In which only the bromancer in a state of terror, and Jennie nuking renewables made the cut ...

The saga of comrade Dan living rent free in the hive mind of the lizard Oz continued apace this day ... just look at him glowering away in a fabulous collage which had the pond calling out "artiste, artiste", only for no one to be credited ...

For those that might care ...

INSIDE STORY
‘C-bombs, f-bombs and secrets’: the deal that landed Andrews and Marshall in IBAC
Intercepted phone calls, text messages and secret hotel meetings … here’s how IBAC tracked Dan Andrews and Peter Marshall.
By Damon Johnston

DAMNING VERDICT
‘Intolerable’ stench of Dan Andrews pollutes new Victorian Premier
As Daniel Andrews insists he has been vindicated, Victorian Premier Ben Carroll has labelled his predecessor’s conduct ‘intolerable’ and pledged sweeping integrity reforms following IBAC’s eight-year investigation.
By Damon Johnston, Anthony Galloway and Lily McCaffrey

How could petulant Peta resist howling at the moon? 

How the reptiles yearn for at least one state election victory ...

COMMENTARY by PETA CREDLIN
State Labor’s integrity crisis deepens
Victoria’s new Premier has vowed to restore integrity, but his response to a landmark IBAC corruption report proves nothing has changed under Labor.

Meanwhile, in another place, with fancy numerical rotating graphic...

Analysis Operation Rosny
From ‘Nun Runs’ to factional funds: ICAC’s unholy six degrees of separation
The extended Perrottet family.
A small group of people from a number of large families feature prominently in a bombshell inquiry into branch stacking and illegal donations.
By Kate McClymont

And there was a Wilcox to go with that ...

It seem that the reptiles ability to indulge in selective blindness has now reached the level of the United States, where it's Faux Noise against the world, with coverage of inquiries here limited to whatever panders to the base.

The pond stepped past all that - comrade Dan is but an ancient memory, even for his ardent followers within the extended family - with that lesser member of the Kelly gang setting the pace on more interesting matters.

Progressive triumph in Democrat primary, but a gamble come November
Abdul El-Sayed’s victory in the Michigan Democratic primary is a key progressive win, but his greater challenge is showing progressive politics can prevail at a statewide general election
By Joe Kelly
Washington correspondent

The reptiles were terrified ...

KEY PRIMARY
Progressive candidate wins Michigan Democratic Senate nomination
Out-spent nine-to-one and written off by the party machine, Democratic socialist Abdul El-Sayed has won Michigan’s Senate primary in a result that could cost Democrats control of the chamber.
By John McCormick and Anthony DeBarros

The bromancer leapt in to the fray, and that, of course, made the pond's day ...

The header: Far-left’s Abdul El-Sayed defeats party favourite in major blow to Democrats; The victory of far-left candidate Abdul El-Sayed in the Democratic primary for November’s Senate race is an earthquake in American politics.

The caption for the snap of a candidate whose very appearance would send a shiver down the spine of any dinkum white Xian: Michigan State Sen. Mallory McMorrow and Democratic Senate primary winner Abdul El-Sayed. Picture: Finn Gomez, AFP

The bromancer could only muster three minutes of hysteria, but how sweet it was. 

Some might think the real earthquake was the second coming of mad King Donald, but not in bromancer la la land ...

Extremism rules!

The victory of far-left candidate Abdul El-Sayed in the Democratic primary for November’s Senate race was narrow in the end, but it’s an earthquake in American politics.
It opens up a chasm as wide as the Grand Canyon between normal, progressive, centre left Democrats and the wild new radicals mounting a far-left insurgency against the party’s values, traditions, history and policies.
El-Sayed beat four-term congresswoman Haley Stevens to become the Democratic candidate for Michigan’s Senate seat in the November midterm elections.
Stevens was supported by the retiring Democrat senator Gary Peters, the Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer and the leader of the Democrats in the Senate, Chuck Schumer. She’d been a strong election winner before, taking a seat from an incumbent Republican congressman.
El-Sayed, who if elected will be the first Muslim in the Senate, was supported by Bernie Sanders, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the far-left activist base beyond the Democratic Party.
Some of El-Sayed’s campaign was standard progressive populism – tax the rich, expand healthcare, all perfectly respectable.
But a lot of his positions, the ones which got the young activists’ juices going, were extreme, intolerant and plain horrible.
As with all these far-left insurgencies, hatred of Israel and hostility to Jews were at the heart of things. El-Sayed says Israel is guilty of genocide in Gaza and rejects Zionism, the idea of a Jewish state in Israel, as illegitimate. He condemns Israel as an “ethno-state”.
Of course he wants to end US military aid to Israel, but also to Jordan, Egypt and Saudi Arabia. Presumably this is to keep the Middle East safe for Iran.

Of course he's wrong about Israel being an ethno state. It's just an old fashioned fundamentalist theocracy, intent on ethnic cleansing, and carrying out the task with passionate conviction.

But steady on bromancer, credit where real credit is due, the main man who has kept the middle east safe for the mad Mullahs of Iran is mad King Donald: Iran and Oman agree on coordinates of route through strait of Hormuz, says Iranian foreign ministry

Has anyone done more to help the repressive regime stay in power, and perhaps score a new revenue stream, while mad King Donald indulges in stolen valour?

It used to be that stolen valour was a crime in the US, not least for a draft dodger who used the cheap ploy of bonespurs to get out of doing time, but mad King Donald can get away with pretty much anything, and the bromancer will never show the slightest sign of interest.

Instead the reptiles decided to insert another snap designed to terrify the hive mind...El-Sayed beat Hayley Stevens to become the Democratic candidate for Michigan. Picture: Finn Gomez, AFP

Is it wrong for the pond to enjoy the sight of the bromancer writhing in agony and terror?

He has previously condemned US police forces as “standing armies” and called to “defend the police”. Naturally, he wants to abolish immigration enforcement agencies. Some of these positions he moderated slightly during the campaign, and unlike a lot of the left insurgents he’s not formally a member of the Democratic socialists of America.
But he was proud to campaign alongside the influencer Hasan Piker who hates modern America and has called the Chinese dictator, Mao Zedong, one of the world’s great leaders. Worse, Piker said America deserved the 9/11 terror attacks. He’s also said Hamas is “a thousand times better” than Israel.
This is the company El-Sayed chooses to keep, indeed sees as useful to his political campaign. It’s the left-wing equivalent of a Republican campaigning alongside neo-Nazis.
El-Sayed’s primary victory is thus a deeply disturbing sign of the polarisation and growing extremism of American politics.
It’s not so clear that he will win the Senate seat in November. Michigan is a peculiar state. Donald Trump won it in 2016 and 2024. Joe Biden won it in 2020. However, Democrats dominate statewide elections. It has a large white working class but it also has the biggest Muslim population in the US.
The actual American working class has very little time for the uber-left identity politics, hatred of Israel as the first issue, anti-American rhetoric, gross radicalisation and all the other twitches and pathologies of the far left.
That is much more a movement of college-educated young people, awash in ignorance of basic facts of geopolitics, and indeed of much of life.
That means Republican Senate candidate Mike Rogers, who in 2024 came within 20,000 votes of being the first Republican senator elected in Michigan since 1994, has a stronger chance against El-Sayed than he would have had against Stevens.
The Democrats need to win four seats in the Senate and hold all their own seats to have a chance of taking control of the Senate. If they lose Michigan, that will be a huge setback for them, and massively help Trump.
But Michigan’s large Arab minority greatly disliked Biden’s residual support of Israel and many of them sat out the 2024 election. They, like the college educated junior bourgeois Bolsheviks, will be full of enthusiasm for El-Sayed.
Whichever way you cut it, this was a dark day for American politics.

