Please, stay calm. In the pond's experience, a settling Rowe, a dash of bleach, and a feast of reptile stew will sort out most anxieties, calm down grumbly tums, and remember, it is what it is, with more settling Rowe here ...
Yes, the pond decided to dedicate today to the Donald, but then what choice did it have, as all the reptile heavyweights have piled on. So, in order of debate, we have the bromancer, the dog botherer, and then to send everyone back to sleep, a dose of nattering "Ned" which is better, in the pond's mind, than any prescription medicine to be found anywhere in the land ...
Of course irony and talk of karma is lost on the reptiles, so we'll have none of that here, and if you want any sensible insights, please stop immediately, and go elsewhere. For braver souls, the bromancer at least seems to have caught up with the news, if only to dismiss it as a trifle ...
What is needed is a cool mind, able to deal with the situation as it presents itself, and see opportunity at every corner ...
Oh what a tease he is, only two, and without any hint of drama, even as the pond was preparing an idea for a pitch for an outline for a series for Netflix?
What a third act. The man who mocks the virus gets nailed by the virus, and Killer Creighton is sent into a tizz, along with the markets. Please, Netflix, pay attention ...
Never mind, relax, the bromancer is here to dispel the furies ...
Sheesh, that's weird. The pond distinctly remembers the bromancer celebrating the Donald's debating style ... what a style it is ...
... and calling him a winner (check the pond just a few days ago)...
But that was yesterday, and the virus seemed so far away, and Killer Creighton was at play, and the bromancer was making Donald hay, and now the virus seems like it's here to stay ...
Indeed, indeed ... what a campaign it was, the pond goes all misty-eyed with the bromancer thinking about it, but how strange he seems to think the rationale has gone away, when really it's just been more of the same ... dealing with the foreigners and the gangsters undermining the American way of life ...
But the pond must be cautious about over-use of cartoons and should finish off the bromancer, because the dog botherer is impatiently waiting in the wings with his chainsaw ...
Now the dog botherer is a proud boy, and a full Trumpian, so naturally the reptiles did him proud, with a tremendous illustration ...
What a relief it is, because it removes the need of the pond to start with a graphic. We can just plunge straight into the dumpster fire of dog botherer thinking ...
Indeed, indeed, what a splendid place it is, though QAnon and the Donald himself seem not to be so sure ...
Well it is the country that gave the world Scientology, the KKK, the proud boys, Fox and Friends, and assorted other forms of lunacy, and naturally the dog botherer is fine with all of that ...
Indeed, indeed, why would the dog botherer find any issue with someone who is aggressive, narcissistic, self-centred, uncultured, crude and bombastic? Why it's the dog botherer to a T, though the pond thinks he's underestimating himself and the Donald by trotting out the notion of "almost monosyllabic." The reality is, neither the Donald nor the dog botherer can shut up, even when invited to do so ...
The good news is that there's just another dog botherer gobbet to go ... but the pond can't hep but notice a certain karma, a certain irony, in that it seems that the doggie fucker filed before the word had spread, and so he could talk, in relation to the matter of the virus, of a penchant for pragmatism being replaced by nanny-state preferences ... and we know where that sort of talk can lead ...
Yes on any other day Melania saying what a fucking bore Xmas is would have been front and centre in the pond's irony "to do" list, but it seems god is an even bigger bitch than the pond realised, and She will not be denied her idle cruelties and rampant ironies, and so the dog botherer must blather on about a penchant for pragmatism just so the pond can suffer a laughing fit, and roll Jaffas down the aisle ...
Here's the thing. The dog botherer makes a living as a member of the chattering classes. All he does is chatter on endlessly, tedious fart and bore that he is ... but he's a genuine lightweight up against nattering "Ned", who this day shows how to bore the socks off everyone ...
That headline gives it away. "Ned" is going to indulge in a bout of hand-wringing and Chicken Little both siderism, without the style of the dog botherer, who naturally wants the person who most resembles himself to win ...
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Alas and alack, the pond will run out of cartoons long before "Ned" finishes ...
Why? Please "Ned", just look to the dog botherer and the bromancer above!
Don't you ever read the lizard Oz? Have you stopped drinking the kool aid, perhaps because you're working from home? Now please, get on with your both siderism, so the few remaining pond readers can get back to their naps ...
But what of chairman Rupert in this? What of Fox News? What of Fox and Friends? Who lit the match that started the dumpster fire?
Yes, it was Fox that presided over the dumpster fire, and it's Fox that originally set the dumpster on fire ... but "Ned" knows nothing of any of that, so it's on with the both siderist scribbling ...
Strange how that talk of a dumpster fire fired the imagination of cartoonists, yet invariably it seemed there was only one dumpster on fire ...
But back to "Ned", still wringing his hands, apparently unaware that he's a kissing cousin of the bromancer, the dog botherer and Fox and Friends ...
Indeed, indeed, but what's Biden's biggest crime? Why he accepts climate science, when every reptile in the land knows that it's a hoax and a fraud, and what an unnecessary problem it will cause SloMo, who deep down knows that the rapture will come before the world fries ...
