In which the pond boycotts the lizard Oz for the swish pleasures of a Switzer ...

The pond warned the reptiles. It would accept no substitutes for an early morning Oreo, particularly someone as wretched and as indolent as Bjorn, the long-enduring climate denialist yawn ...

If the pond wants to be Bjorn again, it can always head off to other sources. Why just three days ago, Project Syndicate, given to publishing a bunch of useless tools and useful fools, had a story Paris is not the solution, which began ...

COPENHAGEN – President Donald Trump’s withdrawal of the United States from the Paris climate agreement leaves the US without a global warming policy. That is alarming. But the world’s response – to double down on the pact in opposition to Trump – should also cause concern.

There have been two conflicting responses to Trump’s decision – often heard from the very same person. 

Calling him a reptile "columnist" and running the two pars together suddenly makes it a lizard Oz piece? Even five minutes in the magic science oven couldn't reheat this stale bilge into a tasty meal ...

Besides, if the pond wanted endless Lomborgian attacks on Paris, and devious dissembling on assorted subjects, the arch manipulator can be found at his own site here ... boasting about getting the facts straight, an idle boast given Lomborg's relationship to facts.

This is the best they've got?

Oh sure, the Oz editorialist might rabbit on about how we should stay in Afghanistan because after all, there's a record to be broken in matching up to the Hundred Years War, and we might like to think of ourselves as the plucky Scots in that record-breaking attempt.

Becca might go the gays, the meretricious Merritt might be defending the dog botherer against the fiendish Triggs, Kerin might do the Finkel, the cawing Crowe might position Malware in a wilderness of mirrors (lay off too much imbibing of Orson Welles, the pond says), but there are always other useful fools to observe in action.

Back in the day, the pond used to regularly attend the Fairfaxians to worship at the shrine of Paul Sheehan ...

That loon still lurks on Twitter, occasionally popping up to pop a red pill, and what a pale ale has followed in his footsteps ...

Tom Switzer has made vast swathes of RN a no go area for the pond, so it's pleasing to see him go about his business making Fairfax a vast no go swamp.

Back in the day, Switzer was part of little Johnny's baby, a centre designed to further a deep understanding of the Donald, which then followed the business model of all mangos and quangos ...

That was back in March 2017 this year, at Fairfax here, around the time that Switzer had a massive dummy spit and departed for the ABC ...nota bene that he didn't depart because of indignation at the way that the Centre had its nose in the taxpayer trough bigly, he departed because of a feud, and he headed to another cornucopia of taxpayer dollars ... so that meanwhile, he could write apologias for the Donald, no doubt as a way of furthering Australian understanding of the United States ...

Of course the art of the apologist, the useful fool, is to dress up the unseemly in a comely, seemly disguise ...

Suddenly the Donald's supporters are just ordinary Americans with an anxiety complex, and the Donald "sometimes seems to skirt the bounds of reasonable political discourse."

The implication is that the Donald might skirt the bounds, but somehow manages to stay inside the tent of reasonable political discourse.

So if and when the pond felt the need to talk of Crooked Lying Tom Switzer, it would all be part of reasonable political discourse, though perhaps at deep lysilly mid-on ...

At this point, Switzer led with a line that had the pond totally befuddled ...

Say what? "Even Congress, dominated by Trump's own party, rejected his keynote legislation to repeal Barack Obama's healthcare policies."

Say what? The pond couldn't make sense of it, neither head nor tail, though it did head off to read How the press is helping Republicans keep their health care bill secret ...

... seeing as how the Donald is allegedly subject to more intense media criticism than any president, including Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton, and how many more apologist fatuous nonsensical bits of nonsense can Switzer peddle in a short column?

Plenty more, it turns out, all explaining how hard done by the Donald is ... because it's all the fault of the left ...

Ah yes, that would be the Switzer sense, and in a nanosecond, essence of Ailes and Fox News and Orally and Breitbart and Alex Jones and Pizzagate and Sandy Hook are just dreams in the eyes of the enabling Megyn Kelly and NBN ...and ...

The Republican billionaire has previously called Jones a “nice guy” and appeared on his Infowars show in December 2015. “Your reputation is amazing,” Mr Trump said. “I will not let you down. You will be very, very impressed, I hope. And I think we’ll be speaking a lot.” (Independent, here).

Why play all this down, why seek to normalise the Donald, and his relationship with various extreme right loons, with Breitbart in the house in the form of Bannon, and Alex Jones on the rise?

And perhaps most amazingly to manage to do it while working on the ABC dime ...

Well that's the way it goes these days, and suddenly the Switzer is taking up the cause of the persecuted Donald and his talk of a witch hunt, because Switzer could make out a decent apologia for the Inquisition if anyone bothered to ask for it ...

In this sort of glib apologia, there's never ever any attention paid to the real scandal of Russian interference in the United States election, and General Flynn is swept under the carpet, and all those meetings with the Russians are dismissed as implausible or as simply a desire to re-set the relationship ... as if the Donald's business dealings with the Saudis have no implications in relation to his dealings with Qatar ...

But then to drag in Beria and Stalin, as if playing Godwin's Law, Stalin branch, is some kind of get out of jail card shows just what a fatuous fop.

Never mind, Donald Trump has finally found something to give Vladimir Putin. It's called Cuba ...

As for quoting the notorious liar Putin, in defence of the notorious liar the Donald, it does at least explain why vast swathes of RN are now as remote as parts of Siberia to the pond ... or perhaps an ice chunk the size of Texas breaking off to drift aimlessly in the ocean while melting ...

As for the Donald actually meeting Putin? Well you get more coherence and sense out of American comedian than out of the Switzer ...

Indeed.

The pond can't speak for Americans. But RN, Fairfax and Switzer seem to have lost their senses over here ...

Now the pond can hear that the world today is gone, and the Switzer world has begun, and the pond must switch off and go for a calming soothing walk ...

Oh and for anyone wondering, that card popped up in this Seth Meyers' week-old Closer Look. He can't help it if Kelly is now his stable mate ...just as he can't help making Switzer sound like a comedian with a singular lack of talent ...