In which the Caterist shares insights that surpass the understanding of everyone else ...

The pond was delighted by this splash in the lizard Oz yesterday ... easier, as it is, for Bette Midler to say "I just want to say, I just want to say, shut that crap off ..."

Sure enough, this day ...

Talk about the ball lobbing into court for a short, punchy, hard-working, backhanded week ...

Could there be a better job description for the onion muncher? 

What a dream appointment, how happy everyone would be ...

Meanwhile, the fall-out from the UK continues, and the reptiles are in on the con ... sorry, the pond meant the job ...

Indeed, indeed. Whenever the pond thinks of Boris, it thinks of an authentic and credible figure, with the capacity to deal with accurate, true and real figures ...

But Troy has always been a foolish fop, a lightweight easily beguiled by the latest fad. 

Luckily the heavy hitters were also out and about this day ....

What's this? Apologies, talk of disaster, angry MPs? 

Forsooth, that's not right. Surely it was a success?

What they need is a dose of Caterism to fix what ails them ...

Thank heavens and the long absent lord that the taxpayer-sponsored Caterist (get your grants here, get your grants here) is on hand to sort things out and establish that the resolute May won a tremendous victory, seemingly ignored or misunderstood by everyone except the Caterist ...

Once again, the Caterist has insights that surpass the understanding of everyone else, including gutter rags like the NY Times ...

Dammit, the pond knew there'd always be trouble with those damned inner city 'leets. And not just in London ...

What we need to do at once is put a fence around Surry Hills and let no one in or out, and if that hobbles the reptiles in their bunker, never mind, someone has to pay the price.

And then it's on to the universities. The pond always knew education was a dangerous thing. If only people were trained in forklift driving, why they might use their skill to drive into the Department of Finance and pick up a bundle of cash ...

... and then drive out again and scribble a rich bunch of insights for the lizard Oz.

But enough of ritual observances of ways to make moola, it's back to the Caterists for more understanding of an undoubted electoral triumph, which the Queen will speak about, whenever they work out what the Queen should speak about ...

Damn the gentrified, damn the cosmopolitans. They need the hard, calloused paws of a Caterist to understand what real work is ... just look at all the wounds from stapling Department of Finance application forms ...

To sum up, it's impossible to sum up the unalloyed, distilled essence of pleasure that the pond derives from reading the Caterists. There's so much to be said in favour of taxpayer money pissed against the wall on grants to useless think tanks ...

Thanks to this cash in the paw, we learn that the way forward is secure for May - if Caterist sanity prevails, and if she does an appropriate swing to the hard right, the harder the better, offending as many people in the vicinity as can be found. 

Don't leave them guessing, take risks and offend everyone. As Bette Midler might say, if those pesky cosmopolitan voters irritate with their offensive cosmopolitanism, just tell them to shut their crap off ...

And so to the Pope of the day, offering genuine hope for a good Brexit, with more hopeful Pope here ...