In which the Oreo joy is snatched from the pond's paws, and the Major Mitchell makes a poor, undernourished, ill-digested substitute ...

What's this? Hits and memories? Golden oldies?

This day things have come to a grave pass, to the point where the pond thought of slapping a ban on the reptiles.

The pond has other ports of call if it likes. This is Tom Switzer day at Fairfax, and there's a prime clown. If the reptiles want to cut off their nose to spite their face, it's pure reptile folly ...

On the other hand, the pond is in deep mourning that it should have come to this. No Oreo on a Monday?! No fragrant biscuit of paranoid hysteria with which to start the week?

But she's a leading figure in universities around the world. Featured on multiple syllabi like wide-ranging octopi ...

How can this be? What led the reptiles to this outrageous betrayal. Is it any wonder that this day the oscillating fan should talk of the uncertainty that besets us all ...

No, no, no, not having an Oreo on a Monday is the new black, and the reptiles are so unaware of the damage they can do to the pond economy, that this week bids to be fair ruinous.

Oh sure there were some old returning favourites. There was another farewell attack on Triggs - talk about a Melba of attacks - and good old Becca was banging on about the gay,s and Finkel was given another good solid thrashing, and Bjorn returned to give the pond the answer ...

But the pond was inconsolable, and turned to the Major Mitchell for whatever passes as consolation in these troubled times ...

Now speaking of megaphones and postures, surely the Oreo has been the leading exponent of tremendously factual and real reporting in the lizard Oz when it comes to the Islamic threat ...

The pond began to form a conspiracy theory. No Oreo pounding away at the Islamics, and suddenly there's the Major Mitchell stealing the Oreo's sacred turf ...

It seemed clear enough, and the pond's suspicion of  Major Mitchell-led conspiracy to deny the world its Oreos will only be swept away if the Oreo returns tomorrow morning.

Meanwhile, the pond had trudge off glumly to deal with the Major Mitchell. It had to accept the inferior substitute, what choice did it have?

Well the pond could have trotted off to re-listen to ABC radio's PM, which reproduced some of the funniest lines the pond has ever heard in a courtroom.

Those proceedings can be heard here, and they beat anything the Major has to offer, though he covers some of the same turf ...though who would doubt that a larrikin lout like the Major would also find time to celebrate "masculine cultural behaviours" ...

Now the condescending sense of superiority is there, always a favourite Major Mitchell stance, as he reports on the way that the reptiles have been at the forefront of reporting terrorism these last 15 years.

The time frame is a pity. It excludes earlier heroic attempts by the Major Mitchell to expose Manning Clark as an Order of Lenin wearer ...back in '96 it were ...

Now the President of the United States invites Vlad the Impaler in the front door and the Murdochians don't say a word ...

Go figure.

But back to the Major carrying on about the shameless way that three federal ministers tried to score some shameless hysterical front page coverage in the lizard Oz, which served it up in a shameless way ...and then, in typically heroic fashion, knocked down the front door in a desperate bid to escape ...

In stark contrast, the lawyer for The Australian newspaper issued a full apology and told the court the organisation was "just the messenger". (ABC here).

Of course there's not going to be much banging on about that bit of craven cowardice in the next Major Mitchell gobbet ...

Uh huh. Curiously the Major was silent about the many ways that the lizards of Oz had attacked, assaulted, denigrated, undermined and snidely assailed one of the countries at the heart of exporting fundamentalist Wahhabism around the world ...

Whatever could be the reason?

Go free Wahhabists, run wild, no need to fear the mighty lash of the Major Mitchell ... he saves all that for the progressive media ...

And so, because Monday deserves a little light relief, to a clever Rorschach test devised by David Rowe ...

See this ink portrait?

The onion muncher, right? Tony Abbott with one of his patented beguiling smiles.

And this? Surely it's the onion muncher again, with one of his patented leers...

And now to Rowe playing the same game. 

Some of the tests are easy. This is surely the onion muncher ...just look at that winking eye as it steams away ...

And here is the portrait in context ...

And now for a slightly trickier one. This is surely the onion muncher ...

Surely it is. Not convinced? Check out the smiling madonna and her baby boy, and see what fine wallpaper is in the background of the painting ... and as always more tempting and teasing Rowe here, at last something much better than an Oreo for a Monday kick-start...