What a reptile cavalcade, what a cornucopia ... Lloydie of the Amazon, the bromancer and Dame Groan (and the Caterist skulking at the bottom) ...

 

Talk about an overload. This day the reptiles went into overdrive, with many of the pond's favourites out and about, and the pond's chip fried, like a transistor radio left out too long in the Tamworth sun.

Luckily the top of the "news" story could be dismissed to the intermittent archive ...

EXCLUSIVE
Wear something ‘really f—able’: nasty side of Atlassian’s ‘assassins’
Atlassian has for years trumpeted its industry-leading culture. But a new book reveals startling tensions over the official company narrative.
By Perry Williams and John Stensholt

It's news that Faux Noise's devotion to sexy blonde attire is shared by tech bros?

So too could the bouffant one, nobly pursuing the 'melongate' jihad ...especially as the brave warrior could only wring a two minute read out of the crisis.

PM’s ‘melons’ gaffe was bad – Plibersek’s defence is worse
Self-described women’s rights advocate has refused to criticise PM’s crass remarks about Kylie Minogue and a female foreign leader.
By Dennis Shanahan
National Editor

But still that left the bromancer, the quarry-whispering Caterist, Dame Groan and Lloydie of the Amazon.

Where to start, what to do?

The reptiles made a big splash for Lloydie, featuring a gif that showed the reef moving from dismal desert to triumphant blooming flower ...

Besides, the pond rarely hears from Lloydie of late, and had been unduly disturbed by all that idle talk of droughts, wildfires, and sundry other climate disasters.

What the pond needed was reassuring words, with Lloydie of the Amazon and the Riddster triumphant ...

The header: Great Resilient Reef: reports of wonder’s death have been wildly exaggerated; New data have revealed Great Barrier Reef coral cover has rebounded to near-record levels across all three regions following a recent mass bleaching event.

The caption for the lead still, which disappointingly didn't replicate the grand animated gif on the main digital page: Coral cover on the Great Barrier Reef is at near-record levels across its 2300km length from Cape York to Bundaberg. Picture: The Australian Institute of Marine Science

It was time to put all those doomsayers and neighsayers in their place, and the Riddster was the perfect guide ...

Despite decades of scientific consensus that it is facing a catastrophic climate change triggered demise, the Great Barrier Reef is refusing to die.
The latest results from the Australian Institution of Marine Science shows that coral cover on the reef has bounced back from mass bleaching in 2025 and early 2026 and remains at near record levels across its 2300km length from Cape York to Bundaberg.
The AIMS long-term monitoring program confirms the GBR maintains its resilience and ability to recover from disturbance, saying coral cover across all three regions of the reef, the northern, central and southern GBR, increased slightly or remained at similar levels to those recorded last year.
AIMS does not report a combined figure for total reef cover but marine physicist Peter Ridd said the results showed that for all of the past five years, the raw cover on the reef had been higher than in any of the previous 35 years.
He said five bleaching events – in 2016, 17, 20, 22 and 24 – had not produced a major drop in coral cover.
Dr Ridd said the AIMS data showed that the major cause of temporary coral loss over the decades had been from cyclones and crown of thorns starfish plagues, both of which were entirely natural. “There is no evidence that these are any worse than in the distant past,” he said.

Everything's fine, everything's hunky dory, the planet's never been in better shape, and there were graphs ...

Some might think that Lloydie and the Riddster were in the grip of a heady triumphalism, but after all those slings and arrows from "experts", it was time for them to strut in the tropical sun ...

The results follow a major ­global study by Macquarie University that used machine learning to evaluate decades of real-world ­observations to identify 165,992sq km of potentially ­climate-resilient reef locations spanning 71 countries and 100 territories and jurisdictions.
About one-third of the Great Barrier Reef was judged to be resilient to the impacts of climate change.
According to the latest AIMS survey, an annual snapshot of coral cover on the reef showed that in the northern region from Cape York to Cooktown, it had increased by 16.7 per cent relative to 2025 levels (from 30 per cent to 35.1 per cent).
The central region from Cooktown to Proserpine increased by 10.2 per cent relative to its 2025 levels.

However you cut it, it was good times for reefs and planet ...

As for those bloody useless neighsayers ...

The southern region from Proserpine to Gladstone decreased by 2 per cent from 26.9 per cent to 26.4 per cent, which is within the margin of error. ­Announcing the results, AIMS said the GBR was in a comparatively better condition than many reef systems worldwide, which had been heavily impacted by the fourth global bleaching event and other pressures.
“However, the increased frequency and extent of bleaching events in the last decade are unprecedented,” AIMS said. “Climate change remains the greatest threat to the reef, along with other pressures from more localised sources.”
Scientists have been warning about a collapse for decades.
In 2007 they warned that under conditions expected in the 21st century, corals would become increasingly rare on reef systems.
A 2024 paper in Nature, Benjamin et al, said climate model analysis confirmed that human influence on the climate system was responsible for the rapid warming in recent decades.

Nonsense, climate science is just a cult, the sort of secular replacement for declining belief in old fashioned religions. Time to put those preachers in their place ...

Did silly cultists hearken to these fools? Hear thou the words of Lloydie and the Riddster...

“This attribution, together with the recent ocean temperature extremes, post-1900 warming trend and observed mass coral bleaching, shows that the existential threat to the GBR ecosystem from anthropogenic climate change is now realised,” it said.
A 2026 paper in Nature communications, Eakin et al, said the impacts of ocean warming on coral reefs were accelerating, with the “near certainty that ongoing warming will cause large-scale, possibly irreversible, degradation of these essential ecosystems.”
“With heat stress levels during this event surpassing those observed previously, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration developed more extreme Bleaching Alert levels that are now being used during the ongoing Fourth Global Coral Bleaching Event,” the paper said.
After UNESCO declined to put the reef on the World Heritage “in danger” list last month, Greenpeace said “the reality is that this global icon is still in deep danger from runaway climate heating, coral-killing deforestation run-off, ocean acidification and coral bleaching”.

What would those greenies know, with their minds full of climate science?

Why with a bit of luck, Australia will be blessed with a stupendous bushfire season this summer, so that the bush can be cleansed and made right, just like the reef ...

And so to the final part of the homily, with all shipshape, present and correct, and the Riddster singing his sweet song of reef joys...

“With these compounding pressures and a record El Nino around the corner, action to protect the reef has never been more urgent,” it said.
Releasing the latest data, AIMS said the findings showed many reefs retained the capacity to begin recovery after major coral loss, when given the opportunity. “Unlike the impact of the 2024 mass bleaching event, the 2025 mass bleaching event resulted in limited coral loss,” AIMS said.
“This likely reflects its lower intensity and shorter duration, highlighting that bleaching events do not always have the same consequences.”
AIMS Long-Term Monitoring Program leader Mike Emslie said the reef had experienced a summer of above-average sea temperatures, but the late summer monsoon activity, which increased cloud cover and reduced sea temperatures, likely limited the severity and extent of bleaching in the 2025-26 summer.
The reef faced other impacts from flooding and two tropical cyclones, including Narelle, but most of the surveys for the latest report were completed before its passage as a category 5 system over the northern region in March.AIMS does not give a reef-wide average for coral cover because Dr Emslie said it would be an “overgeneralisation of what is going on on the reef”.
“Our view is we should be looking at things on a smaller scale to get an appraisal of how different parts of the reef are fairing,” he said.
Dr Ridd said the latest data on the GBR indicated it was in good shape.
“It happens to have a great deal of coral in 2026 because there have been few major mortality events over the last five to 10 years,” he said.
“The five bleaching events since 2016, which have been widely reported in the media, could not have killed much coral otherwise the 2022-26 statistics would not be so good.
“The data since 1986 shows every region, every sector and most reefs have had periods of very low coral cover. This is entirely natural. The data collected by AIMS shows that the GBR is a robust system with rapidly fluctuating coral cover.
“We must expect that sometime in the future, a sequence of events will cause the coral cover to halve, as it did by 2011. We must then remember that this is almost certainly natural.”
Dr Ridd said recent bleaching events had killed very little coral, and that the institutions had been exaggerating the impact of those events.

What a relief, and with the reef never having been in better shape, the pond could quickly move on to the salvation of the country.

The pond skipped past Ben, packing it in his usual way ...

EXCLUSIVE
Marles’ missile boast slammed as ‘performative procurement’
The Albanese government is claiming credit for buying air-to-air missiles that are yet to enter service and aren’t due to be delivered to Australia for years.
By Ben Packham

A teaser trailer would suffice because there was only one important note in the piece ...

The pond had been operating on the notion that there'd be a war with China by Xmas, but it seems that the war will now take place in 2027 ... and with war just around the corner, who better to show the way than our very own Reichsmarschall des GroßAustralisch Reiches?

The header: US nuclear-armed boats based in WA will make us more secure; The US plan to send 2300 personnel and up to four submarines at a time to Perth is the best news Australia has had in defence for decades.

