Of late the pond has been severely discombobulated ...
Until the last few days, each morning has conformed to a kabuki-style ritual: the planes roar in no later than 6.02 am, the pond wakes up and rushes off to check the cute reptiles in their herpetarium, scribbles a few annotations on their condition, and then gets on with the day ...
But lately the planes have fallen silent. Sure, this morning one sounded off at 6.23 am, but the pond is deeply disturbed ... and has begun to pray ...
Until the last few days, each morning has conformed to a kabuki-style ritual: the planes roar in no later than 6.02 am, the pond wakes up and rushes off to check the cute reptiles in their herpetarium, scribbles a few annotations on their condition, and then gets on with the day ...
But lately the planes have fallen silent. Sure, this morning one sounded off at 6.23 am, but the pond is deeply disturbed ... and has begun to pray ...
If the planes fall silent, how long before the reptiles escape the herpetarium and wander into the night, their business plan in ruins?
It makes each day's observation that much more precious, that much more rich and pleasing ... the senses come alive when in the company of the Devine and petulant Peta ... especially when the Devine goes rogue ...
Think big indeed ... the pond is the the reptile meeting place for reptiles making blather ...
Well as the pond's mother used to say, it takes a truly bigoted Catholic to spot a bigoted Catholic, and so to the Devine text of the day ...
Now the pond has no dog, apple or holy wafer in this fight.
But anyone who has even spent a nanosecond at the lizard Oz would be aware that the reptiles and the tykes were in a state of hyper-agitation and uproar for days, with hysterical front page coverage.
Waiter, a montage of reptile pages from the pond's vast archive, if you please ...
And so on and on ... and along with that front page blitz came this sort of story ... please, waiter just one, or we could be here all year ...
Now on the evidence, it seems clear enough that the reptiles of Oz, Simon Benson and dozens of others are in league with the rogue Catholics and the rogue CFMEU ...
The pond understands that there is no graver charge than to allege that the reptiles have been caught associating with rogue Catholics and filthy disgusting unionists ... but it has to be said, and the Devine is just the person to say it ...
Rogue Catholics ... and rogue reptiles in league with the CFMEU! The antithesis of Catholic teaching. Satanists, devil worshippers, destined to spend a billion trillion zillion years in hell ... which everyone knows is just the first day in hell using hell time ...
Is it any wonder the pond feels discombobulated? And a Devine reader knew exactly what was going down ...
Indeed, indeed. Congratulations rogue Catholics and rogue reptiles, you've been Devined ...
And now, because these days the pond can't get enough reptile stew - perhaps as a way to fill in the silence left by the vanishing planes - it's time to catch up with petulant Peta ... though for a moment the pond wasn't sure if it was on the right page ...
Oh wait, that does indeed seem to be petulant Peta, and in supercilious stereo vision ...
And by golly after her tremendous reign with the onion muncher showing how it should be done - what glorious days they were, the pond still sheds a tear in memory - that Malware is certainly going to cop a bucketing this day ...
Whenever the pond reads petulant Peta, the pond's grudge against Malware for his ruining of the NBN - being at the behest of the onion muncher is no excuse for quisling forelock-tugging abasing ruination of the thing - seems like a gnat against a behemoth of bitterness ...
As with Catholic education, the pond has no fox in this fight, but reading petulant Peta always reminds the pond of some North Korean footage it once saw, where the Koreans conducted "scientific experiments" with animals in cages which saw them attack each other, with much wounding, maiming and mayhem ...
It was a kind of fight club exercise, reflecting the deep depravity of the regime, and it made the pond resolve to avoid the place at all cost ... and yet, watching this sort of conduct in its own reptile herpetarium, the pond can understand the appeal of the bloodlust ...
See how Peta bares her teeth, see how she snarls and snaps ... and bites ...
The bitterness is as palpable as that seen daily in the onion muncher ...
The pond remains convinced it's a vast conspiracy to generate some sympathy for Malware. If the crazies think taking the country to the right of Genghis Khan is the solution, perhaps Malware's not so bad after all, even if he did ruin the NBN and generally is something of a fuckwit.
Perhaps there's a moral too ...
It's an old, perhaps ancient story, retold by First Dog, with the onion muncher and Peta taking turns to play the scorpion ...
And now if the pond might be so bold, it would like to pass on to Catholic education its own clever strategy for securing funding ...
"... the pond's grudge against Malware for his ruining of the NBN - being at the behest of the onion muncher"
ReplyDeleteI dunno, DP, even if the Muncher had given Malware carte blanche and total freedom, I reckon Mal would have stuffed up the NBN anyway; it's in his malfeasant nature you see.