The pond thinks it's been more than fair with the reptiles.
Shots fired across the bow, polite requests to fix the paywall, all ignored, and as for the pond's invoice for the supply of promotional and publicity services over many years, not even the grace to acknowledge the pond's tireless work.
The nerd who has been helping the pond - there's a reason for the un-pondlike formatting which will follow - hadn't ever read the reptiles, and she couldn't believe the awesome amount of shit involved.
She simply couldn't believe what she was reading, but if asked to scale, rated the dog botherer as by far the worst, followed closely by that loon from Adelaide, Lord Penbo ...
As a result, the pond has decided to make that pair a late-breaking Sunday afternoon exercise for experienced and skilled reptile handlers only ...
In the meantime, the nerd rated both the bromancer and nattering "Ned" as simply up themselves prolix ramblers without a clue ... adding that "Ned" did manage to go on a lot ...
No truer assessment could be made, and given the toxic shock the pond was about to experience, the pond decided to slide gently back into the swamp ...
The pond is desperate to maintain some connection with reality, some sense of the real world it experienced when it discovered freedumb ... like this news ...
Astonishing really, though the pond doesn't like to read the both siderist Times, and instead recommends a dose of Charlie at The Bulwark ...
Bloody amazing, and the pond recommends this be kept in mind, along with BoJo's adventures, when sliming the eyeballs with the bromancer ...
And what did British intelligence have to say about BoJo? For that you have to turn to the Graudian, and a thoughtful piece by Jonathan Freedland about the turd-smearing, lying charlatan ...
This is the only way the pond can now cope with reading the reptiles ... propose alternatives, suggest organisations you should consider throwing a few shekels at ... because if you read the bromancer, you might encounter statements of the bleeding obvious, linked to bouts of bizarre loonacy ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, is the pond already chanting "oh just kill me, kill me now, put me out of my misery", and still with gobbets to go on the very first occasion back with the reptiles?
Indeedy do ...
Yes, it's remarkable how the bromancer has turned on a dime, and from proposing a war with China, is now building a solid case for a war with Russia (or perhaps we do them together), but how else to distract from the disease at the heart of the United States and the UK ... the disease of Murdochism, which sees the sliming of enemies and the support of insurrectionists and con artist mango Mussolinis ...
The pond has done its best to suggest alternatives. Some might even consider dipping into a piece by Iannucci at the Graudian ... spoiler alert, this is the last of it ...
It goes without saying that money hungry sociopaths are in charge at Fox News ... but at least the pond has filibustered its way to the last gobbet ...
If any organisation has contributed more to the twilight of the West than the insurrectionist supporting News Corp, the pond would like to learn about it, because it seems to the pond that the canker at the core can usually be traced back to some form of Murdochian blather ...
And so on to that Everest which the pond must climb.
The pond never thought, for one heart-stopping, soul clap hands moment, that it would write that line about the return of "Ned" and his natter, and the need to reach the top of the mountain, even if it was an entirely meaningless and pointless effort, and yet here we are, and what a natter it is ...
There will be no breaks for water, or the toilet, or pretty much anything, just a hard slog up the mountain of words, to reach a shocking discovery at the end ...
Say what? A mission from God?
Sorry, sorry, the pond couldn't stand it, there had to be a joke. Scribbling about a notorious liar and a hypocrite, or so Barners says, a horrible, horrible person, a complete psycho, a fraud, or so others have said, and "Ned" sends him on a mission?
The long absent lord help us all ...
The pond will probably reference it again, but did anyone read that Graudian story about "Good Godly Leadership" and the extensive links between Citipointe Christian College and the Queensland LNP?
We're now in the hands of barking mad fundamenalist Xians, and though the odd one - a decidedly odd one - might step aside to take time to reflect on enormous stupidity and bigotry, there are plenty more standing by ...
Bear this in mind while reading "Ned's" natter ...
By this point, the pond's mind is clouded, fogged, fatigued, there is nothing to do as the oxygen thins out and the base camp is now far below, and the slope grows ever steeper, best just to avoid any outside distractions and press on ...
