In which the pond strives for relevance, thanks to the bromancer and nattering "Ned" ...

The pond never aims for relevance or being up-to-date. The world of the reptiles is timeless, and mere politics provides only baseless, meaningless moments on the way to paradise ...

Well surely that's how they feel at the Catholic Boys' Daily, with heaven awaiting the righteous, the just and the true. Perhaps in the meantime, the reptiles have a resonant spirituality akin to the Buddha ...

More koans here ...

But every so often the reptiles venture into the world of sordid, greedy, grasping politics, and remind themselves of their need to service their master, the chairman ...

Perforce the pond must step with them ...for where would a Saturday be, without the insights of the bromancer and nattering "Ned"?

Now when the pond last left "Ned", he was moaning, wringing his hands, sighing at the skies, donning sackcloth and ashes, wailing, and worrying ...

Who knows what might now happen in relation to the Chairman's UK television ambitions?

Strangely when it came to the digital version of his story, the reptiles clean forgot to mention "Ned's" name in a byline ...

Indeed, indeed. But then as Bell noted of the campaign ...

More Graudian cartoons here, but it was that number one point that caught the pond's eye. 

Bring back imperial weights and measures? That would be as useful as imagining post offices were still a thing, and could be returned to life by nationalising them ... 

It struck the pond as a cartoon fiction, but lo, it was so and true...

More at the UK Terror here, and it put the pond in just the right frame of mind for fuddy duddy old nattering "Ned", now in deep grieving, alarm and panic ...

Corbyn soft on Terrorism?

Well the pond has already noted the irony of the Tories getting into bed with a party founded by Northern Ireland terrorists, but naturally nattering "Ned" didn't go there ...

What's truly funny is the way that Corbyn is now painted as a populist, when in the run-up to the election he was painted as the sort of demented uncle best kept in the attic ...

Is it just the pond that finds analysis which links Corbyn with Trump and May with Hillary Clinton completely meaningless? 

As for Brexit, perhaps the pond should revert to a Pope cartoon, while noting more papery is available here ...

Meanwhile, the pond doesn't know what "Ned" is drinking, but would love some of it, as a way of understanding how May moved to the left to appeal to the disadvantaged.

Is that what a "dementia tax" is? A madcap bit of leftism?

And so to a bout of existential fear and alarm ...

What a terrible situation. But luckily First Dog has the solution to hand, with more First Dog here ...

Sorry First Dog, nattering "Ned" should be the chair of any camp panel, but not before he has time to rabbit on about the Labor party ... and see a glimmer of hope ...

Actually it was Theresa May, with the help of a select few and a dinkum cobber, who delivered this result, by calling an election that was entirely unnecessary ...

As for the notion that the Tories have rejected selfish individualism, and embarked on a moral-based platform, the pond calls another cartoonist to the stand ...

Now just to keep the religious metaphor running, the pond must call on another expert witness to describe the situation ...

More elephant marvels here...

The pond will be content with the bromancer travelling exactly the same turf as nattering "Ned"...though some might think they've ended up in the Evening Harold ...

It was that opening "Yikes" that gave the pond comfort that it was going to be given a master class in political analysis ...

Now if only there's a reference to the "great unwashed" as a way of demonstrating the empathy and the sympathy the reptiles have for your average voter, the pond's weekend will be complete ... though it would also appreciate any deploring of "populism", as if the Fox Noise people have been steadfast in their opposition to populism and had nothing to do with the elevation of the Donald to his throne ...

Suddenly we're in mourning for the pandering quisling Nick Clegg? Can we have a serve of tuition fees with that?

And suddenly, it seems, it's a nightmare for the reptiles, all this talk of money ...

Of course that happens to be a free agent at work in the capitalist system.

As the pond remembers it, the highlight is scoring an $11.2 million dollar contract for a man playing with his balls ...

No matter. In reptile land, that's a pretty fair equivalent for grasping working class folk, the down out and out, the excluded and the dispossessed wanting an even break from politicians and the economy, or perhaps an avoidance of homelessness and a little food and a chance at a health care system ... 

And so to a mention of the DUP as salvation, but no mention of its ghastly past, while a mention of Sinn Fein's ghastly past must surely be obligatory ...

And so once again, the DUP is kissing cousin to the SNP, Hillary is Theresa, or vice versa, Corbyn is Trump, or vice versa, and nothing is but what is not, and the reptiles have the cheek to say that it's the electorate that's confusing and confused ...

Put it another way ...

And so to another movie, this one the Dumb and Dumber show ...

And so the woman beloved by nattering "Ned" must now pass into history as deeply, triply bromancer proscribed dumb, and we must never again talk of authenticity, because only deep, insincere, inauthenticity will do ... 

And soon enough the Tories will have to deal with Boris, and so will the world, and it's another fine mess the Murdochians have helped produce, and only a Rowe cartoon, with more Rowe here, will provide any solace, with Boris showing his deep concern and regard ...

Oh and as for the rest of that First Dog ...