In which the pond indulges in a Sunday meditation with the bromancer and Dame Slap … and what a long and tedious meditation it is ...

Of course the pond would like to be elsewhere for a Sunday meditation … like Sam Knight's summary of The Empty Promise of Boris Johnson in The New Yorker.

It's short, it's currently outside the paywall, and while Boris has inexorably moved on since it was written, the welter of lies and delusions is enchanting, and promises that Britain will continue matching the United States for weird entertainment …

But let us not be modest. As foreshadowed by that splash, for weird entertainment, the lizards of Oz are up there with the best, and amongst the best and brightest of the best, the bromancer is truly unique.

Now the pond is totally over the Folau matter, since the greedy Xian seems mainly determined to get his paws on a $10 million payout - so much for Matthew 6:24:

No rugby union tosser can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

But let us not deplore the yearning for moola and for cash in the paw, and let us not judge, for fear of being judged.

Let us not wonder at the bromancer defending Folau, because as a servant to the whore of Babylon residing in Rome, the ecumenicals will see him cast into hell for all eternity, along with all the other sinners …instead, let us just meditate on the entertainment …and it being the bromancer, it's a meditation that almost approaches the length of Andy Warhol's study of the Empire State Building …

He's lost his ability to earn a living for the rest of his life?

How many people play top grade rugby union above the age of 35? Can't he manage to fleece his flock and make a decent living? How stupid is the bromancer to trot out that sort of insane hysteria?

As for theology, it's about time the bromancer tore off the shrink wrapper and got real …

 

Yes, they knew how to make a decent living fleecing punters, while warning them of being led astray by those devotees of the modern Babylon ...

So it's just the same old horseshit dressed up in a new guise … because if you're gay and have sex, by definition, you're indulging in immoral behaviour  and it's off to hell with you … unless, by some theological mishap, hell doesn't actually exist, or pose quite the threat it once did …

Benedict XVI: There is no doubt that on this point we are faced with a profound evolution of dogma. While the fathers and theologians of the Middle Ages could still be of the opinion that, essentially, the whole human race had become Catholic and that paganism existed now only on the margins, the discovery of the New World at the beginning of the modern era radically changed perspectives. In the second half of the last century it has been fully affirmed the understanding that God cannot let go to perdition all the unbaptized and that even a purely natural happiness for them does not represent a real answer to the question of human existence. If it is true that the great missionaries of the 16th century were still convinced that those who are not baptized are forever lost – and this explains their missionary commitment – in the Catholic Church after the Second Vatican Council that conviction was finally abandoned. From this came a deep double crisis. On the one hand this seems to remove any motivation for a future missionary commitment. Why should one try to convince the people to accept the Christian faith when they can be saved even without it? But also for Christians an issue emerged: the obligatory nature of the faith and its way of life began to seem uncertain and problematic. If there are those who can save themselves in other ways, it is not clear, in the final analysis, why the Christian himself is bound by the requirements of the Christian faith and its morals. If faith and salvation are no longer interdependent, faith itself becomes unmotivated. (here).

Hmm, tricky stuff.

By the 20th century, liberal Christians, Protestant and Catholic, were finding it difficult to square away belief in a God of love with the doctrine of eternal torments in the fires of hell. For them, “hell” has been rethought as a state (but no longer a place) of life after death in which we freely choose to stay alienated from God and from which we can eventually be saved if we so wish. (here).

What, no fire and brimstone? No Catholics simmering for their sinful theological follies?

Oh dear, it's surely about time for a cartoon before the pond faints from the tedium of it all.

Since when did the lizard Oz turn into Sunday school, or even worse, the half hour session the fat Irish priest childminding us at the state school dished out, before racing off to a round of golf, followed by a hearty round of Tamworth beers? (Got to keep that conditioning in peak shape).

Okay, that'll do but the pond had the sickening feeling it was only half way through the theological weirdness...

In short, no one has the foggiest clue what's on the other side, and somehow for some reason, every message from the imaginary friend ends up in theological confusion … with only a couple of blessings to hand.

Blame it all on women, and when they're not around, blame it on the gays ...

