In which the pond savours the Speccie, though they're not a patch on the Saray ...

When things get too tiresome at the lizard Oz - Friday is the dullest of days, as the reptiles prepare for their mega weekend edition of madness - the pond sometimes sneaks off to the Spectator ...

Here it's possible to find some reptiles of the lizard Oz kind moonlighting, and by the magic of metaphor, sauntering about in the sun and taking to the waves ...

Fred Pawle, for example ... an Oz reptile by day, and a lad who pays no heed to Godwin's Law, though the pond would love to be able to sneak off with the contents of his swear jar ...

Pawle went on an epic rant about the Bloodlust of the greenies, which, it has to be said, is worthy of Miranda the Devine at her best, in her 'hang a greenie from the nearest lamp-post' days ...

Kill them all, the long, the short, the tall, and the fiends that swim through Pawle's nightmares.

There's plenty more at source, but the fear and loathing is palpable. Who knew that Pawle's hero was Mayor Larry Vaughn in Jaws?

The pond always suspected that surfing rotted the brain, but Pawle manages to make thugby leaguers sound like considered intellectual giants ...

Never mind, this is just a savoury set of dips ... of the kind that can be found at the pond's favourite supplier of Turkish pizza and kebabs, the Saray on Emore Road ... tough if you're a sandgroper or a croweater ...

Anyone can head off to the Speccie for the main course - after all, a click these days means SFA in terms of revenue, and what harm is there to walk amongst the loons and observe their obsessions?

One prize regular loon is Neil Brown, who reminded the pond that, along with a few others in News Corp la la land, the Speccie is one of the last hold outs for "bring back the onion muncher" ...

What a classic. Like him or loathe him, at least you knew what he stood for.

Exactly, and the pond used that logic all the time with Hitler, until there was simply no more room in the Godwin's Law swear jar ...

It takes a special kind of simple-minded futtock of the first water to scribble this sort of nonsense, and then run through the litany of obsessions like somebody racing through a bunch of Hail Marys to get to the end of the rosary ...

Now the pond swears blind by the peppery vine leaf roll you can score at the Saray, so it's time to talk food - oh dear, should we have given it away, will there be a ruinous rush? - and Satyajeet Marar blathering on in a way which would send the sugar-loving Caterists into a frenzy of admiration ...

Sublime. Who else but Satyajeet Marar could make the subtle distinction between "realistic appraisal of what we know", as opposed to "not preached to ..."

Yes, but we know sausage rolls, party pies, burgers, fast food, soda pop and the like are fucked ... oops, sorry, sounds like the pond is doing an Elmer Gantry ...

It takes a special kind of simple-minded futtock of the first water to scribble this sort of nonsense, and even worse, there's no evidence in his LinkedIn page that Sayajeet Marar isn't scoring the odd laugh, or even a chuckle, from the junk food industry.

What then is the point of scribbling so furiously about political correctness in such an inane way? At least the sugar-doting Caterists get a hearty candy-laden cash in the paw advance from the federal government's taxpayer fund each year ...

Moving on, amongst the many other sublime offerings, there came a piece by Michael Davis which sated the pond's desire for Trumpinania ...

Immensely satisfying in its sublimity. Where else would it be possible to read "Now, I've learned nothing in the last year if not to trust Trump. He always seems to know what he's doing, even when no one else does."

To follow this with talk of a Trump decision - made by Trump, owned by Trump - as being bad timing is worthy of ... well, really, it's worthy of the Donald himself ...

It takes a special kind of simple-minded futtock of the first water to scribble this sort of nonsense, and you'll find much more at the Spectator ... where mindless futtockry is a state of mind ...

Remember, these days a click is worth nothing much, and yet the pleasures to be derived from ideological ratbags forced to give their obsessions away for virtually nothing can produce a relaxing state of bliss ...

Oh poop, oh joy, there but for the long absent lord, we too might walk in the shadows of the valley of the loons ...

Well as the pond ended with talk of the Donald and his most excellent timing - what a trustworthy, entirely truthful man he is, no wonder Michael Davis trusts him so, how remarkably competent he is - it's by good luck that Rowe this day has delivered a cartoon showing the Donald  in all  his finery ...

By golly, Michael Davis must love this emperor's fine clothes, with more handy Rowe here ...

No, no, no, Michael Davis will thank him now ... and the pond will keep on enjoying the rich comedy, which it goes without saying, has continued on and on ...

When  even Charlie Krauthammer takes a view, the pond suspects it's all a plot by the Donald to make Fox News' contributors sound normal, or even worse a bunch of lefties ...contrast how Fox tried to spin this, up against what the Hammer wrote for the librul media at WaPo in A political ax murder ... or just watch Seth Meyers ...