Sunday, May 26, 2024

In which the pond is left with just Polonius and the Ughman ... enough about the genocide already ...

 

The pond is going through a peak period of ennui induced by reptile overload, and so won't be featuring Dame Slap on the ICC or any of the other reptiles rabbiting on in defence of genocide, or attacking courts for daring to notice the genocide ...

There was enough of that yesterday, and it means that there are so many things that slip through the reptile net ... and things will only get worse if they go down the AI rabbit hole even more ...

Funniest line of the week comes from T.J. Thomson and James Meese in The Conversation, deep into What OpenAI’s deal with News Corp means for journalism (and for you).

Where you get your news matters. More people may use AI services for news in the future, but right now it is an underwhelming source of reliable information. Signing content-sharing agreements with companies like News Corp may help improve the quality of answers and increase the relevance of ChatGPT outputs for Australian users.

Thank the long absent lord they slipped in a "may". If News Corp is the solution to AI, or AI the solution to News Corp, then we may all be on the fast track to hell ..

The pond rarely drops in on Axios, but there was this yarn, Google's AI summaries cause headaches and spawn memes:

The blowback to Google's AI Overviews is growing now that they are showing up for all U.S. users — and sometimes getting things glaringly wrong.

Why it matters: The search giant's addition of AI-generated summaries to the top of search results could fundamentally reshape what's available on the internet and who profits from it.

  • Many users habitually use Google searches to check facts, particularly now that AI chatbots deliver sometimes suspect answers. Now these search results are subject to the same mistakes and "hallucinations" that plague the chatbots.

Driving the news: Google last week announced that it was making AI-generated summaries the default experience in the U.S. for many search queries.

  • People quickly began highlighting scores of glaring errors, from dangerously incorrect advice on what to do if bitten by a rattlesnake to a summary that had Google's AI suggesting it has kids and serving up their favorite recipe.
  • Google seemed to have particular trouble with data about U.S. presidents, getting wrong how many presidents there have been — and, more troublingly, repeating the baseless conspiracy theory that President Obama is Muslim.
  • In another well-publicized example, Google's summary suggested using glue to keep cheese on pizza — a comical notion seemingly taken from a Reddit post.
  • Adding to the problems, AI has a hard time distinguishing fact from satire, leading Google's summaries to state The Onion content as fact, as highlighted in this thread by the site's new CEO.

The story provided a link, but the pictures at the link tell the story ...teh Onion and teh Google, and teh Google using AI to channel teh Onion ...






The good news is that you can turn off the AI if you like. 

As usual, there are stories about how to do it all over the full to overflowing intertubes ... as in this story in The Verge, You can get rid of AI Overviews in Google Search ...

Of course you might just prefer to use a different search engine, just as you might prefer to take your daily intake of reptiles by leaving them to lurk behind their paywall, and sampling them via the pond.

The trouble is that the reptiles, and so the sample, are getting increasingly narrow.

For example,  the pond was entranced to watch live Rish! call the election, emerging into the rain without umbrella, or without aide with umbrella, and at the end scampering back inside like an almost drowned mole fresh out of Wind in the Willows ...

You won't find the reptiles paying attention, you'll have to read the likes of Marinda Hyde in full Hydeing mode ...Sunak seems convinced that Who Dares Wins. Spoiler alert: sometimes they lose really badly

A drowned-rat PM, a blank page contender and a frit Farage refusing to stand – all in the first 48 hours. Are you not entertained?

Well yes, the pond was vastly entertained, and this added to the entertainment ...