Well that's the end of "Ned's" natter, and the pond congratulates anyone who made it this far without throwing the cat outside, or worse throwing something at the cat, or even worse, putting butter on the cat's paws, because it never works, so don't even think about putting butter on reptile paws. For all "Ned's" tedious guff, they'd be happy for a narcissist con artist and snake oil selling clown to win, because nothing says winning like catching a hoax and having to go into hiding ...
Instead allow the pond to end with a beguiling Pope. Some might find it a little ineluctable, a little baffling, a tad mystifying, but please allow the pond to fantasize that the Devil has just finished reading the pond's idea for a pitch for an outline for its Netflix series (though Stan, if you're listening, the pond will accept bids) ...
A "befuddled man" - how dare they!
ReplyDeleteThis is one of those occasions where the reptiles have prepared a line of argument that doesn't fit with the observed outcomes but they lack the wit to pivot to another line of attack. With any other candidate it might be a reasonable tactic but they should have realised that anyone would look articulate next to Trump.
Actually, Biden has looked quite statesmanlike by comparison, especially in his comments about Trump's illness. He's a better man than me, all I could manage would be "ha ha ha ha".
Anyway, the offerings today have all repeated the neoliberal creed, committing themselves to tax cuts for the wealthy and the fight against renewables. It's not like we have more pressing problems.
This seemed fanciful when I first saw it but it seems this is the way the world works under Pax Americana
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/TimInHonolulu/status/1311893057042706432?s=20
From the twitter string "It's the plane that has the ability to order the killing of everyone on earth if someone attacks the US with nukes in a first strike. It can talk to our missile subs under water even if DC is gone."
You thought the world was safer with Trump side-lined?
Mind you, really happy to believe it's just a coincidence but Fox is running that line so I am still worried.
DeleteMight still be better to have an AI plane with its finger on the trigger than an NS* Trump.
DeleteI recall a short scifi story (alzheimers has eaten its name) in which the only thing left active on Earth is an automatic plane which flies over "enemy" territory then returns to refuel and load up more bombs. And of course the "enemy" anti-aircraft guns (in the days before sophisticated missiles) try to shoot it down but they have all run out of ammunition and when the plane returns home, there are no bombs left to load into it.
So it would continue its futile sorties - since the automatic machinery back at home base can keep it in perfect operating condition - until the source of fuel eventually runs out hundreds of years in the future. A fine testimony to homo saps saps.
*Naturally Stupid.
Well, the scary thing is that this is probably 'business as usual', we just don't usually take any notice.
DeleteTalking abut "business as usual" - in what is actually a complete change of topic - but have you read yesterday's Guardian "Weekly Beast". Oh my, but "The parrot" is being parroted by a newcomer: Ben Fordham has got an almost identical listener rating to the one that the "irreplaceable" Jones had.
DeleteAnd Jones is comfortably trailing Bolt, Credlin and Murray on SAD (Sky After Dark), but is way ahead of Chris Kenny (surprise, surprise !) who only gets about half of Jones's audience.
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2020/oct/02/2gbs-irreplaceable-alan-jones-easily-replaced-in-the-ratings-by-ben-fordham
So the Bromancer seeks to inform us that: "...in Britain, the polls said the race was close, but Johnson won a huge majority." The ignorance would be stunning if the Bromancer weren't a leading reptile. Remember that Britain is a 'first past the post voluntary voting' country, so if the polls said the votes were very nearly equal, but Boris de Pfeffel won by just one single vote in a large number of electorates he would win a "huge majority" of seats. And if, by any chance, Corbyn had won every other seat by a comfortable majority then he would have easily won the "popular" vote, but still lost a "huge majority" of seats. Just like Hillary, really.
ReplyDeleteNow there's not a reptile alive who could understand that (except maybe Katrina Grace), is there. But the fact is that in 2017 May won 13,636,684 votes and in 2019 Johnson won 13,966,454, a difference of all of 330,000 (approx) and that was enough for the Conservatives to win 48 seats. Labour, on the other hand got 10,269,051 votes in 2019 and 12,878,460 in 2017, a difference of minus 2.6 million votes which was enough to lose Labour 60 seats.
So, to be very clear: Johnson did not "win a huge majority", Labour just lost a lot of seats. The Liberal Democrats, by the way, went from 2,371,772 votes and 12 seats in 2017 to 3,696,423 votes and just 11 seats in 2019: up about 1.3 million votes, down one seat.
It's a tad like the R0 for Covid-19, it's likely that neither the Bro or the readership grasp how the maths work.
DeleteFirst past the post voluntary voting is clearly the best way to facilitate popular stupidity.
”If the coronavirus slows him down to merely warp speed, it could even, just possibly, make Trump more effective as a political commentator. Wouldn’t that be the most astonishing turn-up of all in this most astonishing presidency.”
ReplyDeleteI knew Sheridan would come up with some wild conjecture that no one else was smart enough to notice, but I thought it would be better: this is a stroke of unconventional genius by a man playing 3D chess. Reculer pour mieux sauter, there is a deep strategy here.
