Sssh, please don't mention the Donald's taxes, we're down under with the wrascally wreptiles ...

The pond supposes it should be startled, shocked, surprised, at the way that the reptiles have managed to disappear the NY Times' story about the Donald and his taxes. The reptiles have long maintained that they're something of a broadsheet national newspaper of record, but their ability to disappear things means that they're more a Pravda paper of record than the real thing.

Everywhere else the story has been at least given some coverage, cartoonists have run wild, speculation as to what else the Times has on the Donald has been rampant, as if what they've already dug up wasn't enough to go on with. But the reptiles? Nada, zip, zilch, nil, nihil, nowt, nix, not a dicky bird, sweet Fanny adams, zero ...

Still, the pond always lives in hope, and so at last when the bromancer turned his attention to the upcoming debate, the pond hoped that at last some small attention would be paid ...

 

 

Of course the debate will have been and gone early this day, so the bromancer is a bit like an ancient oldie who wandered down late in the morning to talk about the already opened Xmas presents ...

 

Well, it was fine for the reptiles to put Joe in the picture, but surely there would have been better angles to celebrate?

 

Well there's only one more bromancer gobbet to go, let's see if those pesky taxes cop at least a line ...

 

Who wins? The reptiles win. Not a word about taxes or the Donald as a businessman, just the usual waffle about Biden's verbal gaffes, because you know, the Donald never does gaffes and always tells the truth ...

 

And so to a disinterested piece where the scribbler has no skin in the game at all, is completely disinterested, in the sense of being unbiased, unprejudiced, impartial, neutral and non-partisan ...

 

Takeaway? Now there's a man who knows how to beguile the Donald ... though the pond has absolutely no idea why they're doing this grey-out, not when the disinterested one begins with "the growing consensus is that Australia eventually will ditch its largest and most reliable source of energy, coal ..."

Wash out your mouth sir. Why the bromancer explained on the reptile pages, and so in the pond, only a few days ago, how coal, dinkum, clean, innocent, pure Oz coal, was still all the go ... and anyway, most people have done the sums and discovered that nuclear energy is the most expensive option doing the rounds. You wouldn't be dissing coal to sell uranium would you?

 

Oh if the Finns reckon it's okay, great, we can ship all our shit there, and if something happens to the ship, who cares, the ocean's a mighty big place, and given its ability to handle all that plastic, it can probably take a little nuke shit ...

But why this talk of nukes? Is there a sting in the tail? Skin in the game? A hare on the loose?

 

Ah say no more, when the interests become obvious, the perceptions of the facts becomes obvious too ...

And so to the bonus for the day, and the pond had held out hope that Dame Slap would mount a strenuous defence of the Donald, and assault the NY Times, she being a MAGA cap wearer and all, but what do you know, she and the Swiss bank account man squared off over comrade Dan ...

The pond can't begin to explain how batshit bored the pond becomes these days when the reptiles get going on comrade Dan ...

Besides, if it wants an exercise in tedium and ennui, it will always first turn to nattering "Ned", the nonpareil master of the reptile art ...

 

Well he's not going to mention the Donald's taxes, is he, he's just going to rabbit on endlessly about how the rich need their tax break, and how deeply unfair tax breaks are deeply fair, because how the rich suffer, and he'll do it at tedious length by citing the thoughts of others ... but please, never mind, the pond is well aware of its prime duty, which is to bore stray readers silly ...

 

Sweet Jesus, not only can the man bore, what a way to twist an argument. If the media coverage takes for granted that the tax cuts are deeply unfair, what of the actual perpetrators of the unfairness? What of SloMo and Josh? Having devised them, and voted for them, how can they backtrack now? Easily if they wanted to, just as they've backtracked on the NBN, and coal, and gone full gaseousness, and stacks of other stuff ...

Well the pond didn't guarantee logic or reason would accompany the existential sense of alienated 'being or nothing' ennui, so on we plunge ...