The caption for a stern-looking loser: Defence Minister Richard Marles at the 50th National Labor Conference in Adelaide Picture: NewsWire / Brenton Edwards

After mad king Donald's stunning defeat of Iran, his splendid peace initiative for Gaza, and his incredibly able repelling of Vlad the impaler, is it any wonder that the bromancer would seek shelter in those broad, if somewhat bruised, arms?

The revelation that the US plans to send 2300 personnel to Perth to support its Submarine Rotational Force, that it could rotate up to four submarines at a time through Perth and that the length of these rotations will be entirely up to Washington, is the best news Australia has had in defence for decades.
Frankly, I’d much rather entrust Australia’s security to the US Navy than to the Albanese government. Indeed, the only part of the entire defence and national security portfolio the government has handled really well has been developing the relationship with the Pentagon.
Defence Minister Richard Marles is good at defence diplomacy. He’s terrible at everything else.
The areas where he has demonstrably failed are legion – delivering capability, delivering budget resources, addressing urgent deficiencies, producing a coherent sense of what ADF operations may look like, producing budget transparency and coherence, meaningfully reforming procurement, injecting urgency into the bureaucracy or the military. Unauthorised drones penetrating our undefended air force bases is a classic illustration of our unpreparedness across every domain. On all that, he’s a dismal failure. But on the critical question of US alliance management, he has done quite well.
And he’s better than Defence Industry Minister Pat Conroy. The sheer size of US resources to be deployed in Perth makes Conroy’s wacko comment that nuclear weapons in US subs after 2032 would not be a problem because the sub rotations would come to an end in 2032, which comments he had to recant a few days later, even more mystically indecipherable. If there are to be tactical nuclear weapons on some US subs, we should welcome this.

Indeed, indeed, let's nuke Perth, heck let's nuke the country, and why not think big and nuke the world?A US nuclear submarine during military exercises in the Atlantic Ocean in 2022.

Where once the bromancer was inclined to be malcontent, this day he was super content and happy ... a realist ready to blow up the planet if that's what it took ...

We actively and happily shelter under the US extended nuclear umbrella. Occasionally we have to face reality.
There has been much talk about whether the US subs in Perth will constitute an American base. ALP policy is against foreign military bases during times of peace. But as a simple matter of fact, US subs and their supporting structures won’t become a formal base. In reality, the status of a US base would make no real difference to Australian control anyway. Host governments have full knowledge and concurrence. A number of European US NATO allies prevented Washington using its own bases in those countries to prosecute war in Iran.
However, if the US has two or three submarines in Perth at any time, that’s a formidable force and they’re not just there to train Australians. As usual, the Albanese government is utterly incoherent.
Occasionally Marles talks about Australia participating in US-led deterrence. Very occasionally, Foreign Minister Penny Wong says something similar. Mostly she talks about strategic equilibrium which implies deterrence, which implies US and Australian forces acting together. Anthony Albanese almost never talks of deterrence, and never allied deterrence.
Unlike US NATO allies, Australia has no common battle plans with the US, though it’s widely reported the Trump administration, particularly Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth and senior Pentagon leaders, want such plans. These would not remotely compromise Australian sovereignty. Any nation can decide to join, or stay out of, any military action, whatever contingency plans exist.
But if the US and Australia are to mount joint deterrence they ought to plan how they might work together in the event of conflict. Obviously the only candidate for adversary in such a conflict is China. But it’s the beginning of wisdom to recognise that effective deterrence is the most likely way to avoid military conflict.
Within the government, Marles would be the most likely to want to develop such plans. He has sometimes spoken of the role Australian geography plays in US military planning. But Albanese, and presumably Wong, would be against such joint planning as it might provoke the Labor Left and activist base. Naturally Marles would be unable to deliver.
In the meantime the left’s critique of AUKUS is even more barmy than the government’s constipated, spasmodic AUKUS defence. Gareth Evans’s contribution to Peter Garrett’s AUKUS inquiry is a classic.

Why not get on board with Kegsbreath? His incredible performance in Iran is just the sort of thing to create confidence when we go up against China in 2027.

Talk about the joys of AUKUS ... Former foreign minister Gareth Evans. Picture: AAP

Now in the past the bromancer has been pretty gloomy about AUKUS.

Here's one example from quite a few:

AUK-ward truth: the sinking feeling behind our subs pact, Australia has paid the US another billion dollars for submarine manufacturing capability despite AUKUS facing production delays and Britain’s naval crisis threatening the entire partnership.

But all that's forgiven and forgotten ...

Evans was a fine foreign minister but, like many good Labor ministers, out of office he has drifted ever leftward. He advances four propositions common in the left’s attack on AUKUS that are laughably wrong.
One, he repeats the claim that eight Australian nuclear submarines would make no difference to the military balance. That’s rubbish. The US has about 55 nuclear attack subs it must deploy all over the world. Eight is a significant difference. If you have eight you can reliably deploy only two or three. If you have 55 at best you can deploy 15 or 20. The problem is not the number of our subs but that they will take so long to arrive.
He argues that the only strategic purpose of our nuclear subs would be to track and attack Chinese ballistic missile nuclear weapons-carrying subs.

And what's wrong with a war on China, as if they had any sort of kit that would match the skills of Pete Kegsbreath and his incredible ability to stash away missiles for future use ... People walk past an illustration of a Chinese nuclear submarine at the Military Museum in Beijing in 2024. Picture: Greg Baker / AFP

Let's hear it for the subs...

That’s completely bonkers. Submarines are one of the most versatile military platforms. It’s true the best counter-submarine force is submarines, but they are critical in a thousand other contexts.
As Julia Gillard once explained, despite their expense subs have an asymmetric quality in that they can attack so many different military assets in so many different locations that they’re very hard to defend against.
Evans asserts that beyond Taiwan, China would never mount territorial aggression against anyone else. That’s ludicrous. Evans seems to contradict, or be unaware of, the statements of China’s President Xi Jinping, who routinely tells his own troops that they must prepare for war. Beijing’s pattern of aggression in the South China Sea and north Asia, its grey-zone conflict, its cyber attacks, its political interference campaigns, its descent into one-man dictatorship, its massive armament-building, all apparently convince Evans there’s no realistic chance of Beijing engaging in military aggression.
It’s possible to argue Chinese military attack on another nation is unlikely, but it’s not so unlikely that it shouldn’t influence military planning.
And then he rejoices in the fact that ANZUS does not automatically commit the US to military action in defence of Australia. As Evans surely knows, no military alliance is legally enforceable. The depth of the US-Australia alliance and the presence of US forces in Australia make mutual assistance much likelier.
Alliances are two-way streets. We get enormous benefit from the US alliance. We need to contribute as well.

It was a great relief that the bromancer had been distracted, and so was Dame Groan, and so there'd be no reptile squawking about gambling ads, what with the News Corp tabloids reliant on footy, and footy in love with gambling, and Labor in love with the whole damn thing ...

And so to the ancient Groaner, and no matter the length of this post already, including Dame Groan was obligatory. 

There was no way the pond could disappoint her massive fan base:

The header: Labor must bite the bullet on its immigration mess; The Albanese government declared Australia’s migration system ‘broken’ nearly two years ago, but is yet to fix it, with temporary migrant numbers now approaching 10 per cent of the population.

The caption for the snap of a grinning deviant sent to torment the old biddy: Minister for Home Affairs, Immigration and Citizenship Tony Burke MP Picture: Richard Dobson

Sure it's just more of the same, bees buzzing in the old biddy's noggin about the dangers of all those furriners ruining her lunch, but it's important to be aware of the cumulative impact of incessant repetition on the hive mind:

There was a great deal of information in last week’s decision by Home Affairs Minister Tony Burke to cancel his speech at the National Press Club. It was widely anticipated that he would announce a series of changes to the migration settings that would have the effect of lowering the ­migrant intake. The Albanese government’s migration policy is in disarray, it would seem.
We had already learnt that Burke had instructed his department to prioritise onshore over offshore applicants for permanent residence, thereby reducing the observed figure on Net Overseas Migration, the difference ­between long-term arrivals and long-term departure.
Recall here that the Albanese government has consistently failed to meet the NOM targets set down in each budget, overshooting them in each case.
In the 2022 October budget, it was stated that “NOM is assumed to continue in line with pre-pandemic trends at 235,000 from 2022-23.” The actual figure for 2022-23 was 536,000.
This financial year, the NOM target as set down in the budget is 245,000, with the most recent NOM figure coming in at 306,000. A lot of work will be required to achieve this outcome as well as the target of 225,000 for the following financial year.
The fact is that both Burke and the previous minister, Clare O’Neil, have been aware of the weaknesses in the migration policy settings for a very long time. The increasing irrelevance of the permanent migration program has been apparent to everyone. Demand-driven temporary visas are the main source of new migrants and many of them seek to game the system to prolong their stay in the country.
The point we have reached is that there are nearly three million temporary migrants in Australia, although we should probably subtract New Zealanders who have a legal right to come here. Even so, temporary migrants make up close to 10 per cent of the population, an all-time high.
O’Neil had gone to the trouble of commissioning a former senior bureaucrat, Martin Parkinson, to write a report on the migration challenges. In March 2023, she declared “Australia’s migration system is broken, it is unstrategic, it is complex, expensive, it’s slow … it’s not delivering for the nation.”