Brian Houston? What a stench is there … what with child abuse, and talk of the cult … but as the bromancer is a participant in several cults, the cult of Catholicism and the cult of the Murdochian reptile, it's to be expected that he'd be happy in the company of other cultists ...

Or the mainstreaming of delusion …

In a way, the pond accepts that evil exists, but in a secular way, in the sense that people have a remarkable capacity to inflict damage and hate on other people for being different or other …

Pretending that it's all clap happy fun times and there's no fear and loathing roaming the churches is a form of secular evil … almost as absurd as suggesting that the likes of Hillsong's music represents some kind of creative achievement ...

Perhaps it would be better not to talk of evil, but to talk of lies. An unapologetic, practical, welcoming approach which they extend to everyone?

Following backlash after the firing of Josh Canfield, a gay man who served as Hillsong’s NYC choir director, over his sexuality, Houston wrote, “Hillsong Church welcomes ALL people but does not affirm all lifestyles. Put clearly, we do not affirm a gay lifestyle and because of this we do not knowingly have actively gay people in positions of leadership, either paid or unpaid.” (Daily Beast)

If that's the bromancer's idea of a friendly welcoming approach, he can just fuck off to hell, or wherever it is that Pentecostal cultists send Catholic cultists in the grip of grievous theological error … but don't blame it on the pond, that's the fault of the judgmental Pentecostals …

And now, because the pond only dips its toes in the reptile waters every so often, an additional treat for the battle-hardened …

Dame Slap was also out and about yesterday in the lizard Oz - you know, that famous MAGA-cap-wearing, worshipper of the pussy-groper - and she was even more peculiar than usual …

Indeed, indeed, but the pond has heard it all before, this suffering of the white male, so rather than do a commentary, why not a few cartoons celebrating the latest deeds of the pussy-groper in chief?

And so to the in-house cat fight ...

Indeed, indeed, rational people will instead think of climate science as a global conspiracy designed to establish world government by Christmas, or perhaps think in a post-ironic way that Donald Trump offers a vision for the United States and the world ...

Well at least running a cartoon helped the pond avoid any sense it was in any way standing up for Nikki Gemmell, who is as silly as Dame Slap when the wind is blowing north by north west, or any other well known point on the compass ...

Did Dame Slap just do a coloured lesbian trans crippled whale joke?  How did ugly anorexic geek whore get left out in the telling?

Hmm, perhaps a little more work is needed, but fair dibs, she really is an awesome bigot, right out of the 1950s … shouting away at the different and the other, while being madly supportive of a pussy-groper …

Oh well, if she's going to go there, at least the pond can revisit one of its favourite movies …

And so to the final gobbet, and what a relief the pond won't have to think about any of this, or the reptiles, for another week ...

The great liberal mission?

What, dumping shit on the different and the other is now the great liberal mission?

No wonder she fell in love with the Donald … he knows how to enact the great liberal mission …

In which Polonius's prattle has a soothing, numbing effect ...

The pond felt preternaturally calm in the presence of prattling Polonius, whose soothing, dulcet sounds can send the pond off to sleep in a nanosecond … but earlier in the week, the pond had been alarmed to discover that the Bolter was finally revealing himself to be a Kommissar of the Soviets in the very old style …

Yes, because the pond no longer goes anywhere near Bolter la la land, for fear of 250,000 years of mental contamination, the pond began its week discovering that the Bolter and the reptiles were infatuated with nuclear energy, and that the Bolter had it in for the mini-series Chernobyl, dubbing it eco-porn … all courtesy of a Media Watch story …

The pond had been mixing episodes of Fleabag with Chernobyl, and realised that the most interesting angle was the sublime lack of empathy emitted by the Bolter, down there with the empathy quotient of your average apparatchik …

Now the pond realises that "empathy" is considered a naughty word by many, when callousness, indifference and cruelty is much to be preferred in a realist world, but even then, it takes considerable skill to reduce the Chernobyl disaster to a body count, as if that were the only meaningful measure of the cost. That's a very unique* form of being empathy-free … (*ABC 24 licensed)

But it was ever thus - from the empathy exhibited by the Inquisition to the empathy of an ISIS fundamentalist, the Bolter's capacity for empathy is roughly zero, but his capacity for ideological cruelty verges on the infinite … (or as ABC 24 might put it, the very infinite) …

Well two things: the pond didn't trouble Foxtel for its viewing pleasure, but instead honoured the noble work of VPNs - cable-cutting needn't deprive viewers of the pleasure of enforced graphite shovelling - and how wise of the Bolter not to mention the cost of maintaining the security of storage for 250k years, because that's what governments are for … but who will pay for the contamination costs of a Bolter?