... please note, we’re already into the phase of election berserkery in which you can always find a sympathetic party thinker to tell you that, actually, the bad thing you just saw with your own eyes will play so, so well where it matters. “Rishi did not look like someone who is ready to compromise, and I think that’s really good,” judged the Mail’s Sarah Vine of his election announcement. “I thought his vibe was really good.” Mm-hm.
Literally no obvious setback is resistant to this treatment. Word of advice, and sorry if I sound like Lee Twatwater: if you are ever in a position where you’re explaining that, actually, there are election points and respect to be earned from looking sad and droning on while your Gentleminion suit gets trashed by rain: YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST THAT ELECTION. The prime minister looked like a guy who doesn’t even need to leave a note saying there is no money. Rishi Sunak is waterlogged.
Or, as Michael Gove apparently told him in the emergency cabinet meeting earlier that day: “Who dares wins. You dared, and you will win.” Collectors of moments where Michael Gove just says any old deadpan shit for a laugh are going to have a huge cataloguing exercise on their hands in the coming weeks. I myself have a memory palace full of such treasures, which I plan to open to the public on 5 July.

Then came news that the Govester himself was standing down, as were 78 Tory MPs, beating 1997's record number...

Michael Gove and Andrea Leadsom have joined the now record-breaking exodus of Conservative MPs from the Commons, with the former saying it was time for a “new generation” to lead the party.
Gove’s announcement in a letter tweeted on Friday evening had been anticipated by some given the strong Liberal Democrat challenge he faces in his Surrey Heath constituency, but adds to the sense of Tories fleeing in the face of a likely general election loss.
Leadsom released her own letter shortly after, writing to Sunak: “After careful reflection, I have decided not to stand as a candidate in the forthcoming election.”
It puts the total number of sitting Tories saying they will not stand again at 78, beating the previous record of 72 from 1997.

Is there a solution? A visit to a Titanic museum should fix it ...

All this fun was disappeared to the cornfields by the reptiles, together with news of the trial of the century in New York (thus far) and assorted other marvels, such as zany assassination conspiracy theories coming to a conspiratorial Florida judge ...

To be fair, prattling Polonius did at least know there was an election going down in the UK, but expecting comedy from Polonius is like eating a small rock a day and expecting good health ... or should that be choking on a Marrs bar, as an esteemed correspondent noted...the hated enemy, the √©minence grise given a slot that Polonius was rightfully heir to, and now all that's left is bitterness and ashes in the mouth ...




There was a a snap of the drowned rat ...






.. but it entirely missed the splendour of an astonishing piece of performance art, a kind of Samuel Beckett turn, a steady drip drip into the fully sodden...






“That’s all right, bless you!” responded the Rat cheerily. “What’s a little wet to a Water Rat? I’m more in the water than out of it most days. Don’t you think any more about it; and, look here! I really think you had better come and stop with me for a little time. It’s very plain and rough, you know—not like Toad’s house at all—but you haven’t seen that yet; still, I can make you comfortable. And I’ll teach you to row, and to swim, and you’ll soon be as handy on the water as any of us.”





Completely sodden ... and meanwhile the reptiles had missed the fun and thrown in a video of Albo ...




It was true to Polonial purpose, which was to ignore the intrinsic delights of the British farce, in six weekly acts without benefit of a TV show ...

...the titchy tetchy does say he wants to have no fewer than six TV debates with the Labour leader – one every week. Rishi Sunak Versus Keir Starmer – arguably the least watchable limited series you could possibly come up with. And I watched She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, so that means something.

The situation between the UK and Australia is entirely different, so why make the leap? Even Polonius could see the futility of his scribbles, and spent his time meandering about in the reptile thickets ... you know, Penbo of the south and dense Joe ...




There's a world out there, with things happening ... (NY Times paywall)




...and the pond should ignore these riches and instead be spending its time wondering what constitutes an early election? How much pedantry can a koala bear? 

Blathering on about the calling of an election is the first refuge of the idle reptile scoundrel with nothing much to scribble about, except as a way to parade all the faults and failings of the government ...




How low can Polonius go? When the pond saw a link to Mein Gott, in a matter already covered by the pond, the pond knew it was pretty low ...




All that just to dress up Captain Spud in his finery and do a listicle of government flaws, and yet no mention of the nuking of the country, and yet elsewhere it wasn't hiding in the reptile cornfield ...why even the reptiles had noticed ...






Awkward ..




The pond was so irritated that it turned to the Ughman simply because he was taking a note of the war in Ukraine.

This should be the bromancer's turf, but he was off ranting about the ICC and the ICJ and the need to maintain the genocide, as he seems to be doing on a daily basis ...

