In which the pond welcomes "new" Moorice ...and he's a bloody Skousen ripper ...

The pond has already noted the way that the reptiles have resorted to the new term of new coal, and the newness continues apace today ...

This is no post-ironic, post-modernist, bearded and tatted hipster "new" - there are no inverted commas around the newness, it is simply pure, undiluted, genuine new ... and the newness didn't just lead the tree killer edition, the new also turned up in the top of the page digital splash ...

Does the cawing Crowe have the remotest interest in the English language? Is this new coal the same as the old coal?

Some might have attempted to read the text, but the pond felt the need to reach for George Orwell for comfort:

Meaningless words. In certain kinds of writing, particularly in art criticism and literary criticism, it is normal to come across long passages which are almost completely lacking in meaning. Words like romantic, plastic, values, human, dead, sentimental, natural, vitality, as used in art criticism, are strictly meaningless, in the sense that they not only do not point to any discoverable object, but are hardly ever expected to do so by the reader. When one critic writes, "The outstanding feature of Mr. X's work is its living quality," while another writes, "The immediately striking thing about Mr. X's work is its peculiar deadness," the reader accepts this as a simple difference opinion. If words like black and white were involved, instead of the jargon words dead and living, he would see at once that language was being used in an improper way. 
Many political words are similarly abused. The word Fascism has now no meaning except in so far as it signifies "something not desirable." The words democracy, socialism, freedom, patriotic, realistic, justice have each of them several different meanings which cannot be reconciled with one another. In the case of a word like democracy, not only is there no agreed definition, but the attempt to make one is resisted from all sides. It is almost universally felt that when we call a country democratic we are praising it: consequently the defenders of every kind of regime claim that it is a democracy, and fear that they might have to stop using that word if it were tied down to any one meaning. Words of this kind are often used in a consciously dishonest way. That is, the person who uses them has his own private definition, but allows his hearer to think he means something quite different. 
Statements like "Marshal Petain was a true patriot," "PM turns to new coal," "The Soviet press is the freest in the world," "The Catholic Church is opposed to persecution," "David Crowe is a journalist," "the lizard Oz is a quality broadsheet" are almost always made with intent to deceive. Other words used in variable meanings, in most cases more or less dishonestly, are: class, totalitarian, science, progressive, reactionary, bourgeois, new coal, equality. (more here).

Say what you will, George was a prescient visionary.

Speaking of prescient visionaries, there was another reason the pond couldn't waste more time with the cawing Crowe.

Whenever Moorice speaks, the pond sweeps everything aside.

Where once he was the world's leading climate scientist, of late Moorice has turned to other matters.

Well, having proven that climate change is definitively (a) not happening, (b) if it is happening, humanity and invisible gases have nothing to do with it; and (c) the science is a conspiracy to establish world government, why would Moorice waste his time on such minor matters as mopping up the few remaining doubters unable to understand Moorice's complex science?

Besides, with the pond still mourning the absence of the Oreo, someone had to step up to the plate and show the world how it's done, and Moorice is just the man for that heroic job ...

Now what the pond loves in that turn of phrase is its biblical fervour, its King James tone, its rhetorical flourish, which is pure Ecclesiastes or perhaps new testament ...

For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad. Yea, verily, Moorice shall reveal the truth revealed ...

The google reference was a little more prosaic ...

But enough of the preliminary courtship, it's on with the dance, and the pond is delighted to report that Moorice's insights need absolutely no curating or commentary. This is the real deal, the truth revealed by the prophet of Oz ...

Now everything about this opening salvo is perfect, starting as it does with a conspiracy theory (Greg Hunt southern walri and The Naked Communist here) peddled by a notorious John Bircher (Skousen away here):

While Skousen was alive, many of his ideas were met with fierce criticism, while his pronouncements made him "a pariah among most conservative activists". In one instance, the constitutional scholar Jack Rakove, of Stanford University, inspected Skousen’s books and seminars and pronounced them "a joke that no self-respecting scholar would think is worth a warm pitcher of spit." A 1971 review in the Mormon studies journal Dialogue described Skousen as "inventing fantastic ideas and making inferences that go far beyond the bounds of honest commentary," and also of promoting concepts that were "perilously close" to Nazism.

And so on and on - the pond would like to have mentioned in detail Skousen on banks and Skousen on race and Skousen on blacks in the Mormon church (before the revelation), and much other Skousenian trivia:

After losing his police job, Skousen founded a group called the All-American Society, which Time magazine described in 1961 as an "exemplar of the far-right ultras."Throughout the 1960s, Skousen was also admired by members and leaders of the John Birch Society, although members of the more mainstream conservative movement and the American Security Council snubbed him out of fear that his controversial views would hurt the credibility of the conservative movement. Skousen used Birch Society magazines as source and reference material, and was pictured on the cover of its magazine, American Interest. Although he was never officially a member of the organization, he was a member of its speakers' bureau and lectured at John Birch Society events throughout the United States for many years. A 1962 FBI memo described Skousen as affiliating with an "extreme right-wing" group which was promoting "anticommunism for obvious financial purposes". Skousen authored a pamphlet titled The Communist Attack on the John Birch Society, characterizing criticism of the Society as incipient communism. (wiki for the footnotes, careful of the walri).

But that would be to ignore the nutty fruity richness of Moorice himself banging on about pornography, and degeneracy and promiscuity, which puts Moorice more in the company of Fred Nile, or General Ripper:

I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women... women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.

All this before Moorice has got himself properly wound up, and sounding like a demented clock talking about world conspiracies ...

Now there are probably a few who say with a sigh, "poor old bugger, gone troppo, the dementia has well and truly kicked in, there but for the grace of the long absent lord go I, will someone put the mad uncle back in the attic please", but that's the way the pond likes it, the rhetoric tumbling out into the air and forming a pool of vomit in what used to pass for sanity amongst reptiles in a supposed quality broadsheet ...

And in that mix, that immortal line of rage and despair: "No wonder the outrage that followed the treacherous toppling of prime minister Tony Abbott continues" ... which sadly and outrageously resulted in  Moorice being cast out into the outer circles of Christmas cake fruity nuttiness, though he was very reluctant to leave ...

The delusions are strong in this one ... Graudian the year old report here...

And now to the best bit of all, Moorice's speciality ... more wild talk of a world government just around the corner ...

That final line is itself truly wondrous, biblical and rhetorical and mangled Marx and straight out of Skousen, as can be found here thanks to google books, in the second par of the introduction ...

And so with great satisfaction, the pond can report that not only do the reptiles now fit the Orwellian bill as brave "new" butchers of the English language, they are but a thinly veiled front for the John Birch Society ...

It doesn't get any better than this ... the pond might press on, but it will be against the receding tide, while this outing by Moorice will stand as a high water mark...

Skousen ....Murdoch ... Moorice ... it all fits ...

Was it only by chance, by unlikely coincidence, that the Pope himself revealed a concern for the English language in his cartoon this day, with more papal insights available here ... or was it part of an international conspiracy? Of course the pond merely reports so others may decide, but only paranoids in possession of Moorice's "new" facts will be allowed to vote ...