry-eyed all the same ...

And now to redeem that reptile cartoon that leaked into the pond, and luckily the pond had saved an infallible Pope from the weekend as a peace offering ...