She allows Kiwis to stay?

That's mighty big of her, even if they can't talk English, what with blather about fush and chups, and here's a snap designed to send Dame Groan right off ... Clare O'Neil MP, then Home Affairs minister, addressing the National Press Club in Canberra in 2023 Picture: NCA NewsWire / Martin Ollman

Dame Groan was sounding just like Alice, falling beneath a pack of furrin cards ...

These were strong words but were never followed up with practical solutions. The most telling indication of our broken system is the alarming rise in the number of people on bridging visas. Prior to the pandemic, there were around 100,000 people living in Australia on bridging visas. In March of this year, the number was 432,000. This was an increase of 14 per cent on the previous year.
The flood of international students, a proportion of whom are not motivated by receiving an education but obtaining permanent residence, has been one of the main reasons for the surge in migration.
This trend had become apparent prior to the pandemic but, even so, the numbers have continued to rise. There were more than 600,000 student visas in March this year, compared with 460,000 in December 2019. Associated with these numbers has been the rapid increase in the numbers on temporary graduate visas, which now number around 260,000.
Less widely recognised is the surging number of Working Holiday Makers, with current numbers around 237,000, a rise of 6 per cent over the previous year. Special concessions for UK citizens have contributed to this trend.

At this point, some might be wondering if anyone could or should be let in. 

The pond is glad you asked, because the reptiles provided a snap of the right sort of furriner, British visitors dress up for Australia Day celebrations around Sydney Harbour.

You see? They're just visitors, they can turn up and drop some cash, and then they can bugger off home ...while Dame Groan must grapple with the way we'll all be rooned by Xmas (and not just from China bunging on a do, but because all those bloody Chinese keep turning up):

The number of temporary resident (skilled employment) has also been rising strongly, currently numbering around 256,000, an increase of a quarter over the previous year.
The overall picture is of a program that lacks proper controls and is driving excessively high intakes while dissuading departures. The proliferation of migration agents with detailed knowledge of the legal provisions of the visa system has led to many migrants stringing out their stay in the country while bringing in potential partners on tourist visas who then apply for bridging visas. Bridging visas entitle holders to access Medicare.
Without the benefit of Tony Burke’s speech, we can only speculate on what policy changes he would have outlined to reduce the net flow of migrants. Three have been mentioned: swifter action on onshore asylum-seekers; reduced residence times for WHMs; and offshore application for family visas.
In terms of asylum-seekers, it’s worth quoting former immigration official Abul Rivzi: “The total number of asylum-seekers in Australia under Labor increased from about 94,000 in May 2022 to 121,000 in February 2025. The number of asylum-seekers refused at primary stage and still living in the community increased from 68,000 in May 2022 to 93,000 in February 2025.” A great many of them do not come from countries that would be deemed to be a risk to citizens – for example, Malaysia.
One approach is to classify countries according to this risk and to create a fast-track means of dealing with those from safe countries. This would involve rapid enforced departure.
One proposal for dealing with WHMs is to introduce a lottery for extended stays. There is also a case for removing the preferential treatment for UK citizens, although there may be some impediment to doing so because of the intergovernmental agreement struck some years ago.
The final method of insisting on offshore application for family visas may seem harsh, but bear in mind that most migrants, permanent and temporary, are currently entitled to bring secondary applicants, which covers spouses and children. In the UK, undergraduate international students are not entitled to bring partners with them, a restriction that doesn’t apply here. Any change must be seen in an overall context.
The real conundrum is why the Labor government has taken so long to clean up the migration program and to ensure the NOM settles at a manageable (and politically acceptable) level. There is no doubt that pressures from the education sector, parts of the business community, property developers, even state governments have weighed on the decisions made or not made by the government.
The Treasury has also been playing a role in providing misleading figures on the fiscal costs of reducing the NOM, as well as overstating the economic and budgetary benefits of high migrant intakes. Even on Treasury’s own figures, the only two types of migrants to make a positive lifetime fiscal contribution are employer-sponsored skilled and independent skilled migrants. All others generate a drain. In turn, these two groups make up a small proportion of the total intake.
With productivity and real wages essentially stagnant and voters feeling cost-of-living pressures, the political climate that is conducive to high rates of immigration simply no longer exists. It hasn’t existed for quite some time.
The Albanese government has finally woken up to this fact, but it will be a difficult road to achieve effective adjustments. Targeting a precise NOM figure is difficult enough but dealing with the massive number of temporary migrants living in the country is an even greater challenge.

Is there no end to the old biddy's suffering?

Finally, the pond must confess to being more than usually irritated and miffed by the late arrival of the Caterist.

He missed his Monday deadline, where there was plenty of room to indulge him in a seemly style, and then he turns up the next day and expects to be included in the host of reptile luminaries strutting their stuff?

The pond decided to reduce him to an intermittent archive link. Intergenerational bargain broken in name of fairness

Anyone wanting to do a copy and paste of his verbiage would have go go there, leaving the pond able to dispose of him with a few screen caps ...

So there's nothing to see there, at least for those who think that the Caterist thinking he understands the laws of economics is as risible as the notion that he understands the movement of flood waters in quarries...

The next gobbet was just as silly, with the Caterist getting into Labor mythology as a way of celebrating the joys of feral capitalism in the 1890s ... because this British black sheep loves his jumbucks ...

Indeed, indeed, Gina'spet is all the fault of the Labor party, though there was something about her glowering presence that the Caterist seemed to envy. 

Perhaps he should get out a suitable hair dye?

There was only one bit of the entire text the pond deemed worthy of mention and it came in that final gobbet...

Angus Taylor has elevated raising productivity as the nation’s primary lever for raising living standards and highlighted the folly of using immigration as a Band-Aid for deeper problems.
The seemingly inevitable decline in household living standards under Labor is likely to move the debate in his favour before the next election. The challenge of conducting a serious conversation above the noise, however, is not inconsiderable.
In the event that Albanese wins a third term, Labor will own this decade.

The Caterist just ran up the white flag, surrendered the next election in a massive sulk? 

Albo will likely own the decade, and the jig is already up, and that leaves the poor old beefy boofhead to stare into the immortal Rowe's mirror...

Friends of Dame Groan at play ...

In which Lord Downer and simplistic Simon escape the pond's listicle of reptile reprobates...

 

The pond recently re-watched David O. Russell's American Hustle, which for those who've yet to see this American satirical comedy, began with Christian Bale's character Irving performing an elaborate and excruciating comb over.

Great cast, great movie, but the pond is haunted by what it implies about mad King Donald, narcissist, hustler grifter and comb over artiste supreme.

There's something vaguely indecent about the speculation that has resulted, Trump Goons Reveal Trick Behind His Fluffy New Hair, at a time when the country is at war, and the mad king is plunging the American and world economy into an abyss.

But here we are, and here the lizard Oz is on a Monday, discreetly walking by ... just as any sane person might want to walk past JD ...

(Vance recounted an experience) ... 'recalling how “a glass fell off the wall” while he was attending a conference with a friend and talking about Christianity.
“You know, I think an atheist would dismiss that as, ‘Oh, who cares? A glass fell off the wall,’” he said, adding that to him, “it felt like God trying to send me a message.”'

No wonder couches aren't safe in his presence, but you have to admire god, because She finds some incredible ways to pass on Her messages ...

Meanwhile, in actual news, Benji has told mad king Donald to get lost, he'll go on fighting as long as he likes, because you know, ethnic cleansing, greater Israel; the mad mullahs of Iran have told the mad king he must come to heel, and until then we'll continue in dire straits; and a desperate Vlad the sociopath has cranked up the heat on Ukraine, and might be dragging even more North Koreans deep into the fray.

So what do the reptiles of the lizard Oz do?

Walk on by, and better still, devise a new jihad ...with Ben packing it in an allegedly EXCLUSIVE way...

EXCLUSIVE
Albanese in denial over Japanese PM ‘melons’ joke as ex-envoy warns of fallout
Anthony Albanese denies he made a crude joke out of Japanese prime minister Sanae Takaichi’s ‘melons’
Tokyo’s former ambassador in Canberra warns the ‘insulting’ comment has damaged Anthony Albanese’s standing in Japan. But he is denying he made a crude joke at all.

It wasn't a lizard Oz EXCLUSIVE, this hare has been running for some considerable time.

See for example a column in the Japan Times back on 27th July, Sanae Takaichi: The prime minister nobody defended.

Surprisingly it took some considerable time to bubble to the surface in the lizard Oz, but the wrinkle was to drag in an indignant columnist over on the extreme far right ...

