Despite a host of jostling reptiles putting on lavish and tempting displays, each Monday the pond likes to spend time with the Major Mitchell, a man who has arguably contributed much to the degradation of quality journalism in the digital era ... though he himself rather fancies himself as a noble explorer ...
Perhaps the truth lies somewhere between the parrot and Australia Felix ... but it also provides the pond with the regular opportunity to link to David Marr's Chris Mitchell's massive Marxist memory lapse: mate, I could have put you right ...
But that was then, and for those who've been there and done that, this is now ...
Indeed, indeed... speaking of lighter moments ... and the quest for that Order of Lenin ...
And now the pond takes stray readers back to the Major Mitchell, not wandering in the lush pastures of Victoria, but in the arid by-ways of beer-sodden memory lane ...
Indeed, indeed ...
But finally the pond perked up with this bit of memory-lane Mitchell ...
Jolly Joe and the Onion Muncher! That's a title up there with Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, or Fat Man and Little Boy.
By golly it wasn't just the beer that was drunk, it was the red wine that flowed freely ...
By golly it wasn't just the beer that was drunk, it was the red wine that flowed freely ...
Oh dear, let's hope they're back on speaking terms ...back in March Crikey reported that the onion muncher still had the sulks ...
To keep the celebration and the plonk flowing, the pond just had to head off for another gobbet from the Major Mitchell, this time from the excerpts in the lizard Oz, all available via googling ...
Distinguished advisor to potentates, princes and politicians, and only one too dumb to listen ... and so to conclude with a humorous anecdote ...
Oh wait, it was meant to be humorous, but is the stench of rampant hypocrisy and the sight of crocodile tears all that funny?
Suddenly the reptiles are weeping for the Fairfaxians?
Could it be because soon they will be weeping for themselves, lost in the valley of tears, where the messiah Mitchell led them?
Yes, the sinking ships snipe at each other as sounds of takeovers fill the air ...was this only in 2016?
Yes, the sinking ships snipe at each other as sounds of takeovers fill the air ...was this only in 2016?
Never mind strike-breaking Joe, you can find newer First Dog here, as older First Dog celebrates the thoughts of the major Mitchell ...
Nostalgic Old Fart whinges / waxes nostalgic about the Good Old Days:- "we were sent to Canberra/ it cost so much / such hardship / who were these bludging pollies and public servants around us? / but gee we were great / Bill Leak was a genius-saint / then we had a beaut feed and hit the turps / no telling tales out of school / ha-ha-ha...".
ReplyDeleteFaaark - and did you actually accomplish anything, other than stating the bleeding obvious from Budget Explanatory Statements or, more likely, just putting the bosses' required spin on things? Did you make any real difference to the lives of your readers or the general public? Did you ever think that this was perhaps something more than a show put on for your entertainment, and that those pathetic bureaucrats were actually just trying to do their jobs - and weren't getting a nice meal and expense account drinkies out of it? Did you ever wonder whether you were engaged in anything more than a mutual wank-fest with your fellow reptiles, and a dick-swinging contest to see who could be the first to issue a set of stories identical to all the others? No - I suspect you didn't do any of that, but somehow you think that your half-arsed war stories make you an authority on... well, something. Nothing of any use, that's for sure.
Enjoy your drift into increasing irrelevance, Major Mitchell.
I loved the bit where he says: "...being informed by a full reading of the budget and discussion with Paul Kelly, Judith Sloan, Henry Ergas, Dennis Shanahan and Adam Creighton."
DeleteOh wau, what a crew: Kelly, Sloan, Ergas, Shanahan, Creighton and the Maj. Mitch. No piece of triviality left unreported, no ideological nonsense left unexpounded.