Prattling Polonius, a "Ned" Everest and Homeric Henry? This is the way forward for the lizard Oz?

 

The pond came to a stark understanding about the commercial potential of the current crop of lizard Oz contributors.

Is there anyone under seventy who has the remotest interest in the content?

Polonius led the way with prattle about "Whitlam's shadow".

Ye ancient cats and dogs, as if the lizard Oz itself hadn't already displayed a signal lack of interest in the end of the first world war.

Yet here were the hive mind troops being lectured on the notion that it was all the fault of Gough ... as if the dismissal loomed large in everyone's minds, when in reality only tattered tribal warriors and aged dinosaurs and perhaps Kennedy Miller cultists who remembered the miniseries had the foggiest memory of those events ...

In other words, the main benefit of the end of WWI? Providing a feeble excuse for Polonius to conjure up Gough and blather about long lost times. 

The pond understands the tendency - given half a chance the pond will always lecture younglings on the way things were, as a way to improve their understanding of the world.

But are there any younglings who would willingly pay for this sort of guff?

Just brilliant.

The strategy behind Gallipoli was, albeit flawed, "well intentioned".

“Forward, the Light Brigade!”

Was there a man dismayed?

Not though the soldier knew

   Someone had blundered.

   Theirs not to make reply,

   Theirs not to reason why,

   Theirs but to do and die.

   Into the valley of Death

   Rode the six hundred

Knowing that the strategy

Was well-intentioned ...

Only an armchair warrior of the first water could come out with that sort of silliness.

Polonius did his best to make it all seem relevant, and "now", and dragged in personal touches, as aged warriors are wont to do, a bit like an Ancient Mariner stoppeth one of three with glittering eye and long grey beard. But wherefore stopp'st thou me?

Tedious beyond measure, and not even a mention of Oh! What a Lovely War, which might at least have produced a song or two ...

Early in the weekend, there was also the question of "Ned", who was briefly given top spot at the head of the digital "news" edition, as if that was some kind of selling point and attention should be paid ...

The reptiles felt so strongly about a "Ned" Everest climb that there came a pop up offering access the rag for less than a dollar a day ...

When you got to the actual "Ned" offering, a dollar a day seemed a very steep price for boredom, when simply staring at tea leaves or chicken entrails might offer the same experience, and the same level of insight ...

It was just another part of the reptile rag's endless jihad on the current government, down there with the coverage of dick jokes by a couple of dicks, which conveniently skated past the need to provide any coverage of actual climate change data and actual climate science ...

That was still the top of the "news" angle early Sunday morning ...

Meanwhile, that ancient dick blathered on in his own dickish way ...

As usual, any attempt to respond to climate change went under the "Ned" hammer...

In any "Ned" offering, you're never offered undiluted "Ned". He always reverts to padding by dragging in others to reinforce his own taste for nattering negativity ...

Oh and there had to be a battering of "renewables", as if "clean energy" was some kind of dirty concept that had to be spat out on to the keyboard ...

Who would pay for this relentless sort of doomsaying, this ranting about AI at the same time as the reptiles themselves have introduced an impossibly silly form of BETA AI?

Speaking of the intertubes and AI and all that, isn't everything under control?

The pond did look around for alternatives, only to discover that the reptiles idea of appealing to younglings of the female kind was to pump up the volume for a lesser wannabe new Kathy Lette ...

Menopausal billionaire ex-wives, not AI club, may shape the future

By Jenna Clarke

associate editor (caps, what are they?)

The pond could only bear to offer a sample, and let the intermittent archive carry the burden ...

Don't get mad, just leave the reptile room.

And snappy Tom's offering was just more of the usual reptile jihad which has gone on for month after month.

How many want to keep bashing their head with this particular hammer? Perhaps if you're a member of the hive mind cult, but pay for it, when you might be going for a walk, or enjoying a sea breeze and a coastal view?

By 

Tom Dusevic

Gap widens between PM’s rhetoric and reality

The old surplus rag ...hard pass, and off to the intermittent archive with him.

