Sunday, July 21, 2019

In which the pond does a double decker of nattering "Ned" and Dame Slap ...


Why "Ned"? Pourquoi pas? 

The only requirement for a Sunday meditation is a capacity for inducing ennui and a sense of tedium, and in full flight, channeling someone else, nattering "Ned" is a master of the art.

Having copped a full week of the Donald, the pond will likely resort to a simple response, of the "et serpentium, qui tollis peccata mundi misere nobis lacus" kind ...


And yet, for all of that, there's the Donald, chairman Rupert, Fox and Friends, Fox, News Corporation, Hannity, Tucker, and all of that …close-kissing cousins of the Bolter, the Devine, Sky, and yes, it must be said, the bromancer, nattering "Ned" and all the rest at the lizard Oz …

If this is what represents good intentions and good ideas, is it any wonder present and future generations feel deeply fucked? Is it any wonder that the youff of today are tired by tedious old farts blathering on about being a generation being set up for failure, as if News Corps and its serfs and servants were some sort of model for success ...

But do go on ...


And yet, for all of that, there's the Donald, chairman Rupert, Fox and Friends, Fox, News Corporation, Hannity, Tucker, and all of that …close-kissing cousins of the Bolter, the Devine, Sky, and yes, it must be said, the bromancer, nattering "Ned" and all the rest at the lizard Oz …

Oh and social media …follow the ways of your elders and betters ...



But to go on, the pond is pretty sure that the Donald, chairman Rupert, Fox and Friends, Fox, News Corporation, Hannity, Tucker, and all of that …close-kissing cousins of nattering the Bolter, the Devine, Sky, and yes, it must be said, the bromancer, nattering "Ned" and all the rest at the lizard Oz won't be mentioned.

There'll be others to blame, others to berate ...


And yet, for all of that, there's the Donald, chairman Rupert, Fox and Friends, Fox, News Corporation, Hannity, Tucker, and all of that …close-kissing cousins of nattering the Bolter, the Devine, Sky, and yes, it must be said, the bromancer, nattering "Ned" and all the rest at the lizard Oz …

But speaking of vulgar youff, and clich├ęs and stereotypes of the generational kind and social media recycling Fox News stories into the ether, and identity politics, can we have an understanding of practitioners of the art in this particular column?

Luckily the reptiles provided an illustration, which made a nice match with another …


Ah yes, that seems clear enough …wired folk of the white-haired king …adding to the blather and the Tower of News Corp Babel ...

And yet, for all of that, there's the Donald, chairman Rupert, Fox and Friends, Fox, News Corporation, Hannity, Tucker, and all of that …close-kissing cousins of the Bolter, the Devine, Sky, and yes, it must be said, the bromancer, nattering "Ned" and all the rest at the lizard Oz …





But no doubt there's a solution to hand … which won't involve mentioning any of that, because there's so many others to blame, so many others to wring hands about, and shout at clouds and keep lawns clear ...

And yet, for all of that, there's the Donald, chairman Rupert, Fox and Friends, Fox, News Corporation, Hannity, Tucker, and all of that …close-kissing cousins of nattering the Bolter, the Devine, Sky, and yes, it must be said, the bromancer, nattering "Ned" and all the rest at the lizard Oz …




And so to the fundamental problem of fundamentalist religious fanatics, a strand in the United States long before its official foundation …though naturally in the usual way, the coin is flipped, and the talk isn't of religious morality and tribalism, somehow it takes on a secular tinge … (go tell that to Mike Pence and Mother) ...



And yet, for all of that, there's the Donald, chairman Rupert, Fox and Friends, Fox, News Corporation, Hannity, Tucker, and all of that …close-kissing cousins of nattering the Bolter, the Devine, Sky, and yes, it must be said, the bromancer, nattering "Ned" and all the rest at the lizard Oz …

Oh and the Donald chumming about with Epstein, who chummed about - if that's the word - with girls … but let's not talk of ramifications ...




And yet, for all of that, there's the Donald, chairman Rupert, Fox and Friends, Fox, News Corporation, Hannity, Tucker, and all of that …close-kissing cousins of the Bolter, the Devine, Sky, and yes, it must be said, the bromancer, nattering "Ned" and all the rest at the lizard Oz … 

And here comes the final gobbet, and what's the bet that at last they'll get a guernsey? Well no, the pond encourages people not to bet on reptile words, because they always disappoint ...



Might it be possible to pursue the truth and pursue social justice at the same time? Apparently not … better to slide back into the primordial swamp ...



And yet, for all of that, there's the Donald, chairman Rupert, Fox and Friends, Fox, News Corporation, Hannity, Tucker, and all of that …close-kissing cousins of the Bolter, the Devine, Sky, and yes, it must be said, the bromancer, nattering "Ned" and all the rest at the lizard Oz … and of course not once were they mentioned in the analysis, yet right now, for all the talk of all the other problems in the world, this was an elephant trumpeting in the room, and neither Kelly nor Haidt mentioned it …

What Donald Trump and his team are doing to science and social justice, the environment and many other things, requires a mind wipe ...