 

Around that talk of "progressivity", the pond began to have deep regrets, and a feeling of guilt, especially as "Ned" resorted to his favourite trick to fill up a column, which is to quote someone else at great and tedious length ...

Perhaps a couple of cartoons in recompense, ones with a "progressivity" theme?

 

 

Ah, that's better, now back to "Ned" recycling Deloitte's figures explaining how the rich are doing all the heavy lifting, and all that talk of unfairness is entirely unfair, because those wondrous tax cuts are entirely fair to the rich...

 

Of course in the old days there would have been talk of deficits and such like nonsense ... and some, as John Quiggin in March here, would have talked of repairing the fiscal effects ...

I was asked by a journalist about the long-term fiscal effects of the government response to the crisis. Here’s what I said.
 In simple accounting terms the cost of the intervention so far can mostly be offset simply by cancelling the Stage 3 tax cuts legislated in advance for 2024-25 (this also happened when the Keating Labor government legislated for future tax cuts in the 1990s). These are projected to cost $95 billion over the five years to 2029-30
so the saving would easily offset the crisis intervention over 10 years.
That’s assuming that the crisis ends quickly and everything returns to the way it was before. I think we will end up with a substantially larger role for government, and therefore a permanent increase in the public sector share of national income, which means higher taxes.

Well it didn't go away quickly, and everything will take a long time to return to the way it was before, and there likely will be a substantially larger role for government, and yet in reptile la la land, all that's talked about is the way that the rich need their cash now ... 

Luckily the infallible Pope was on hand to lighten proceedings, and the pond wanted to spare a thought, and perhaps spare another penny for the rich ...

 

Strange as it might seem after that visit to the swamp dwellers, even Deloitte can't sustain the reptile dream of priming the economy with the rich going on a spending spree ...

 

Well that's enough of "Ned" recycling Deloitte and Richardson, and welcoming the tax cuts with open arms, no matter that they're deeply unfair, because who cares about deficits these days and because what we need is more Donaldism down under. And speaking of the Donald and taxes, which the reptiles apparently never do, why not wrap the day up with the usual immortal Rowe, with more Rowe here ...

In which assorted reptiles are offered for entertainment purposes only ...

 

The pond was mortified to see that it broke the very first rule suggested by Van Badham on ways to deal with cults, as noted in the Graudian here:

1. Disinformation experts recommend an “information hygiene” routine to prevent unwittingly spreading cult propaganda. People often share incendiary material with the intention of mocking or challenging its assertions – but platforms like Facebook regularly shear off contextualising comments. If you must mock, mock in your own words or memes; don’t ever republish the original to a wider audience.

Admittedly she was dealing with QAnon, which is pretty out there, but "don’t ever republish the original to a wider audience"??!! 

That's the pond's entire business model when dealing with the cult of the reptiles! Why it's like asking an herpetologist to cut off her far right arm.

Sure, the pond does mocking, in a mock turtle sort of way, but it's the readership who delight in, and do, the mocking and the diligent pointing out of errors, and provide the pond with valuable tips on other herpetological studies, and besides, there are music links to exchange when the reptiles get truly boring ...

The pond tried to put Van Badham's advice into practice. Killer Creighton was again on the loose ... LIVE...

 

 

So how should the pond respond, what should the pond do? Ignore him, and he'll go away? Refuse to print a word of his nonsense, and instead re-run that piece in the Saturday Paper, here, as a way to contextualise him?