Luckily, the half-life of News Corp might be relatively short, but even so, the damage will linger on the earth for generations to come …

Of course the answer to all those future problems is the Rapture, helped along by speaking in tongues to imaginary friends, and so the reptiles have this week been obsessed with the Folau matter, and the rights of fundamentalist bigots to dress up their bigotry as a form of religion… and David Marr became agitated about that in the Graudian in With Israel Folau the church demands the kind of free speech that keeps gays in the firing line …

Marr seemed agitated about what might happen if a chemistry teacher stood up in a Catholic school and explained that 'God' was a concept as meaningful and as useful as the tooth fairy (donations might fall from the sky to support your delusions), but the pond had a deeper worry.

What would happen to a reptile who tweeted that they were working for a criminal organisation run by a wizened lizard overlord, legally entitled to do dreadful things to Jerry Hall? Would the Murdochian code of conduct kick in? What could a reptile scribbler do then? Abandon the sinking Strewth ship and head off to work for Albo?

That's the trouble with freedom of speech. Perhaps it's best if it's only allowed to empathy-free fundamentalists and bigots ...

No wonder the pond was relieved to reach the safe harbour of a complacent, smug Polonius, blathering on in the usual way … and providing the usual history lesson ...

It's for astonishing insights like "their political careers were threatened by political defeat" that keeps the pond enraptured by Polonius … but has it been a season of calm?

The reptiles have been making out like bandits denouncing the perfidious Malware as they dig over the entrails like animal hunters at Chernobyl …

 

If this sort of forensic re-opening of only recently healed scars is a season of calm, why then it seems being a Liberal politician is akin to a worker at Chernobyl the days after the explosion … and just remember you can get an episode closer out of a pregnant woman …

But enough of such distractions, because Polonius had much more by way of reassurance to offer, pouring oil on troubled waters like the original Polonius reassuring Hamlet all would be well behind the arras …

Indeed, indeed, but before the pond moves on to Polonius's ritual denunciation of the Nine papers and the ABC, perhaps it's worth noting that the reptiles have been celebrating the savvy Savva's work. Look, top of the page, ma …

Spoiler alert … here's how that yarn ended ...

The mutton Dutton is not the evangelical here?

Why the reptiles could spend the next week scribbling furiously at this implied defaming of the evangelical mindset, and implied sneering at the simplistic stupidities of the likes of the Bolter and Folau …

Never mind, the pond was reminded that the despicable cardigan wearers were at it again, defaming the notoriously 'not evangelical' liberal progressive, once again being astonishingly liberal this week …

… so what better way to introduce Polonius's final, tediously long gobbet, in which he lists assorted thought crimes that had offended him, and explains that there would be a new thousand year reign of peace, joy and harmony, if not in the world, then certainly in SloMo's government …

Yes, there's been no signs of bitterness or tension through the week. Take it from Polonius and his prattle. All is quiet on the western front, and the peace will endure forever, and everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds ...

But could the pond raise a technical point, with Polonius suggesting that the incumbent PM "cannot be challenged during their term"? 

Mr Morrison last night said that for the new rule to be changed, “it would require a two-thirds ­majority of the parliamentary party” but noted that “such a majority is rarely if ever achieved”. (An actual reptile story, but why bother linking to a paywall? Here, have a Graudian story instead.)

Ah, so there is still some room for a little mischief. So he could be challenged if the numbers were there …

But the pond takes Polonius's point. Think of the wonders that six years of an unchallenged Comrade Bill achieved for the Labor party, and now imagine the joys of SloMo on the throne for ever and ever, a new Ming the Merciless, speaking in tongues each Sunday to his imaginary friend about his good fortune.