If the bromancer had been tending to his pastoral duties, the pond could have had a good chuckle about the great wafer fight of '24, a bit like the great food fight that 6th class staged as its end of year farewell to Tamworth Primary, and then trotted off to high school in complete disgrace ...




You see? There's all sorts of fun out there, and instead the pond must deal with the Ughman, even though the pond agrees with him when it comes to dealing with Vlad the sociopath ...





Well yes, but why is it left to a recent reptile blow-in to pay attention? Why have the bulk of the reptiles abandoned the fight?




Europe v. Russia is a local war?





At this point the reptiles interrupted the Ughman with a couple of badly lit snaps ...





Meanwhile, the Ughman serves only to remind the pond of the isolationism and the rabid genocide fixation of the bulk of the reptile pack ...




Uh huh, but if the pond wanted an update on the actual state of the war, it would be better off at the Graudian with its listicle of proceedings headed by Ukraine war briefing: US-supplied glide bombs struggle against Russian jamming ...

When it's not being banned by Israel, Al Jazeera runs a list of events ...






And so on and on, as Vlad the sociopath goes on about his murderous business.

Where are the daily reports in the lizard Oz?

All we get is the Ughman blathering on about how he visited in October...

It's not as if this hasn't been brewing for a long time in Faux Noise GOP world ...




That came from 2022 and nothing much has changed ...



Tell that to the lizard Oz editorial team. If the reptiles embrace AI, the pond can imagine the headline: Eat a beetroot a day to end the war in Ukraine...

Meanwhile, the pond keeps missing out on the best moments ...





Still,  there's another election brewing, fastidiously, studiously ignored by Polonius and it promises all the fun of the fair, or a Kubrick movie or perhaps a movie about The Apprentice ...







Saturday, May 25, 2024

In which the reptile Titanic serenely floats on, with contributions from "Ned", the dog botherer and the bromancer ...

 

As esteemed correspondents have noted, there's much excitement at the visit by furriners to the belly of the local beast to remind the peasants that they work for furriners.

The thing that excited the pond was the report on the Louis XIV component as the elegant visitors reminded the peasants of their place in the scheme of things ...

...denizens of the building – who would have seen some things in their time – have been agog to see Brooks getting around the building completely empty-handed, not even clutching a phone, although that might be understandable in the circumstances.
All her gear is being carted by an assistant, flown in from the UK, who trails the executive carrying a white leather Hermes Birkin handbag. As some of our readers will no doubt know, these start at $12,000, can set you back up to $200,000, and are only offered to select VIP-tier customers of the luxury brand.
So it’ll be some comfort to the company’s foot soldiers, who have good reason to fear for their jobs – with News’ tabloids reportedly in the gun – that Murdoch family favourites will live their best lives, come what may. (Nine)

And there was this one liner ...

The key executives stayed at the luxury Capella Sydney hotel near Circular Quay. (Nine)

Now that's not a shabby joint from which to pull the peasants into line. That yarn ended with this ...

“We’ve written to the company asking for consultation,” Media, Entertainment and Arts Alliance director Michelle Rae said. “MEAA is concerned about a restructure and what that might look like for editorial staff.”

Good luck, and then came this ...

News Corp’s Australasian boss Michael Miller will address the National Press Club next month on the topic of “Australia and global tech: time for a reset”.
He is expected to continue the company’s strident campaign around social media and holding global tech platforms including Meta, owner of Facebook and Instagram, to account.
This week, the company secured a significant deal with ChatGPT’s parent company, OpenAI.
The agreement will let OpenAI use content from more than a dozen of News Corp’s publications for its generative AI products.

AI as the solution to social media?! Only in reptile la la land ...

