In which the pond does a reptile potpourri, with dashing Donners emerging as a star for the Catholic Boys' Daily ...

Each day the pond wakes up to the reptile news, and wonder why its head feels like the aftermath of a three day binge, and its mind feels comprehensively fucked ...

The pond decided that the best way to explain this phenomenon was to take a look at a few of the headlines, just a couple of tastes, hair of the dog for the daily hangover, so to speak ...

As noted above, this latest day started filled with alarums and panics about banks daring to contemplate coal as a business, or an ethical, proposition, or even both ...

Of course in reptile la la land ethics is what you experience when you bite into a savoury slice of the last white rhino ...

Mmm tasty ... but the pond is here to help - the reptiles don't seem to have realised that there is a dastardly mob of socialist pinko perverts out there who have organised street libraries, where books are given away for free, thereby undermining the entire basis of western civilisation ...

 

The pond wakes in a cold sweat each day just thinking about it ...

Have the reptiles ever wondered about the connection between banks, street libraries, coal and the end of western civilisation? Probably not.

But that was just the start of the pond's daily nightmare ...

Look, over there... there was the sweet lesser Akker Dakker, taking her red pill for the day ...

Keep on stirring that pot, keep on trotting old the same old saws ...

And then, remarkably, after years and years of promoting the joys of copper and the uselessness of speed, fibre, the NBN and the whole damn thing, the reptiles were astonished to learn that their campaign has been wildly successful ...

Yep, it's EXCLUSIVE to the pond that the reptiles helped fuck it up ...

Well it's not really EXCLUSIVE but that's the sort of thing you say when as a fake news site you want to draw attention to lots of deadbeat beat-ups of old news...because getting up to speed is really the last thing you want in red-pill-taking, tree-killer land ...

Speaking of a genuinely exclusive ning nong, Johnsie was also out and about today ...in a role he's exceptionally skilled at ...

Not just peasants, anyone other than Johnsie that dares to have an opinion ...

There's something about that talk of "knowing your place" by stupid gits that puts the pond's teeth on edge, and reminds the pond of angry Sydney Anglicans ...

But speaking of religion, perhaps the most pleasing news was the panic and alarum running through both the tree-killer and digital editions of the Catholic Boys' Daily.

The tykes were up in arms ...

     

Of course Johnsie would have known what to say to the fractious tykes, bleating about 'fairness', when what is really meant is a fair chance to suck fairly hard on the taxpayer teat to propagate the Roman ponzi scheme ...

But did it put the pond in a difficult place?

Could Malware have at last done something right and bunged on a state schools row, with the shrieking tykes in a state of total shock?

The pond had thought he was just fucking over schoolkids, shortly after having fucked over university students, as part of an epic ongoing war against the young and a transference of all debt to them so that future generations might be plagued and cursed while baby boomers maintained the housing bubble cruise ...

More Moir here, as the pond began to wonder whether Malware had refined the war, and turned his guns on the Catholics ...

As always, the pond turned to the most reliable source of all, dashing Donners ...

No doubt modernist Johnsie would have a bit of manga handy to remind Donners he really shouldn't be carrying on ...

But the pond was moved to tears by dashing Donners' poignant plea, and at the end of his piece, it will become absolutely clear that the unbiased Donners has absolutely no horse in this race. He writes from an unimpeachable position of complete disinterest.

That noted, the pond knew it was a matter of gravitas, of utmost piety, because remarkably, it was short ...

So it's official. The coal-led recovery model is now at war with youff, the tykes, NBN speed, the banks, the onion muncher, dashing Donners and the whole damn world ...

Second thoughts, is it any wonder that between the special daily pleading of the reptiles and getting the news via the reptiles, the pond prefers to cleanse the palate with a couple of cartoons about the issues of the day, with more Rowe available here ...