PM’s sexist melon joke was not only ungracious, it betrayed the close bond of our two nations
We are living in an increasingly dangerous world. So please, Prime Minister, enjoy Japan’s sweet melons and focus on what our two countries must do together.
By Shingo Yamagami

Contributor

Close on the heels of this melongate came another attack angle ... drag up Juliar and fling her into the fray, what with her still living rent free in the hive mind, and so always available to reference, what with chaff bags at the ready ...

EXCLUSIVE
Newspoll: Bleak winter for PM as Labor plummets to a Gillard low
Anthony Albanese’s popularity remains at near-record low levels, as One Nation maintains its dominance over the Coalition in the latest Newspoll.
Geoff Chambers

As always in these yarns, the double barrelled Chambers let off his other chamber, because one good blast deserves another ...

COMMENTARY by GEOFF CHAMBERS
Everything’s coming up Julia for PM
The Prime Minister and his government are entering a polling twilight zone many Labor MPs haven’t encountered since the bad old days.

One thing the reptiles left out of the splash header?

Everything’s coming up Julia for Anthony Albanese amid Newspoll blues, but the Coalition’s vote is just diabolical

Diabolism is a reptile speciality, just don't mention the diabolical coalition.

While doing a listicle of the things the pond consigned to the intermittent archive, this was a no brainer.

EXCLUSIVE
Shock at Bondi royal commission’s Frydenberg snub
Josh Frydenberg – the highest-ranking Jewish Australian government minister in history – has not been invited to appear at the final hearing block in Sydney.
By Geoff Chambers and Noah Yim

Nobody wants to hear from yesterday's man, a man notorious for lacking ticker? 

Shocking, but the reptiles were quick to remedy that and provided the loser with a platform...

COMMENTARY by JOSH FRYDENBERG
What we must do now to save our nation
The royal commission must be the circuit breaker
If the royal commission is to effectively bring the hate and violence to an end, it must do two things.

As soon as the pond hears a man with no ticker insisting on "must", and he thinks it's all about "saving the nation" - no one at the lizard Oz has any interest in saving Gaza - the pond turns off, tunes out and drops out. 

Sorry Josh, if you think you can help with the solution, the problem's likely beyond us ...

The pond also had no interest in pandering to Major Mitchell, pandering to Pearson ...

Noel Pearson’s reset puts politicians in their place, and offers fresh hope for nation
Following the defeat of the Voice referendum in 2023, media coverage of Aboriginal affairs fell away. But in truth, it wasn’t the media’s fault. Others were to blame, writes Chris Mitchell.
By Chris Mitchell
Columnist

What's that? It's suddenly become the Voice again?

Fear not, the reptiles apparently just made a typo boo boo in that sub-header, and the opening line in the Major's piece reverted to reptile voice form...

Asked during a panel discussion at Garma in Arnhem Land on Saturday, August 1, whether the media had dropped the ball on Aboriginal affairs since the defeat of the voice referendum in October 2023, this column steered moderator Sally Warhaft’s tricky question down leg side.

The Major is routinely tiresome but pretending the lizard Oz is in any way cared about Aboriginal Voices is tiresome beyond belief, especially as the Major ended with a major suck ...

As the founder of this newspaper and this company, Rupert Murdoch, wrote to Djawa Yunupingu – the Gumatj clan leader today – in 2013 when he visited Arnhem Land in a private capacity: “To all my Australian brothers we have a responsibility to make our great country even greater.”
It won’t be the voice but a deal will come.

Really? MAGA in 2013?

Is there an upchuck bucket handy?

But if this listicle of losers and dropkicks suggests the pond had run out of reptiles, fear not, because - to carry on a Major metaphor - plucky Lord Downer stepped up to the crease ...

The header: How the Liberals can counter Labor’s latest cunning play; The latest tactic from the progressive left – pinched from British Labour – is to bombard voters with the idea the Liberals will form a pact with One Nation.

The caption for the snap of the beefy boofhead from down Goulburn way looking like a startled rabbit caught in the headlights: If the Liberals and Nationals want to win back the sorts of voters they have lost in teal and other metropolitan seats, then a sure way of failing to do that is to talk of an alliance with One Nation.

Lord Downer offered a standard four minute reptile ramble, but at least he took in British politics, though the pond must fault him for excluding Count Binface from the conversation.

For that aspect, you'll have to head off to another place, where the cawing Crowe is keen to help out ... Alien space warrior v right-wing populist: The UK election that is beyond a joke (*intermittent archive link)

His Lordship isn't famous for his sensa huma, and that form continued today as he dropped solemnity bomb after bomb, in an astonishing way ...

It’s quite astonishing how similar British and Australian politics are.
For a start, we both have Labour governments, and they apply exactly the same formula to governing. They like to tax savings and investment. They spend eye-watering sums of money on windmills and welfare. They run up ever-increasing levels of government debt, and they get the same results.
Both countries have anaemic rates of economic growth and declining productivity. Both countries suffer from declining real per capita GDP and sticky inflation. There’s no surprise here. The same policies give you the same results.
So poorly has British Labour been polling that it has recently changed its leader from Sir Keir Starmer to Andy Burnham. Australian Labor is not about to change it leader; however, its polling has dropped below 30 per cent.
Then there is the similarity of the opposition parties. The Conservative Party in the UK is polling around 20 per cent. Yet, just over two years ago, it was the government. Its counterpart in Australia is polling at a similar level, and it too was the government, albeit four years ago.
The insurgent parties – Reform in the UK, led by Nigel Farage, and One Nation here, led by Pauline Hanson – are polling in the mid-20s. In both cases, the traditional centre-right parties disappointed their voters, and some of their voters have switched to the insurgent parties. Both Reform and One Nation have also attracted a slice of Labour voters who are sick of the woke cultural agenda and their associated denigration of national achievements.
But that’s not the end of the similarities between the UK and Australia.

Nor is it the end of Lord Downer making tedious and meaningless comparisons, with only the odd illustration to serve as a distraction ... Andy Burnham and Keir Starmer … Labour’s claim that the Conservative Party could return to government only if it were in an alliance of some kind with Reform is lethal to both conservative parties.

On and on he rambled, in the smug, sanctimonious way he made famous as foreign minister ...

Both Labour parties are making extravagant speeches claiming, in the case of the UK, that the Conservative Party could return to government only if it were in an alliance of some kind with Reform. More than that, British Labour leaders argue that Reform is the real opposition.
No sooner had the British Labour Party been running this line, and, hey presto, up popped its Australian counterpart making exactly the same arguments about the federal Coalition and One Nation. Anthony Albanese and his team say One Nation are the real enemy and that the Coalition could govern only in an alliance with One Nation. Gone are the days when Labor leaders such as Paul Keating denigrated their opponents for tugging the forelock to the British. When it comes to politics, Australian Labor is British to its boot heels!
There is a very crafty electoral rationale behind British Labour’s argument. Australian Labor has cracked on to that. In the UK, Labour judges that if the Conservatives and Reform went into some sort of alliance, then erstwhile Labour voters wouldn’t switch to Reform because of their hatred of the Conservatives. Added to that, right-wing Labour voters who might, in normal circumstances, switch to the Conservatives out of disillusionment with the performance of the Labour government would hesitate to do so because the Conservatives would be in league with Reform.
The judgment is that even if people become disillusioned with Labour, enough of them will think Labour is a better and more stable option than some sort of alliance between the Conservatives and the more right-wing Reform party. I think this judgment is right. The split in the opposition parties in the UK is manna from heaven for Labour.
The same logic applies in Australia. Even if more right-wing Labor voters become disillusioned with the performance of the Albanese government, they would hesitate to vote for the Liberals or the Nationals if they thought they were going to form some sort of governing alliance with One Nation.
Equally, some hitherto Labor voters who are more attracted to One Nation would hesitate to vote for One Nation if they thought they were going to do some kind of electoral deal with the dreaded Liberals. On that basis, they would stick with Labor.
So, whichever way you look at it, be it in the UK or in Australia, for the two Labour parties, it’s a very cunning plan. The question is: How do centre-right opposition parties deal with this?

Lord Downer's answer? Cower at the sight of Nigel making plans, and whatever you do, don't point out he's a 'leet goose on the five million pound take ... Tory attacks on Nigel Farage will only reinforce support for his argument that the old parties are scared of him. Picture: Getty Images

His Lordship reeled away in fear ...

In the UK, there has been intense analysis within the Conservative Party to find the answer to this question. It has come up with two conclusions. The first is that personal attacks on Nigel Farage will only reinforce support for his argument that the old parties are scared of him and giving him the oxygen of more publicity. So from time to time, the Conservatives think they should attack Reform as a party over proposals they have that are unworkable or damaging to the country, but attacking Farage himself is seen as counterproductive. Secondly, they make it clear that under no circumstances would they go into coalition or some sort of electoral alliance with Reform.

