In which the pond spends time with a fundamentalist tyke, and Bella of the IPA, and then finishes off with a jolly good groaning ...

 

 

 

It should always be remembered that the bromancer is a fundamentalist tyke. 

He might turn up on the ABC, smiling and blathering away, because that's the ABC's cardigan wearing two siderism at work in a woke way, but essentially, it's just a mask, and he's a fundamentalist tyke, and understanding and remembering this is the only way to approach today's offering ...

 

 

 

 

The pond isn't going to argue with a fundamentalist tyke, nor note the logic, as per Clarence, that the Supreme Court implausibly found in favour of contraception, same sex sex, same sex marriage, and mixed race marriages, so that Clarence might embark on marital life. Go Clarence, get stuck in to those snakes on a plane, or perhaps call on Sam to help ...

 

 

Three fifths of an originalist Supreme Court judge coming to you soon ...

The pond long ago gave up arguing with a fundamentalist tyke pretending that taking away rights is a form of democracy. So instead the pond will slip in a few cartoons ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now back to the fundamentalist tyke bullshit ...

 

 

 

 

It is of course a typical fundamentalist Catholic tyke debating trick ... seize on a single example of someone exercising a choice, while arguing in a way that deprives women of choice ...

 

The pond could dig up personal examples of its own ... like the adopted child who returned to the pond's extended family in search of its long lost natural mother, only for the mother, still a Catholic, still consumed by guilt, to reject any advances from the child.

Oh it's a tough world, and there's going to be much unhappiness, from the needless deaths in backyard abortions, to the victims of rape and incest carrying their assailants babies to term, to a boom in the Catholic adoption system, and never mind past horror stories of disposable bodies buried willy nilly, to children wondering why they were handed off for adoption, and what might have happened to their natural parents ...

None of this matters to your fundamentalist tyke ...

 

 

Uh huh, a fundamentalist tyke keen to crank up the Catholic adoption ponzi scheme system again would say that, wouldn't he, because there's nothing like being the product of rape or incest to induce peace of mind and harmony in an adoption ... and if your mother happens to die while giving birth, what a bonus sense of the rightness of the world ...

And as for dividing the country, where's the harm in a civil war?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The pond thought it would throw in that last cartoon as a reminder that there's going to be new and enhanced ways to kill off the excess of babies ...

And so to a last very short gobbet of fundamentalist tyke bullshit ...

 

 

 

Written by a complacent white Australian male, always available for ABC appearances ...

Luckily the infallible Pope has returned this day to celebrate the state of the union ...

 

What a relief to turn to the squawking of Bella of the IPA ...

 

 

 

Indeed, indeed, the pond is never in the business of distorting history, and certainly isn't interested in facts being taught, which is why it deplores the ungrateful savages and their disgraceful, barbaric treatment of the good Captain ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poor James, oh the filthy savages ... and what a grand painting, showing the valiant warriors trying to harmoniously introduce concepts of civilisation to the disgraceful mob ...

Well the pond has done its bit, and now it's time for Bella of the IPA to do the rest ...

 

Indeed, indeed, the game of woke and all that from Bella of the IPA, and the pond couldn't help be reminded of all those bloody Marxists ruining the country, as turned up in Crikey yesterday ...

 

It's a matter of some pride for the pond - in fact it's the pond's whole business model - that there are some marvelous fruitloops out there on public transport ...

Catch a bus today, or in Melbourne a tram, and watch out for the bloody Marxists all around you, and give thanks to Hollie for the warning ...

And speaking of fruitloops, today is Dame Groan day, and the pond hasn't forgotten the devotion and loyalty the Groaner's groaning inspires in the pond readership, but really today is a very dry as dust edition, and the bromancer and Bella have shown what the very best of the reptiles can really do ...

 

Of course the NSW government was up to its blatant misrepresentations and cooking and long stewing of the books long before the keen Kean turned up to supervise the simmering, but the pond suspects that this is a handy time for the Groaner to have a groan, because she surely must fear and loathe this simpering wet, always banging on about climate science ...

 

Sheesh, this is dry stuff. Of course it's entirely wrong for governments to fix things, it goes right against the grain. Special mental health levies ..."even on companies"!!!

Oh, as Marlon might say, the horror, the horror ...

