Today the pond's brain officially exploded. There would be no time whatsoever for fancy pants smart alec reader links to yarns sparked by Killer Creighton, as if Killer was some sort of doofus, and there would be no time to dwell on Arkansas wanting to ban Bob and Milton ...
Heck, there goes Tony and Jack in the pond's favourite movie - imagine having your mind altered in Tamworth watching Some Like It Hot and that show's punchline - and the pond didn't have time to think about what thugby leaguers and mindless aerial ping pongers would do for entertainment for Arkansas ...
You've got to admit that the thugby leaguer is a good looker, especially up against that prize maroon aerial ping pong dross.
Nor would the pond have time to take in the mango Mussolini's Futurist fascist theatre of cruelty and violence ... turns out The Brutality is the Point ...
As for John Crace brutalising Rish! yet again - will the brutality never end? - the pond would have to leave that for another day, because look at the line up the reptiles had arranged to make sure the pond didn't stray from the fold ...
By the pond's count, and without including the lizard Oz editorialist's splendid filler efforts, noble as they are, that looked like four biggies on one day, up there with that tailor who managed to knock off seven flies with one blow ...
So it was with a sigh of relief that the pond saw that prattling Polonius was just doing his usual, dressing up as a dog, and being a playful hound ...
The pond has never bothered with Polonius as a dog, after disturbing news filtered out of the Sydney Institute that the staff kept a bowl of water in the Polonial office ... together with a pack of his favourite dry food (the pond hears Polonius is a sucker for Royal Canin Maxi for the way it leaves his coat, though the legislators in Arkansas might have to take legislative action).
Besides, Polonius's thesis, that people have turned on the Royals because the red bandana wearer has stepped down, is unarguable, though no doubt some fancy pants smart alec reader might provide links to talk of the appeal of King Chuck as a tampon, the many highly sexualised charms of Prince Andrew, and the intoxicating fight between Harry, Meghan, William and whatever the name of the loyal breeder is ...
It was with vast relief that the pond could turn away from Polonius, keep him assigned to his Sunday meditation duties, and tackle only three of the reptiles this day, and just for the lolz, the pond simply had to begin with the aging prof railing at vulgar youff ... because everyone knos, it's always vulgar youff that ruins everything ... they won't even conjugate their Latin up to.a Molesworth standard ...
Oh yes, this was going to be a Ginsbergian howl of pain, an epic cry in the wilderness ... and never mind that somewhere some loon had forked over hard-won shekels so that they might read the ancient prof on a mobile device ... perhaps on a bus this very minute, or perhaps reading the pond presenting the prof in all his tormented suffering.
Stop it, put that mobile phone down this instant, can't you see the hairs beginning to protrude from the palms of your filthy, deviant hands?
Oh never mind, there is something delightful in reading a mental meltdown, especially when it's as witty as an iGenesis ... especially if you find it on an iPond ...
Harsh experiences! Yes, what they need is a good thrashing on their pert little bottoms, upthrust, yearning to be given a hard time ...
Oh sorry, the pond began to salivate, as it began doing a Percy Grainger with a stout birch ... or should it be leather? The pond always wonders about protocols when it comes to delivering harsh experiences.
And as for those pathetic, foolish fops flinching at the Prof's fine words, here, flay your eyeballs with the last gobbet ... and if anybody worries about the destruction of the English language with the casual deployment of words such as "safetyism", relax, it's just silly Americans wanting to sound stupid in the usual American way, and a handy Glock and a mass shooting will soon bring them around to see some sense ... (by golly there's a
wiki listing the mass shootings in the United States in 2023, and really, just harden the fuck up folks, the prof has important things to tell you about mobile phones, or maybe you can freak out about frocks in Missouri) ...
Would the pond want to socialise with this ancient dodo at a cocktail party?
There's something to be said for discovering that the bird isn't extinct, but the pond suspects it would find some excuse, or else get as pissed as a parrot and start hurling idle abuse at the prof for being a fuckwitted maroon of the first water ... (no desire to hurt feelings, just a jolly good birching) ...when really surely that's what the pond should be doing with the Caterist ...
Chalmerism! Trust the Caterist to come up with a stunning witticism ... though the pond was bereft, because in recent reading, the pond had come across the Caterist in fine form back in 2011, responding to the dreadful Robert Manne, and
protesting how the reptiles at the lizard Oz were certainly not climate science denialists (though they might know how to whisper at flood waters in quarries) ...