How about recent dark days for America in battle, with General Bonespurs throwing everything at Iran?

What else?

Just to keep the indigenous fuss alive, the reptiles dragged in Mandy from some distant void, so she could yammer away ...

Skip go-betweens, go straight to the remote community
Governments don’t need to give Indigenous Australians a voice – they simply need to listen to the one they already have.
By Amanda Vanstone

Yet again that'd be the voice, not the Voice.

Did the pond need to heed this ancient? Nah, with the pond at last turning off its VPN - d'oh - it could send this Noel Pearson devotee off to the intermittent archive.

That done, some will enjoy it, especially this line ...

I’ve got three-quarters Irish blood (incidentally, potato-farming stock, not lace curtain). I don’t wear green on St Patrick’s Day nor do I blame the English today for the famine that drove so many away from Ireland. I have Irish heritage. Full stop.

Full weird, full pathetic, and who might she blame for the famine that drove so many away from Ireland if not the English? Not so much to mount a culture war, but just to observe reality...

Sure, there was the blight and a number of other factors, but as the Great Famine's wiki also noted, there was this ...

...Longer-term reasons for the scale of the famine's impact included the system of absentee landlordism and single-crop dependence. Initial government actions to alleviate famine distress, which were constructive but limited, were ended by a new Whig administration in London that pursued a laissez-faire economic doctrine. Additionally, some members of the British government believed that the famine was divine judgement or that the Irish lacked moral character. Aid resumed only to some degree at a later stage. Large quantities of food were exported from Ireland during the famine, and the refusal of London to bar such exports, as had been done on previous occasions, was an immediate and continuing source of controversy. This controversy contributed to the exacerbation of the Irish issue in British politics, the intensification of anti-British sentiment, the intensification of Irish nationalism and the campaign for independence. Additionally, the famine indirectly resulted in the eviction of tens of thousands of households, a situation exacerbated by a provision that forbade access to workhouse aid for those possessing more than one-quarter acre of land.

There's your saviour at work, indigenous Australia, scribbling away and showing what a fabulous historian she is ...

Mandy really is a silly old chook. Full stop.

The pond also walked around Geoff chambering another round.

The poor lad had dropped down the page because of the way that comrade Dan occupied the hive mind ...and the pond felt a little pity, what with him trying hard every day ...

Minister’s no-show exposes Labor’s over-reliance on PM
Labor’s long-awaited immigration crackdown has collapsed in Anthony Albanese’s absence, handing the opposition free hits on one of the election’s most explosive issues.
By Geoff Chambers
Political editor

Credit where credit's due, he did try to stir the pot and help the beefy boofhead and Gina's pet ...and the opening uncredited art work was a major zinger ...

That's the best the reptiles could do? Are they as enthralled with gambling as the Labor party is?

All in all, the pond rates this a better reptile Thursday than most, despite Jack's attempt to introduce some sense of normalcy ...

Have you taken complete leave of your census?
Refusing to complete Census 2026 will cost Australians far more than skipping an election – and the gap reveals exactly where the government’s priorities lie.
By Jack the Insider
Columnist

Come on Jack, how could you hope to compete with the pond's favourite mad aunt, who routinely loses her senses whenever renewables are mentioned?

The header: Chris Bowen’s absurd plan neglects our energy security, Australia remains the only G20 nation banning nuclear energy while its Energy Minister urges the world to abandon the fossil fuels that still power 90 per cent of the country’s economy.

The caption for the snap, which takes comical portraits of the villain to a new level, and if it's not AI, why on earth would a minister provide the reptiles with this sort of heaven-sent air of quizzical stupidity? The Hon. Chris Bowen MP, Minister for Climate Change and Energy, speaks at the National Press Club. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman

Sadly the reptiles thought so little of Jennie's rant that after the splendid opening snap, they didn't bother with any visual distractions for what they rated a four minute read, though it really only deserved a one minute noodle skimming:

During his recent visit to Australia, the head of the International Energy Agency warned us “that the dark and long shadows of geopolitics are all over the energy sector now”.
Energy Minister Chris Bowen’s speech at the National Press Club on Wednesday, on the theme of Energy Security in an Uncertain World, was perfectly timed, coming on the eve of a possible breakthrough in the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz.
However it turned out to be an opportunity lost. Instead of an energy policy reset, integrating energy security with national security, Bowen remained steadfast in his support for a transition to an intermittent, weather-dependent renewables energy system. His announcement extending financial support for the installation of solar systems on commercial rooftops was an admission that the government would not meet its 82 per cent renewables grid by 2030.
Bowen defended the renewables transition, sticking by his earlier comments that “no war can impede the flow of sun to Australia” and “no sanctions can be applied to wind”. He claimed “no one had said we need more fossil fuels … it was not a conversation being had anywhere around the world”.

Would Jennie mention the recent burnings of Europe and Canada?

Of course she wouldn't.

Would Jennie go the coal, gas and oil route?

Of course she would ...

Bridging the deepening divide over energy policy is a necessary first step. The energy crisis made clear the importance of fossil fuels, with coal, gas and oil accounting for about 90 per cent of Australia’s primary energy mix. Diesel, the industrial fuel, is indispensable for freight, transport, agriculture, mining, defence and emergency services. When diesel stops, the economy stops.
Bowen appears oblivious to this reality and from early days has refused to recognise gas as a transition fuel. He continues to promote an anti-fossil fuels agenda, even in international forums.
As COP31’s president of negotiations he made media headlines at the recent UN climate meeting in Bonn, urging “we need to get off fossil fuels”. It has been his constant theme since COP28 in Dubai in 2023. Speaking on our behalf, he argued that “we don’t need to phase out fossil fuel emissions, we need to end the use of fossil fuels … they don’t have a future in our energy system”. It was an astonishing statement coming from the minister of one of the largest exporters of fossil fuels.
Bowen well knows that achieving consensus about fossil fuels at COP31 is problematic. Even the agreement struck at COP28 to transition away from fossil fuels in a “just, orderly and equitable manner” was short-lived. It collapsed last year at the gathering in Brazil. Undeterred, along with 24 nations, Bowen signed Australia up to the Belem Declaration, pledging to pursue the issue outside the auspices of COP and the UN.
Australia was one of 57 nations that participated in a recent Transitioning Away from Fossil Fuels conference in Colombia. The conference’s decisions, including support for a fossil fuel treaty, will be considered at the coming COP31 in Turkey. Australia’s delegation extended from climate groups to Fortescue and was led by an official from Bowen’s department. We still are to learn what Australia signed up to.
A new electrification target of 35 per cent by 2035 is also on the agenda. A catchy slogan shouldn’t mask the impacts domestically on manufacturing, minerals processing and all forms of transport.
There’s bound to be lively debates in Turkey, testing Bowen’s “middle-power diplomacy” as COP’s president of negotiations.
Bowen has never explained how he reconciles his opposition to fossil fuels at COP with Labor’s Future Gas Strategy. It explains that gas “will remain an important source of energy through to 2050 and beyond”, needing “continued exploration, investment and development” and plays “a crucial role supporting our economy … and our export partners”.