How good is that? And there he was, already establishing his presence on the world stage, and helping with the new world order, as celebrated by Rowe, with more celebratory Rowe here …

Oh dear, of course that means the pond must also run the original Gillray …

And then why not round out the meal with another serving of Rowe?

Oh yes, everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds. Trust Polonius and his prattle …

In which the pond does it's best to be politically incorrect ...

Being on a reptile diet has done wonders for the pond, which is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and with a  renewed taste for moronic reptile cliches. Ah snowflakes, it must be winter.

If it isn't Polonius blathering about the ABC being a conservative-free zone, the next best thing is the Alice-like use of of the concept of "political correctness" …

It's up there with the Orwellian use of Orwellian, which is to say trotting out poor old socialist George in the service of some right wing nutcase deeming someone or something - often socialist - as Orwellian.

In the very old days, it was your conservatives, frequently with a fundamentalist Christian quirk, that valued correctness in all its forms.

While the pond fervently believes that there wasn't a single homosexual in Tamworth when the pond lived there, we knew what was the correct way to deal with them if one ever dared to turn up. Tar and feather them, stone them to death and send them off to an eternity in hell. Now that was politically and religiously correct thinking. Did anyone get agitated about political correctness then? Well the gays might have, but they were kept out of sight, in a very correct and proper way ...

And while the pond never heard, not once, of the bizarre concept of a single mother, if such a bare-faced nympho trollop ever came out of the closet, there was a correct way to deal with her. Stone her to death, or offer her the chance to achieve respectability by becoming a complimentary woman and marrying a man.

It goes without saying that it was also considered very correct to endure a good beating, because correction improves any wayward woman …

This was the right-thinking domain of the Catholic church, and its acolytes, and yet still they lurk in the lizard Oz, bemoaning the way some victimised minorities might raise a humble paw objecting to their God-ordained lot, as if She gives a stuff … or if the Angelic Shanners gives a stuff either …

Fast leaving the lexicon? What alternative planet does the Angelic Shanners live on?

This very day in the lizard Oz, the oscillating fan referred to "politically correct Labor" and the bromancer was in a fine flurry of foaming at the mouth a few days ago ...

And so on, as if some belief in imaginary friends was the only way forward for the politically incorrect, as if accepting the ten commandments was a bold and brave step towards political incorrectness, as if Xian belief in the eating of human flesh and blood on a Sunday wasn't religiously correct, but rather was a celebration of politically incorrect cannibalism …

Still, it's pleasing to know that the bromancer believes in the politically correct notions of burning bushes, turning water into wine, and all the other psychologically damaged nonsense spouted by believers, when they might just as well adopt the pseudo-religious Santa Claus, Easter bunny and tooth fairy as their imaginary friend ...

Talk about an upside down world …

Dear sweet long absent lord, is there anything to be said about that, except, in a perhaps somewhat politically incorrect way - and therefore something to be lauded by the Angelic Shanners - that she's deeply fucked in the head?

Oh the pond realises it's being politically incorrect to an alarming degree to say such a thing out loud, but that's what the Angelic one seems to want.

Anybody who can purport to sympathise with Batty, then criticise her as deeply fucked, and on a foolish, failed mission, while at the same time explaining how only the Angelic one knows everything about it - yet seems to have done sweet fuck all, except scribble furiously for the lizard Oz - surely cries out for the Angelic one to be called deeply fucked …

Hmm, the pond is getting to like this political incorrectness. What else has the Angelic one - always the bluntest knife in the drawer - got lined up?

The pond must leave aside some of these issues. The pond knows a cross-section of TG folk who transitioned long before it because fashionable to call their situation a mere quest for fashion …(the pond's dearest friend would probably tell Bazza, Germaine, the Angelic one and sundry others just to get fucked, or better still, to get fucked, and fucked off, as some TG folk are inclined to political incorrectness, especially when deeply personal matters are trotted out to make cheap insulting points).