…You might think these gossamer threads of bullshit would be swept away by subsequent events, that the bong-rip reasoning of “everyone dies, man” would look embarrassing after almost a million pandemic deaths. Wrong. Only an amateur columnist trips over trivialities such as real-world invalidation. Here, the lightweight divisional champion is The Australian’s Adam Creighton. Resoundingly wrong and out of his depth, it’s redundant to say Creighton has no experience in these complex areas, akin to saying a crayon has no experience driving a formula one car.
But rarely is such inexpertise combined with such conceit. On social media, as well as in his columns, Creighton has produced an unbroken skein of not only misinformation, but also misunderstanding about Covid-19, some sourced from crackpot international blogs. “Under 60, in good health? Crossing the road is more risky,” he inveighed in April, underestimating the virus’s risk by a factor of 35, according to economist John Quiggin’s calculations. Creighton later repeated the lie that the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention attributed only 6 per cent of Covid-19 deaths to the virus itself – a false factoid originating with the QAnon conspiracy (which, characteristically, he claimed not to have heard of).
Creighton has been frequently schooled by economists and public health specialists but has learnt nothing. Replying to the columnist on Twitter, one of these economists, Chris Edmond, a professor of economics at the University of Melbourne, pointed out that “it takes … some awesome degree of self belief to think you know better than experts in not one but two disciplines”. In a sense, it is the belief itself that is the real service being provided. This style of commentary can’t be called “writing” or “thinking” in the traditional senses – it’s an industrial item, in the same category as seafood extender or filler foam, something to be extruded at volume. Research and consideration would only gum up the production line….
…When these people do occasionally endorse forms of fiscal harm, it’s under the most telling circumstances. In 2017, during France’s most recent presidential election, Creighton’s tune was very different. Mentioning en passant that the outside prospect of a Muslim winning one day was “not especially gratifying”, the columnist endorsed Marine Le Pen. His choice, he admitted, would plunge Europe into chaos – “a financial crisis that would make 2008 seem mild” – but it would be necessary to uncouple la République from international finance: “It would be the price to pay for longer-term prosperity.” That choice of dynamic tradeoff is indicative: lockdowns to save lives are fascism and destroying the economy; but actual fascism is great, and worth destroying the economy for.

Okay, the pond didn't like doing it, but it's done, but how long can the pond go on doing this? There was more useless advice in L'Age here on how to deal with cults.

Checking sources: Who or what is the source and what is their level of access and accuracy and reliability? Has the source provided accurate information before? What is their mission, their history? Did they give supporting information? Where is this information coming from? Is it old information that is being rehashed?

It's the lizard Oz? Is there any need to go further, or say any more?

Seek experts: See what people who have studied and worked in the field are saying. Look at a fact-checking site. QAnon has promoted conspiracy theories about child trafficking – if you are concerned about child trafficking, seek out organisations and experts who have been working in this field. What do they say about the issue?

Seek experts? The lizard Oz has promoted endless conspiracy theories about climate science, but there's no point confronting them with experts. That's the entire point of being a paid-up member of the kool-aid drinking chairman Rupert cult. They think they're the experts and people should be consulting them.

Look, right now, there's a big story breaking in the USA about the Donald and his tax returns. Sure it only confirms what everyone knows, that he's a crook and a con artist and also a really bad businessman, so what does the bromancer, the alleged foreign affairs editor of the lizard Oz, get up to today?

 

 

More comrade Dan bashing, and already the pond had the feeling it was on a car trip with the infallible Pope ...

 

 

But Killer Creighton and the bromancer weren't the only ones, because there was also a classic 'get 'em coming and get 'em going' moment ...

 

 

You see how it works? There's Killer Creighton urging on the killing fields, and there's other reptiles tut-tutting and doing a body count and finding it hard on the stomach ...

And still no mention of the Donald's tax returns, and the high comedy it offers.

 

 

But what's the use of a link if it's paywall affected?

It's with deep regret that the pond must continue to wittingly spread cult propaganda, pleading as its excuse that it's for "entertainment purposes only."

But how about a compromise. Look at the pathetic mob of sheep the reptiles offered up this day ... 

 

 

...none of them mentioning the Donald and his taxes, none of them interested in the latest fundamentalist Catholic and the comedy she presented ...

 

 

That's the NY mag, so as the pond's readership flees in droves, how about a compromise ... with the pond picking the most boring columnist it could find ...

 

To contextualise ... this is one boring old fart telling other boring old farts to go away, though there's no apparent reason for Dame Groan to hang around either. Even worse, Dame Groan commits the worst reptile crime of all ... cancel culture!?

