If you think about it for a nanosecond, there's a lot to be said for comparing Telstra to AT&T.
Where's John Oliver when he's desperately needed?
He did a great job of deconstructing AT&T and its behaviour in relation to OAN.
And yet here we have had Telstra and Foxtel joint venturing away, and of course that brings Sky after dark to mind, and what a pack of raving ratbags that brought into the world …
This is all by way of an elaborate explanation of why the pond is taking a little break.
You see, there was a flash followed by an almighty clap of thunder, and then the full to overflowing intertubes immediately vanished from the pond's life.
Routine maintenance, said Telstra's deftly lying support team.
Of course they lie, it's what they're trained to do.
Hours after the "routine maintenance" was allegedly supposed to end, the grudging liars grudgingly admitted that something had gone wrong.
But by then it had become an NBN problem, and the ghost of Malware hovered into view, clanking chains and howling, as ghosts are wont to do.
It turns out that the NBN works bankers' hours, as you might expect from a company inspired by Malware to deliver the very best world class solutions.
So they graciously suggested they might be able to do something about it by next Monday afternoon …
In the meantime, this note has been posted via a piece of barbed wire connected to a stocking. This is not the way to blog in style, so it's farewell to the reptiles for the moment.
The pond will return by the grace of Telstra and the NBN at some point in the future… in due course, as they say, with a banker's humble attitude, with a Malwarian sensitivity to those not connected to the world ...
Also in due course, there's likely to be a further outage, as the pond changes its supplier, and there's a messy transition phase.
You see, not only do they have the cheek to boast about their "service," Telstra wants to charge more for it.
Well as John Oliver might say, fuck that for a joke, and in the meantime, all the pond can suggest is that readers humbly stay true to the reptile cause of fucking the planet ... because we've made a really good start with a fucked NBN ...