Of course the venerable Meade was on the case in the Graudian ... as the peasants tried to impress the visiting royalty ,,,

..On Monday the Australian’s editor-in-chief, Michelle Gunn, claimed to have a bigger readership than both the Sydney Morning Herald and the Age – and boasting that the reason for this triumph is “The Australian’s contest of ideas”.
“The Australian’s weekday and weekend readerships now outstrip those of both The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age, as the national masthead continues to grow its audiences while the Nine-owned metro titles shed thousands of readers each month,” a report by media editor James Madden said.
Gunn: “The latest readership figures reflect Australians’ hunger for quality journalism and incisive analysis inturbulent times and cement our masthead’s position at the heart of the national conversation.”
But wait. According to Nine’s reporting of the same Roy Morgan survey, the Sydney Morning Herald is the country’s most-read masthead: with a cross-platform readership of 7.3 million. The Age has readership of 4.7 million. Under another digital only measure, Ipsos rankings for the Top 20 news websites, The Australian had 4,091,000 readers in April while the SMH had more than double that at 8,268,000.
We asked Gunn what the paper meant by the story and a spokesperson clarified that it referred to print only. It would have been nice to tell the readers that.
Circulation used to be the way we tracked the success of newspapers but that was quietly ditched when news went digital and now the metric of “readership” is used, a far less scientific method in which people are surveyed about what they read.

Contest of ideas? So that's what they call the bubble-wrapped hive mind these days. 

And then came a plaintive note ...

The ABC’s veteran digital strategist Craig McCosker said: “If ChatGPT is using News Corp content to ground its answers it will be interesting to see how it answers topical questions about the ABC.”
And the University of Sydney AI and ethics researcher Rebecca Johnson said the deal could create increased polarisation.
“When you train a model, it picks up the embedded values, morals, world views, ideologies and cultural traits that are prominent in the training data,” she told the New Daily.

Forget the suffering of the ABC, think of climate science, and just about every other barking mad far right talking point, except when it becomes to embarrassing matters. which must be erased from the memory banks of the hive mind (think the trial of the century - thus far - or Rish! and his mighty struggle, upside down flags, white Xian nationalist flags featuring pine trees, the new Reich, the right to use contraceptives, yadda yadda).

Thankfully there was no sign of this turmoil in the lizard Oz, which sailed on majestically, completely oblivious to inhouse matters, and featuring the usual suspects ...




As the pond suspected, talk of the ICC dominated proceedings, with all hands on deck to defend the genocide ...




There was really nothing the pond could do but go with the flow ... though at least it could ignore Josh and Dame Slap and instead turn to that gigantic bore "Ned", given the difficult task of how the reptiles got to where they are ... 

It was Little Johnny and the stocking and high heels man from the south wot done it ...




The good news is that it's so embarrassing that they had to pack "Ned" full of videos and "Ned" himself was remarkably short about his business ...







Video clips out of the way, it was time to do a little historical revisionism, with a search for suspects to blame ...




Indeed, indeed, it was essential that the right of the United States to roam the planet committing war crimes be protected... and what if a client state be run by a pack of barking mad fundamentalists intent on war crimes and genocide? Of course they needed protection ...




Bloody Ninian Stephen. It was all his fault. The bloody wretch even had the cheek to sit on an international tribunal to judge war crimes in the former Yugoslavia and events in Rwanda (obit).

As if anybody had the right to pass comment on war crimes or interfere in a legitimate internal genocide ...

Shocking, shameful, and now the chooks have come home to roost, and "Ned" was so dismayed he could only manage a final gobbet ...




Well the pond promised it would be short, a rarity for "Ned" and concluding with the high comedy of the stockings and high heels man feeling betrayed ... and wanting to flounce out of the room. If only he'd stayed in that bar listening to tales of conspiracies afoot ...

And so to the dog botherer, who offered up his standard Saturday rant, with a slight skew to supporting the current genocide ...




Take note of that mention of climate change and the effect of heat emanating from footpaths. The dog botherer loved it ...

Meanwhile there were any number of illustrations - how soon can AI come to jazz up the reptile offerings? - and as usual the pond lumped them. altogether but felt the need to at least note the efforts of the long lost graphics department ...







Phew, so much visual padding, but they do match the verbal padding ...




In this listicle of thought crimes, the pond couldn't help but notice a black hole, a missing item ... the need to nuke the country to save the planet ...

