In which the pudel produces a civil war and the reptiles go into a frenzy ...

The pond is struggling to keep up with all the latest reptile frolics.

There was yesterday's digital splash, with caring Caroline trying to remind us that it was all Comrade Bill's fault, even if everyone knew the onion muncher was the official leader of the opposition, and the dog botherer was out and about, shouting gloom from the rooftops ...

And then last night Media Watch had a spray at Akker 'white powder' Dakker,  Rowan the incredibly Mean, and Miranda the vitriolic Devine, here, about sordid columns the pond had done its best to ignore, suggesting that the London fire was the fault of the greenies.

Paul Barry seemed surprised by the baleful ignorance and vile bile of the trio, perhaps forgetting that the Devine once urged the hanging of greenies from nearby lamp posts, and understated his conclusion:

All in all, Dean, Devine and Akerman have excelled themselves. For cheap, nasty, tasteless political shots you really could not do much better.

That's it? How about "these rabid dogs should be put down, or at least neutered, their baying at the moon only being fit for a blog about loons."

And speaking of baying hounds, it was time to catch up with the dog botherer, as stale as yesterday's fish and chips wrappings ...

Indeed, indeed, because the onion muncher was such a rip-snorting success, though the pond has to admire the way that the dog botherer believes that he's somewhere in the mainstream, as opposed to being off in the barking mad fundie camp of onion munching faithful:

Naturally the reptiles couldn't resist making black hand jokes this day, while celebrating the modest, reticent way that the onion muncher helps keep unity afoot for the party with his regular radio appearances:

Meanwhile, the reptiles were in an uproar this day with all the turmoil ...

It's not as if they entirely forgot other issues ... the reptiles still remembered that they were the Catholic Boys' Daily and needed to maintain the rage ...

The pond blames Blaise's parents for many of his troubles ...they couldn't have been followers of the comic strip, could they? Look at the movie that produced!

... but whatever agitates Blaise, apart from gay marriage and all the usual, as a result the pond has seen him turn up regularly at MercatorNet, The Spectator and Centre for Independent Studies ...

Try as Blaise might, the pond refused to be distracted by him away from the main game of onion munching factional feuds and fusses ...resulting in total uproar and complete upheaval in the land, and complete chaos unleashed in the herpetarium ...

Oh that's a low blow. Not so much that the poodle should be in the Labor party but that the reptiles persist in watching Q and A and making it a top of the digital page story ...

But it allows the pond to turn to the cawing Crowe ...

What a pitiful cry, what a piteous bleat ...

Please, oh please, won't somebody do something ...

Does the cawing Crowe realise what he's saying? That the dog botherer is ugly, the onion muncher is ugly, and all the rest of the outraged conservatives are ugly ... or at least capable of ugly, appalling outrage ...

In times of trouble some turn to mother Mary for comfort, but what sayeth the Oz editorialist?

Oh dear that's not sounding good. Malware needs to make the onion muncher a team player? He needs to unite with the onion muncher?

Is there a T-shirt in the house?

Now there's probably someone out there marvelling at the state of agitation in the herpetarium, given the evidence that the reptiles get agitated month after month after month, while most everybody else goes about their daily business troubled by other issues than factional games ...

Clearly that subtle response required in January to deal with factional games failed, and so we come to the current exercises in the field ...

Dammit, pudel, you've started a civil war ...

Or did the civil war begin the day the onion muncher toppled Malware as leader of the opposition?

And so to the most favourite reptile game of all ... personal loyalties, betrayals, back stabbings and conspiracies ...

Indeed, indeed. Just how in control of his party is Malware? After all, he long ago had the devoted, unswerving, undying loyalty of the onion muncher ...

Here for that, as Lyons went in to a harrowing tale which moved the pond to tears ...

And that's where a fierce loathing of poofters has led the onion muncher and the Liberal party ... with the reptiles following along blindly demanding that somebody do something, apparently forgetting that the onion muncher stitched them up something shocking about a matter which should have, and could have, been resolved long ago, except for the bigotry of the fundamentalist onion muncher and the Catholic church ... 

And surely that's more than enough irony for the Catholic Boys' Daily this day ...(with more recent Wilcox here).