Broadly, Manne complains of “dozens” of “denialist” articles by twenty named “denialists” over seven years. In his later contribution to the Weekend Australian, he raises that to “scores.” By my count, the number of articles written by the accused is: Bob Carter (6), Michael Asten (2), Lord Monckton (2), Ian Plimer (4), Jennifer Marohasy (4), Garth Paltridge (1), Dennis Jensen (2), John Christy (reprinted from the Wall Street Journal) (1), David Evans (3), David Bellamy (1), Nigel Calder (reprinted from the Sunday Times) (1). There were joint-bylined pieces: one by Richard Lindzen, John Roskam and Ullrich Fichtner and another by Bob Carter, David Evans, Stewart Franks and Bill Kininmonth. That’s a total of twenty-nine, which means Manne was right about “dozens,” though not about “scores.” Roughly speaking, it represents one “denialist” argument for every 350 published opinion pieces.
No mention of the Caterist, himself an astute denialist, nor Dame Slap in full flight, warning of the UN using climate science to introduce world government by Xmas?
Sorry, back then the Caterist billed himself as the editor of the Weekend Australian, though the chairman soon put a stop to that and put him out to pasture, so he could blossom into a quarry flood water whisperer of the first water ...
Meanwhile, back to witty talk of Chalmerism ...
It goes without saying, so the pond will say it, that neither the Caterist nor Dame Groan has the slightest interest in that recent announcement, which seems to have reduced Wilcox to simpering empathy and in need of a jolly good caning from the prof ...
Sorry, Wilcox, you can give coloured pencils to the Caterist, and all you'll get is a blank page ... or perhaps a garishly coloured request for another federal government grant ...
Ah years, a fairer and more prosperous nation for all, at least if you can find a way to get some of that government cash in your 'research' centre's paw. As for the rest ...
The first part of the research was published in May 2020 as Inequality inAustralia 2020: Overview.
That report revealed large and persistent gaps in incomes and wealth between the lowest and highest rungs of the distribution:
- The highest 20% of households, with average after-tax incomes of $4,166 per week (pw) have almost 6 times the income of the lowest 20%, with $753pw;
- The highest 20% (with average wealth of $3.3 million) have 90 times the wealth of the lowest 20%, with just $36,000 on average.
In this second report, Inequality in Australia 2020: Who is affected and why, we dig deeper into understanding who stands where on the income and wealth ladders and the main causes of income and wealth inequality.
Get your pdf
here, because you're not going to get much sense from a Caterist accustomed to sucking on the taxpayer's teat ...
And so at last to a jolly good groaning ... though before beginning the pond should note that The New Yorker's carousel of cartoons now seems to be outside the paywall, and so the pond thought it might fling in a couple of mood setters ...
Oh that's ancient and doesn't suit a good groaning, perhaps this is closer to the mark ...
That's better, because this day, the pond was startled to discover that Dame Groan thoroughly disapproved of western civilisation and all that ancient Greco-Roman malarkey and philosophical crap, of the kind the hole in the bucket man loved to spout like a Sydney Uni gargoyle on a rainy day.
Stay with it, and the pond will get to it ...
The pond regrets to admit that it began to miss the Caterist and his witty talk of Chalmerism ... but the pair share something in common, resentment that anyone should turn up in
The Monthly when they should be scribbling for the chairman behind the paywall so that the Chairman might swell his struggling coffers ... though to be fair, Jimbo is a loyal contributor, making sure that taxpayers have to pay to access his thoughts ...
Sorry, that's just a tease ... the pond must now turn to the shocking discovery that Dame Groan will piss on ancient Greek philosophers from a great height ...
All that reptile talk of the infinite wisdom of the traditions of western civilisation come to naught, because wisdom only began in 1776 ...
The pond was still reeling from the sound birching that Dame Groan had dished out to Heraclitus (warning, if you get quoted by Jimbo, you're sure to end up in the Groaner shame file), and realised with a start that there were still two gobbets of Groaning to go, presenting the usual sophisticated and erudite views of a lover of gas ...
What a relief, a truly terrified Dame Groan ... what is this arcane nonsense about socially beneficial?
Somehow whenever there's a groaning, and Dame Groan is terrified, the pond's thoughts always turn to Santos, gas and climate science, but the pond is sure that her deep thinking will please the pond cultists devoted to her every word ... because enough already of this do gooder nonsense, the slackers all need a good birching ...
What's that? Achieving reliable and affordable energy?
Phew, for a moment there, the pond thought that Dame Groan might have mentioned climate science in relation to energy, but never fear, there's no way this aged battleship is ever going to change tack ...
And with that, an almost relevant immortal Rowe, and the mind-blown pond is done for the day ...