The pond had an overwhelming desire to tell Haidt to head back to where he came from, and perhaps Kelly should too, though in that case, the pond might meet up with him in Ireland, so where's the benefit?

There's nothing to be learned from Haidt's blather, as channelled like an ouija board by nattering "Ned', and the pond can already feel it receding deep into the swamp-like recesses of the mind ...


And so with mind wiped, the pond turned to Dame Slap for a shallow, devious debate, as the reptiles once again speak out loud and proud against those uppity, tricky, confecting blacks ...



Of course the pond could write this in its sleep. It's simple enough, bugger off tricky, devious blacks, no room at the inn for you …


And so to Dame Slap demonstrating how she too can do a Barr ...



Yes, indeed, the one thing that's certain is tricky, devious blacks can't be trusted, and they will certainly go awry, unlike such expert parliamentarians of the onion muncher - oh will he never return? - and Cory kind ...



Around this point, the pond began to nod off, but perked up when it remembered that in better days, Dame Slap went beyond bashing pesky, difficult, uppity blacks with grandiose ideas … s

She was able to spot the way the United Nations was using climate science to establish world government …so please allow the pond to pause to celebrate with an anniversary …


Meanwhile, it seems pretty fair to say that the reptiles will do their best to defeat any measure, any referendum, any chance of giving the minority original owners of the country a fair shake of the prawn … by drowning them and any ideas of giving them a voice in a barrage of saucy doubts and fears, equivocations and hair-splitting …



You know, it would have been possible for Dame Slap to take a positive view, to make suggestions, propose ways for an indigenous voice to become a reality. But it's not the Dame Slap way … negativity, denial, knocking down, that's the natural Dame Slap way …pissing on people from a low height, as it were ...

It might be possible to hope for a miracle, a way of arriving at some transformation ...


… but not really. Dame Slap's face is resolute, there's no room for pesky, difficult blacks at the inn. The reptiles are agin it, and it's dead in the water, and if any learned ponce comes forward with a proposal, the reptiles will do their very best to mock it and undermine it ...



Read those last few lines, and it's clear where the reptiles stand. 

"It is high time supporters of the voice ..."?

What that really means is that it's low time for haters and deniers of the voice, and Dame Slap is leading the way with her usual hating and denying. She could have elevated the debate, but she preferred to knock. It suits her to designate it a shallow and devious debate, while blathering about constitutional sabotage …

Does she have a model in mind? Of course not, the only model she has is the 'do nothing' model … because, after all, they're only tricky, uppity, confecting blacks ...

Sorry, uppity blacks, Dame Slap will do for you and your voice what she did to climate science … in much the same way as the Donald, Chairman Rupert, Fox, Hannity, Tucker, and all the rest of the reptiles are doing things to the United States and the planet …remember, all of them, including Dame Slap, have donned the MAGA cap ...










Saturday, July 20, 2019

In which Polonius shares his belief in little green men, or at least goes full Bob Brown greenie ...


Say what you will about the onion muncher, his enduring presence and Dickensian way with words - oh okay mystical William Blake if you will - ensures the pond's ongoing loyalty …

Warringah is the new Jerusalem, the onion muncher the countenance divine, and once again, he has pierced to the heart of the matter with his sword-like words, so naturally it was right and so for Polonius to prattle in his wake …


Bob an anti-wind brigade member? Dearie me, could it be, or could he just be doing a Nimby routine of the kind the onion muncher himself was doing?

Brown said he had supported other windfarms in the state, at Granville Harbour and Cattle Hill, but Robbins Island was “a step too far”. “Windfarms have great positives, they are generating renewable energy, which is helping save the planet from the climate emergency and that’s a very big plus. But they are very diverting to people who have an eye to the natural beauty of Tasmania and its landscape,” he said. “There is no doubt about that.” (Graudian here).

So perhaps not a full anti-wind brigade member, more an associate, a fussy half-follower, a delicate eater, and a picker and a chooser, going with projects as the wind blows, and according to the direction of the blowing.

Not really a boycott as the term is understood by people who follow either cricket or the English language:

A boycott is an act of voluntary and intentional abstention from using, buying, or dealing with a person, organization, or country as an expression of protest, usually for moral, social, political, or environmental reasons. The purpose of a boycott is to inflict some economic loss on the target, or to indicate a moral outrage, to try to compel the target to alter an objectionable behaviour.  (Greg Hunters go here).

"Brown said he had supported other wind farms in the state …"

Ah, now the pond understands. It's a really unique* understanding of the word "boycott" by our scribe, and the pond hasn't even got to the first gobbet (*thanks Virginia, and congratulations on the totally unique opportunity to talk exceptionally unique English to Melburnians).