Kenny is now running on Dogbot 1.01. This update is really just a patch that stops phrases like “so-called elites” from occurring more than once.
“Sought to restrain North Korea”. This accomplishment makes Harry Truman look very feeble.
I had looked down Dorothy’s compilation for today several times, but was unable to shake the sense of deja vu. I had not worked out, as NH has, that we are now receiving the benefit (?) of ‘Dogbot 1.01’.
DeleteApart from a patch that restricts repetition of remarkably silly phrases, it seems to have an extra ‘randomizer’ sub-routine that helps each ‘new’ contribution actually read as if it were new. Or, at least, survive a text analysis program.
This could leave the Kenny more time to work on his presentations on ‘Sky’, in the hope of improving his miserable ratings there.
Anyway, well spotted NH.
Bromancer again: "I thought he may have made a little headway in the first debate in seeding doubts about Biden on law and order and the economy. But the polls still put Trump well behind."
ReplyDeleteWell goodness gracious me ! This is the point at which I used to wonder if the Bromancer was just outrageously stupid, or whether he was merely trying to con us. I now know that the Bro is even more outrageously stupid than I thought. So, when the Bromancer says: "Trump is pro-business, pro-deregulation, pro-energy independence via fracking and new exploration, low tax and vigorous about gaining trade advantages for the US and repatriating manufacturing." he's just telling us about the things Trump hasn't done, in the main, and the few that he has done are just bad for the planet. And last time I looked, the USA was still part of the planet and likely to remain so for longer than the human race.
Now cop this one: "The great simplifier [Trump] was caught up in too many complexities. If the coronavirus slows him down to merely warp speed, it could even, just possibly, make Trump more effective as a political communicator."
Yes, Trump is ideed 'warped', but that rant comes from a ripe noodlenut who, despite absolutely no idea about the existence of "God" thought he could write an inspirational book about how 'God Is Good For You'. Which, apparently according to the Catholic Herald had sold the incredible number of 'more than 20,000' in June 2019. Wau, 'more than 20,000' in a world of about 2.3 billion Christians - or about 13 million Australian Christians - a runaway best seller, yes ?
Given the incredible obtuseness that the Bromancer exhibits day after day, I'm not surprised. Are you ?
Sorry, I have to have another bite at this. I nearly choked when I got "Trump is pretty robust".
DeleteSure, with a bit of practice he can drink a glass of water - - still not sure about ramps though.
This is typical Trump and Bromancer bumpf, rather stupid posturing to pretend you are something you are not. It's probably understandable for someone that thinks religion consists of dressing up and poncing about.
For your amusement:
https://twitter.com/drphiliplee1/status/1311902775211634688?s=20
I kind of hope that kid survives this.
I liked the bit about: "Every patient deserves kindness and compassion whatever their politics." Ok, but what do those who practice rabid warmongering and hostility, and who are gross, hostile liars, deserve ?
DeleteOr is what Trump practices just considered to be 'situation normal' politics nowadays.
The Doggy Bov would like to say that: "Trump is not the kind of person most of us embrace in our personal relations. He is aggressive, narcissistic, self-centred, uncultured, almost monosyllabic, crude and bombastic."
ReplyDeleteAnd that's when he's at home, beer and burger in hand, socialising with friends and family. It's pretty much a spot on condemnation by the Doggy Bov, so I can only assume it's a thoughtful, truthful assessment, and hence DoggyB is a true exponent of Trump Worship Syndrome.
But enough of a lightweight like the Doggy Bov, let's get on to a true fart-farf such as Nullius Ned and the usual question: what braindead syndrome will he be exhibiting today ? So he starts with: "Calling Donald Trump a disrupter is a weasel word euphemism." Ok, I won't call him that then But can I take a hint from Ned: "The risk for Trump is that it casts him as a loser."
Oh no, a Trumpian "loser" and "sucker". Ned, what are you saying ? "This is Trump laying a claim to be more important than US democracy itself." Ooh, that doesn't sound good, Ned; any more of that and I might have to report you to the leader of the Loyal Trump Veneration Army, and we all know who that is don't we.
And when Ned expounds: "...it raises an intriguing question: why are Australian conservatives so perpetually forgiving of a President who violates virtually every norm of conservative behaviour." well, that's a question only a total Nullius could ask. And the answer has a huge amount to do with Ned's personal "identity politics". But one obvious point: at no stage did the Bromancer, the Doggy Boverer or Ned the Nullius even whisper the word "liar". Yet that is the single most appalling thing about Trump: he lies, and he lies, and he lies. And he will ever continue to do so.
And with that level of banal nonsense, it's definitely goodnight from him.
Indeed GB, and we wake to an ocean of confusion over Trump's health status due to a wide outbreak of - lying.
DeleteGod help the historians who have to unstitch the time-line of when Trump knew, and when he accepted it, and when he was forced to begin to act somewhere in the neighbourhood of responsibly.
When you have to go, leave 'em laughing in the aisles I guess.