Would Jennie go the nukes? Of course she would.

Would she ignore recent events in Europea relating to climate change, including but not limited to, Hungary avoids nuclear shutdown by 'millimetres' as Danube rises, Hungary's prime minister said on Tuesday that the key EU waterway runs dangerously low

Of course she would ... 

Nuke away, Jennie, apparently to solve a problem that's not a problem for the hive mind, what with climate science a hoax and/or a religious cult, though the pond must confess to some disappointment that she didn't go full SMR:

While these debates will continue in international forums, at home there’s growing support for an energy plan that aims to secure energy independence. The recent uranium deal with India gives momentum to this ambition. We are the only G20 nation with a ban on nuclear energy, dating back nearly 30 years.
In a country blessed with energy resources, people rightly question why we are fuelling the future prosperity of other nations but not our own. It makes no sense, particularly now that energy policy can no longer be separated from geopolitics. Nuclear power is not just another energy technology but would also provide sovereign capability. The nuclear ban should be lifted and the market tested for next-generation micro and modular reactors. They could make a positive contribution in meeting the energy demands of data centres.
Bowen will have the opportunity to see the benefits of nuclear energy while at COP31 in Turkey. One unit of Turkey’s first nuclear plant will be operational soon. It’s the first step in its plans for 7.2 gigawatts of nuclear capacity by 2035 and 20GW by 2050. The plan is for an energy mix using nuclear, domestic coal and gas as well as renewable solar, wind and hydropower. It’s a useful case study, considering Turkey is a late adopter of nuclear energy.
Our national interest is best met by securing our energy independence. We have all the means to make it possible. It just needs an acceptance of reality and the political will to make it happen. We didn’t find this in Bowen’s contribution on Wednesday.
Jennie George is a former federal Labor MP and a former president of the ACTU.

Splendid stuff, and Jennie has almost reached the exalted status of the Bjørn-again one, so monomaniacal, repetitive and obsessive are her contributions to the hive mind...

And now this, because who doesn't enjoy a flutter? 

It could be worse ...

In which the pond finally settles on a nattering "Ned" sermon about the dangers of Gina's pampered pet (squillionth version) ...

 

The reptiles relentlessly pursued assorted jihads early this morning.

(1) The Victorian government ... or should that be, ghosts of Victorian governments past ...

EXCLUSIVE
Former Victorian premier Jacinta Allan’s water bombshell: Secret Labor privatisation plan
Confidential cabinet documents have revealed the Victorian Labor government secretly explored privatising Melbourne Water for five years to rescue the state’s deteriorating finances.
By Anthony Galloway

Top of the digital reptile world ma ...

Jacinta's gone, but just like comrade Dan, she'll live on forever in the reptile mind ... just check out the artwork by Debbie at the top of the yarn, as well as in that splash...

Age might weary comrade Dan, but he'll always make an appearance in the Oz.

The pond deemed the lead worth only a Golding ...

(2)  For the umpteenth time, renewables and solar provided a peril ...

Renewables
Solar panel peril? Bowen hits roof to prop up target
Businesses offered 20 per cent solar discount to help fix faltering renewables target
Climate Change Minister Chris Bowen will unveil a 20 per cent solar discount for businesses, farms, schools and hospitals as Labor’s 82 per cent renewables target faces mounting pressure.
By Geoff Chambers

The pond was shattered when it clicked on Geoff, chambering his usual round, to discover that thumb portrait of a demonic orange yellow monster had been abandoned at the head of the story ...

Still waiting for a story featuring the ongoing destruction of Europe by the impact of climate change? Keep waiting ...

(3) The Australian Daily Zionist News went about its business...

EXCLUSIVE
‘Should be answering questions, not asking’: Matilda’s dad slams ‘hijackers’
The father of the 10-year-old Bondi victim has condemned pro-Palestine groups for attempting to hijack the antisemitism royal commission.
By Bimini Plesser

ANALYSIS
Leadership comes from witness box as Jewish leader pushes back
David Ossip leads from witness box to prevent royal commission veering off course
On an intensely sensitive day, the inquiry come perilously close to being hijacked by questions on Israel’s military actions.
By Lachlan Leeming
NSW Political Correspondent

Wondering if you'll ever read a story about the ongoing ethnic cleansing of Gaza in the lizard Oz? Keep wondering ...

(4) The important business of keeping the pesky, difficult blacks arguing about points of order took another step forward ...

Pearson’s ‘blue dot’ proposal far from Langton-Calma plan (updated archive link. Hot tip: turn off your VPN when using the archive)
Marcia Langton and Tom Calma seem to miss an altogether bigger issue. Their report is not the same as Pearson’s calls.
By Eddie Synot

Sorry Eddie your opening line put the pond right off ...

Noel Pearson’s speech at Garma is a welcome intervention in the sorry situation that has followed the 2023 voice referendum.

That's Voice, Eddie, not voice ...and if you can't stand up to the reptiles, what use are you?

(5) Dame Slap was on hand to berate Alan, a reliable target over the years, not just for being a wanker, but for being a gay wanker ...

Sorry, Alan Joyce. We want CEOs talking growth, not social crusades (updated archive link)
We’d be infinitely happier with CEOs who just look after the store.
By Janet Albrechtsen
Columnist

Sorry, Dame Slap, the pond isn't interested in journalists conducting social crusades against alleged social crusaders ...

Joyce was just there as a straw dog, a convenient prop for the usual reptile devotion to the ways of mad King Donald and his minions, which happens to include SCOTUS ...

...The corporates-as-social-engineers jig is on the nose. In the US the Supreme Court has essentially killed the business case for DEI, while in Australia the virulent bullying by corporate Australia in favour of the voice proved counter-productive. If that disaster hasn’t taught corporate Australia a lesson about its role, then it is on a hiding to nothing.
When it comes to campaigning, corporate CEOs should be lobbying for economic reform with the same verve as the union movement lobbies for productivity-killing privileges. And to be fair to Joyce, he did his fair share of that, where others cowered in corners.
Ten years ago, outgoing CEO of the Business Council of Australia Catherine Livingstone said: “The BCA doesn’t want to campaign, it should not have to campaign because the integrity of its policy positions should speak for themselves.” No doubt Livingstone meant well but the failure of corporate Australia to get interested in issues where they really did have a business case (for example, on tax and industrial relations issues) is damning.
They now bitterly regret their indolence and preference for what they thought were soft and easy pickings of a social justice nature during the first two decades of this century. It meant when a genuinely left-wing government came to power in 2022, business had no credibility and no track record in defending policies that truly did have a business case.
They had wasted all their ammunition on social fripperies for 20 years and had been MIA on the hard issues they should have been working on. So no, Alan, the last thing we want is more CEOs crusading for social justice. We’d be infinitely happier with CEOs who just look after the store.

Just the usual far right drivel, and that was as much of it as the pond could take ...