Is there no end to the horrors the Groaner must confront, while no doubt still pocketing a healthy, if much reduced stipend, from Chairman Rupert ...

But because of the dryness, might the pond just slip in a leftover cartoon ...

What a threesome, and so to the final gobbet of groaning about all that bloody pork barreling, as if the country isn't in urgent need of federal carparks ...

 

 

 

Well it wouldn't be a decent Groan if the Groaner hadn't done a groan involving dear sweet innocent beloved clean Oz coal, and the important role it plays in state budgets and fucking the planet ... and now the pond considers its duties done for this day, and offers some pious advice as a closer, even as the pond knows that the advice will be ignored, such is the state of wilful ignorance, superstition, and stupidity these days in the union devoted to the Talibanisation of hand maidens...

 

 

 

 

In which the Major and the Caterist renew old reliable routines with a lick of reptile paint ...

 

The reptiles seem to have lost their way. This day there's still endless blather about Lisa Wilkinson, but the fallback seems to be stale old ranting about the wicked greenies, given a lick to paint to make the rants seem fresh, and a search for a new messiah, though some might wonder if the mutton Dutton is just a naughty boy ...

As usual, the pond embarked on its Monday mission with the Major, and discovered that lick of paint was more a lick of the old tar brush, with a hint of a greenie feathering ...

That's the great thing about the Major. He can scribble, in a lazy, ideological, naive way, about lazy, ideological, naive journalists without blinking an eye, while sending the pond into an irony overload, simply unable to cope with the Major's base load. 

There's no need to mention that long lost Order of Lenin medal when new drivel of the Major kind trickles out each Monday ...

Of course it's not just the greenies, it's that loose cannon, and so the reptiles offer up a snap of their new satan ....

Once upon a time the Major would have devoted all his energy to the wonders of dinkum, clean, pure, innocent Oz coal, but these days he must stress the grid by abusing batteries, renewables and the whole damn thing.

Once upon a time, the Major would have mocked climate scientists as religious zealots, but things are getting a little hot on that front, so the Major must have a go at those wretched bunnies pounding away on their drums, pretending they can run forever ...

Ah, yes, the poor people. It goes without saying that on behalf of chairman Rupert and his squillions, the Major's heart bleeds for the poor people ... and the pond was taken back in time to the days when the reptiles cried at the polluting of the urban landscape by the NBN ...

These days it's the Major stressing about how to charge EVs, what with them constituting an astonishing 2% of the market place, though to be fair even 2% is an insult to any ranting reptile ...

It’s no secret that Australia lags sorely behind the world in electric vehicle uptake.

Stymied by a distinct lack of carrots and sticks to encourage carmakers and drivers to sell and buy EVs, the percentage of new cars sales in Australia that are fully electric has only just hit 2%.

That’s in stark contrast to overseas, where decades’ worth of EV policy are now seeing many drivers choosing to go electric because they have the choice they need and prices are made more palatable with rebates or tax credits.

The latest figures from Europe show that one in four new cars sold can be plugged in, and one in eight are full battery-electric cars. In Norway the case is even more impressive; with 30 year’s worth of EV incentives in place there are now nine EVs sold for every combustion engine vehicle.

And perhaps less well known is how difficult it is to track electric vehicle uptake in Australia, because of the haphazard and opaque way in which the sales and registration data of alternatively fuelled vehicles is collected and stored by various authorities. (here)

Dammit, that's the way the Major likes it, let's not have any talk of more EV gruel, you woke rich people, you environment writers pretending that the planet is in peril ...

Talk about a plaintive cry in the wilderness. "What happens when an EV is driven at night? Do the lights go off?"

No, no, things go bump in the night! A renewable energy boogeyman stalks the laneways, and the long absent lord help any reptile caught out in the night air ...

And so to a survey of the rest of the reptile offerings this day ...

Say what? No Oreo, just Dame Slap blathering on, and seeming to show off a paranoid persecution complex? Has some media vigilante been giving Dame Slap a hard time? Charge Lisa is the new reptile cry? But what if someone cries charge Dame Slap for donning the MAGA cap and blathering about the UN using climate science to introduce world government by Xmas?

Never mind, the pond isn't going to indulge the reptiles with their Lisa fixation - giving Polonius a chance to prattle was more than enough - and the grave Sexton had nothing to say about the Talibanisation of the United States, save to say that a bill of rights was and is a bad idea ... and so leave the issue of women's rights, not that they deserve any, to politicians ...