No doubt the reptiles thought that rolling out a serve of heroic Homeric Henry would keep the hive mind happy, but again, who would want to pay for a history lesson from the pompous, portentous pundit?

It was either him or the lizard Oz editorialist, so the pond dived in ...

Others have been there with this line ...

The pond badly needed the help of 'toons to make it to the end ... especially as, even on the pompous pundit's own terms, mad King Donald has done more than win a battle. He's redrawn the field on which the battles of the following decades will be fought ...

On with the history lesson ...

Here's the thing. Our Henry began that gobbet by referencing earlier scribbling in the lizard Oz: "Writing on these pages in the early months of Trump's first term ..."

How hard would it have been for the reptiles to have provided a link? It would have done what the reptiles always want with a link ... keep the punters deep inside the hive mind.

Did no one care, did no one have any interest in what a punter might want to see? Not even Our Henry himelf?

Must it always be left to the pond to duck out and have a look around and discover Washington faces Donald Trump’s shock and awe tactics:

Was that so hard? If the pond is going to be bored silly, it should be given the opportunity to do a "that was then, and this is now" comparison.

Back to the latest history lesson ...

Time to cast Ronnie Raygun as a moderate of the most genteel kind ...

It was about this point in the long haul that the pond began to realise that Our Henry would resolutely avoid any mention of Faux Noise, News Corporation, the Emeritus Chairman, and their roles in this folly ... with all of them rolling over at the drop of a hat, provided the ratings stayed solid, and business kept on doing well, to the point where they'd become so Trumpian they'd even have to fork out some US$787 million over the way that'd they'd recycled and amplified the mad King's election fraud claims.

Just a minor cost of doing Trumpian business.

It seems there's history to be tracked, and then there's history to be ignored, covered up, and forgotten ...

The ultimate threat? A president of the left? Is FDR still some sort of boogeyman that must be berated?

The pond reached the final gobbet with a bitter sense of disappointment.

This was the best the lizard Oz and the hole in bucket man had to offer?

Always the rabbiting on about the dangers of the left, and none about the dangers of far right media owners facilitating ratbag populists.

Might not a comparison between William Randolph Hearst and Emeritus Chairman Rupert have been germane?

Never mind, on with the eternal radical socialist shibboleth, a comfort to the rich, a never ending piñata for the Emeritus Chairman's hacks.

Health care for all? Affordable housing? The opportunity for an education? All dangerous forms of socialism ...

A wrecker not a builder ... that is what the Emeritus Chairman helped gift to the world.

And speaking of that, a final word from the lizard Oz editorialist ...

He must "remain resolute", after all that's already gone down?

Hasn't that "remain resolute" routine gone well ...

Indeed, indeed, carry on regardless...

And what about Invidia?

Oh go tell all that to Uncle Leon. Sounds like a dangerous form of socialism, of the kind designed to put a prick up the ears of Our Henry ...

Do finish up ...

The reptiles have only just worked out that mad King Donald has been making a fortune selling out to China, and selling Ukraine down the river to Vlad the sociopath, and selling the country off to the tech bros and the crypto overlords?

Oh and the Emeritus Chairman has been doing well, at least until the recent ratings slump.

So all's well in the world...

Might as well catch up with the immortal Rowe ...

... and celebrate yet another home improvement ...

Last but not least, one for the other team, a team that seemingly deliberately couldn't get its shiiiit together to give Pete Kegsbreath a hard time ...

Useless. They always disappoint, but the ability of the Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory seems endless, and endlessly astonishing ...

In which the bromancer does Nvidia, and the dog botherer and the Ughmann do bog standard "won't someone think of the coal?" turns ...

 

So the pond was lucky that it had banned Microsoft products from the house.

Speaking of tech bros, the pond wasn't so lucky at not having banned the bromancer from the blog.

He was at it in a bigly way this weekend, and all the pond could do was sit back and watch.

There were only two matters that carried the pond through the bro's interminable forensic examination of the bros.