Meanwhile, with that Oz listicle done, the real fun was taking place elsewhere ...with the fun disappeared to the cornfield by the reptiles of Oz, but dammit there has to be some joy in the world...

Analysis Operation Rosny
Leaks, lies and Liberals: The closing minutes of Damien Tudehope’s ICAC evidence were a disaster
Opposition Leader Kellie Sloane surely won’t want one of the Liberal Party’s faceless men showing his face any time soon.
By Bevan Shields

That ongoing saga, disappeared by the reptiles, inspired John Hanscombe to pen a few words for The Echnida, The Canberra Times' newsletter (which also boasts of supplying cartoons each morning, including the infallible Pope, and so is worth a subscription):

The hatred was visceral. A loathing so deep, so mutual, there was no way the two would ever be reconciled. On occasions it manifested itself in public outbursts so shrill, witnesses were left speechless. They were bitter political rivals out to destroy each other. But they weren't from different parties. Instead, they belonged to warring factions within the one party.
I'm reminded of their poisonous antics daily, as the NSW Independent Commission Against Corruption's Operation Rosny lays bare the scheming and chicanery behind another bruising factional war within the NSW Liberal Party.
The public hearings are delving into the way money from prohibited donors financed the efforts of a conservative Christian group called The Reformers to stack local branches and influence preselections.
Newly minted federal president of the Liberal Party Tony Abbott, himself a seasoned right-wing factional warrior whose best days are behind him, tried to dismiss the ICAC probe into an internal party squabble as a factional hit job.
Abbott's dismissal papers over the role allegedly played by fugitive developer and banned donor Jean Nassif in financing The Reformers, which ICAC is also investigating. Phone taps revealed Nassif, now hiding out in Lebanon, gloating about the influence he believed he had over the NSW government.
The branch-stacking, the backstabbing, the blind ambition of young milk-fed Liberals are all depressingly familiar. A few years ago I watched it play out on my own turf as Gareth Ward, now in jail for sexual assault, went to war with John Howard's Class of 96 veteran federal MP for Gilmore Joanna Gash.
Ward enlisted the support of a coterie of well-groomed, similarly milk-fed Young Liberals to erode support for Gash. Gash, in turn, relied on the backing of the local Liberal gerontocracy. It was a bitter contest that endured long after Gash resigned from federal parliament. Her successor and close friend, Ann Sudmalis, also resigned after the local branches elected a hostile executive after a concerted campaign of leaks and white anting.
It should have ended there but in 2019, then prime minister Scott Morrison staged his own intervention, parachuting Warren Mundine as a candidate into the seat of Gilmore over the locally preselected Liberal Grant Schultz, son of Alby who held the seat of Hume now occupied by Angus Taylor.
The Liberals lost their once blue ribbon seat to Labor, which has held it ever since.
As the 1969 Motown hit asked, "War, what is it good for?" Not much, when it comes to what Abbott calls internal party squabbles. The Liberals lost their seat, the protagonists their careers, and the electorate their faith that the people they elect are there to represent their interests, not those of their factions.
More broadly, the factional warring within the Liberal Party has only hastened its decline and headlong slide into irrelevance. The ICAC hearings expose just how destructive it's been.

Milk fed.

So true, so apt, and you won't be reading that sort of stuff in the lizard Oz. (Not that the pond has got anything against milk).

And the accompanying infallible Pope?

The pond lives in daily fear for the cockies, maggies and kookaburras of the mighty 'Gong, but not so much for Gina's pampered pet.

And after all that winnowing, ducking and weaving, the pond was left with just one early morning reptile.

Come on down nattering "Ned" ...

The header: An alliance with Hanson? Don’t forget Gillard’s fate; Any Liberal-National Coalition that included Hanson would have a short shelf life. The chaos and crisis on the centre right would be far worse than now.

The caption for the overly familiar snap: Angus Taylor and Pauline Hanson.

Right at the get go the pond had a problem. 

That risible opening snap, featuring a downcast beefy boofhead, and an ascendent Gina's pet, seemed familiar, and so it was ... it was there for when Geoff had chambered another of his rounds, proposing the exact opposite to "Ned"...

Time for Angus Taylor to invite Pauline Hanson for tea and unite against Anthony Albanese
Angus Taylor faces mounting pressure from colleagues to engage with Pauline Hanson as the Coalition’s primary vote languishes at 19 per cent.

And that's how the reptiles do business. 

First one proposes something, and then another comes along to stir the pot, though when "Ned" gets to stirring, it's a dull old affair, his usual wandering back in time, so admonishments can be made in his usual ponderous way, and lessons can be learned...

On September 1, 2010, prime minister Julia Gillard signed a formal written agreement creating a governing alliance between the minority Labor government and the Greens political party – a vital step in ensuring Labor would remain in office after the general election 10 days earlier.
The agreement was followed by two subsequent written agreements Gillard reached with independent MPs that turned Gillard’s floor minority into a 76 to 74 majority over the Tony Abbott-led Coalition – an apparent triumph of coalition building by Labor.
But the reality was far different. These agreements doomed Gillard as prime minister. The deal with the Greens, in particular, was ill-advised with irreparable consequences for the Labor brand.
Gillard’s flawed tactics constitute a case study in how not to run a minority government and are relevant today given the confused claims about whether the Liberals should form an alliance or a coalition with Pauline Hanson’s One Nation after the next election.
Gillard’s story provides a definitive answer. She made three mistakes. First, she assumed she needed a formal alliance with the Greens when the Greens had no option since they were never going to make Abbott the PM over Gillard. Second, once committed to a formal deal Gillard had to make concessions and the concession she made – consent to a carbon price (known as the carbon tax and not part of her election agenda) exposed her to claims of “betrayal of the Australian people” in Abbott’s words, an accusation from which she never recovered. Third, by entering into formal alliances Gillard compromised the Labor brand for the rest of her government.

It's almost as tiresome and as tedious as the reptile obsession with comrade Dan, this desire to live in the ancient past. 

Speaking of Alan Jones - much in the fondling news of late, if not in the lizard Oz - does anyone have a chaff bag to hand? Former PM Julia Gillard speaks during a press conference. Picture: Alan Porritt / AAP Image

They say that history arches towards irony and in the case of the parrot the pond is prepared to believe it. Remember the good old days?

Back to "Ned" as he reaches the "lessons to be learned" phase ...

One of Gillard’s most competent ministers, Greg Combet said later: “The problem is the community felt we were running agendas that were not our own. They were seen as somebody else’s.” The core lesson Chris Bowen drew from the Gillard experience was that Labor must govern “alone or not at all”.
This is Anthony Albanese’s assessment, having lived through these events. He has previously made clear if Labor was forced into minority government he would not seek a governing coalition with the Greens. That is obvious. Albanese, moreover, wouldn’t need to since the Greens would never support a Coalition government. Yet the current debate seems not to grasp the power realities in these minority government situations.
Of course, the Liberal-National Coalition is unlikely to be in a position to form a minority government after the 2028 poll – that would require a huge loss of seats by Labor and, in addition, the Taylor-led Coalition could call the shots only if it had more seats than One Nation.
Yet this contingency seems to be consuming both centre-right politics and the related media coverage, with senior Liberals from Angus Taylor down repeatedly being asked whether they would variously strike a deal or agreement or coalition with the Hanson party to create a minority government.
What is pivotal in this debate is the distinct difference between a formal governing alliance or coalition with One Nation that gives Hanson’s party official entry into executive government decision-making as distinct from merely having One Nation agree to give a Liberal-National government support on supply and confidence. That latter does not make One Nation a party to executive power. The difference is fundamental.

