In which the Caterist scores pole position by going full Trump, and do two Dames produce a right royal flush?

 

 

 

Occasionally the pond ventures out into the real world and was startled to see this story, which is easy enough to find using deviant devices ... and wondered what it meant for pure, dinkum, clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi, so beloved by the reptiles and the Caterists ...

Likely the pond will never know, but at least reading the reptiles, it's entrancing to see the Caterist go full Donald, hugely Trumpian ...

 

 

 

Such breathtaking desperation in a headline the pond has rarely seen, unless in one devoted to a boast by the Donald by himself, and why he should have won the Nobel Peace Prize, but was robbed by criminal Democrats who should be locked up ... but it was only the beginning of the Caterist worship ...

 

 

A principled, strategic stand for freedom? Indeed, indeed, and no doubt the Caterist will enumerate the many ways that the Donald has stood up for Hong Kong. 

Come to think of it, there have also been some jangled nerves in South Korea, Taiwan and Japan in recent years. Never mind, when studying the movement of flood waters in quarries or doing a blinkered, hagiographic rewrite of history, there's no point putting up all the Donald's tweets about Xi as a counter-balance, all that's needed is a blind infatuation with the Caterist, doing an expert job of Donald arse-licking (is this the way for the Menzies Research Centre to get more cash in the paw from the government?)

The pond was disappointed in the opening line of the next gobbet, however, because surely it should have read "Trump has achieved more in foreign policy in less than four years than any president since Abraham Lincoln, or possibly George Washington." Why stop at Ronnie Raygun? If you're going to go full arse lick, why not go all-in?

 

The Palestinian people have a successful business model? Who knew? But one thing's for sure, the Caterist will make sure that they stay comprehensively fucked ...

 

 

The pond likes to imagine the Caterist at work back in the 1930s. What excellent stories he would have written about the importance of bringing together the Saar Basin, Austria, the Sudetenland, Moravia-Silesia, Bohemia and such like ...

Luckily this day we also have Dame Groan, given a lavish illustration, as she plays the Grim Reaper in a Monty Python sketch ...

 

 

 

There were getting to be too many of us? 

Well it's an exceptionally sensitive response to deaths at a time of a world pandemic, but the pond is all for a culling, killing off the weak members of the herd. It goes with the importance of bringing the Sudeteland back into the fold (has the pond ever mentioned the German blut in one side of the family?)

But relax, for those worried that Dame Groan was pleased the virus had knocked so many parrots off their perches, and turned them into Norwegian blues, it's a lot simpler. She simply can't abide furriners, with all their dreadful habits, filling up the land and making a fuss and jibber-jabbering in some foreign lingo ...

 

 

It's possible to conclude that the federal government is in thrall to property developers? Where does Dame Groan get her cynicism from? Why that land out at Badgerys Creek will be worth its weight in gold some day, and meantime, here have a donation ... and now let's get back to the important business of blaming pesky, difficult furriners, with their grasping ways, and their jibber-jabber in some strange lingo ...

 

She really is the complete curmudgeon, but the pond has to stay that her stance on the media is spot-on. The desire to limit foreign ownership is admirable, but no doubt Chairman Rupert will adjust when stripped of all his newspapers ...

Oh sorry, the pond sometimes drifts off in Dame Groan's presence ...

 

 

 

Yes, we can all return to the 1950s and picket fences, and instead of importing those difficult, pesky furriners to build the Snowy, what with their funny jibber jabber and such like, why, we can do it all ourselves ... that'll learn 'em, and no doubt Dame Groan will be the first to put her shoulder to the wheel, and so them that we know how to do it ... and if you believe that, has the pond got a Snowy 2.0 reboot to sell you or what ... and as for fruit picking, it seems Dame Groan pleaded age, and avoided going off on the grey nomad tour of fruit pickers this year ...

And so to Dame Slap, and what a  pleasure to see the two Dames together in the one outing. It rarely happens, though it's odd that Dame Groan was determined to see sunnyside up, while Dame Slap was doing one of her classic fiery, Old Testament, damnation and hellfire preacher and prophet routines ...

 

Of course comrade Dan was going to be first in the firing line, so the pond was content to let Slap get slapping away ...

 

 

Meanwhile, of course, in other countries, death remains easy to come by, a little culling of the herd bringing a contented Groanian smile to the licking lips, a little hot spot here and there ...

It's easy to forget where we might have been, and the pond has little doubt that if it had been in the United States, the chances are that this blog might have come to an abrupt end ... not that Dame Slap would give a flying fuck about how many have shuffled off the coil, and are still doing so in sizeable numbers, because she's full IPA, and the IPA doesn't care about the body count, provided the rich keep getting richer ...

 

Yes, yes, whatever you do, don't look at a global pandemic, running through oldies like a pack of Epsom Salts, because who cares about old farts, so long as the Dames, Chairman Rupert and the reptiles are safe, we can have a much more considered response ... though the pond couldn't help but get sidetracked by the latest Media Watch and the Bolter and the even crazier Dean of crazies ...

 

 

Being the ABC, they had to run a Bolter response, and being the Bolter, he ignored everything he'd said, and backtracked just a little and didn't worry too much about the Donald not getting treated with his favourite medications - not even bleach injected! - but the pond had only one thought ...

And now a final gobbet of crazy for the day ...

If the reptiles and especially Dame Slap had their way, we would be well into the UK and the US experience, an ongoing nightmare ...  forgetting that public health and the economy are inextricably linked with public confidence that you're not about to die by inhaling the fumes of a passing stranger, or perhaps if really lucky the Donald ...

Never mind, it's a relief that Dame Slap can only rant in the lizard Oz, just as crazies like the Bolter and Dean rant after dark on a channel few pay money for, and even fewer watch ... 

Instead, at the end of another wearying morning with the reptiles, the pond can pause with the immortal Rowe and quaff a particularly tasty red, or do a little 30 Rock contact tracing with the infallible Pope, which is all the pond needs to say about poor Gladys, with more Rowe to be found here ... and Pope of course behind a paywall, but still finding his way to freedom ...