And so to the first gobbet, though perhaps the pond should preface it with the suggestion that if Polonius doesn't love the ABC or the Nine papers, perhaps he should leave them, perhaps he should even go back to where he belongs, amongst the climate science-denying reptiles of the Lloydie kind …


Indeed, indeed, the pond is currently working on a postgraduate thesis explaining that the ABC is responsible for everything wrong in the world, and its wicked deeds perhaps even might explain the rise of the Donald, but for the moment, would it not be piquant to hop in a time machine and revisit Polonius in 2012?


Oh it was shocking stuff, and way too much for Polonius, and once again it was all the fault of that wretched ABC ...


There's more here, but you can see the problem at once. 

The ABC pays far too much attention to Bob Brown and his assorted madnesses and weirdness, and yet the ABC pays far too little attention to Bob Brown and his assorted madnesses and weirdness …

The ABC is exceptionally soft on Bob Brown, except when the ABC ignores him, and that's hard.

And once again, Polonius is down the rabbit hole with his ABC obsession ...


Dear sweet long absent lord, not Jolly Joe, with his eyes offended, but refusing to pluck them out?

Say what?

"…other Australians are entitled to have ready and easy access to this debate"?

Will the reptiles allow this savage Polonial attack on their paywall model to stand? 

Is Polonius implying that the reptiles, Lloydie and the rest don't provide ready and easy access to the debate?


Mmm, oh dear, thanks, with full bait and switch rate on display, but no thanks ...

What do do?

Well surely Polonius should have forsaken his regular attendance at the ABC, and scribbled that other Australians are entitled to subscribe to the Murdochian paywall at the lizard Oz and the Mercury, and if they don't, they must be un-Australian, and should go back to where they belong ...

As for Sherlock Holmes probably once knowing Tasmania as Van Diemen's Land, the pond realises that this is what passes for dry humour in the land of the desiccated coconut, but when reading a pedant, pedantry must reign …

Greg Hunters will be aware that Van Diemen's Land had its name change to Tasmania in 1856 (or so it says here), while Sherlock Holmes first burst upon the world in 1887 in A Study in Scarlet (or so it says here).

That gap is much longer than the gap between Polonius scribbling furiously about little green men, then enlisting Bob Brown in his cause … though it's likely our man Polonius only discovered Bob Brown was handy when Bob could be used as a cudgel against the ABC from a new angle …

Should the pond boycott Polonius? What a terrible thought, when his monomania provides endless hours of distraction, a chance to discover the patterns in the world around us ...

Here, have a Rowe guide to Polonial thinking …


That said, the pond thought that Polonius was a tad out of form and underdone this week, and went in search of another reptile offering just to fill up the endless digital void …

The bromancer is currently doing a survey of dictators, neo-fascists, racists, strong men, authoritarians, autocrats, despots, and illiberal, undemocratic absolutists that are deserving of bromancer support and absolution … and today it was Hungary, though surely the Donald, Erdogan, Kim Jong Un, Vlad the impaler, and Duterte are anxiously waiting their turn ...


Hmm, much to easy … perhaps he should get on the couch at Fox and Friends and explain how the reality of the Donald is terribly benign … 

The bromancer has been on a roll of late …


And so have the reptiles …


So that's where Tarantino got the idea for Samuel L. Jackson's Stephen character in Django Unchained?

Yes, things have been going tremendously well for the Donald's blowtorch, so in an act of wilful perversity, the pond instead decided to turn to our Gracie …


Lordie, long absent lordie, is the Folau matter still a thing?

Only in reptile la la land, but it's important to pay attention to reptile issues and concerns, and our Gracie seemed vaguely alarmed at where things were heading ...


Folau is doing Xianity no favours? 

Should there be a limit to God botherers bothering not just God in Her infinite wisdom and patience, but should gardeners also just stick to actual gardening? Our Gracie was on the Chance the gardener cast ...


Why at this point, most of the reptiles would be reaching for a word like "snowflake", at least if it happened to be some sort of wan secularist, sacked from a teaching position for pointing out that Conan Doyle fell for fairies at the bottom of the garden, and that Polonius might yet believe in little green men, and that conversations with imaginary friends are best left to fundamentalists, or reptiles high on the Donald and strong men everywhere ...


The pond could see where this was headed, and was distraught. It seems our Gracie had caught some sort of secularist bug, and might even have something of a soft spot for gays, and might even stir the Xian pot by having Xians call out a fundie Xian ...


Perhaps this should have been a Sunday meditation, but where would that have left nattering Ned and Dame Slap?

Ah well, never mind, one reptile might stray from the one true path for a moment, but there will always be a Donald, and the wind mills of the mind, and the bromancer infatuated with despots, and Polonius in search of little green men at the ABC, and hasn't Rowe been in excellent form celebrating the Donald's brilliance, somehow summing all of the current reptile madness up, and with more summary Rowe here to help other Australians...