The reptiles flung in a snap of a man almost as arcane as the parrot and Flinty in that cartoon ... Greg Combet

Stout-hearted "Ned" stayed loyal to the cause, no matter what the fiends might fling at the beefy boofhead, or what he might do to himself ...

Unsurprisingly, Labor runs a political scare campaign with Albanese saying: “In every way that matters the Liberals, Nationals and One Nation are already a coalition. It’s not just that they need each other to form government. They agree with each other about what they want to do in government.”
The implication is that the only way the Liberals can govern from a minority position is with a coalition or formal alliance with One Nation. This is obviously wrong. If the Liberals post-election have the potential to form a minority government then Hanson’s party must give confidence to Liberals or Labor – and having Hanson king-make Albanese into a third term is nonsense.
Indeed, the disastrous branding consequences for Taylor, as head of a Liberal-National government that would be triggered by opening the executive door to One Nation, would be far more lethal than the grim fate that befell Gillard.
Recall that Gillard was deposed by a desperate ALP caucus in June 2013 with internal research showing its coming defeat would be worse than those of Gough Whitlam in 1975 and 1977. Gillard’s tenacity was vital in her surviving as long as she did against Kevin Rudd’s political assault when the polls had long shown she was doomed.
Her political adviser, John McTernan, said: “All the flak of minority government was sucked into her prime ministership because she was so central to the deals and maintaining the deals.” The further lesson is that any minority government arrangement must be drama free, based on genuine concord.

And here "Ned" explained the single reason for voting for the beefy boofhead. Think of the entertainment value!

That makes any coalition with Hanson impossible. Can you imagine the perpetual disruption and dramas having Hanson involved in any alliance or coalition, given that personal grandstanding and fanning grievance is her modus operandi?
Any Liberal-National Coalition that included Hanson would have a short shelf life. The chaos and crisis on the centre right would be far worse than now given it would be governing. If Taylor tried this, he would be lucky to last three months as PM, let alone Gillard’s three years. The damaging legacy would be hung around the neck of the Liberal Party for years.

There came another grim reminder, featuring the onion muncher and that woman ... Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott in Question Time in the House of Representatives, Parliament House in Canberra.

The pond couldn't think of a single reason to feature a Golding, but did it anyway ...

Kill joy "Ned" brought his sermon to a close ... (if we can't see a coalition government in abject crisis, what's the meaning of life?)

Taylor and his deputy, Jane Hume, have no viable political option but to dismiss any notion of a coalition with One Nation. Apart from being unnecessary, it could never work. It’s not just that Taylor and Hanson don’t trust each other to contemplate such a deal but their policies, starting with the economy, are too far apart anyway, a point Taylor has put on the public record.
The day after Gillard announced her five-page 2010 written deal and concessions to the Greens, I wrote on page one of this paper: “This deal puts Gillard’s leadership on the line” since it was an act of “strategic folly”. It got Gillard into minority government but doomed her leadership.
With Hanson, this is a debate about an issue that won’t happen. But Labor’s rhetorical campaign and repeatedly false signals sent by Liberal and Coalition MPs probably mean the media will keep its focus on an issue that won’t happen – much to Labor’s benefit.
The real challenge for the Liberals is not what happens post-election but what happens pre-election. The imperative for the Coalition is to have a higher primary vote than Hanson, thereby reclaiming its status as the superior party on the centre right. It seems the Victorian election is heading in this direction, with Newspoll showing the Jess Wilson-led Coalition on 31 per cent compared with Hanson’s party on 19 per cent.
As Gerard Henderson has written, the persistent claims that the choice at the next federal election might be between a Labor and a Coalition-One Nation government is a fantasy. That won’t be the choice. The inexplicable irony is that many figures on the centre right are promoting this idea. They should reflect upon Gillard’s fate.

Waddya kno, "Ned" in that last line linking to prattling Polonius, dogs chasing their tails, tortured by the notion that the beefy boofhead might form some kind of alliance to gain power, and knowing deep in their pounding hearts, that he'd do anything to get into the Lodge ...

The more they protest, the more the pond suspects it to be true ...

The pond has already been there and done that, and rather than end on the unsavoury sights and sounds of Dan "the man" Tehan, here's an immortal Rowe ...

The pond is aware of the inspiration ...

... but how much better that Hockney would have been if there'd been some tats ...

Another moment missed in the reptile coverage ... more talk about an ongoing comedy related to a scheming clown who flew too close to the King Donald sun ...

 

And talk about the many forms the American nightmare takes, with the pond realising there's yet another reason to catch a train ...

 

In which the pond gives in to distractions, but still finds room for a bromancer bleat and a jolly good denialist Groaning...

 

The pond woke to more news that Europe was in a bad way, and not just from wildfires. 

Big rivers like the Rhine and the Danube were way down, and landlocked Hungary's nukes were struggling.

The pond knew that none of this would mentioned in the lizard Oz, but could at least note Rhine falls to record low levels as drought strains Europe's rivers.

Bear it in mind, those dismal record levels will come in handy when we get to groaning ...

The pond also knew it wouldn't be reading this kind of report, the sort that appeared in another place yesterday, starring the onion muncher and his friends, and noted by correspondents...

‘No corruption’: Abbott says ICAC a factional hit job as Taylor faces questions (*intermittent archive link)

Tony Abbott, the Liberal Party president and close ally of Opposition Leader Angus Taylor, has accused the Independent Commission Against Corruption of overstepping its remit by becoming involved in an “internal party squabble”.
Abbott, whom Taylor picked as federal president in May, described the religious-right Reformers group as a group of enthusiastic young Christians with a strong sense of mission, and argued there was no suggestion of self-enriching corruption.
Taylor’s long-time friend and supporter, Catholic schools boss Dallas McInerney, is among those being investigated by the ICAC for funnelling Catholic Schools NSW funds to the hard-right Reformers through lobbying companies as illicit donations.
Abbott acknowledged the Reformers, whose key members provided evidence in the first week of Operation Rosny’s hearings, “might have let their enthusiasm get the better of their judgment.”
“There seems to be a level [of] incredulity directed against people’s Christianity, but my main problem is the factional weaponisation of what’s supposed to be an instrument of justice,” he said.
“I’m surprised that ICAC has allowed itself to be caught up in an internal party squabble that involves no conceivable ‘corruption’ in the sense of people gaining an unfair advantage for themselves, especially this close to a state election.”
The probe into his allies has already been a distraction for Taylor, who remains behind One Nation in the polls. ICAC’s hearings are due to continue for another seven weeks.
The inquiry last week produced a message from McInerney to Reformers members saying he planned to “shake down Angus for 10k”, while another witness said McInerney boasted of securing a pledge for $15,000 from Taylor. Taylor has repeatedly insisted no payment was made.
A key Reformers operative told the commission last week that Abbott, a former prime minister, featured in the group’s first event, in February 2018.
Abbott’s statement represents the firmest defence of the bid to install up to 5000 right-wing members to fight the rival centre-right faction, led by MP Alex Hawke, and generate a more conservative stance on social and cultural issues.
His remarks go further than the limited responses from Taylor to questions last week about the claim that he donated money.
While Taylor has not been called by ICAC and is not accused of wrongdoing, some of his federal colleagues have held informal talks about the process for changing leaders if he was implicated more directly.
The MPs and factional opponents of Taylor, who asked for anonymity to discuss the live inquiry, are not necessarily expecting more damaging revelations about the opposition leader. But they are questioning why he has not distanced himself more forcefully, and are on guard in case there are further claims.

