In which the pond natters with Ned and shills with Sharri ...

There's been wild excitement amongst the tree killing reptiles this day, not least amongst the scribblers at the Catholic Boys' Daily ...

One pond correspondent suggested that we wait for Gerard Henderson QC present the case for the defence tomorrow, but it's going to be a tricky affair discussing the Pellist matter, and so the pond was eager to see what nattering "Ned" QC had written ...

It sounded like a quality reptile flip, putting the cops and the courts and all the rest on trial ... presumably on the basis that it was impossible to get a fair trial in leftie Victoria ...

Or so the meretricious Merritt suggested, with a splash that trended towards contempt of court, or at least contempt of juries and contempt of system, and who knows, perhaps contempt for the entire notion of justice and western civilisation, and all the rest that the Oreos of the world bang on about endlessly ...

Of course the pond isn't in a position to pre-judge matters and will avoid any conclusions (and any suggestions of Pell's guilt in the comments section will have to be deleted, since the pond has no interest in getting the learned Victorian judges agitated).

The pond is of course aware - thanks in part to having a gay priest within the extended family - of the goings on of the frock lovers in Ballarat, not that there's anything wrong with wearing a frock in the right time and place, but the behaviour of the Pellists and their treatment of victims is different from the matters before the court.

So the pond looked to nattering "Ned" and the top of the digital page seemed to promise one of "Ned's" excruciatingly long treatises ...

But it turned out that nattering "Ned", usually notorious for bloatware, and endless scribbling, understood the need to be somewhat circumspect ... what with the rag and three federal ministers having got themselves into hot water recently ... and so he was alarmingly brisk and short-winded ...

Uh huh, but elsewhere in the reptile newspaper, the verdict was already in ...

The good thing is that this brecity cleared valuable pond space for sweet Sharri of the Terror, who has in the past few weeks, become the pond's TGIF signature tune, signalling it's time to relax with a bit of bubble headed fun ...

Pace the Terror, having Sharri in the pond house means that there's a chance to appeal to the mature gentleman reader, especially those who can't see the attraction in reading a boof-headed caller of thugby league shouting about the poodle's "outrageous performance."

No doubt the spear tackle that damaged Hadders' brain was outrageous, but the pond has no time for thugby leaguers and prefers to admire Sharri's skill wearing frocks ...

And now without further ado, it's on with the game ...

The pond is still trying to work out that last line in the first gobbet ...

Despite Pyne’s arrogance and treachery, the suggestion Turnbull’s failure to demote him would jeopardise his own position is preposterous.

Those wayward 'him's' and 'his's', and that convoluted double negative ...whatever do they mean and whoever do they apply to? Is Sharri saying the pudel and Malware are safe on first base?

Confused, the pond decided there was safety in showing snaps, so here's one of Sharri that's more than a match for that one of the onion muncher leering away in the gobbet ...

And now back to Sharri's penetrating analysis ...

What gets the pond is that Sharri is still days behind.

While she's having fun with the pudel, the onion muncher has been off suggesting we rent nuclear subs from the Yanks and never mind what a preposterous idea it was, what with the idea of delaying even more the already long delayed and useless conventional sub program, putting it off into the never never, and replacing it with a meaningless and operationally useless nuke gesture, likely to be an even bigger budgetary and logistical nightmare, and to take even longer, so we might expect subs not by 2050, but by 2070 ...

The pond won't be around for either of those delivery dates, but why don't the reptiles realise this sort of onion muncher waffle is just the mad monk trolling on the level of the Donald trolling Mika about face lifts, as a way of distracting the government from dealing with actual issues and matters of state ...

Instead they have to bung on yet another domestic ...

... because it's not actually about the subs, or even joining up with Labor on navigation exercises in the South China seas, it's just more white-anting, sniping, undermining and wrecking, and each time a minister is forced to respond, the government is made to look timid, weak, ineffectual and incompetent ... though we already know that with Abbott in charge, it was a train wreck ...

In this context, it takes singular Sharri analysis to announce that this is categorically not a contest between Turnbull and the onion muncher ...

What a sublime doofus this Sharri is ...

And after that meme now doing the rounds, it's back to some serious analysis ...

Oh wait, we all know the cause of the jealousy. It's all about repressed homoerotic need and betrayal, or is that just because the pet decided it wanted a new owner, and the old owner went into a jealous rage?

Sorry, back to some serious Sharri analysis ...

It's as if in all this navel-gazing and Sharri fluff-gathering that the spectre of Comrade Bill has gone away ...

How did that meme get in here? We're trying to be serious and wanted an awesome so great meme about Comrade Bill ...

Never mind, there's just one final satisfying gobbet left ...

Actually, it's not just Malware that's vulnerable. It's the entire Liberal party ... because if they go ahead and do a Chairman Rudd, and bring down Malware to please the onion muncher, and especially if they turn to the likes of the mutton Dutton, one of the most unattractive people in federal politics, they'll be spending at least three years in exile and maybe more ...

And if the leadership of the Liberal party can't survive a vote for equality for gay people, then that's what it deserves ...

And now thanks to Rowe, a discreet observation of the Pellist situation, with more discreet Rowe here ...