So the pond had to be content with the Caterist search for a new messiah, as you'd expect from naughty boys throwing rocks at eddies swirling in quarries ...

How the reptiles love Vlad the impaler sticking it to the Germans. If you ever wanted proof that renewable energy was a danger, trust in a sociopath intent on imperial delusions of grandeur ...

Luckily there is a Messiah ready to lead the country into the wilderness ... because it's all ruined, the reptile dream has been shattered, and renewables and those damn greenies have unleashed chaos ... and sheesh, please, don't interrupt the flow with idle talk of climate science ...

It's astonishing how difficult it is for the reptiles ...

As for the sudden sags and surges in the planet?

The southern Spanish city of Seville is to become the first in the world to name and classify heatwaves – much in the way that tropical storms or hurricanes are named – in an effort to better shield residents as periods of excessively hot weather become more frequent.

The year-long pilot project in one of Spain’s hottest cities will classify heatwaves into three categories and named from a list that include Xenia and Wenceslao.

The initiative is part of a broader set of measures, from emissions reductions to decarbonisation, aimed at countering climate change, said the city’s mayor, Antonio Muñoz.

“We are the first city in the world to take a step that will help us plan and take measures when this type of meteorological event happens – particularly because heatwaves always hit the most vulnerable,” Muñoz noted in a statement this week.

The pioneering programme comes days after Spain sweltered through one of its earliest heatwaves on record and after a May that ranked as the hottest in 58 years. The frequency of heatwaves in Spain has doubled compared with previous decades, according to state meteorological agency Aemet.

Seville, where temperatures often climb above 40C, is about 100 miles from the town of Montoro where the mercury last year climbed to Spain’s highest-ever temperature at 47.4C. (the fully woke Graudian)

Damn you woke greenie Spaniards, just cope with the surges ... while the pond does its best to cope with the Caterist, surging towards his new Messiah ...

Perhaps it's just the energy irony overload in the pond's system, but the reptiles seem to be in top form this day. Who else but the Caterist could scribble about "the pragmatic, more worldly approach that drives Liberal governments at their best."

So that's what beefy boofhead Angus was doing in the Cayman Islands ...

Is there an upside? Yes, because each day now the pond gets to sup on reptile tears, and relish the whining and the pining, as they dream of some fresh apocalypse so that rough beast, the mutton Dutton, can slouch towards Canberra ...

And speaking of rough beasts, the pond has been enjoying the theatre of British politics. 

At one time, the pond thought of the Graudian as a colonial invader, but as the pond is home to reptiles acting as stooges for the Talibanisation of the United States by News Corp, what the heck, bring on the old blighty fun ...

The pond did enjoy Nick Cohen's piece in The Observer, bringing back to mind the Dolchstoßlegende (stab-in-the-back myth) in relation to Brexit ...

The mediocrity of Lord “Frosty” Frost isn’t ordinary. There is an epic quality to his failings. The parochialism of his nationalism and irresponsibility of his conspiracy theories have allowed one paunchy man to embody the entire collapse of modern conservatism into know-nothing paranoia.

No serious person outside the ruling elite doubts that Frost and Boris Johnson’s hard Brexit heightened the misery of millions. They have raised inflation, cut the national wealth and diverted the energy of Britain’s rulers away from the economic crisis into needless disputes with our neighbours.

Extremist movements face their greatest danger when their supporters realise all hope is gone. Failure brings the risk that the faithful will think again and walk away. Conservatives might now move from nationalism to patriotism, and contemplate the compromises the UK must make to repair the damage they have caused.

Without visible benefits from Brexit, betrayal narratives are all the leaders of the Brexit right have to hold the movement together. They must persuade their followers, and perhaps themselves, that they have not wasted their lives on a futile cause. The internal struggle to keep the faithful in line is why it can feel as if you are eavesdropping on private conversations when you listen to Conservative debates. The right is talking to itself rather than to the country: dousing its supporters’ doubts by feeding their fears. Conservatism hasn’t diminished Britain because Brexit was a mistake, it tells them. Your leaders did not take you for fools. You were betrayed – we were all betrayed! – by saboteurs who turned victory into defeat...

So it goes and even the lizard Oz editorialist couldn't resist taking a look at the saboteurs ...