But that poignant, plaintive "why?" pleads for an answer … if only because the fundamentalist bigot Folau offers predictable reptile fun, if only because this day the reptiles themselves led with a comical story …

A cool $5.6 mill and a lifestyle as big as the Ritz, and yet still the mug punters flocked to give?

Greedy? What about unXian?

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal … (Matthew 6:19-20)

Or …

And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? There is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments. He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 
The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what's more I've put together a nifty property portfolio worth $5.6 million, hauled down squillions sniffing bums at rugger, yet pleaded poverty and conned suckers out of $250k, and who knows might still con the full $3mill, so what lack I yet? 
Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions. 

Yes, fuck it, it's all very well being politically and religiously correct, but fuck it, there's the property portfolio, and besides the punters and the all-day suckers are so generous …

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved? What about the property portfolio? What about ripping off suckers so we can really score a big settlement from the rugger buggers?
But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore? And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And every one that hath forsaken houses, yea, verily, even a cool property portfolio, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, or the reptiles of the lizard Oz, or even Angelica Shanners, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first. (Matthew 19)

Yes, in a politically incorrect world, many that think they're angelically first will actually be amongst the last … and so to the final irony-laden gobbet …

Indeed, indeed, how the pond yearns to be able to stone to death TG fashonistas, homosexuals, feminists and such like. 

Why, it's the politically and religiously correct thing to do, at least if you're as fucked in the head as the Angelic one, who somehow imagines it's about political correctness, when silly Catholics congregate each weekend to talk about religious and political correctness, and it's left to the pond to be as politically incorrect as it can manage by calling them fucking idiots and dropkick losers with a weird addiction to imaginary friends (sorry, the pond knows everyone will appreciate that was just a jolly jape amongst politically incorrect chums. We must strive together to be politically incorrect, or the Angelica Shanners will be agitated at the political correctness throughout the land).

And so to a few cartoons dedicated in assorted ways to the reptiles' efforts this week …

In which Polonius drones on, and the pond drones back in a mostly unique way ...

The pond has had a mixed week.

It realised, with a shock, that it had lost forever any talk of ‘unique’ being really, truly unique and not in need of a modifier, with blather about ‘most unique’ littering News 24, even in bulletins written by paid journalists supposedly with a grasp of ye olde, antique, antiquated notions of the English language, and read by paid newsreaders, whose job, the pond now understands, isn’t to check copy, or provide information in a literate way, but instead to mangle words and their mainly unique meanings …

On the upside, the pond learned of CRAP, the Cultural Revolution Against Phones, which the pond’s partner had attempted to hide. The pond finally heard about Jack White’s valiant refusal to own a cell phone, his boast that he doesn’t have that addiction, and the response of fans when told they can’t use their phones in his concerts …

The partner tried for some wriggle room by suggesting Jack was barking mad, and it's true that an early life in Detroit seems to have left Jack a little disturbed, but let's not have any ad hominem attacks when the cause is just, and the screen-grazing sheep can be herded towards the truth ...

So CRAP is bubbling along nicely, as is the cable cutting at Foxtel, and soon there will be a truly alternative unique new world where ancient values will return …though perhaps not at their ABC.

The pond blames it on its early life in Tamworth … listening to the nuns earnestly assuring the pond that anyone who told a fib was on their way to hell … without the first clue that at some point much further down the track, there would come the reptiles and the Donald …

Compare these headlines, which the pond noted through the week …

Yes, Lloydie was up to his usual sneering tricks, with blather about the "glitterati", while the Graudian and many others were agitated about actual observations in the field …

Then there was news at the ABC about the fate of the deep North, with Temperature rises will make Brisbane a 'difficult place to live within 30 years, report finds …

The pond thought living in the deep North right now was difficult, but hey, at last there seems to be an upside to climate science, called the suffering of the toads …get a little of that Adani into you, toads, and feel the warmth ...

Perhaps the silliest headline came from Crikey and good old Guy…

But Guy, it is front page news on the lizard Oz every day, with the glittering reptiles howling "dinkum clean Oz coal, oi oi oi …"

Look …

Angus is on the right track, and there's something the pond doesn't miss at all … ancient grey-haired old loons howling at the moon about "virtue-signallers," sadly the most commonly unique term of abuse in the reptiles' limited vocabulary ...