Would the bromancer offer his usual both siderist patter about mad King Donald doing some very good things during his reign, and how goes the war with China - is war by Xmas a lost cause?

So nothing to get excited about, just the world blown up, and chaos unfolding and marching on Surry Hills, as if in a W. B. Yeats poem.

The pond guessed that the bromancer would maintain a rock steady calm in the face of his determined attempt to lather up hysteria ...

What happened to the many good things the mad King has done during his reign? How are we suddenly plunged into a whiff of Watergate?

Is there no hope of redemption, no way to avoid what Faux Noise and News Corporation has wrought?

Yes, yes, all that, but can't someone just step up and take the fall?

But didn't the mad King and his minions actively conspire to give Nvidia comfort? 

Didn't the mad King negotiate a killer deal? Wasn't it the very best example of government socialism?

After initially restricting the sales of Nvidia’s H20 chips to China, Trump reversed course last summer, allowing the firm to sell the chips — which were developed with U.S. exports in mind — to China for a 15 percent cut. Trump also cleared the way late last year for Nvidia to sell its more powerful H200 chips to China for a 25 percent cut of revenue. (The Hill)

Didn't the mad King cut himself into the action? Per the Graudian:

Trump bought up Nvidia stock as he decided on policy that would benefit chipmaker
President purchased up to $5m of stock before revoking Biden-era rule that limited Nvidia’s ability to sell to China

DeKleptocracy wrote in its analysis: “While the country debates how a possible Chinese spy may have manipulated White House policy for one AI company, it must grapple with how Trump’s corruption may have motivated him to deliver the entire AI industry’s technology to China.”

The pond suspects that this time the bromancer might struggle with the proposition that the mad King and his minions did some good things along with the bad and the deeply corrupt.

Time now to check out that leather coat ...

There you go, total failure on the part of the mad King ...and at last the bromancer is cooking with the absolutely weird...

It's as if a light just clicked on in the bromancer's head ... as if he'd reached some kind of inflection point.

Now about that war with China by Xmas, what with the bromancer once famous for being a China hawk of the first water ...

Is there a shred of the old bromancer left after all that?

Of course there is, as the bromancer turns to the disgraced Pezzullo for a comment, dressing up the disgraced former cardigan wearer as "one of Australia's shrewdest strategic thinkers", so shrewd The Mandarin managed to get a whole series out of Mike Pezzullo's spectacular fall from grace (sorry, paywall, but you can surrender your details)

The pond will keep on dropping in on the bromancer to see if he ever recants his routine about the mad King doing some good things. And about that war with China...

In the meantime, a cartoon will suffice ...

Speaking of dicks, early in the morning the reptiles were wildly excited by talk of dicks ...

Later that was downgraded, with "Ned" put top of the "news" section with a rehash of the lizard Oz Albo and Jimbo jihad, but the pond has enough on its plate and will save "Ned" for the morrow.

But the pond should at least note the malignant Magnay's work ...

COP31 EMBARRASSMENT
Albanese, Bowen hot mic ‘dick-gate’ gaffe under review
Anthony Albanese and Chris Bowen caught in ‘dick-gate’ gaffe by hot mic
COP31’s co-president Chris Bowen missed several key climate negotiations after he and Prime Minister Anthony Albanese were caught on camera in a crude exchange at the Antalya summit.
By Jacquelin Magnay

The archived version was an early one, but a compare and contrast did reveal how reptiles go about their business.

This in the archived version ...

Delegates at COP31 in Turkey are well aware of Mr Albanese’s infamous remarks earlier this year about wanting to shag and date Kylie Minogue.

... became this in the final copy ...

Many delegates at COP31 in Turkey are well aware of Mr Albanese’s infamous remarks earlier this year about wanting to shag and date Kylie Minogue. On a radio interview in June, Mr Albanese made a suggestive joke about melons and he used hand gestures near his chest in reference to being gifted two prized melons in May from the Japanese prime minister Sanae Takaichi. He later apologised.

