In which the bromancer waves a warm lettuce leaf and immigration, and the lizard Oz editorialist doesn't realise the call is coming from inside the house ...

 

 

 

 

What hope is there when those idealistic devotees to western civilisation, the noble reptiles, persist in taking Clive's cash in the claw?

The only upside for the pond this Thursday is that it's the usual rest day, thanks to the ban on petulant Peta. 

And the pond has few regrets, because once you get past petulant Peta, look at the dregs on offer, as early this morning, the lizard Oz editorialist was sighted filling in a lot of gaps and sticking copious fingers in assorted holes in the reptile dyke... 

 

 

The pond is pleased to learn that Rowan has a direct line to dictator Xi, and knows exactly what he;'s thinking, but will pass on the catch-up. And ditto Clive, sounding like he's ust doing a mini-bromancer, so pass on that too ...

As for the top of the digital page, it was all doom and gloom ...

 

 

 

Oh sure Geoff and Greg were in a state of alarm, and smelting down about the smelter and dear sweet innocent clean Oz coal.

And petulant Peta was smelting down about the woke yet again - at least the pond had caught up with the latest John Oliver last night, if only petulant Peta had done the same - and of course she wanted the government to step in, like some woke greenie demanding that the government do something ... because somehow, for some reason, petulant Peta is a big government person, and incredibly woke about it ...

At this point the pond usually notes what it might once have been running, when the savvy Savva ran with the reptile pack ...

 

But enough of this survey, and dancing around petulant Peta doing her woke cry for government intervention, because in the current crisis, the pond turns, as always, to the bromancer for a clue as to how the wind really blows in reptile la la land...

 

 

There you go, it's all in the header, a full on Pontius Pilate act. Waiter, a little water so that the bromancer might wash his paws and urge the Ukrainians to fight, because it's all up to them ...

Sure the bromancer was all for a little adventure in Iraq, but Vlad the impaler's got some heavy shit, so tough luck Ukraine.

By the way, the pond apologises for that leaking of a Leak cartoon into the pond, and the risk to the eyes that it poses ...

And now after that opening bromancer talk of the feeble west offering a flogging with a wet lettuce, and giving the gibbering BoJo a brief flogging, the bad news for Ukraine is that the bromancer proceeded to deploy his very own wet lettuce, for assorted floggings ...

At this point, the pond should note the bromancer was heavy on the visuals this day, and the reptiles deployed an image that was on rotation at the top of the digital page ...

 

 

Well yes, we know that, or at least we know that 1991 referendum saw 92.3% of voters approve the declaration of independence, but since when has Vlad the dictator given a fig for democracy, when he might just use a fig leaf for his dictatorship?

And so back to the bromancer, and eventually to the sell-out by the bromancer himself ...

 

 

So after mocking BoJo for blathering on about soccer, what does the bromancer himself offer as a solutiion? 

"...we should offer a new home to a lot of Ukrainians. They would make excellent immigrants."

Well so do Russians fleeing Vlad the impaler, but how is this in any way better than BoJo? (And it would have to be over Dame Groan's dead body).

The pond kept getting the sense that the bromancer had given up, thrown in the towel, waved the white flag ...

 

But Putin already has the answer to that question, and the bromancer supplied him with it ... 

"...we should offer a new home to a lot of Ukrainians. They would make excellent immigrants."

Game set and match to the dictator, and all the rest is mere idle verbiage of the BoJo kind ... who knew that the bromancer was big on warm wet lettuce?

 

 

 

 

So even valiant fighting and vast bloodshed by the Ukrainians is pointless? Vlad will just do them slowly, and we'll all stand and watch, and the bromancer will feel a little shame at how things go, but he feels enfeebled and there's nothing to be done?

That's how it goes in the final gobbet ...

 

 

 

Ukraine is deeply fucked. The valiant reptile crusader in those last few lines just joined many others in giving Vlad the impaler the green light ... with pious thoughts and prayers and hopefully, and a bizarre comparison to North Vietnam allegedly winning by way of massed armoured divisions (sorry, the pond must insist that armour is yesterday's technology), and a leaving of the Ukrainians on the field alone, because no one, not even the bromancer, is going to lift a finger to help them ...

And all the pond can offer in response is a Rowe cartoon, with more Rowe here ...

 

 

 

 

Not more bloody tanks ...

...It’s not the martial aspect of tanks that is depressing. It is instead the sheer idiocy and the anachronistic frivolity of Australia acquiring tanks and similar heavy, tracked vehicles which can never be of the slightest military use to us. And our doing this at a time of acute strategic challenge in our own region, when our maritime assets are woefully inadequate to the need, reflects the kind of high-minded strategic blindness, the paradigm paralysis and inertia of the defence organisation. Australia has not used a tank in anger since the Vietnam War. Our combat troops were mainly gone by late 1971, so that’s 50 years in which we have had no use for tanks. But we’ve had them all that time.

Ah yes, and as for the F111C...

And so the pond turned to the lizard editorialist for a dose of more of the same ...

 

 

The demands of patience? Ah, it's the old wet lettuce leaf flogging, mocked by the bromancer until he too hung out the white flag and left the field ...

And so it goes and so it went ...

 

 

"A unified response from the rest of the world is what is needed"?

But reptiles, you don't have to watch the re-make of Scream to realise that the calls are coming from inside the house ...

 

 

 

So much for a unified response, as the reptiles are busy white-anting and celebrating Vlad the impaler, thanks to Cucker Tarlson and his mob ... inside the News Corp house of liars, cheats, frauds and tricksters ...

Why if only the pond could join Truth Social to spread the word about the perfidy and the treachery...

So is there an upside this day? 

Well Sydney-siders being a parochial lot, Sydney was atop the page elsewhere ... what with a grovelling apology and a man getting ahead of the game by doing absolutely nothing ...

 

And meanwhile as the pond types, the thunder sounds and a sense of sogginess fills the humid air ...

But back at the lizard Oz, simplistic Simon could see a way forward, by pretending that SloMo and the reptiles gave more than a flying fuck ...

 

 

 

 

Oh yes, it's an ill wind that blows no good when there's a wet lettuce leaf to hand ...

Luckily the pond had an infallible Pope to hand to close out the day, and put a dampener on that sort of drivel ... what with none of the reptiles, including the bromancer, willing to do a meaningful thing about national security threats ...

 

 

 

 

Ah yes, we've been there before ...