Usually such talk would be front and centre of a dog botherer screed, but not today ... no hammering of climate science hovered into view ...




All standard, pro forma stuff, as if bag-blessed Bekky had never landed and told the reptiles to lift their game ... instead there was just more bog standard bagging by the dog botherer ...




At this point there were just two gobbets to go, and the dog botherer still hadn't really tackled the salvation of the planet by Captain Spud nuking assorted electorates ...




Oh he has the courage of his convictions, but shush, no mention of nuking the country ...




You see? There he goes again, repeating himself, and again drawing attention to the dire threat of climate change and its impact on temperatures and hot footpaths, yet nary a word of the way that nuking the country will help save paddle pops ...

Oh dear, the dog botherer must lift his game, or Bekky will get him with her bag ...

And so to the bromancer, doing a "Ned". 

On past occasions, the pond has spent some time reporting on the actual genocide currently going down, but the bromancer's outing is so long that it will be sufficient to report on his thoughts ...





Now the pond should note as a teaser that the talk of Benji will lead to a gigantic billy goat butt, dressed up as an "of course", but it will take some time to get there ...

In the meantime there were an inordinate number of snaps and a video clip to note and get out of the way...






Then it was on with the hysteria, not about the genocide of course, but the bizarre notion of noting the genocide and condemning it ...

This might be best done by introducing an Iranian shibboleth to terrify the aged demographic ...




The pond has no time for theocrats, whether in Israel, Iran or the United States - death by chopper is but one way to sort out the problem - but always finds it marvellous the way that Israel's theocratic ways are forgiven or forgotten ...as George Orwell might have said, some theocrats good, some theocrats bad ...and as a wannabe theocratic tyke, the bromancer knows whereof he scribbles ...





Well yes, but why no mention of the fate of Palestinians/Arabs in theocratic Israel? Never mind, on we go with a very big and grand gobbet ...




Yep, as a tyke in good standing, the bromancer knows whereof he speaks ... who has been better at anti-Semitism than the Catholic church?

Of course there is a slight problem whenever it turns up as a final irrefutable argument ...






... but the pond had promised not to interrupt too much, just to get the job done ...




The pond can't help but note the irony that right next to "Ned" in the digital edition there came a report ...




Sheesh, not the ICJ too ... shocking really. Fancy wanting to stop the destruction of Rafah, just when the genocide was reaching a peak ...it'll be ignored of course, that's what theocrats do ...

Meanwhile, stripped of his snaps, the bromancer had been reduced to spluttering short gobbets ...





Naturally the pond helped out by filling in with a little more from that report on the ICJ ruling ...




Oh dear and then came perhaps the shortest gobbet of bro hysteria on record, and the bro really did produce a wondrous word jelly in it ... though some might quibble and quiver and wonder whatever happened to "blancmanage" as a term of abuse ....




More praise for Captain Spud - the bro and the dog botherer singing in harmony - and yet that other story about the ICJ ruling kept on giving ...




Uh huh, and that led the bromancer to the foreshadowed gigantic billy goat butt, or if you will, an astonishing bromancer "of course"... buttressed of course by a defence of a barking mad fundamentalist genocidal regime ...

Amazingly, the bro managed to toss aside all that he'd scribbled to offer up alleged "great criticism" ... is it possible to have peak comedy in the middle of a genocide?





The pond has had more than enough to say on Israel's judicial system, and the way it has licensed terrorism and expansionism on the West Bank, not to mention the degradation of second class citizens within Israel proper, and will only pause to note that talk of "old liberal international ideals" was once upon a time supposed to be the work of "cosmopolitans" ...

It's enough to know where those ideals have gone ...







And so to the final gobbet, and what a relief to reach the end ... and the pond won't even bite on the way that yet again a reptile manages to ignore the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin by a barking mad Zionist fundamentalist ...




Really? Haven't we already attempted our own genocide, and did particularly well at in Tasmania?

Never mind, it's just the usual bromancer paranoia about the world coming to get him - as it should given his madness - and so to end, please allow the pond an indulgence, with one last cartoon that seems to sum up the point of it all ...