In which the pond takes its marching orders from the Major, and joins the floodwaters in quarries man for a history of bad ideas, or at least a celebration of the monarchy ...

 

 

In these times of trouble, with Mary not around to comfort them or offer words of wisdom, the lizard Oz is increasingly looking like state-run Pravda ...

Item: top of the digital page this morning ...

 

 

Be still, beating heart, the pond will get to the Major in due course. 

Instead note there's Killer Creighton talking up AUKUS and nuke subs and the US and all that jazz, as best he can (which isn't much), and there's a remarkable headline: "faith in PM withstands the storm", it being somewhat blowy in Bega, backed up by a celebration of unrepentant PM.

Meanwhile, in another country, another survey ...

 

 

 

Never mind, down below in the lizard Oz, jolly Josh, one of the contenders for leadership, was out and about, pushing the greenie fear line, as jolly joshing Joshes are wont to do ...

 

 

 

And of course the mutton Dutton, the other contender for the leadership, was out and about, beating the drums of war, as faithfully transcribed by the packing ham one, and the Killer himself ...

 

 

 

No doubt Xi and Albo's mutual infatuation explains the emboldened Russians ...

Oh and with a tad of luck, complete disaster might see the mutton Dutton elevated to the leadership, because we'll need a strong man to lead us to the light at the top of the hill ...

And now, as is the pond's duty on a Monday, it's time to report to the Major for the usual media debriefing, and a summary of all the mischievous deeds the heretical media have done of late ...

 

 

Oh sheesh, not "Ned" and his natter, but that reminded the pond that it hadn't noted the fun to be had thanks to the more expert herpetologists and their most excellent reptile studies ...

Back on Friday, there was the venerable Meade celebrating the works of the simpleton Sharri, who, let it be noted, is one of the advisors that the University of Melbourne thought worthy of taking on to help young aspiring journalists ...

 

 

 

 

Crikey had some fun with it too, in a piece which turned up outside the paywall at msn ... but the pond will go with the original formatting ... and this intro ...The Australian shocked, just shocked, us with its front page yesterday, alerting us to “Albanese’s battle cry in war on wealth and family tax”. Albanese, we’re told, “sharply criticised capitalism and family wealth as causes of social injustice” and took aim at “incomes over $100,000”. Except that the “previously unreported comments” happened in the early 1990s, roughly 30 years before he took the revolutionary socialist step of backing tax cuts for higher income earners. The parallels with Nicolae Ceausescu are, frankly, chilling.
It got us thinking — what other positions have politicians endorsed decades ago and explicitly repudiated since… but would make for a good headline?

 

 

 

There were some richly fruity others - jolly Joe Hockey on free universities, Mark Latham on the need for strong laws regulating hate speech, Peter Whish-Wilson on the outdated nature of penalty rates, but a repentant pond must return to the Major for fresh orders ...

 

The pond could attempt to defy the Major's orders, or go AWOL, or pick a fight and remind stray readers how the Major was once duped by a long lost Order of Lenin medal, but would rather revert to a Kudelka cartoon ...

 

 

There, that's better, it gives the pond the strength to tackle the Major's last gobbet ... as apparently he completely forgets News Corp's campaign of vilification, where a pack of braying lemmings joined in the hunt ...(Graudian here)

...In the original segment, MacSween also referred to Abdel-Magied as a “flea” who was both “irrelevant and dangerous”.
“We don’t even give this flea a second thought anymore since she slinked away from this country in disgrace … She’s quite irrelevant but she’s dangerous … we’re actually one of the most tolerant [countries], so I’m glad she hates us.”
MacSween, a former radio host and contestant on Celebrity Apprentice Australia, has been a regular guest on Smith’s “Deplorables” segment, appearing since February.
Three of Smith’s last five segments have featured the same guest: Sky News presenter Rowan Dean, who on Sunday told Race Discrimination Commissioner Tim Soutphommasane to “go back to Laos”.
On Thursday Soutphommasane said there was “no place for this toxic hate” in response to the MacSween comments.
“It’s not ‘larrikinism’ when you revel in violent fantasies or compare people to vermin,” Soutphommasane said on Twitter.
Abdel-Magied initially attracted the anger of News Corp and conservative commentators after she posted on Anzac Day: “Lest. We. Forget. (Manus, Nauru, Syria, Palestine…).”

While the pond might have its fun with Xian and Islamic fundamentalists, sadly discrimination on the basis of faith is all too real in News Corp and elsewhere among conservative loons...

 

Did the Major just call a serving minister in the current government childish? Are they all petulant, back-biting children?

As for the rest, the Major is starting to sound both paranoid and hysterical, and there's no reason to look further than "Morrison seems likely to lose the election", with the Major wanting to blame everybody else for Morrison's issues, what with him being such a horrible, horrible man, a liar and a hypocrite, and quite possibly a complete psycho ... (don't take that from the pond, take it from the children currently running the country).

And so to the Caterist, and where to go and what to scribble about when things are dire? 

Ah yes, he did but see her passing by and yet he luvs her 'til he dies ...

 

 

 

Sorry, that typo is by way of a screen cap of the original reptile effort ...but before proceeding further, the pond should note it has become something of a monarchist of late because it can't wait for the talking tampon to ascend the throne ... as if dropping that rich material from The Crown would somehow make tampon-gate go away ...

 

 

 

Slightly dodgy character? Flushing toilets? A resonance with the mango Mussolini and all the first rate flushing fun to be had in the past few days? 

Oh yes, it's rich and so it's easy to see why the pond is onside with the Caterist ... because what fun when the talking tampon and his Queen get the gig ...

 

Of course it's not just that Prince Chuck fancied being a tampon, he was also somewhat active in curious ways, as reported by the Graudian way back when ...

 

 

Anybody with the stomach for it can read the black spider memos in full at the Graudian ...

So bring on the talking tampon, the pond says, it's going to be fun, and before moving on to the Caterist's final short gobbet, can the pond just note the rich irony of the first sentence ...

"The history of bad ideas tells us ..."

This from a loon who told us all about the movement of flood waters in quarries ... a first rate example in the history of bad ideas.

Is it any wonder that on a Monday the reptiles always manage to provide the best comedy stylings of the week?

 

Ah fucketty fuck, what a fuckwit he is, though at least CRT is another excellent distraction from that horrible, horrible man ...

And so to finish with an apology. There will be no late arvo posting today. The pond had briefly thought about running Killer Creighton's piece. 

It was an astonishing bit of hagiography and adoration featuring  James Miller, AUKUS, the nuke subs and all that jazz, and as tedious as all get out, and then the Killer had to ruin the whole thing at the very end with the punchline ...

 

 

Killer being Killer, he just couldn't help himself. All that celebration of Miller and AUKUS and the US and the whole damn thing, and then he had to be a killjoy!

But why bore stray readers with all the Killer bullshit when the pond could just cut straight to the Killer punchline?

And so, conscience clear, the pond could turn to a Rowe to end the day's proceedings, with more Rowe always to be found here ...