There came a final image ... Kemi Badenoch would be wise not to speculate on what happens if there is a hung parliament in Britain. Picture: Getty Images

All that did was remind the pond how it had watched on YouTube The Rest is History mob do over Enoch Powell's infamous Rivers of Blood speech, (it's 74 minutes long so that's the day taken care off), wherein the former University of Sydney classics prof moved on to a form of racist bigotry that would have seen Kemi kicked out of the country

Then it was on to the final burble of Lord Downer, and how proud the pond had felt not to indulge in its usual visual slander ...

Sorry, but not really sorry, what with His Lordship not acknowledging Count Binface ...

Kemi Badenoch and her team know they have a huge task to win back sufficient support to win an election, but they have to campaign to achieve that, not speculate on what would happen in a hung parliament. Or worse still, to talk of forming some kind of electoral pact or even a coalition with Reform. The Conservatives know that is a path to disaster. For its part, Reform talks of eliminating the Conservatives from the electoral map, so it too can see the dangers of talking of an alliance with the Conservatives.
There’s a lesson here for the Liberal and National parties in Australia. If they want to win back the sorts of voters they have lost in teal and other metropolitan seats, then a sure way of failing to do that, and losing even more soft centre-right voters, is to talk of an alliance with One Nation. On the other hand, to win over working-class voters who might be planning to abandon Labor and vote for One Nation, those people might stick with Labor rather than vote for One Nation if they think One Nation is to form an alliance with the dreaded Liberals.
The challenge for the Coalition is simple. It needs to define its objectives for the country and explain the policies it will pursue to achieve those objectives, and, having done that, not waver in the teeth of attacks from the so-called progressive left. Be bold and be brave.

All that meant the pond couldn't talk about another movie it saw over the weekend, perhaps the most terrifying show it's seen since Weapons...

And now because so many had been ignored by the pond and the Caterist had last been sighted burbling away on 27th July, ‘Progressive’ Labor ditches workers for social moralising, the pond decided on a rare offering of simpleton Simon, though he's always keen to help ...

The header: Victoria is first true test of Liberals in the post-1925 One Nation world; Rarely, if ever, has the outcome of a state election been so critical to the fortunes of the federal Coalition. That is how grave things are for Angus Taylor.

The caption for a collage which saw copycat Emilia repeating her homework with a beyond predictable outing: Anthony Albanese, Angus Taylor and Pauline Hanson have much riding on November’s Victorian election. Artwork: Emilia Tortorella

Simplistic Simon took a dire and tedious four minutes to say his piece, but the pond was intrigued.

What on earth was a post-1925 One Nation world?

What did 1925 have to do with anything?

Talk about a hook, talk about a way to create a sense of deep intrigue ...

Rarely, if ever, has the outcome of a state election been so critical to the fortunes of the federal Coalition.
That is how grave it is for Angus Taylor. He is relying on Victorians to reinsure the future prospects of a national brand.
If the state Liberal Party can’t win Victoria, against inarguably the worst government in Australia, the obvious question arises: Where exactly is the pathway back to federal government for the Coalition?
The search for an answer, should Jess Wilson fail, will inevitably land on Taylor’s desk.
It is hard to know just yet how much the replacement of a deeply unpopular Labor leader with an unknown in Ben Carroll affects the equation.
But the outcome is not just about the future of Victoria. The consequences of a defeat could be significant for Taylor as well on a number of levels, including a renewal of factional blame.
A failure to perform in Victoria would deliver a significant psychological blow to the federal Liberals, not to mention a denial of potential political infrastructure delivered through a local party being in government in the second-most populous state.

Once again the reptiles interrupted to show the beefy boofhead still looking like a startled rabbit, Mr Taylor needs to see that the Liberals can prevail against the populist tide.

Or should that be a startled 'roo, because simple Simon seemed to think he might be close to becoming some form of roadkill ...

Spoiler alert. That's the last you'll be hearing about 1925, somehow it had become a post-2025 world (AI, are you there AI?) but credit where credit is due, simplistic Simon managed to scribble this whole piece with just one mention of comrade Dan, which came in this gobbet ...

The party is already denuded of this sort of ballast in South Australia and Western Australia, and is facing another term in opposition in NSW after next year’s March election, which leaves it with Queensland and the Northern Territory as the only Liberal parties in government in mainland Australia – and one is a country party and the other a hybrid.
So Victoria provides the first useful electoral test of whether the Liberal Party at any level can survive in a post-2025 world with One Nation.
While the South Australian election demonstrated the level of threat posed by Pauline Hanson, where a sitting Labor government was never under threat, Victoria will reveal whether the Liberals have an answer to this in a contest where a Labor government is deeply unpopular.
South Australia proved the One Nation phenomenon was real rather than a vestige of polling. Its primary vote was higher than the Liberals and it took four lower house seats off the party in an environment made for a conservative protest vote. The Liberals lost 11 seats in total, finishing with just five seats, one more than One Nation.
Victoria will tell us something even more compelling. As a forerunner of what we might expect in the federal campaign, this is it.
The principal question is whether One Nation can actually prevent the Coalition winning government when Labor should otherwise be unelectable.
A Liberal win is far from assured. The swing required is about 6 per cent and there is a mountain of seats the opposition must win.
While the change of leadership from Jacinta Allan to Carroll may assist Labor, there is no sense yet this will make a difference in washing away the Andrews-Allan decay.
And anyone trying to make predictions about what might happen based on the polls needs to do so with caution. According to Liberals in Victoria, this election will be a case of a very different story in each seat, with the effect of One Nation unknown. Some recent polls predicting a swag of One Nation wins across the state have as few as three voters per seat in their sample sizes.
The most recent Newspoll has One Nation coming off the boil in Victoria, and if this continues to happen, the Coalition will be in with a good shot. As The Australian’s Anthony Galloway reported last week, this is what a consequential vote looks like in a poll with an election looming.

How the reptiles are rooting for Jess to win, because if that happens might not the beefy boofhead dare to dream?

Another collection of figures did little to relieve simplistic Simon of his sense of impending doom, Pauline Hanson, Jess Wilson and Ben Carroll are all vying to make an impact in the Victorian election.

Were all those simple Simon signs of a nervous tic wrong?

Were the tea leaves not falling into the right patterns to sweep away the suppurating decay? Could the runes provide at least a sign of some hope?

Simpleton Simon knew how to do a Tarot reading and send the hive mind home happy ...

Does this suggest some tactical thinking among conservative voters? This theme will no doubt start to feature in the Coalition messaging over coming months; a vote for One Nation is a vote for a continuation of Labor in government.
And this is where there may be some hope for Taylor.
A win in Victoria, or close enough to it, will afford Taylor the benefit of being able to argue that it is possible for a federal Coalition to win government too against a rising tide of populism. Anything less than this, and the implications for Taylor and the federal Coalition become dire.
With the polls calculating two-party, or two-candidate, preferred results with the Coalition in front, expectations are now being set. A failure to convert this would make it impossible for the federal party to dismiss Victoria as simply an unwinnable state using the well-worn political artefact that there is no crossover when it comes to state and federal elections.
This becomes harder to sustain if One Nation performs well, considering it has next to no local policies.
Victoria is particularly important because of how the metropolitan seats will play out. This is where the implications for Taylor become more interesting than the headline result.
Victoria is a critical piece of the jigsaw if the road to recovery for Taylor runs through the outer suburbs of the east coast capitals. A state Liberal campaign that can start to win back outer-suburban electorates would give Taylor and the federal party machine some sort of template from which to work.
While a narrow loss might avoid a deeper angst among federal colleagues, if the Victorians are deemed to have underperformed – by whatever measure they might choose – it will simply emphasise what is probably true anyway: the Liberals have lost their persuasive ability to channel anger at a Labor government into forming one themselves.
Victoria will be the first major test of whether the Liberal brand can recover outside Canberra but will also provide a road map as to how it might recover nationally.
Either that, or it will reveal how structurally broken the Liberal and Nationals parties truly are.

Oh dear, it seemed so strong, and then he had to fling in a dire billy goat butt of the "it will reveal how" kind, with talk of the beefy boofhead's team being structurally broken? 

That uncertainty, that doubt, that lingering fear isn't the reptile way.

Cheer up, it could be worse ...

And as Lord Downer talked of England, how's Old Blighty going?

Beware, the dog botherer is infatuated with Gina's pet, and Polonius succumbs to comrade Dan syndrome ...

The trouble with being inundated, completely saturated by the lizards of Oz, as the pond was yesterday, is that the pond is unable to draw attention to positive, upbeat, uplifting news ...

Extreme heat breaks temperature records in central and eastern Europe

Slovakia reaches new high of 42C as authorities in Poland forced to shut down Kozienice and Połaniec power plants

Wow, all the fun of the climate science denialist fair. Talk about bringing joy to reptile hearts.

Could there be anything more exhilarating and exciting? Just like that extended drought in Puerto Rica. Has somebody got a bunch of toilet rolls handy?

And yet sadly early in this weekend the pond couldn't sight hyde nor hare (hair only reminds the pond of mad king Donald's latest styling) of a standard bout of reptile denialism.

Instead there was the usual bingeing on catastrophism, as with this reheated serve of gloom from Dame Groan ...

