In which the pond celebrates the return of the authentically real Oreo ...

Speaking of signs and portents and the apocalypse, as one does with the reptiles each day, the local Aldi had prepared a feast of Oreos on the weekend.

The pond knew at once it was a signal that the Oreo would return this Monday - even the Aldi home brand product can't contend with the power of the Oreo.

But at the same time the Oreo, like all good starlings, knows how to join a murmuration, and lordy lordy, was there much murmuring this morning ...

Oh he might deny he said it, but everyone knows this leftist federal government is mired deep in filthy perversion ...

The reptiles had it covered too ...

But the unsaintly Christopher will return lately, because the lizards of Oz had much to caw about ...

It was the cawing Crowe that did the stats ...

But petulant Peta was also on hand to remind the filthy perverts that Facebook and Twitter wouldn't save them ...

And so to the feast ...

Between the banal cawing Crowe doing the numbers and the Oreo? 

Talk about an easy choice - let the dancing in the streets begin, the authentic, genuine, completely real Oreo feast day is at hand ...

Turnbull sounded like he was trying? Well 'tis true he's always very trying, especially when it comes to copper, but what's even better is the days when the reptiles pile on to the Liberal party, and the Oreo leads the way ...

Now the meal will be complete if we can only talk of Judeo or perhaps, if artistically inclined, Judaeo-Christianity values ... and the Enlightenment, because persecuting gays was very much a feature of Enlightened thinking ...

The pond went searching for Judaeo-Christianity, but the neo-Fascists at google simply wouldn't permit it ...

Then the pond realised that in the new digital era, this was just the fascist Americans at work, and the Cambridge dictionary would assert the proper place of Judaeo-Christian values in the world ... Dammit Americans, you have no current role in the Enlightenment, none at all ...

As for the rest, all that blather about authenticity and realism? Oh just shut up and eat your Oreo and be grateful, because recalcitrants and lazybones won't be permitted to move on to the next treat.

Yes, it's not just the Oreo this day, there's also a whopping great serve of bromancer and he's in a foaming frenzy ...

It was left to the bromancer to uphold the Catholic Boys' Daily perspective, the Catholic Church having played a vitally important role in the Enlightenment - well without the Inquisition, what could possibly have turned the spotlight on idle talk of freedom of speech, and the bromancer, in his usual way, was inclined to talk freely.

Indeed, indeed. 

Now some might think of Bernardi as a barking mad extreme right politician in bed with a small bunch of weird fundamentalist crow-eating Xians (fortunately not the cawing Crowe), but in the bromancer's world, this is called centre-right, and is profoundly respectable ...

Yes, the bromancer loves Cory, and the sooner the onion muncher joins forces, the sooner the country will have a new Enlightenment.

But for the moment, the cry must go out, won't someone think of the tykes ...

And this is where the pond must bring back in the poodle ... because he quite disgraced himself in the Oz yesterday, calling the tykes dishonest, as if the Inquisition was anything but honest inquiry into deviant, perverted thinking ... 

There's more in that piece for those who want to google it, but that's the nub of it, and for anyone truly perverted, there number of other reptile stories recounting the feud between the Catholics, the poodle and the onion muncher ...

But what does it mean? Well for a start, it means that it isn't just the onion muncher versus the poodle, it means that the Devine and the bromancer are in a fierce feud.

Devoted followers of the reptiles and even occasional readers of the pond will recall only this weekend that the Devine poured essence of Devine vitriole on certain Catholics, and being a fundie tyke deeply opposed to satanic poodle-ism in the matter of gay marriage, she had a certain street cred ...

The pond has cut it down to the nub of it - why do too much Devine repetition? - but the message was clear enough ...

Rule out the bromance performing dirty scribbling in their name?

Nope, but the pond is pleased to record that the Devine called out, in anticipation, the bromancer as being part of a dishonest scare campaign waged by rogue Catholics, and foresaw that the bromancer was in bed with the thuggish CFMEU ...

Now there's some knock-down sectarian fun at work within the herpetarium ...

And now, let the final enlightened bromancer gobbet roam wild and free ...

If ever comrade Bill comes to power, he can look back and thank the enlightened bromancer and all the rest of the reptiles, doing their best from their inner city eerie to lather up unhappiness throughout the land, knowing that whatever they scribble, the ABC will run with it and spread the message far and wide ...

The pond got quite teary recalling via Pope when the poodle and the onion muncher once danced together around the fire in loincloths and armed with spears ... with more papal insights available here ...