And there's more this day from Kate McClymont ...

Betrayals, backstabbers and rats: Inside the ICAC’s Game of Thrones
The ICAC has lit the fuse on an explosive inquiry that will examine the behaviour of (from left) Jean-Claude Perrottet, Dallas McInerney, Jean Nassif and Charles Perrottet, among others.
Day six of the ICAC’s blockbuster inquiry was reminiscent of the fantasy TV series, including allegations of backstabbing at former premier Dominic Perrottet’s wedding. (*intermittent archive link)

Barking mad Xian fundie rats everywhere, but the reptiles of Oz know how to disappear that sort of gossip in a trice and so it was today, as they led with this at the top of the digital edition ma ...

EXCLUSIVE
Going, going gone: ALP’s $230bn hit to property values
ALP’s policies of ‘fear’: $230bn hit to property values
Australia’s property market has shed $230bn in four months, with a developer warning Albanese government policies have created a ‘sentiment of fear’ threatening to deepen the housing crisis.
By Mackenzie Scott and Noah Yim

Get 'em coming, get 'em going. 

Bleat about young potential home owners being locked out of the market, bleat about inflation, then bleat about struggling property investors ... but why the square quotes on "fear", what with fear being the daily serve the reptiles offer the hive mind?

Well played team.

Over on the far right, Geoff chambered another of his rounds, weeping at the fragility ...oh the fragility.

Labor plays roulette with fragile house markets
An assistant minister charged with defending Labor’s housing policy has offered a definition of negative equity that economists say is simply wrong.
By Geoff Chambers

Political editor

Here, have a 'toon to celebrate ...

Back across the way and moving a little further down, having set up Noel for a fall yesterday, the reptiles delivered today ...

EXCLUSIVE
Marcia Langton and Tom Calma call out Noel Pearson on remote Indigenous takeover: good idea … but you rejected it
Indigenous leaders Marcia Langton and Tom Calma have declared Noel Pearson’s remote communities proposal is identical to the reform he rejected five years ago.
By Paige Taylor

(Intermittent archive link updated)

Paige was just regurgitating the source, in the usual reptile way in a bald faced 3 minute summary in the usual reptile way ...

The intermittent archive eventually got around to saving the source (link updated)..

Commentary by Marcia Langton and Tom Calma
Pearson has found his way back to the voice he refused
Where do we go from here, Noel? Back to the blueprint. It has been waiting for five years.

Whatever, both are only noted to show how the reptiles love to feature fussing, feuding black people, especially when it's about the voice, not the Voice (when it comes to caps, the lizard Oz can sometimes be almost Graudian). 

How the reptiles would love to return to the glorious days of their Voice jihad.

Over on the far right there was a splendid array of offerings, rare for a Tuesday.

The pond had to exercise some discretion, so walked on by this offering...

How Islamists have weaponised migration to overwhelm Europe
Since the Arab Spring, Morocco’s Islamists have struggled to offer a credible governing agenda. Instead, they’ve spent years convincing young Moroccans their country has no future.
By Zineb Riboua
Contributor

The alarmist, terrified header is more than enough to set the tone, and her credit sealed the deal ...

Zineb Riboua is a research fellow at Hudson Institute’s Centre for Peace and Security in the Middle East. This piece was first published on her Substack, Beyond the Ideological.

It was, of course, profoundly ideological, but it did at least give the pond a chance to reference Anne Applebaum's latest work for The Atlantic ...

The Far Right Is Distorting Ceuta
We’ve seen this before. (here's hoping that guest link works)

Inter alia ...

...This would not be the first time that a migrant wave has been boosted on social media in order to create a political crisis. In 2021, the Belarusian government imported planeloads of people from the Middle East, brought them to the Polish border, and told them to cross, provoking a political crisis in Poland. The Moroccans themselves are accused of having done this too, in 2021, when they allegedly relaxed border controls to express their annoyance with Spain.
But the most important precedent was in 2015, when the Russian destruction of Syria produced a massive wave of migration that also was filmed and photographed, especially after Germany declared that it would accept hundreds of thousands of war victims as refugees. Social-media posts showing migrants walking toward Europe, some amplified by the Russians who destroyed Syria, then played a major role in the Brexit campaign in the U.K., as well as the rise of the far right in Germany. The scars left by this memory are so deep that several European leaders, including the social-democratic prime minister of Denmark and the nationalist prime minister of Italy, this week accused Sánchez of endangering the Schengen Area even though, once again, the integrity of the zone was never threatened.
Readers can be forgiven for feeling a strong sense of déjà vu. For more than a decade now, European and indeed American politicians have known that real, fake, enhanced, or context-free pictures of migrants jumping fences will immediately create a wave reaction. Military rhetoric will be used—attack or invasion—and, to quote Vance, “radical left-wing globalist policies” will be blamed. Hardly anyone will ask why it is that so many people are so desperate to move that they will risk their lives. Few will mourn the dead.
Instead, far-right and MAGA politicians, influencers, and podcasters will immediately use the most divisive language possible in order to make voters as angry as possible, as fast as possible, regardless of what actually happened. Almost everyone else will be intimidated by their fury. As it turns out, it’s harder to stop the wave of anger than it is to stop the migrants themselves.

Well yes, it's the far right lizard Oz way, and after all that, the pond had to pay attention to its long time favourites.

First the bromancer, desperate to distract from mad King Donald ... and while updating links, the pond couldn't fail to notice how the reptiles had dressed up his hit piece with some splendid artwork and a pride of place position... (the pond couldn't be bothered checking the text to see if it had also been fiddled with).

The pond was bursting with pride that the bromancer was so honoured, knowing he'd explain that there was nothing wrong with AUKUS, except perhaps the UK and the US ...

Such incredible art, and yet so uncredited. So subtle and nuanced ...

AI, you've done it again.

Compare and contrast the original dullard illustration as the bromancer set out on his journey, where all the reptiles could come up with was a shouty shouty snap ...

The header: Defence for dummies? Marles and Conroy certainly fit the bill; One day Albanese government defence policy will be studied in universities around the world as the Platonic ideal of disastrous policymaking.

The caption for that angry man shouting at clouds: Defence Industry Minister Pat Conroy talks about the AUSKUS submarines at the Osborne Naval Shipyard. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Brenton Edwards

Where would the country be without its very own Reichsmarschall des GroßAustralisch Reiches, always standing by to deliver his advice in language most genteel...