There was the usual awesome and utterly meaningless graph gesturing downwards, and the pond only offers an intermittent archive link because it's aware there are dedicated Groaners always searching for a fix.

Labor lobs an economic time bomb into the market
Real estate prices are falling, investors are fleeing and many first-home buyers remain locked out. It’s a correction more damaging than Labor wants to admit.

The old biddy offered what she seemed to think was a rousing finale ...

...In the meantime, investors are fleeing from the housing market, with the withdrawal of self-managed superannuants adding to the retreat. One effect is already showing up in the form of higher rents as investors try to adjust to the less favourable tax regime as well as higher interest rates.
For those tenants affected by crippling rents, the dream of home ownership may be further in the distance. Government meddling in the market has this habit of harming those who should benefit.
Rising house prices may create some political problems but falling house prices are potentially toxic. If there are significant negative effects on the wider economy and unemployment rises, the Albanese government’s salad days will be truly over.

Why did the old biddy revert to an "If"?

Why isn't she bold and bloody? Why does she only hint? Why not "there will be significant negative effects", and "the salad days are truly over", and we'll all be rooned by Xmas, and there will be blood.

And speaking of that movie, will the pond ever see Dame Groan embark on a lyrical triumphalism? 

Offer her version of salad days? Celebrate what the beefy boofhead down Goulburn way might offer the masses ...

...Now something else, uh... and please don't be insulted if I speak about this - bread. Let's talk about bread. Now to my mind, uh, it's an abomination to consider that any man, woman or child in this magnificent country of ours should have to look upon a loaf of bread as a luxury. We're gonna dig water wells here and, uh, water wells means irrigation. Irrigation means cultivation. We're gonna raise crops here where before it just simply wasn't impossible. You're going to have more grain than you know what to do with. Bread will be coming right out of your ears, ma'am. New roads, agriculture, employment, education - these are just a few of the things we can offer you, and I assure you, ladies and gentlemen, that if we do find oil here - and I think there's a very good chance that we will - this community of yours will not only survive, it will flourish.

All done without a furriner in sight. (So they say).

Nah, have a 'toon to celebrate the information future, with the Emeritus Chairman holding his own:

Moving right along, and right in to the middle of a bog standard pond dilemma.

The pond has already passed on sundry weekend reptile offerings, and that left very little left in the larder, and for reasons which will become obvious down below, the pond felt compelled to demote Polonius to last cab on the rank.

And that's how the pond ended up with the dog botherer talking of Gina's pampered pet, as the pair went to and fro.

The header: Democracy under siege as ugly protests force candidates into a security bubble; I wonder if our politicians and activists have learned much at all since the initial rise of ‘Hansonism’ in the late 1990s.

The caption for the stirring image: Little has changed since demonstrators vented their spleen at Pauline Hanson in Adelaide in June 1997.

The dog botherer thankfully was only rated a five minute read, but the pond was also keen to provide evidence for a theory the pond has been thinking of turning into a thesis.

The pond has long contended that the lizard Oz reptiles are deeply sympathetic to Pauline, and if she hadn't come along, they likely would have had to invent here.

Not so deep down - right there on the surface really - the dog botherer is keen on Pauline and hot to trot a ways down the garden path with her.

Please allow the pond to provide the evidence:

As I walked away from Pauline Hanson’s event at a Hawthorn pub in Melbourne on Monday night, the remnants of a rowdy protest mob were hanging around behind police lines despite the drizzling rain.
“Make sure you don’t bump into any black or brown people, racist,” yelled one woman.
It gave me pause for thought, much pause, as it turned out, as I didn’t flinch or turn but pondered as I kept walking.
Across the 30 years since Hanson first burst on to the scene, through some tumultuous times and challenges, I had at least learned a few useful lessons. One was not to respond to feral public abuse. I remembered how as a television reporter in Adelaide in 1996 I was standing on the roof of a TV broadcast truck doing live crosses from outside a Hanson event where the protesters seemed to outnumber the attendees.
At that time, I was pretty appalled by Hanson’s rhetoric, but I too was a hate figure for the political left because my reporting had exposed the fabrication of the so-called secret women’s business of Hindmarsh Island.
When a couple of thugs from the crowd below yelled abuse at me, I snapped back, and the technician running the TV equipment counselled me with some wise advice about how things would get ugly if I didn’t learn to let such barbs go.
He was right (thanks, Wayne), so 30 years later that approach has become second nature.

You see? Once upon a time he was appalled by Hanson's rhetoric, but then he realised he was just like her.

It's straight out of cornball movie lines... "We're Not So Different, You And I"

Put it another way:

If you prick me and Paline, do we not bleed? Possibly a greenish acid in the veins, but if was good enough for predators and aliens. If you tickle us in a woke way, do we not scowl? If you poison us with talk of multiculturalism, do we not die? Or at least blather endlessly about monocultures. And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? Ah, yes, revenge, always the revenge.

And once that notion's established, it's easy to share the humanity ... oh the humanity ...The lessons learnt from the early days of Pauline Hanson in the mid-1990s remain to this day. Picture: Brenton Edwards

This is the way a reptile bonds with Gina's pet ...

I walked quietly from the event amazed that Hanson was back, bigger than ever, stirring up the same antagonism, and I smiled to myself about the ignorance of the protesters as I considered how avoiding people of colour would up-end my social life, family relationships and my marriage.
Hatred and division are back in what is left of the public square and it seems more worrisome than ever. I wonder if our politicians and activists have learned much at all since the initial rise of “Hansonism” in the late 1990s.
Earlier on Monday Hanson held a media conference to launch One Nation’s first batch of Victorian state election candidates at a hotel near Spencer Street station.
Melbourne’s CBD has been hollowed out, to be sure, but still it was surprising to see police officers outnumbering pedestrians on the block surrounding the venue and there were another dozen or more police officers inside.
Across 40 years or more I have been caught up in protests, emergencies and security scares as a journalist, political operative and citizen, and the level of security at Hanson’s Melbourne events was noteworthy. It suggests police intelligence considered there was the risk not only of protesters but also of violence.
For the evening event in Hawthorn, two streets and a major intersection were blocked to traffic so no vehicles could drive on either side of the venue. The main group of protesters was kept 30m from the hotel entrance behind temporary barricades.

After all, if the reptiles stir fear and loathing, it's just the same as Pauline's suffering, which roughly approximates to the treatment doled out to Jeanne d'Arc...Police monitor the anger surrounding Ms Hanson's Adelaide launch of One Nation in June 1997.

From such dire treatment a phoenix rose from the ashes, and conquered reptile hearts, and moved the dog botherer to a weird empathy.

It's because Pauline espouses the approved lizard Oz policies on all sorts of matters, and she offers the chance to once again deny any ethnic cleansing is taking place in Gaza...

This is a new era for Australian politics with a highly polarised political debate playing out after almost three years of hateful pro-Palestinian and anti-Israel protests. We have had ugly attacks and protests launched by the far left and far right, and Victoria’s state election in November will be the first post-Bondi election campaign on the east coast – it already looks tense.
Hanson told me Melbourne was the only place in Australia where she did not feel safe walking the streets. She feels comfortable in regional Victoria.

Could it be a reptile piece without a "whatever", because it's not about the policies, it's a chance to feel the vibe and celebrate Gina's pet as a political force ...

Whatever your views about One Nation and its policies, this does not bode well for our democracy. Here is the leader of a party that leads national opinion polls, has outpolled the Coalition in the South Australian election and the Farrer federal by-election, and is polling above 20 per cent in Victoria, yet she is forced to campaign behind a security force-field. Just how Victorian police will deal with this through to November will be an enormous challenge, with implications for the other parties too. This is a state with an unprecedented crime crisis, yet it must devote vast resources now to political protection. Police and political leaders in NSW (where there is an election next March) and federally will be watching closely. Threats have been reported and prosecuted against the Prime Minister and others in recent times.
When I joined Hanson and her SA leader Cory Bernardi for an impromptu street walk in Adelaide’s CBD just days out from that state’s election in March this year, the reaction from the public was positive and there were no security issues.
But when we stopped for a coffee afterwards a group of socialist protesters turned up to chant abuse at Hanson, and Bernardi and I had to shepherd her safely into a car.
Just how One Nation candidates can press the flesh in the Victorian election campaign will be anybody’s guess, and the way NSW and Victorian authorities have failed to curtail hateful pro-Palestinian protests during the past three years does not inspire confidence. This chilling of democratic campaigning and debate is bound to hinder the Coalition and Labor too, although probably to a lesser degree.
The vitriol directed at Hanson and her team will not harm her politically; the more she is subjected to unreasonable attacks, the more some voters see her as their champion challenging the establishment.

Indeed, and the more she's subjected to devotional texts from devoted reptiles who never question her policies - "whatever" - and who willingly pander to her and parade about with her in the streets, sharing her perils, the more she'll be seen as an approved member of the reptile establishment ...A wall of police hold back protesters outside Newcastle's Civic Theatre during Ms Hanson's rally for One Nation supporters in May 1997.