There's nothing like a reptile litany!

The pond's main complaint was the way that the reptiles have taken to using social media formats. with sometimes dire consequences in terms of the look ...

The pond should also note the reptiles whining and squawking at the way some refuse to pander to their assorted jihads ...

MISSING MINISTERS
Politicians get a free pass from Virginia Bell at Bondi antisemitism inquiry
Royal commissioner Virginia Bell has refused to explain why no government ministers were called to give evidence at the antisemitism inquiry, despite senior figures condemning the omission.
By James Dowling

That yarn brought out the echo Chambers to produce a whine ...

COMMENTARY by GEOFF CHAMBERS
Royal commissioner lets PM and his team off the hook
If the politicians don’t front up, acknowledge mistakes and explain policy and funding decisions, how can the royal commission into antisemitism be taken seriously?

Unfortunately the archived version was saved with an ungainly layout, and as it could be presented in a single gobbet, why not go the full whine?

The pond is betting that the Australian Daily Zionist News will keep up this whining through December and into the new year ...

And so to the most dismal task of the weekend.

This is a COP year, and so the reptiles decided the pond should cop a massive bout of climate science denialism, with much screeching, wailing and sackcloth and ashes about the fate of their beloved, dinkum, innocent, virginal coal.

Both the Ughmann and the dog botherer were at it and at great length.

As the pond's herpetology students are showing signs of fatigue, they have permission to leave the room.

Only the most devoted fanatical devotee of reptile heresies could stay this course ...

The pond has already the tendency for reptiles to adopt the uglier aspects of social media practice, glaring balefully into the camera with odd framings ... and the dog botherer was down with it ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, isn't there anyone in the hive mind to tell him that glowering at the camera in that way with his "woke" coloured spectacles is tremendously unnerving?

And then more space was taken up with a tweet, as the pond recalled that early in the morning on Remembrance Day, there was not a single reptile acknowledgment of the day at the top of the digital "news" page, or on the extreme far right ...and this was the cover for the tree killer edition on the 11th day of the 11th month ...

An ad at the bottom of the page, and not a single editorial contribution to the memory, but do go on ...

Then came yet another distracting visual break, featuring Malware, an easy way to get the pond agitated ...

By this point, some hardened souls might be wondering when the pitch for Oz coal will come...but relax, come it will ...with the usual reptile bells and whistles ...

The pond often attempts some balance by inserting a story about climate science but not this day because after this dog botherer outing, there was still the Ughmann to come ...

A man with "woke" coloured glasses has the cheek to rail at "woke policies?" 

And at the end he even has the cheek to pretend we can lower emissions and care for the environment, by way of a John Howardism?

Normally the use of "woke" would trigger the pond's contractual requirements about making a woke joke, but this time the pond will settle for the infallible Pope ...

And so to the Ughmann, there being no end to the suffering, as the unreformed former seminarian raids and ransacks his old copy like AI gone mental, so he can produce an interminable example of more of the same ...

Spoiler alert.

The entire point of this outing is that old familiar reptile routine: coal, coal, coal.

The Ughmann takes forever to get there, with the piece blessed (if that's the right word, perhaps damned?) with the usual religion-inflected theological tonalities...

Nobody said responding to climate change was easy, but you'd have to be a mindless moron to think that doing the same that's got us here was any sort of solution, but that's the way of the reptiles ... down with renewables, embrace the fossil fools, especially coal, coal, coal ...

If the pond has one complaint about this presentation - apart from the usual fatuousness the Ughmann always displays with his faux religiosity - is the way that the reptiles this time steadfastly refused to feature demonic windmills and searing solar panels gazing out at the hive mind with a Sauron-like intensity ...

What chances were missed with the next distracting snaps...

Eek, that snap's almost as scary as a demonic windmill.

And the entire point of the Ughmann outing?

It came in the last line, and really just the last line should have sufficed, and saved an enormous amount of tedium ...

Dumb fcuk reptiles anyone?

Poor world...

More ways to waste time ...