What an absolute fuster-cluck, to use the precise technical term, the Albanese government’s defence policy is at every level. It’s the perfect mannequin dummy, with neither brains nor balls. It’s so incoherent it’s almost impossible to follow. Amateur hour on steroids.
John Howard shrewdly observed that the immigration discussion is blighted by a pointless debate about abstract nouns – monoculturalism and multiculturalism – which could mean almost anything. He might have made the same point regarding the debate about AUKUS, another abstract noun with a wildly elastic range of meanings. Certainly, the statements of Defence Minister Richard Marles and Defence Industry Minister Pat Conroy range from implausible to contradictory to ridiculous a good deal of the time.
The latest almost comically implausible mess seems to have been all Conroy’s work. Under AUKUS, from next year, American and possibly British submarines will rotate through Perth in an arrangement called Submarine Rotation Force West. They won’t be permanently based in Perth, but will visit sometimes for months.
The Albanese government has consistently sold this as contributing directly to Australia’s security, contributing to allied deterrence, giving the US a useful regional access point, and allowing deep maintenance of both US, and eventually Australian, nuclear submarines. This would relieve some of the congestion in the US maintenance program and thus free up more sailing days for US nuclear subs. So would reducing the time for US subs transiting from Hawaii to the Indian Ocean side of the Indo-Pacific.

Still with AUKUS and the subs? Acting Prime Minister Richard Marles, left, Vice Admiral Jonathan Mead, Chief of the Nuclear Powered Submarine Task Force and South Australian Premier Peter Malinauskas. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Brenton Edwards

Still with the notion that mad King Donald and his minions were of any interest at all?

Did that 'toon mention Gaza? 

The ethnic cleansing continues apace, and What We Can Learn From Trump’s Short-Lived “Historic Breakthrough” in Gaza, This is what happens when you bring in amateurs to negotiate peace in the Middle East

But you can't expect the bromancer to go there ...

All this was predicated on the idea that Canberra thinks it benefits us, and the world, for more US nuclear submarines to be at sea more often. But then former Defence Department deputy secretary Mike Pezzullo noted that from 2032 on, US policy planned to have some Virginia-class nuclear-powered subs armed with short-range nuclear weapons.
This sent a frisson of worry through the Albanese government, as it has never succeeded, largely because it’s never tried, in selling AUKUS in principle to its activist base. An infinitely superior generation of Labor leaders, Bob Hawke and Kim Beazley, convinced the Labor Party to support the welcome of US naval ships to Australian ports even though the US had a “neither confirm nor deny” policy regarding whether any particular ship carried nuclear weapons.
But the Albanese government is not only incompetent, it’s cowardly. It’s frequently caught in an unmanageable vortex of conflicting imperatives from conflicting impulses of cowardice.
In any event, on July 29, in an interview on the ABC’s 7.30, Conroy said: “Submarine Rotation Force West is due to come to an end in the early 2030s.” He repeated this point several times, specifying the year 2032. The context is important. Sarah Ferguson was asking him if, after Virginias began potentially to carry nuclear weapons, their presence in Perth would cause a problem. Conroy chose to answer this by saying the arrangement would come to an end in 2032. In that interview, he at no point suggested any ongoing arrangement to replace it.
Ferguson herself, in her promo for the interview, was under no doubt in interpreting Conroy’s statement. She said: “(Conroy) said for the first time that the American Navy submarine rotation would end in 2032.”
This would have been astounding news to Washington. It’s hard to know, too, why so many naval personnel berths are being built in Perth if we’re only going to have the minuscule Australian crew there after 2032. Gone too, apparently, are all those arrangements about long-term maintenance.
For a couple of days no one could get any reaction from the Pentagon. Then on July 31, Marles gave an interview in which he repeatedly said: “Submarine Rotational Force West is intended to be an enduring feature of that American force posture in Australia and it’s a really important part of the AUKUS framework.”

At this point the reptiles introduced an AV distraction ...Former Labor MP Michael Danby says the AUKUS submarines have the opportunity to “deter” the aggressive Chinese fleet. Mr Danby told Sky News host Jaimee Rogers that drones are the “future” of modern warfare. “These drones are unbelievable. “We should just be importing vast quantities of this stuff; it’s incredibly cheap.”

The pond wasn't just distracted by having a host called "Jaimee".

What's this talk of Faux Noise down under? 

Hasn't there been a rebrand? 

Will the reptiles ever become aware of it?

And will the bromancer continue to burble about the joys of being in bed with mad King Donald? You betcha ...

The Pentagon itself then issued a statement noting the “enduring” nature of the arrangements. Then Conroy himself issued a social media statement, bizarrely on X, without defence portfolio or even personal ministerial letterhead, which said: “Submarine Rotational Force West is intended to be an enduring element of US Force Posture in Australia.”
That, and Conroy’s initial 7.30 statement, cannot both be true. What seems to have happened is that the Pentagon slapped Marles into line, and Marles slapped Conroy into line. Conroy could attempt some kind of verbal sleight-of-hand defence that the name under which US submarines rotate through Perth might change. But that’s not what he said on 7.30. He just declared the arrangement would end.
It seemed for a minute a government minister had announced a major shift in policy but people were right to assume that because these ministers so incessantly talk such implausible rubbish that it was just another gaffe. My interpretation of this baffling but typical Albanese government defence mess is that it was Conroy attempting to make some response to the Pezzullo intervention, to help the government among Labor branches and activists.
One interpretation is that the government was exercising leverage against the Americans. If you don’t sell us a Virginia on schedule in 2032, we might kick you out of Perth. That is either implausible or it shows the government in an even more foolish light than we have yet imagined. If we don’t get a Virginia in 2032, and as a result we kick the Americans out of Perth, we would then end up with neither our own subs nor the presence of allied subs, a result so wholly ridiculous and against our national interests it must be beyond even the compass of Albanese defence policy. Then again …
The AUKUS debate is mostly a clash of conflicting fantasies. Of course it will be great for Australia to have nuclear-powered subs. The real problem with AUKUS is that it’s going to take so long and the government is doing almost nothing else in defence in the meantime. It’s as though you were building a new rugby league team to enter the competition in 2032 and you recruited Bulldogs captain Stephen Crichton, the best player in the league, as your star player for the new club, but then forgot to add the other 12 members needed to make up a team.
One day Albanese government defence policy will be studied in universities around the world as the Platonic ideal of disastrous policymaking.

And that done and dusted, and speaking of ongoing disasters, will the bromancer ever get around to scribbling about the disastrous policymaking conducted by mad King Donald and his minions?

Some within the tent, such as the WSJ editorial board, are able to manage it...with a recent offering beginning with the piquant joke “A friend quipped the other day that President Trump truly deserves the Nobel Peace Prize because he has already ended the Iran war eight times.”

Sheesh, another distraction, but what the hell Archy ...

Trump’s Latest Iran ‘DEAL’ (sorry, the intermittent archive isn't currently in save mode, but what follows is the text)
He again calls off the military escalation he threatened, with little detail disclosed.
By 
The Editorial Board

Why is it that the bromancer never goes, though it seems clear enough who's the real fuster-cluck (so clever, so witty):

Indeed, indeed...

And here's a few other things not mentioned by the lizard Oz...

 

Actual gambling reform? Gina's pet banning the media?

Nah, none of that, and so to the regular Tuesday treat, wherein old biddy Dame Groan explains why we're all rooned ...

