Sure, the reptiles have made this weekend digitally free, as a way of trying to snare a few Poohs in their honeypot.
But what happens when the honeypot snaps closed?
What happens when someone wants to know what Polonius was prattling about this day?
Did he revile the ABC yet again?
Or did he take a truly pathetic wander down memory lane?
Why, to answer those questions, punters will have to turn back time, to find a way, as they sing along with Cher, and rifle through the pond to discover some ancient, once thought lost, Polonial trifle...
Speaking of truly pathetic wanderings down memory lane ...
Just when it might be thought that Australia had reached peak Howard, I noticed a new book in my local bookshop on Tuesday. Titled Where It All Went Wrong: The Case Against John Howard (Scribner), it’s written by former Guardian Australia journalist Amy Remeikis, now chief political analyst at the leftist Australia Institute. It speaks volumes for the left’s obsession with Australia’s second longest serving prime minister (after Robert Menzies) that Remeikis would see fit to put together what is essentially an anti-Howard rant. The author declares that her subject is a man of “arrested development” who presided over a government replete with “moral deficit”. She concludes that Howard is “irrelevant to our future”. Why be obsessed with someone who is (allegedly) irrelevant?
The pond did attempt to retain something of the flavour of the original, and the new layout that the lizards of Oz are experimenting with ...
It's about all that's novel in this tired outing ...
Remeikis attempts to diminish Howard’s success, writing: “The myth that Howard was popular and unchallenged during his 11 years as prime minister is largely aimed at keeping his legacy intact. The truth is that Howard only just flopped over the line in 1999 (sic) and lost the popular vote for the two elections after but won government.”
To help keep the myth alive, the reptiles showed the lying rodent in his most potent, most winning moment, Mr Howard with wife Janette hands over The Lodge to incoming PM Kevin Rudd and wife Therese Rein in 2007. Picture: Ray Strange
Undeterred by that moment, Polonius ploughed on ...
This is wrong. Sure, the Coalition won 49 per cent of the popular vote in 1998. But the Coalition took a proposed new tax to the election and won. Few incumbent governments have done this. The Coalition did win the popular vote in 2001 (51 per cent) and 2004 (52.7 per cent). This was close to the popular vote the Coalition won in 1996 (53.6 per cent). The publisher’s fact-checkers should have done better; the Remeikis error is not of the typographical kind. Rather, it’s an attempt to put down Howard and the government he led that consisted of much talent. Without question, Howard is one of Australia’s most successful leaders with respect to policy and politics. There are some who believed he should have handed over to Peter Costello in 2006 when he had been in office for a decade. After all, Costello had been a first-rate treasurer, so much so that the Coalition left Australia in late 2007 with no net debt. Howard’s interviews with Uhlmann and Kelly indicate he thinks he made the right decision to stay on. Costello told Uhlmann that Howard had been a successful leader but being successful meant knowing “when to go” and “when to stay”. However, Costello acknowledged that he did not believe the Coalition would have won the subsequent election if he had taken over. He was of the view that the Coalition had failed to renew and defeat was likely. The focus on the Howard government overlooks Howard’s time in opposition and when Malcolm Fraser appointed him as treasurer in 1977. Howard says the Fraser government’s first two terms were successful but it faltered in its final term. As I document in my book Malcolm Fraser: A Personal Reflection (Connor Court, 2025), in his 2006 Boyer Lectures former Reserve Bank governor Ian Macfarlane credited Howard with changing the tender system for the sale of Treasury bonds in 1979 and 1982. Macfarlane regarded this as an economic reform second only to the float of the Australian dollar in 1983 by the Hawke government.
Could it be ancient history without Polonius inserting himself into the narrative? Could you please wake up and read on?
I worked for Howard between 1984 and 1986, initially when he was deputy leader and shadow treasurer and from September 1985 as leader. In both roles he attempted to work towards reforming Australia’s highly centralised industrial relations system. This was achieved initially by Keating’s Labor government. But Howard led the policy debate in the face of opposition from Hawke.
The reptiles' new layout struck again ...
The pond was distraught. No ABC, and only a routine bashing of a one time Graudian layabout ...