Oh say it ain't so, remember the over and over cry of the internationally famous bromancer ...

And so Britain got its wish, over and over, and now to celebrate the saboteurs, a few cartoons from the Graudian, with more here ...

In which the pond stays true to Polonius's prattle, dabbles with our Gracie, and is saved from Dame Slap, the bubble headed booby and the oscillating fan by the arrival of another Killer piece ...

 

This weekend the reptiles have been all over Lisa Wilkinson - Polonius was at it with his prattle, Dame Slap gave her a bloody good slapping, and bubble-headed booby Gemma was also in on the game, though sounding very much like Polonius, loyally raising the matter of the Pellist trial ...

The pond didn't come down in the last shower, or even the last climate change affected big rain dump, and immediately knew what this murmuration of reptiles was about. 

Firstly the pond would have to run at least something about it, and secondly the pond would have to mount some kind of defence ...

Well one part is true, because the pond is loyal to Polonius and his prattle, and will always give the doddering old pedant a run, but as for Wilkinson, she must fall on her own sword ...

Perhaps the only disappointing aspect is that there doesn't seem any clear way for Polonius to make it all the fault of the ABC ...

Dame Slap at least introduced a little variation in proceedings by dragging in Ricky Gervais, and in the process, came up with this hilarious thought bubble:

"More seriously, by mocking the trans bullies during his most recent stand-up comedy act, Gervais is punching up."

For its sins, the pond happened on a walk to be listening to be listening to LBC discussing the latest unfunny Gervais outing, in which it was noted that, for all his alleged braveness, he didn't do black jokes. 

Very few white comics dare to go there, because they know they're on a hiding to nothing, but punching down with some tranny jokes is what you do when there's a new, much smaller, easy to kneecap minority on the block.

Aboriginal and wog jokes are on the nose, unless they happen to be done by the victims turning the tables, but you can always get a snide snigger from bigots with a tranny joke.

The recent kerfuffle about trans people in sport is another classic example of how to bash up a very small minority, with very few actual trans sports people to be sighted to cause the mass hysteria (as an aside, the pond's trans friend confesses to having been hopeless at sports before transition, and then she became even more hopeless as the transition kicked in).

Anyhow, the unseemly attempt at tranny bashing by Dame Slap was another reason the pond decided to pass on her and Gervais - there's enough transphobia to last a lifetime currently during the rounds at News Corp ...

Truth to tell the pond would rather be celebrating by dishing out the same sort of treatment the reptiles offer others... (Crikey paywall).

And so on, and that inevitably led the pond to Marina Hyde, marinating Chairman Rupert here ...

If only the pond could write like that, but what splendid news there's been of Piers and assorted other chairman tankings of late ...

Could it be that the pond's imaginary friend really does have magical powers?

And now, after thatlengthy detour, it's time to revert to Polonius, with the pond still hoping against hope that it was all the fault of the ABC, or that the cardigan wearers will at least get an ignoble mention ...

Nope, it's just the Project, which the pond can proudly claim to have never, ever seen, though as a saving grace, for the first time in the pond's memory of recent times - admittedly failing - Polonius actually mentioned commercial radio, though in a way that suggested a lack of familiarity, and certainly an expectation that none of Polonius's readers would know what he was scribbling about. Why else would he feel the need to explain that Jones was actually, in common, sordid, commercial parlance a Jonesy?

And then by hook and by crook and at last, Polonius dragged in the ABC, courtesy of the Pellist saga ... but please no mention of the way that for decades priests freely molested little children, on the basis of the biblical text, suffer the children to come unto them, or them to come on to them, or whatever ...

But here's the curious thing. Polonius himself has just talked about R v. Lehrmann, and so has bubble-headed Gemma, and so has Dame Slap, and so have a host of reptiles, when surely the wisest thing would just have been to shut up about it, and especially not draw false and insidious parallels to the Pellist matter, since the implication by definition is that Lehrmann might himself be the new Pell ...

Even worse, because Wilkinson keeps turning up, the pond has been drawn in, when the pond usually prefers to leave matters before the court to the courts, even when it's a kangaroo court intent on persecuting a whistleblower for blowing the whistle about the shameless, shocking behaviour of Lord Downer in commercial negotiations with East Timor ...