You see, if old ex-PMs want to hang around, boring the socks off everyone, that's their business, just as it's the pond's right to ignore or mock them ...

Should the pond urge the cancelling of Dame Groan? After all, the reptiles cut her back to a penny a word, so it's not so easy to see why she bothers to keep scribbling on ... shouldn't she do the decent thing, and cancel herself?

 

Sure, close friends should  have a word to this has-been, but on and on she blathers about others blathering, and so the virtuous circle of blather is complete ...

 

Florid language is now a thought crime? But anything chairman Rudd said at the tail of that gobbet is surely matched by Dame Groan in her last few pars in this final gobbet ...

 

Indeedy, if the pond was given a chance to call this square dance, "bizarre and error-laden interventions",  and "simply desist", and "such poor judgment" and "unnecessary controversy" would trump "cruel assault" for Dame Groanian floridity ...

But what harm was done, Van Badham, in showing Dame Groan in her full splendour (and not even in the grass)? Sheesh, talk about incendiary material. The only worry was the readership dropping off like flies. Would they even have the strength left to exchange a few music links?

Might the pond at least try a little comedy, because elsewhere in the reptile rag, the arse-licking was something fierce ...

 

 

It goes without saying that the notion of SloMo and digital as one is pure, distilled essence of two ... because once a luddite, always a luddite, and SloMo was there to witness Malware destroying the NBN on instructions from the onion muncher ... and besides ... here's a better illustration to go with the piece ...

 

Oh if only they'd used dear sweet innocent pure dinkum Oz coal, instead of that dreadful fibre ...

 

Even other reptiles could find comedy in all this florid transformational blather, so much floridity ...

 

What a Malware disaster the DTA has been. And now it reports to Roberts? Doom after disaster. Doesn't the Rolex-loving Robert speak in tongues, and think the rapture will arrive long before we need any digital transformation? Isn't being a Pentecostal the only reason he's still in a gig ... because as a rapture mate of SloMo's. he's shown a remarkable ability to survive many ministerial transformations. Even back in 2018, they were doing a litany of his transgressions at Independent Australia ...

But the pond digresses, and we should get back to the last comedy gobbet, offering a transformational rapture ...

 

Oh yes, it's all go, go, go, until the pond decided to make its bonus for the day the lizard Oz editorialist ...

 

Suddenly all that florid talk of transformations, and rampings up, and new ways came back down to earth with a reptile serving of cold comfort, an old family favourite where it's hard to spot the difference between the fish and the reptile...

 

 

Yes, it's time to kill off businesses that are past their use-by date and have postponed the task of getting their staff retrained and redeployed. 

Why, the pond knows for a fact that a few businesses think they need to keep on killing trees, when the entire point of giving away those pulped trees at airports for free has been lost thanks to the virus. Instead they reach out with grasping hands to get hold of government taxes on tech companies who know better how to reach and audience and retain it ...

And if you think there's high comedy and even higher, rank hypocrisy in the next gobbet you might be right ...

 

Yes, and don't forget to slip News Corp a few quid while you're at it, just a tidy little subsidy to tide them over so they can go on with their tree-killing ways ...

And now, just before going to print, the pond checked back, and still nary a mention of the Donald and his taxes, or even his expenditure on hair above the lizard Oz fold, and so the pond had to resort to the immortal Rowe for a comment, with more comments here ...

 

And so, whatever the advice on cults that the pond began with, so far as the reptile cult is concerned, the pond must remind readers who made it this far that it's strictly for entertainment purposes only ...

 

And reading the reptiles? Can it get any sillier or more pointless on any day of the week, in any week of the year, in any year until the rapture comes?

In which the pond shamelessly abandons old favourites so that the Major, Jolly Joe and the dog botherer might roam wild and free ...