At the Sky News documentary premiere last Monday, Howard told the audience the most important time political leaders can spend is with their parliamentary colleagues. This was practised by Howard before he became leader the second time in 1995 and during his prime ministership. It was not so evident in the 1980s. In this sense, Howard probably benefited from not defeating Hawke in the 1987 election. He came back a successful leader – so much so that sections of the left want to rant against him almost two decades after he left the Lodge. Gerard Henderson is executive director of The Sydney Institute.
Even worse, at time of writing, the flaccid Polonial scribble had only attracted a few comments ... suggesting even the hive mind was wearied by this boring reversion to ancient history ...
Have a break, have a 'toon ...
Ah, echoes of Bernie ...
At this point, the pond must confess a certain slackness, a certain fatigue, definitely a refined sense of tedium and ennui set in...
After all, if correspondents wanted to attempt a "Ned" Everest climb, they could do it for free.
Should the pond attempt to save this shouting at clouds "Ned" for later contemplation?
Nah, all the pond needed to do was provide a teaser trailer ...
No need to save that one for history, it'll be digital fish and chips soon enough in the endless reptile obsession with the RC, but to be fair, the hive mind showed an astonishing desire to crow about their ability to climb the "Ned" Everest...
The pond won't be attempting to repeat that plunge into the hive mind anytime soon ...
Better to celebrate the endless ability to forget:
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth also authorized the $100,000 purchase of a Steinway & Sons grand piano for the Air Force chief of staff’s home, according to a watchdog report
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth’s Pentagon apparently isn’t feeling the same affordability struggles as many average Americans, as he approved spending more than $93 billion in September, including on luxury food items and iPads.
A new analysis published by government watchdog Open the Books found that in September — the end of the 2025 fiscal year — Hegseth reportedly burned through cash, including spending $9 million on crab and lobster dinners.
According to Military.com, an increase in military officials eating pricey meals has traditionally been viewed as a sign that something may be brewing — such as President Donald Trump’s war in Iran — though it appears Hegseth has been dining well at the Pentagon since at least last spring.
The spending review found that in the month of September alone, the Defense Department spent $6.9 million in total on lobster tail and $2 million on Alaskan king crab, according to the government watchdog. In 2025, the department also spent more than $7.4 million on lobster tail across the months of March, May, June and October.
The decadent seafood wasn't the only expensive sustenance purchased at the Pentagon. Hegseth also spent approximately $15.1 million on ribeye steak in September, $124,000 for new ice cream machines, and $139,224 on doughnut orders.
Due to the way federal funding works, there is pressure on department heads to end their fiscal years without a surplus of funds. If they do, it raises questions in Congress as to whether or not the agency or department needs a reduction in its annual budget.
That said, some of the purchases are lavish. In September, Hegseth spent nearly $100,000 on a Steinway & Sons grand piano to outfit the home of the Air Force chief of staff. He also spent $5.3 million on Apple devices, including brand-new iPads, according to the report.
The U.S. Department of Defense spent $93 billion last September as the fiscal year closed. One week of Trump's Iran war cost taxpayers $11.3 billion. And we're just getting started.)
In keeping with that spirit, the pond decided on the swishing Switzer - still on his endless rehabilitation tour - for its bonus after-dinner mint ...
That sighting of the asbestos lady almost sent the pond into a kind of toxic shock.
But who had devised that amazing collage?
The pond scoured the caption for a big reveal:
A woman sits on rubble across from a residential building damaged last Monday during the US-Israeli air campaign in Tehran, Iran. Australia's stance on the regime has seen a marked change from then Foreign Minister Julie Bishop's visit to Tehran in 2015, right, to today. Foreign Minister Penny Wong, left, reflected the general consensus of hostilty to Iran this week. Pictures: AFP/Supplied/News Corp
Say what, no human hand credited for the collage?
Damn you AI, is Frank Ling safe? Will he be able to linger longer in the Oz graphics department?
Has Larry got out the drill and demanded to know if it's safe?
Is reptile copy safe?
Did AI help the swishing Switzer compile his tedious tale?