Did the pond mention the way that climate change is currently stuffing Europe?

What we need is even more stuffing, perhaps by way of a bigly gassing, a sure fire way to conduct a holocaust ...

The header: Will El Presidente have time to fix our shoddy gas policy? As the air goes out of the net-zero tyre, it would’ve been preferable for Chris Bowen to focus on the energy issues we face at home.

The caption for the snap of that eternal villain: Climate Change and Energy Minister Chris Bowen.

Did you like that jibe about El Presidente?

That's a sign Dame Groan is in top form, and so the old biddy spent a bigly four minutes dissing renewables and wind and batteries (she hates wind as much as mad King Donald) and so on, because what climate science?

Our Climate Change and Energy Minister, Chris Bowen, surely has his hands full, what with his additional job of president of COP negotiations leading up to and including the climate conference to be held in Antalya later in the year. A pre-meeting is scheduled for Fiji, although it’s proving difficult to get heads of government interested in attending.
It’s not entirely clear what Australia stands to gain from the minister’s overcommitment. There are numerous problems emerging in relation to the difficult – probably impossible – transition of the electricity grid away from fossil fuels that need urgent attention.
Large-scale wind projects have become almost unbankable, and we have the bizarre possibility that an expensive new transmission system will be built in the New England region without any new renewable energy projects.
The early bidders into the federal government’s Capacity Investment Scheme are having second thoughts and are seeking to renegotiate terms to push up the degree of subsidisation. These bidders, largely overseas companies, are also seeking assistance under state schemes, although in these instances the costs are directly borne by energy users via higher prices rather than taxpayers.
Talking about fleecing taxpayers, the federal government’s Cheaper Home Batteries program really takes the cake. It was originally expected to cost $2.3bn over four years. But a design glitch meant “the actual average battery support was 75 per cent higher because households chose to install higher average battery sizes”. At one stage, the cost of the scheme had blown out to $14bn but has now been wound back to $8.5bn.

There came another snap of the two main villains, posed together, Anthony Albanese and Chris Bowen hold a press conference in Sydney. Picture: NewsWire/ Nathan Smith

Dame Groan ploughed on in her inimitable way, in the style that has made her much cherished by pond correspondents ...

But here’s the thing: our very busy Climate Change and Energy Minister thinks this scheme is a great success because it is reducing demand for dispatchable large-scale electricity – mainly coal – at the end of the day, in particular.
But a recent event in South Australia clearly demonstrates why expensive household batteries are not really the answer to our prayers. A wind drought – it was described as the worst wind lull in SA since 2019 – meant that virtually no power was being generated from wind sources for a period.
While batteries, both household and larger-scale, were useful for a while, they soon ran low. The maximum wholesale price of $20,300 per megawatt hour was reached on two occasions and gas-fired power was required to meet demand.
What this episode clearly demonstrates is the fragility of the system and the need to cover all events, not just events on average. The required redundancy in the system is one of the reasons for our extremely high electricity prices.
In turn, this feature feeds into the appalling loss of productivity in the utilities sector, as noted by the Productivity Commission.
“Productivity growth in the utilities industry, of which the electricity sector is a part, has been poor. In fact, from 2000-01 to 2023-24, the utilities industry was the worst-performing industry in Australia (falling nearly 40 per cent). The electricity sector itself did not fare much better.”
In the meantime, Bowen has been spending some of his scarce time devising a gas reservation scheme, having vigorously opposed such an arrangement during the last election campaign. Recall that the Coalition promised to introduce a gas reservation scheme to reduce east coast prices. The expectation was that an additional 50-100 petajoules would be made available to the domestic market, with east coast demand totalling around 500 petajoules.
Bowen labelled the proposal a “scam-phlet”, referring to the document outlining the Coalition’s proposal. But that was then, and now he is all aboard a national reservation scheme even though there are effectively three gas domestic markets in Australia: the east coast, the Northern Territory and Western Australia. Bear in mind, WA has had a gas reservation scheme for many years. While there are some issues about the way it works, it’s hard to make the case for disturbing that arrangement.

Who better than the Ughmann, devoted former seminarian and renowned climate scientist, to add to the debate, in discussion with petulant Peta ...

News24 political contributor Chris Uhlmann says the world is moving towards prioritising energy security, warning Australia’s current policies risk making the nation poorer. “There is undoubtedly a shift which Chris Bowen refuses to acknowledge,” Mr Uhlmann told News24 host Peta Credlin. “Right around the world, the world understands now that energy security trumps everything else. “What Chris Bowen says and does is somewhat a sideshow. “We continue to pursue policies which will in the long run make us a poorer nation.”

Say what? There has been a rebrand/

Sky Noise down under now goes by another name?

 But nobody bothered to tell Arthur or Martha or the lizard Oz until now?

And speaking of Martha, Dame Groan offered a final gobbet, grandly climaxing in a triumphant dissing of net zero, because there's never been a better time to gas the planet ...

Economists have no problem with resource reservation rules if they are agreed prior to investment in projects. They should preferably apply for the duration of a project rather than each year.
What is now being proposed by the federal government doesn’t fit into this mould. A very large tranche of gas is to be reserved – around 250 petajoules, or 20 per cent of the total exports of LNG – and this must be sold to users each year, not just offered. This is absurd and would basically force most small domestic gas producers to the wall.
There is very little domestic demand in the Northern Territory and yet the proposal is that the reserved gas must be sold before any residual can be exported. This is completely unworkable. Given the prospects of the very large Beetaloo project coming to fruition, the last thing the country needs is this sort of impediment to stand in its way.
The basic idea is that downward pressure should be placed on the domestic price of gas and this would help industrial users of gas as well as gas-using households. The trouble is that a much lower domestic price will kill the incentives for exploration and new developments because the anticipated risk-adjusted returns will be simply too low.
There is also the possibility that the LNG export contracts entered into by the three producers operating out of Gladstone will not be fully honoured. Not only would there be important implications for our trading relationships, but there could also be a threat to the security of our liquid fuels sourced from Asian refineries.
The consultation process for the proposed gas reservation scheme – at least there has been one – has drawn stringent criticisms from a wide range of participants. Apart from some gas users, who are still wary about long-run price and supply sustainability, the scheme is essentially friendless. It partly reflects the complete gutting of the bureaucracy in terms of expertise and experience in the field.
There really is no choice but to return to the drawing board. A much smaller quantity of gas should be nominated; it will need only to be offered to users, not sold; Western Australia and the Northern Territory should be excluded; and specific commitments must be made to the facilitation of the opening up of new gas fields, including support for the required infrastructure such as additional pipelines.
As the air goes out of the net-zero tyre globally, it would have been preferable for Bowen to focus on the various pressing energy issues we face at home. These COP conferences come and go, but they won’t solve our domestic energy problems.

Let's hope this summer isn't as good down under as Europe's has been up there, because if it turns out that way, Dame Groan blather about climate science coming and going will be the least of our problems.

And so to the immortal Rowe, wrapping up all that's going down ...

Beware of dark alleys full of unsavoury types.

Finally, the kid does well in this tribute to Alex Jones, down there with mad King Donald ranting about Jeanine Pirro.

The humour might be heavy handed, but was Alex ever subtle?