Still, the desire to cut back on the reptile Wilkinson Lehrmann trial coverage left the pond with a dilemma. We know What's on third, but Who's on second, and so for a change of pace, the pond decided to revert to our Gracie ... only to discover that once again our Gracie is dabbling in righteous payback ...

They're a funny mob in Victoria, and our Gracie's maintaining the rage is part of the fun. Never mind comrade Dan carelessly losing a few ministers - though perhaps four is a tad more than careless - our Gracie still wants to stick the boot into Josh ... and yet it was her kissing cousins at Sky News that were feeding the fodder to the faithful ...

Sure there were a  realists in those reports...

One senior Liberal party figure told The Australian there was "no guarantee" Kooyong can be won back from independents.

"Everyone in Hawthorn (an inner-eastern suburb in Kooyong) is running around in sandals and eating tofu. It’s gone," the source said.

Has our Gracie taken to munching on tofu and wearing sandals in Melbourne in winter?

Silly culture wars? Did our Gracie just call out Dame Slap for her silly tranny bashing? There are still days when the pond wonders what our Gracie is doing scribbling for the reptiles. Isn't she aware that she's in the heart of darkness?

Oh wait, that jibe about sandals and tofu really did get to her ... she must have spluttered into her tofu about it ... (relax, the pond is only imitating Dame Slap imitating Rickie Gervais, tofu is fucking hilarious, and as for sandals, what a larf, and as for a tofu eating, sandal wearing tranny, shush, or Dame Slap will split her sides. Sorry, apparently black people don't eat tofu or wear sandals, so we can't go there) ...

Actually if the pond might amend that thought ... it's not just the party hierarcy.

It doesn't look as though the reptiles are coping well. The pond provided ample evidence of that yesterday ... with the dog botherer preferring hate to love, and feeble excuses to policy ...

What a big sook, what a cry baby, what a hater of lurve ...

And so to the bonus, and here the pond faced a dilemma. For a moment it seemed that the pond might even have to revert to the oscillating fan, when suddenly the Killer landed to pour bullshit on troubled waters ...

The people decide, just as they do for practically everything else? Only a fuckwit of the first News Corp water could scribble that sort of self-satisfied white male thought ...

Meanwhile, the patsies were showing a few signs of regret, what with being all day suckers that decided for other people, by deciding to vote for others that women shouldn't be able to make any decisions about their bodies themselves ... as you'd expect of the Taliban or fundamentalist Xians reared on the old testament (though the pond should add a special mention of it being carried to an extreme in that Netflix doc, Be Sweet: Pray and Obey, which was/is a truly astonishing cult, down there with the mango Mussolini tribe).

The country's now caught the Taliban bus, and it's up to the likes of Killer to dissemble, confuse, conflate and minimise the damage, because that's what reptiles are paid to do ...

"For a time at least", "relatively rare", yadda yadda, horseshit ... it's already producing bizarre contortions and distortions ...

Meanwhile, it's all hunky dory back in the land of the News Corp white male ...

As for the Killer's originalist bullshit, there are plenty of other things not mentioned in the constitution, what with it being drawn up a little while ago, before horseless carriages became the rage ... and that's just an excuse for fundamentalist ideology of the kind you might expect from a judge married to a devotee of coups ...

Contraception, back to the old days of criminalising homosexuality, giving SSM the flick? It's all that the tranny bashing Gervais and Dame Slap might dream of, a consummation to be devoutly wished ...

Meanwhile, the Killer is still on the minimisation kick  in his final gobbet...

Overblown? The pond might wish Killer had a coat hanger shoved up his arse so he could talk about the overblown, though the pond did like the idea of making vasectomies compulsory for condescending white male scribblers ...

So a basic right to control your body is outsourced to the federal government or to large corporations? 

Just about everything the Killer scribbles is undiluted horseshit of the most offensive kind, but he really excelled himself in this outing, and the only benefit the pond could see was that it avoided time with the oscillating fan, offering up a standard bit of pious white bread bland both siderism on the matter of Bandt and the flag, and embracing differences, and so oscillating on and so oscillating forth, and pretending to be a voice for reason inside the reptile temple of madness and mayhem ...

The pond did the research on the fan, but decided he's such a tired mealy mouthed fop, there was no need to go there.

Instead the pond is happy to finish off with a couple of cartoons, because it's been too long since TT has turned up ...