It is, of course, all the fault of the ABC. Some ruffians insist that she should engage with all the media, but that's not the reptile way ...provided they have access, who cares about the cardigan wearers  and the Graudian.

That's not the real story, the real story is that she's a reptile-approved winner, and all she's doing is conducting dinkum vigorous debate (and any furriner who disagrees can just get the hell out of here):

Yet aside from being totally intolerant of intimidation and threats of violence, most of us, I presume, do not want politicians campaigning from within a security bubble – we want them to be accessible and directly accountable to the public.
In Melbourne this week most of the media focus was on Hanson banning the ABC from her events. The real story was that the party shaking up the looming election contest was doing so within a security cocoon normally required only for a visiting (and controversial) head of state.
It must be said that the ABC’s demonisation of Hanson and its habitual normalisation of violent imagery against right-of-centre figures (Gina Rinehart being the latest example) does nothing to defuse a toxic situation. Its commentators have suggested that One Nation is immoral and illegitimate, which only fuels the nutters, just as its demonisation of Israel throws fuel on the fire of antisemitism.
The secret of democracy is that it has enabled vigorous debate and respectful disagreement to replace physical combat. Conducted properly, democracy allows ideas and advocacy to replace swords and guns.
I guess it follows then that when debate is curtailed and political correctness conspires to shut out some voices and demonise others, hot tempers can replace hot takes.

Indeed, indeed, who wouldn't want to replace swords and guns with democratic ways ...

The reptiles ran an AV distraction featuring the suffering of Gina's pet, almost as bad as the arrows that pierced St Sebastian: Pauline Hanson has been met with protesters as she arrived at the Tower Hotel in Hawthorn

How dare that unruly mob think that protesting a politician is unseemly and wrong?

Don't they realise they should sit down and shut up, and take whatever swill they're offered? Reptiles at the lizard Oz do, and they're like hogs in high heaven...

In an increasingly polarised political and media environment, I fear we are losing the benefits of a robust public square as the pressure valve that a free society needs.
On my television program I love discussing issues with people I disagree with, even if sometimes my audience objects. But it has become almost impossible to get Labor, Greens or teal politicians on to the program unless it is to discuss a point of mutual agreement.
They know I will not shout at them or harangue them, but it seems they would just rather not have their views challenged. I guess there is no need.

There's no need because changing the dog botherer's far right mind on anything is a task beyond Hercules or Sisyphus ...

And now for the moment of conversion, the epiphany ...

When I first had the chance to enlist Hanson as a regular guest I baulked at it because I disagree with some of her ideas and believe her rhetoric has been too harsh and intolerant on some issues. Besides, One Nation had become largely a fringe player.
But now I am glad to have been convinced because while we have agreed and disagreed on air, the discussions have been worthwhile.
And if 20 to 30 per cent of the population agrees with her, then a democratic society should hear and test her views.
Those who demonise and physically intimidate Hanson and One Nation have failed to learn the lessons over the years and are delivering two detrimental outcomes. First, their tactics only boost her momentum, which is the opposite of their intent; and second, they are undercutting our democracy by making political engagement more risky and remote.

The pond has a fair idea of who's undercutting democracy, and it isn't those who've wandered into Pauline's camp and discovered that her ideas have been poached from the lizard Oz.

Golding summed up pretty much where the dog botherer's line about fair and reasonable arguments took him, and while the pond has run it once, there's no harm running it again:

And so to Polonius, and it will be clear from the get go why the pond shunted him down to the bottom of the page:

The header: How 40 years of Labor has damaged the Garden State; When I left Melbourne in 1984, Victoria was known as the Garden State. Now the appropriate number plate slogan might be the pothole state.

The caption for the snap that explained everything: Then Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews with his deputy Jacinta Allan after being re-elected in November 2022. Picture: Ian Currie

Polonius had succumbed to comrade Dan syndrome, a very common reptile ailment, and even worse it had happened on a weekend when most of the reptiles were in recovery from the condition, but that often happens with Polonius, because he's routinely late to the scene:

Every Australian has a vested interest in the economic and social success of Victoria, our second most populous state.
When I left Melbourne for Sydney in early 1984, Victoria was known as the Garden State. It appeared on vehicle number plates from 1977 when the Liberal Party was in office.
In 1985, under John Cain’s Labor government, the slogan was temporarily changed to Nuclear Free State. This move said much about the political direction of Victorian Labor governments. For the change was delusional, since anyone driving around Melbourne would pass a hospital that practised nuclear medicine.
There were various changes through the years. When Labor’s Daniel Andrews became premier in November 2014, Victoria became the Education State.
Following the legacy left by the Andrews and Jacinta Allan governments, the appropriate number plate slogan might be the pothole state. It is no exaggeration to say that those who live in or travel to Victoria constantly complain of dangerous potholes, even on main roads.
Labor prime minister Bob Hawke used to say, with respect to the Coalition, that “if you can’t govern yourselves, you can’t govern the country”.
Today the opposition impressively led by Jess Wilson might say to new Premier Ben Carroll: “If you can’t fill in potholes you can’t govern the state.”

That's a laugh. When the pond regularly visited south Gippsland, the cockies kept on voting in useless National party dingbats, who did nothing about the parlous state of the potholed roads. It took them years and years to come up with a proposal to do something about it, and in the meantime, they kept on arguing with the likes of Moira Deeming about the meaning of headlocks.

With that sort of opposition, the cockies got the government they deserved ...Victorian Opposition Leader Jess Wilson has much to ask Labor about. Picture: Luis Enrique Ascui

At this point Polonius embarked on one of his notoriously one eyed histories ...

It used to be said that Victoria was the jewel in the Liberal Party’s crown. This was true at the federal level after Robert Menzies established the Liberal Party in late 1944.
At the state level, however, the political conservatives were divided while Labor was unsuccessful.
The first majority Labor government came to office under the leadership of John Cain Sr in December 1952. But it fell apart in mid-1955 following the split in the Labor Party. In the mid-1950s the breakaway Democratic Labor Party gave its preferences to the Coalition and Labor did not return to office until 1982 under John Cain Jr.
Between mid-1955 and early 1982, Victoria was governed well under Liberal Party premiers Henry Bolte and Rupert Hamer. But, over time, the party ran out of steam, particularly in the final year under Lindsay Thompson.
Then it was Labor’s turn. After a while the Cain Labor government lost touch. Cain stepped down for Joan Kirner, who lost the October 1992 election to a Coalition government led by Jeff Kennett.
The problem with the Cain-Kirner Labor government was that it spent and borrowed too much. The result was a financial disaster. Victoria was saved by the intervention of the Hawke Labor government with Paul Keating as treasurer. But the State Bank of Victoria was sold to the Commonwealth Bank in 1990 (before it was privatised). In other words, Keating’s intervention saved the Victor­ian economy but not its leadership.

Cue a snap embedded in the past ... much like Polonius, Victorian Premier John Cain with Bob Hawke in June 1985. The problem with the Cain-Kirner Labor government was that it spent and borrowed too much.

The pond let it pass, but then Jeff came into the picture ...

The Kennett-led Coalition won the October 1992 election but lost narrowly seven years later. The Kennett government restored Victoria as a strong economic performer. And number plate slogans changed to On the Move. The state certainly was.
Victoria continued to perform relatively well under the Labor governments led by Steve Bracks and John Brumby that followed.
The Coalition won office in November 2010 under the incipient leadership of Ted Baillieu. He was replaced before his first term ended by the non-charismatic Denis Napthine.
And then along came Daniel Andrews of Labor’s Socialist Left faction who led his party to big victories in 2014, 2018 and 2022 before he stepped down for Allan in September 2023. Alas, it was a throwback to the Cain-Kirner years, with the Andrews and Allan governments spending, taxing and borrowing to finance big projects and expand the public service.
Just as the failure of the Cain-Kirner governments in Victoria contributed significantly to Australia’s recession of 1991-92, so has the failure of the Andrews-Allan government contributed to the weakness in the national economy.
Moreover, Andrews’ obsession with his Big Build plan – the spending of large amounts of money on sometimes dubious projects while allowing the militant CFMEU trade union to control project sites – has had deleterious effects.

The reptiles reminded the pond of a premier best forgotten ... Jeff Kennett with his wife Felicity in October 1992. His government restored Victoria as a strong economic performer.

Jeff as the restorer of the state's fortunes?

