In which the pond decides last lines are good enough for a Bolterish bunch of Murdochian ratbags ...

Given recent unfortunate events in London, the pond thought it would be interesting to look at the front pages of the reptiles this day ...

It's not as if they didn't have the time or the capacity to feature the matter. 

The Oz offered a photo and a prominent position, the Currish Snail barely mentioned it, the HUN limited it to London reeling yet again at the top of the page,  and the Terror ignored it ...

Of course we're all aware of the Terror's usual form on matters Islamic ...

Hmm, maybe the Mutfti helped construct the Terrorist tree killer front page this day ...

And it was perhaps just a matter of unfortunate timing that the Bolter had only recently launched yet another of his offensive personal assaults on Waleed Aly, spawned in the HUN, but featured and charged for by the Terrorists ...

 

Time then for the Bolter to step up and demand reform of crazed right wing racist loons?

How is it that somehow the likes of Aly are personally responsible for the state of Islam, while the Bolter can duck and run for cover when it comes to feral right wing loons?

This day the Bolter offered some weasel words, because, being a weasel, there's always plenty of weasel words on hand ...

Well there's another good reason not to use Uber.

Any company that allows its advertising to appear in the company of a hater deserves the pond's hate ...

Note the Bolter's ultimate smarm - "almost paradoxically."

Almost fuckwitted is that one's relationship to reality... 

And as the Bolter rarely appears on these pages - take note Uber, encouraging haters only encourages the hate - the pond checked out the other Bolter features this day with a screen cap deliberately designed to avoid click through potential ...

Recycled lizard Catholic Boys' Daily Oz, recycled arm-breaker Latham and recycled petulant Peta, and a lucky break: "back to the usual script", so that in a nanosecond, the Bolter might forget his plea about it all descending into "seeming tit-for-tat terrorism."

What is it with the "seeming" anyway? What is it with the "apparent"?

The Terror continued this approach by putting inverted commas around the digital splash for the story:

'Terrorist'?

Are the Terrorists so faint-hearted when it comes to Islamic terror?

The pond would prefer that most terrorists be called criminals who commit crimes. To elevate their activities to the status of terrorism is a bit like elevating Daesh to statehood, as opposed to a gaggle of malevolent thugs intent on dropping people into a hellish form of puritanism...

Never mind, if you're going to talk about Islamic terrorism, then it behoves you to talk of other forms of terrorism and terrorists, without benefit of inverted commas ... as per the bromancer this day ...

And yet the contemptible Bolter's contemptible response was to demand that Waleed Aly reform Islam ...

Still, thinking about the Bolter's cannibalistic approach to his colleagues, and with the bromancer taking up so much space, the pond decided on a Bolter approach to the other reptiles on parade.

Call it a "last lines" solution ...

Here's how it works with the taxi-driver arm-breaker ... first there's the splash ...

... though it was tucked away inside the digital edition, perhaps because the Terrorists thought today wasn't the day for more migrant bashing.

And then there's the last lines ...

Build a wall. And make the eastern suburbs pay for it ...

But how nifty is this? The pond can afford to ignore an extended whine by a bludger living on a generous parliamentary pension about the way he can't drive around the city as free as a bird on the wind, because of all the traffic ... as if mentioning Bob Carr, the man who put up an Olympic park rather than sort out infrastructure, was a way of soothing the pond ...

Oh and there was the usual handy touch of racism ...

You can almost feel the arm-breaker reeling back at the thought of the Chinese hordes ...

The same procedure could be applied to the dumb blonde who accompanied the arm-breaker in his splash.

Well there's a good reason for the pond's ban on the AFL. If they're going to support Marcus, they can take a giant flying fuck ...

Hang on, you say, what's with the dumb blonde routine?

Surely the pond shouldn't be resorting to that sort of cheap identifying politics?

But here's the thing. Marcus is blonde, and she's dumb. Should the pond step back from these simple identifiers and attempt to be politically correct? Remember, nobody's safe from identity politics and the PC thought police ...

Oh wait, did someone bring a bottle into the shower?

Never mind, brunettes can be dumb too, and it's just as politically incorrect to say so, and the pond is religious in its desire to insult anyone who fails to look like a clone of a member of the Terrorist commentariat ...

And so to the last Marcus line ...

You see, the pond certainly didn't want to end up on the dinner plate of identity politics.

So dumb blonde it is,  making snide remarks about fat people and TG people and gays and the rest of it, and all the pond is doing is following along in the Marcus footsteps, as best it can, in ever so humble a fashion ...

Lastly, it wouldn't be a Tuesday without the Caterists ...

Thank the long absent lord the pond's approach means it can avoid an extended whine about a program designed to help people, and an extended bitch about government, because the private sector is ever so willing to help out instead, and instead the pond can just jump to the last Caterist line ...

Dear sweet lord, is the Caterist trying to speak to the pond?

Is he sending a coded message? 

Has he suddenly gained a transcendental understanding? Does he realise what he does as a business model?

Or is he just cheerfully acknowledging that he's a selfish, money-grubbing, government grant, cash in the paw conservative? 

Who seems to get his cash with remarkable ease each year ...

The pond could get accustomed to this approach ...

And with the day's survey all done and dusted, the pond still had room to tackle the Catholic Boys' Daily education crisis, thanks to the immortal Rowe - with more Rowe here - and the splendid redemptive Pope - more papal absolution here ...