In which the pond is gratefully humble and in awe at being in the company of the reptiles of Oz and Dame Slap ...

Before the pond gets on to the reptiles in revolt, firstly, with deeply obsequious forelock tugging, and much kowtowing and bowing and scraping, and with a rich display of sickening humility and humbleness, the pond would like to say how grateful it is to be here today, to help advance Australia fair, in a way that grates again, thanks to the fearless leadership of the reptiles of Oz ...

And so, reluctantly, to the business of the day, and the white-anting and the undermining ...

These days the pond is simply overwhelmed by the amount of business at hand. While the Terror's marvellous efforts must be acknowledged - it's such an honour to acknowledge them - at the top of the digital page, the Oz terrorists were in top form ...

But it wasn't just Dame Slap and the cawing Crowe ...look at this stellar list of top-notch performers. The pond is in awe-stricken admiration of the opportunity to walk in their giant shadows ...

Nattering "Ned" in deep malaise, Moorice's ears flapping, Albo being pumped up, the bouffant one re-thinking the Finkel ...

In all the hubbub and braying, the thoughts of the astute Oz editorialist might get lost ... yet there are crucial questions that must not be overlooked ...

It's time to ask some basic questions. What is this climate science nonsense, and why should we bother?

Climate science denialism takes many forms, but surely this is amongst the best. The tiny seed is planted, the whisper is in the ear ... why not follow the Donald, why not withdraw?

And so to the major business of the day, Dame Slap's prognostications ... even if the pond already feels exhausted at so much time in such exalted company ...

Luckily the Dame is simply in nattering "Ned's" catastrophist mode, fulminating away in a frenzy ...

It's at moments like this that the pond always reverts to its favourite book in the Bible, hurling calamities around in abundance:

All this have I seen, and applied my heart unto every work that is done under the sun: there is a time in which one man rules over another to his own hurt. 

And so I saw the wicked buried, who had come and gone from the holy place, and they were forgotten in the city where they had so done: this is also vanity.

Ah yes, vanity, all is vanity, and Dame Slap is an ideal vessel for admonition and righteous punishment:

It was of course inevitable that Dame Slap would select Clinton rather than the Donald. The pond has observed that reptiles prefer to crawl back into their natural habitat rather than confront the spectacular Uncle Joe toadyism going on around them ...

Confronted by the rich spectacle of North Korea in the United States, of course it's all the fault of the Clintons ...

And so to Britain ...

Now at this point a disinterested bystander might be thinking that May actually did a Clinton and lost, when ostensibly she's presenting herself as a winner, who will continue to be PM and get around to organising a speech for the Queen in due course ...

It seems contrite humility is what the Dame requires from her classroom ...and so to the lesson she intends to teach Malware ...

Indeed, indeed. Right, right, whatever you say, Dame Slap ... and Oz editorialist ...

Coal is good, no, coal is great, and we must move to the far right, and the sooner the better, because what spiffing good fun it was last time ... so much better to have a Team Australia ...

Was it all so long ago ... Katauskas thanks to the Jesuits here .... those glorious days of sound conservative policies and the Dame in full supportive flight and coal in its rightful place and all well under the heavens?

It was left to David Rowe to reassure the pond that there were still sound conservative politicians beavering away, more than a match for Putin as he makes Russia great again ...  come on down North Korea, we'll get there yet ... (with more Rowe here).