Speaking of ancient coal-loving fossils and antique ways, the pond simply can’t discard prattling Polonius like a useless cell phone, and this weekend he was in triumphalist mode ...

At last … it's not too late to put Polonius in charge of TV breakfast, or perhaps The Insiders, or at the least Media Watch,  while the prospect of Gerard and Anne replacing Waleed Aly and Scott Stephens on The Minefield is an idea so hot the pond has copyrighted it, patented it, or done whatever you need to do to maintain rights to a concept for an an idea for an outline for a treatment for a first draft, before pitching it to RN …

And so to Polonius in full prattling flight …

Was it only a few weeks ago that the pond noted that Polonius had a special key on the keyboard which at least once a week he ritually pressed so that "conservative-free zone" would have as much currency as "virtue-signalling"?

No wonder he opened with reciting the alphabet, perhaps because the 2 x 2 multiplication tables were a bit of a stretch.

Well the good news is that Polonius exudes every sort of bias, deliberate, unconscious, senile, and repetitive, and he's in top form … and the reptiles must have realised it, because they sauced up his sauciness with a wonderful tidy man portrait of Ita, who will save the Polonial day, and perhaps even bring Polonius into the tent as living proof of a national conservative treasure destined to ensure RN ratings shift from * to ** ...

Oh dear …what was Polonius thinking?!

To do down Moorice, to pretend that Moorice only saw the Polonial light late in his term as chairman. Would it have been hard to have done a nanosecond's googling?

One such opportunity was the ABC, where Newman first served as a director from 2000 to 2004. Then as now, one of his central preoccupations was the broadcaster's supposed left-wing bias. 
"It's very clear," he tells me. "I lived there, right? I was in the carpark. I spoke to the staff. I know the bias is there." Despite being answerable to federal senate, the Australian Communications and Media Authority, and to its own Electoral Coverage Review Committee, Newman wanted the ABC to be additionally monitored for "bias and balance" in the lead up to the 2004 federal election. (Fairfax nee Nine here).

Late in his term as chairman? Quick, some soap for Polonus so he can wash out his mouth, or at least his keyboard ...

The pond realises it's very competitive amongst the reptiles to spot the bias at the ABC, and that Polonius was probably doing it in the days of Ming the Merciless, but fair dibs for Moorice. Why he even managed to be outraged at the process which saw Polonius's heroine Ita get the gig …

"If you don't want to have a process, fine. Leave it up the PM or the minister or the tea lady or whoever. Everyone knows that's the basis of the selection. But I don't really see the point of having a process that is not observed. It makes a mockery of it." (here)

Of course Polonius likes the world run by fiat, dictum, diktat, and lordy lordy, does he have plenty to hand …though these days, he has to preface his musings with "as far as I can recall", and "if my memory serves me correctly", and "error prone though I might be, I believe there was a possibility that …" 

… as he makes an urgent plea that he keep on playing Donkey … "oh, pick me, pick me, pick me …"

They never give up, do they, harping away, droning on in that tedious, monotonous Polonial voice, and without apparently being aware of the contradiction of inviting a conservative voice to appear on the ABC (speaking in tongues no less), only for the conservative voice not bothering to appear …now that's how you get them coming and going.

A conversation:

I won't appear because you're biased, and of no use or interest to me.

But if you do appear, you'll help balance the conversation. Don't you want a balanced conversation?

What's in it for me to help you disguise your naked bias? 

And so on and so forth ...

Well they wouldn't have that trouble with Polonius. He'd turn up to give a talk about the ABC's bias in the janitor's closet, pointing out the shocking example of the left-handed brooms that they allow the janitors to use these days … as they had been doing back in the days of Talbot Duckmanton …

Not that the pond cares much about any of it. These days it's in the truly unique situation of being unable to listen to a broadcaster mangling the English language … when commercial television is perfectly poised to do that in a routinely unique way …

And now, as outside the myopic world of Polonius and the conservative voice, and the riches it produces, such as the Donald, things are on the move, so why not celebrate conservatism in action with a relevant Rowe, with more Rowe still to be found here …