 

The pond can only do so much on a Monday, and was truly shocked, surprised and saddened that there was no room left at the inn for valiant stayers such as Moorice and the Oreo ... but something had to give, and in any case the Major offered a variation on Moorice, and provided much comedy relief, and that's essential on a Monday ...

You see, the pond has been vastly delighted and entertained by the way that the reptiles have been forced to give up on coal, and embrace gas, and yet still can't bear to let coal go, and the Major provided a perfect exemplar of this exquisite torture ...

As always, the Major was the only one to truly understand ...

Passing strange, but we have not yet done with the wonders of gas ...

Naturally the reptiles would put together a photo of two fiends from hell to frighten the readership, and now to the wondrous backflip from coal, with bonus approval of the Donald's climate science denialism

...

Ah indeed, it's those damned Parisians that forced the reptiles to embrace gas ... they had no choice ... but wait, now we come to the bit where the reptiles gaze fondly up each others arses to remind themselves that everything they say is true and quotable ... come on down, Major, show the hive mind at work, by drinking the bromancer kool-aid ...

And indeed the reptiles have reached a pragmatic solution, embracing gas, but still yearning for coal, while magically staying deep in the depths of the Donald's climate science denialism and hatred of climate science alarmists, with their wretched fake, or even faux, science ... and at this point, the pond has to ask, would not the Moorice be proud? 

If the pond had to drop him, then surely dropping him for the Major was the right and proper thing to do ...

And now, as we've been speaking of the Donald, why not a new pond favourite? Well that's to say a reptile favourite, and instead of going with the Oreo doing yet another tedious rant about comrade Dan and the like, surely it's better to keep up with the times?

Oh indeed, indeed, there is much cleverness on view ...

And now to admire the way that the Donald hung around with grifters, crooks, mobsters and criminals of the Don King kind ...

I

ndeed, indeed, and some might think that the Donald is a puppet of Putin, and while that's true, he's also a puppet for the Donald brand ...

But wait, the pond had promised to itself that it wouldn't use Jolly Joe as a cheap way to provide wriggle room for a few cartoons, not while we're ringside with Joe as he calls the shots ...

Besides, what need of cartoons, when the reptiles provide there own illustration, to help out as Jolly Joe yet again invokes the image of a fictional swing voter, with the sort of condescending sneer on his lips that might remind some of the old line about a cigar is a cigar (and how Jolly Joe loved his cigars) ...

The voters will love Barrett?

Former members of People of Praise and religious scholars have described an organization that appears to dominate some members’ everyday lives, in which so-called “heads”, or spiritual advisers, oversee major decisions. Married women count their husbands as their “heads” and members are expected to tithe 5% of their income to the organization.

According to a former member, Adrian Reimers, “all one’s decisions and dealings become the concern of one’s ‘head’, and in turn potentially become known to the leadership”.

Heidi Schlumpf, a national correspondent for National Catholic Reporter, called the group’s level of secrecy “concerning”.

Oh indeed, indeed ... the reptiles belong to a cult and so everybody else will love a cult, even one as really weird and wondrous as People of Praise. Complimentary women can't wait to join, and there's more reading at the Graudian here and here.

Sorry Oreo, sorry Moorice, but Jolly Joe has an advisory firm to plug and the pond has a few cartoons to slip in ...

And so to the bonus for the day, and sorry Oreo, sorry Moorice, no one can match the dog botherer for unmitigated loonery ...

As soon as a reptile writes a line about others being detached from reality, it's a sure sign they've slipped their moorings and headed far off to sea ... a bit like the Donald. As soon as he accuses someone of being a liar, or a crook, or heavily into drugs, you know it's projection, and that the Donald is a bald-faced liar, a crook, and has developed that peculiar sniffle from some kind of addiction ...

What's even funnier is when the dog botherer starts off by pretending that he only occasionally watches the ABC, when all the reptiles are addicted to the sport, and quite frankly probably would have nothing to write about if their ABC wasn't around ...