Now it's true whenever the pond visits Melbourne that it's reminded of Jeff:

The Zipper is known by many names in Melbourne, most commonly The Cheesestick and The Carrot Patch.  It is an artwork that adorns the CitiLink bypass from Tullamarine Airport to Melbourne which nods its head to two main sources of wealth and income for Victoria, gold (the big yellow pole) and wheat (the smaller red poles).  When the tollway originally opened in 2000 the 70-metre ‘bar of gold’ and the 39-metre ‘wheat straws’ created the illusion of a zipper opening as you rounded a bend in the road and caught sight of the site.
So why do we hate it?  Well, for one thing, many Melburnians have long forgotten what it represents or didn’t know/care to begin with.  Another reason is that when soundproof walls were installed on either side of the road they removed the view of the moment when the zipper opens.  Melburnians now loathe it so much that less friendly nicknames have been given to it such as eyesore, boom-gate and ribcage (which mostly refers to the sound tunnel adjoining the artwork).  Our state Premier at the time when the road and artwork were built was Jeff Kennett, which has led to even less polite nicknames such as Jeff’s Erection (the yellow pole) and Jeff’s Condom (the sound tunnel). (here)

And there were reasons that Jeff was sent packing, as explained by Dr Paul Strangio: Jeff revisited: it was the best of times, the worst of times

...To some extent, Kennett became victim of his own success. As the economic clouds lifted in the second half of the 1990s, what the public had tolerated in a climate of crisis gradually became intolerable. In its second term the government did shift emphasis to metropolitan-focused infrastructure projects, albeit with the participation of private enterprise.
Yet Kennett's overbearing leadership was unreconstructed. He failed to appreciate that his modus operandi was growing out of tune with the return of benign times - or more likely he was incapable of changing his leadership spots.
Unbound leadership has a habit of ending in fatal overreach, and so it was at the 1999 election campaign. Kennett banned ministers from speaking on policy, inspiring a devastating Herald Sun front-page image of government members with mouths gagged, and he refused to answer questions during a testy appearance on Jon Faine's ABC morning radio program.
The Liberal Party campaign celebrated the ''cult of Jeff'': it launched a jeff.com website and commissioned a radio advertisement that featured a youthful male supporter exuberantly declaring, ''Jeff, yeah, he's a legend … Jeff f---ing rules!'' Little wonder the electorate - particularly neglected rural and regional voters - decided to cut the premier down to size.
Viewed against the long-run history of Victorian state politics, the Kennett era is an outlier. Its neo-liberal adventurism was alien to a state that had been the nursery ground for a tradition of (social) liberalism that supported a substantial role for government in economic and social life. Similarly, in a polity that at least since Henry Bolte's era has favoured moderate, consensual leadership, the swashbuckling Kennett stands out as an exotic.

He was a bully and a preening braggart, an upstart peacock who eventually had his feathers plucked, and he was the prime reason that the state went to Labor for such a long time - anything to avoid a repeat of the horrors - with only the unfortunate, hapless Ted Baillieu and the even more unfortunately comatose Napthine breaking the run.

Polonius then moved into a litany which luckily left the conservative free ABC off the hook:

Across the past 40 years Victoria has developed into Australia’s most left-wing state by far. In the process it has become a mendicant, being rewarded through the GST by receiving a greater amount of payments from the scheme than it would be entitled to if it were performing at the level of, say, NSW.
The continuation of a strong left-wing government and, until recently, a soft opposition, has led to hostility to mining as a means of raising revenue through excise and company taxes. Sure, Victoria has raised money through international students but its minerals, manufacturing and rural industries are relatively small. A state cannot live by education alone.
Then there are the all-pervasive regulations and high state taxes and charges along with an obsession to reach net-zero emissions by 2050 irrespective of the cost.
The Covid-19 pandemic restrictions hit especially hard in Victoria because of an obsessive desire of the Andrews government to lock up healthy adults and children. This was particularly harmful to lower socio-economic Victorians who lived in smaller homes with fewer amenities. The Andrews government even denied public play areas to children.
Four decades ago, the level of violent crime in Victoria would have been roughly the same as in other states, taking into account the different population in numbers. Not any more.

Really? Why do they keep grinding away on that old saw because the stats for 2024 shriek that the toads are worst of all ...

And more recent data shows that crime stats are whatever you want to make of them ...

Ebike thefts soar in NSW as Victoria’s crime rate drops for first time in four years
Theft rises in both states, even as Victoria’s crime rate decreases 1.9% on the year before

Victoria has recorded its first drop in crime in four years and fewer young people are offending, but a surge in theft is bucking the trend – mirroring concerns in New South Wales, where a sharp rise in ebike theft has helped drive stealing rates higher.

The Victorian Crime Statistics Agency (CSA) on Thursday released data for the 12 months to March 2026, which showed there were 625,426 criminal offences recorded in Victoria – a decrease of 1,524 or 0.2% on the previous 12 months.
The crime rate, which factors in population growth, also decreased by 1.9% compared with the previous 12 months. It marked the first drop in the crime rate since 2022...
...Meanwhile, data released on Thursday by the Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research in NSW showed crime has mostly remained stable in the state over the past two years, with the exception of shoplifting and stealing offences.
The data showed shoplifting increased by 9.1% in the two years to March 2026 and other stealing offences increased by 3.1%.
The rise in shoplifting was driven by a 17% increase in the theft of clothing and footwear and a 13% increase in the theft of alcohol, while the rise in stealing was driven by a 27% increase in the theft of ebikes, which accounted for more than a third of the 2,080 incidents.
Meanwhile, the number of adults facing court in NSW increased by 10% in the two years to March 2026,
with a third of the growth related to domestic violence.
The data found the overall increase in charges resulted from greater police enforcement rather than a growth in offending.
This includes domestic violence, with the data showing charges for domestic violence assault increased by 13% over the two years despite the number of recorded incident remaining stable.
In recent months, the state’s prison system has broken numerous records, despite crime remaining relatively stable.
NSW’s total prison population is a record high, at more than 14,000 people in March. The most recent data from Bocsar also shows a record number of Indigenous adults in custody, and a record number of DV offenders, which now make up almost a third of the prison population. Last year, there was a record number of Indigenous deaths in custody

Any crime is crime too much, but superficial comparisons between states regarding crime never helps, not when it's just cheap point scoring.

There's damned lies and then there's Polonius's damned use of statistics.

All that was left was a Pellist bleat, and the notion that Victoria's justice system was now a swamp of Socialist Left thinking...

Also the Victorian legal system appears to have deteriorated over the decades. Take the case of Cardinal George Pell, for example. His convictions for historical child sexual abuse were quashed in a unanimous judgment of the High Court. In the proceedings, the Victorian prosecution failed to establish how the crime could have taken place.
In 1984 Victoria had a strong economy, a stable political system and a respected legal system. Moreover, Victorians could travel to Melbourne on weekends without having to confront militant intolerant protesters.
The harsh message is that Victoria has been damaged by the Socialist Left, which has been in office for a long time. New Premier Carroll was a key player in the Andrews and Allan incompetent governments. But at least he is not from the Socialist Left faction.

If comrade Dan was a leftist in government, then the pond doesn't have a clue what "leftist" means...

Just because someone makes a nod towards "socialism" doesn't mean they are that way inclined.

Take it from real lefties ...Andrews saved lives, but was no socialist

The likes of Andrew Bolt (and poor old copycat Polonius) ranted that Andrews was a “global warming extremist” and a member of the Socialist Left faction of the ALP. But despite a veneer of social progressiveness around issues such as abortion rights, gay conversion therapy and the decriminalisation of public drunkenness, Andrews was far from heading some left-wing, pro-worker government.
There is nothing in the least radical, let alone communist, about the ALP Socialist Left or Dan Andrews. The ideological differences between the Labor factions are virtually non-existent. Labor’s so-called left and right these days are simply rival machines fighting to carve up the spoils of office.
The supposed leftist Andrews worked very closely with billionaire property developers and with toll operator Transurban, awarding them lucrative contract after lucrative contract. Labor has also long been in bed with Crown Casino and the gambling industry.
Andrews is best mates with right-wing trucking magnate Lindsay Fox, one of only ten Australians who have appeared in every Financial Review Rich List, or its predecessor, the BRW Rich 200, since it was first published in 1984.
After former Liberal Premier Jeff Kennett ravaged vital public services, Andrews privatised virtually everything left standing, including public housing, the Port of Melbourne, VicRoads, disability services and the Public Records Office.
The Andrews government presided over the running down of the healthcare system and enforced a harsh wage cap that savaged the real wages of nurses, teachers and other public sector workers.
Andrews spent big on rail and road projects but also on prisons and police numbers. His law-and-order agenda of increased police powers and tougher bail laws led to a surge in prison numbers largely for very minor offences. For all the talk of Labor’s progressive approach to Aboriginal rights, it was disproportionally young Aboriginal people that were being locked up.

Well yes, but the point about this age-old socialist slur, as recycled by Polonius? 

With a bit of mangling of words the pond can get there:

The ideological differences between the Liberal and Labor state factions are virtually non-existent. Sure they talk up the differences, but they end up sounding the same once their extreme elements settle down to enjoy the perks of the job. These days the reptiles deploy the notion of catastrophic differences so they can get behind the right kind of Liberal machine, fighting to carve up the spoils of office. 

The pond has never seen a property developer or a gambling industry both the Liberal and the Labor parties can't love.

C.f. Wilcox:

And with that time to celebrate the many ways it could be worse ...

The usual debrief on the madness ...