The pond wishes it could say something, but really when the reptiles think it's a good idea to throw in a snap of the liar and hypocrite beaming at a con artist, an insurrectionist and a fraud, what is there to say?
More reliable senior figures? Who? What? Where? Are we talking John Bolton? That loon? Even he left and so did anyone else with half a clue.
And yet there's no end to the delusion ... as the mango Mussolini, ably supported by Faux Noise, looks to stay in charge ...
And what do these craven forelock tuggers and supine acolytes have in common?
Yes, you've guessed it, they all speak to an imaginary friend, possibly in tongues, and think the rapture is just around the corner ...
Is it any wonder that by this point, the pond was tired, and exhausted? From freedumb back to interminable natter and folly and delusion ...
And then came the truly shocking discovery ...
There was a whole book of this shit out there in the world ...
The pond almost fainted away in genteel Jane Austen fashion at the very thought of it.
Luckily the pond had a couple of Wilcox cartoons handy to help recover some sense of perspective, some sense of an alternate reality to the one the reptiles routinely inhabit ...
"This is an edited extract of Paul Kelley's new book ... published by the Lowy Institute and Penguin."
ReplyDeleteSo it wasn't just a weekend rave by Ned, it's a book, and not published by Connor Court either. Would anybody like to take a guess as to how many copies Lowy/Penguin will sell before it gets remaindered ?
Well I suppose you had to post it, DP: can't claim to be a truly studious reptile investigator and ignore such an Everest of tedious trash. Consider: "The idea that China would offer Australia anything for distancing itself from the US is fanciful. What is Australa supposed to get in return ?"
Now that's just a question of outstanding ...errr... something. What indeed would we get in return and would it be proportional to how far we distanced ourselves from the US ? A couple of ¥billion for a short walk, but entry to the Empire of China for either a long walk or no walk at all ?
But oh my, Ned sure hasn't lost his touch, has he.
A zen master of pompous tedium GB ... it was like the pond putting its eyeballs back into a blast furnace of boredom ... that quote you selected is quintessential, though almost every line contains the same genetic code. If only Dickens was around to skewer this modern Pickwick, or perhaps Mark Twain ... suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a writer for the lizard Oz ... but I repeat myself ... or "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
DeleteI just wonder, DP, who he - and Lowy/Penguin - think will read Ned's tome. And what anybody who reads it might get from it - other than paralysing boredom, that is.
DeleteI think I'd probably rather read that "levelling up" thing - there might even be an interesting idea or two hidden in that ... somewhere.
Oh well, might as well add in the Bromancer: "Yes, it's remarkable how the bromancer has turned on a dime..." Not all that remarkable, I reckon, DP; the Bromancer has been doing a vigorous gyre and gimble in the wabe for a while now, turning and turning in the widening gyre as only a reptile can.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, he did say something worthy of consideration re Putin's doings: "Pause for a moment and reflect - Putin does all this with an economy about the size of Australia's." Yep, on 2021 Nominal GDP figures, Russia's GDP was about $1,647billion and Australia's was $1,610billion. And this with populations of about 146 million (Russia) and 26 million (Australia) - does that say anything about how Putin can do this ?
And so "This, by the way, should throw the astonishingly feeble nature of Australian defence efforts into a merciless light..." Yeah, it does, doesn't it; but then we do have wonderful things such as HMAS Adelaide which can't even sail to Tonga without having a complete breakdown, we have lots of useless F35s and we're now buying $3.5billion worth of tanks and armoured vehicles. For what, I wonder - to sail them off to wage war on mainland China, perhaps ? Or to defend Australia if China should ever invade us ?
Never no mind, though, because as the Bro happily informs us: "The Western response to Putin's aggression in Ukraine has so far been feeble and ineffective. Nether the US, nor any other Western nation, will send troops to defend Ukraine." No, I guess not; probably because none of them want to start a real multi-nation shooting war. Do we ?