It's all the usual fun, but the pond is hoping, as we're deep in anal retentive territory, that stray readers won't mind the pond changing the subject entirely ...by drawing attention to Richard Cooke's piece in The Saturday Paper here which delivered a tremendous broadside at another pond favourite, and a reptile killer legend ...

…You might think these gossamer threads of bullshit would be swept away by subsequent events, that the bong-rip reasoning of “everyone dies, man” would look embarrassing after almost a million pandemic deaths. Wrong. Only an amateur columnist trips over trivialities such as real-world invalidation. Here, the lightweight divisional champion is The Australian’s Adam Creighton. Resoundingly wrong and out of his depth, it’s redundant to say Creighton has no experience in these complex areas, akin to saying a crayon has no experience driving a formula one car.

But rarely is such inexpertise combined with such conceit. On social media, as well as in his columns, Creighton has produced an unbroken skein of not only misinformation, but also misunderstanding about Covid-19, some sourced from crackpot international blogs. “Under 60, in good health? Crossing the road is more risky,” he inveighed in April, underestimating the virus’s risk by a factor of 35, according to economist John Quiggin’s calculations. Creighton later repeated the lie that the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention attributed only 6 per cent of Covid-19 deaths to the virus itself – a false factoid originating with the QAnon conspiracy (which, characteristically, he claimed not to have heard of).

Creighton has been frequently schooled by economists and public health specialists but has learnt nothing. Replying to the columnist on Twitter, one of these economists, Chris Edmond, a professor of economics at the University of Melbourne, pointed out that “it takes … some awesome degree of self belief to think you know better than experts in not one but two disciplines”. In a sense, it is the belief itself that is the real service being provided. This style of commentary can’t be called “writing” or “thinking” in the traditional senses – it’s an industrial item, in the same category as seafood extender or filler foam, something to be extruded at volume. Research and consideration would only gum up the production line….

…When these people do occasionally endorse forms of fiscal harm, it’s under the most telling circumstances. In 2017, during France’s most recent presidential election, Creighton’s tune was very different. Mentioning en passant that the outside prospect of a Muslim winning one day was “not especially gratifying”, the columnist endorsed Marine Le Pen. His choice, he admitted, would plunge Europe into chaos – “a financial crisis that would make 2008 seem mild” – but it would be necessary to uncouple la République from international finance: “It would be the price to pay for longer-term prosperity.” That choice of dynamic tradeoff is indicative: lockdowns to save lives are fascism and destroying the economy; but actual fascism is great, and worth destroying the economy for.

There's much more - the pond stuck in that elision just so it could get in a few of the juicy bits - and if you don't read The Saturday Paper and yet are a devotee of the reptiles and especially Killer Creighton, why not give it a g?

The pond's only excuse for the detour? Well it's only fair to, as the dog botherer is about to speak of TDS, when in reality, all the reptiles are barking mad, and routinely howl at the moon ...

Actually, it was the Donald himself who said that we'd have to wait and see, and Jolly Joe himself said that the Donald was likely to spend years in litigation, but that's the sublime stupidity of the dog botherer. Apparently he doesn't actually read the lizard Oz, or much else, he's so glued to the ABC ...

And so to a long gobbet to get most of the dog botherer out of the way ...

Stray readers will note that the pond hasn't bothered to get into an argument with the dog botherer, and that deserves an explanation. You see, the dog botherer is attempting to be whimsical and hinting at a domestic life, and offering the suggestion that his better half is full of wisdom, unlike him...

Apparently your dog botherer is just your everyday common or garden reptile moronic fuckwit, incapable of seeing the light and doing something sensible, and who could argue with that?

And now as we've already done "woke", surely the time is right for "virtue-signallers" because when it comes to a moronic set of catch-all terms of abuse, the reptiles run on a very limited supply of gas ...

Oh yes, they could, as surely as the reptiles put a loon like the dog botherer to air ...

And now, having done with the dog botherer and the reptiles for the day, time to celebrate and praise people of praise, with the pond unable to resist a final cartoon, a genuine yearning a for new world ...