In which the savvy Savva seizes on the Devine's fascinating idea and runs with it ...

Being dedicated to the notion that politics is first of all about entertaining the citizenry, and only secondarily to stuffing up the country - valuable though that aim is - the pond was mortified at stepping out of the tent for a nanosecond to enjoy peak hour travel on the inner west Mike Baird express. Who knew that the Tokyo experience was so close to hand?

Even worse, the pond missed Miranda the Devine at her sharpest and her finest, and yesterday was possibly the finest hour of all, the full flowering of her intellect ... and as a result, the pond must perforce embark on a super duper interminable piece dealing with the "onion muncher problem."

First the Devine's bright idea ...

Indeed, indeed, and the onion muncher is superbly qualified to match some of the country's greatest GG's ...he loves the Queen and he might well enjoy a good dress-up, in his uncouth budgie smuggler way ...

  

But the Devine hadn't finished. On and on she waxed, while some readers began to wane ...

Indeed, indeed, what patriot's heart wouldn't beat a tad quicker to see the onion muncher on parade? Like some of the greatest GG's of our time ...

Now there were a few sceptical voices ... even amongst devoted Devine followers always ready to spot deviant leftists ...

Oh the deviants, oh the shame ...

Meanwhile, the story, the genius of the idea, resonated around the globe ...

Malware himself recognised it as a creative and original and fascinating solution over at Sky News ...

It's entirely appropriate that Malware should be cautious, but here is a man of genius just wanting to contribute, and eager to seize any opportunity to be helpful ... why only this day in the digital Oz, the good little helper was at the top of the page in "Tykes R Us" mood...

Yet as much as he tries to help, the onion muncher senses a certain sort of distance, as noted by Sky News ...

Indeed, indeed. Yet a moment's thought would suggest that the onion muncher could be a tremendous way to bring together the nation, as other great GG's have done ...

Cue the canny Savva ... ready to note the tremendous revolution that's stirring in the heart of Australia, mighty Warrnambool ...

Well, it's not Tamworth, but it's almost Tamworth, and is there any higher praise than that?

What a heart-warming tale, but what does this mean for the onion muncher and the pond's quest for entertainment?

Oh say it isn't so. Get thee gone is all that's left for the onion muncher because mighty Warrnambool has spoken?

Well the pond mentioned the cunningness of the canny Savva, and naturally she saved the best for last ...

Here we must remember that Savva has connections that take her right to the heart of the Malware court, and so what she says has an imprimatur that only lacks a little sealing wax and cabbages to confirm it came straight from the king ...

There, you see. Mighty Warrnambool has spoken, and what we need is the onion muncher as GG, and if anyone had any pragmatism and any sense, the deal would be done, and Australians would be delighted to see the new GG reaffirm long held standards of behaviour ...

For one, his best first move would be surely to sack the government and call a general election ...

Now the pond is aware that some might think of all this as just the usual petty courtship intrigue that surrounds a monarch, but others took it seriously, and the pond must pay attention ... though John Lyons started out by being something of a spoilsport, taking aim at the Devine dream endorsed by the savvy Savva...

The pond supposes we must have some discussion of policy, never mind that this has absolutely nothing to do with entertainment ...

Now here's the cleverness of the Lyon solution. It's perhaps not as good as the GG solution, but it's still tremendous. What do you do with a wrecker seeking revenge, a man who ruins almost every policy as soon as it's announced?

Why, you let him into the lounge room so he can do a Pollock in the fireplace.

We've been there before and it was top notch entertainment ...

With the right team spirit, surely this can be made to happen again?

Indeed, indeed, the man who is a wrecker seeking revenge should be promoted, no doubt on the basis that he was one of the singularly most unimpressive health ministers to do the rounds, because when it comes to governing he's a wrecker of the first water ...

The pond was reminded, thanks to the seven per cent Lyons solution, of this little outburst by Laura Tingle, which set the pond a-tingling in Adams style ...

There's more here - it seems to be outside the AFR paywall at this time as the Fairfax journalists maintain the rage and strike at the idea of handsomely rewarding management for singular incompetence in the digital age - and Tingle prophetically ended it this way ...

Backed by the tailwind of a gushing and fawning conservative media, Abbott had every opportunity to set a new highwater mark for the right in Australia. 
But as his own conservative colleagues publicly abandon him, it is a sign of Abbott's utter failure that he has even made this unfashionable.

That was in February and here we are in May discussing whether an incompetent minister and prime minister, a notorious liar and clunkhead, should be rewarded for his sniping, undermining and white-anting with a return to the ministry, or better still, booted upstairs to be GG ...

Is it any wonder that the pond has returned the loon to his rightful position in the masthead of the pond?

And if he stays in parliament and gets to join Team Malware, working for Team Australia, the pond can look forward to many more photo opportunities ...

All the grace and style of a boofhead, but as for the rest, there's probably a novel in it ...