And what a strange way to spend even a nanosecond of the weekend:
In Canberra today, hostility towards Iran is almost taken for granted. Foreign Minister Penny Wongreflected that consensus recently when she declared: “For decades, the Iranian regime has been a destabilising force through its ballistic missile program, its support for armed proxies and its brutal repression at home.” In April 2015, Bishop travelled to Tehran to forge closer diplomatic ties with the once-isolated regime. In the first visit by an Australian foreign minister to Iran in 12 years, she met president Hassan Rouhani, wearing a headscarf in deference to Islamic traditions. Part of the purpose was practical: to encourage Tehran to accept the return of asylum-seekers who had been refused refugee status in Australia. But there was a broader objective as well. Canberra hoped engagement with Iran might facilitate intelligence co-operation in the fight against Islamic State. At the time, Iranian-backed Shia militias were playing a central role in the ground war against the Sunni jihadists wreaking havoc across Iraq and Syria. Bishop said: “We have a common interest in defeating Daesh” (the Arabic acronym for Islamic State). Iranian forces were training and equipping Shia militia groups heavily involved in the fighting against Islamic State, including in the battle to recapture the Iraqi city of Tikrit, where they received air support from the US. At the same time, about 200 Australian special forces troops were training Iraqi units preparing for the campaign to retake Mosul and other cities from the jihadists.
Yet little more than a decade ago, one of her predecessors, Julie Bishop, was exploring closer co-operation with that same regime.
The reptiles decided to double down on the asbestos lady ... Then-Foreign Affairs minister Julie Bishop meets with the Islamic Republic of Iran Foreign Affairs minister Dr Mohammad Javad Zarif at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Tehran Iran in April, 2015. Picture: Andrew Meares
The pond supposes that brooding about the past prevents any need to brood about the present ...
The swishing Switzer continued with his ancient history lesson:
Bishop also backed the emerging nuclear agreement between Iran, the US and other major powers – a framework intended to curb Tehran’s nuclear program in exchange for the lifting of international sanctions. A few months later Bishop went further still, arguing Iran should be included in strategic discussions between the US and its allies about how to defeat Islamic State. Since Tehran and its allies were doing much of the ground fighting, she suggested, Western powers might need to put aside longstanding hostility and allow Iran a role in shaping the campaign. Yet this pragmatic alignment sat uneasily with Iran’s record. The Islamic Republic had long been regarded in the West as a radical and deeply anti-Western regime – one earlier branded part of the “axis of evil” by George W. Bush.
The reptiles tripled down on the asbestos lady ... Ms Bishop having a photo with Australian Fatima Boussi while visiting the Tajrish Bazaar in North Tehran in Iran in 2015. Picture: Supplied
So the pond saw no reason not to double down on the 'toons ...
Such an elegant, sensitive, deeply caring man.
The swishing Swizter seemed to be building up to the need for a good bermbing ...
Its hostile rhetoric against Israel had alarmed Western governments for decades. In 2015 an Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps commander reportedly described the goal of “erasing Israel” as “non-negotiable”. Iran also remained on the US State Department’s list of state sponsors of terrorism, a designation it had held since 1984. It maintained close ties with the Assad regime in Syria and worked closely with militant organisations such as Hezbollah and Hamas. In Yemen it backed Houthi rebels who had seized the capital, Sanaa. Resisting the rise of Islamic State Yet Iran was also the region’s most powerful Shia state and a central force resisting the rise of Islamic State. Bishop described Islamic State as “the most significant global threat at present”. However uncomfortable it seemed, Iran was playing a pivotal role in mobilising Shia militias and supporting Iraqi government forces battling Islamic State. Iranian commanders were even reported to have indirect contact with US military officials assisting the Iraqi army. The taproot of the brutal sectarian conflict spreading across Iraq and Syria lay in the decision to invade Iraq in 2003. For generations, Sunni Arabs had exercised a disproportionate share of power and resources while brutally suppressing the Shia. By toppling a Sunni regime in Baghdad, the US-led coalition upended that sectarian imbalance. In effect, a dictatorship that had contained sectarian rivalry was suddenly replaced by a fragile political order in which those rivalries burst violently into the open. The consequences were profound. Democracy in post-Saddam Iraq meant the Shia majority became the new political winners, while the Sunni minority emerged as the new losers. The former increasingly looked to their Shia brethren in Tehran for support; the latter gravitated towards a Sunni insurgency that eventually fragmented into a host of jihadist movements, including Islamic State. It was against this background that many policymakers a decade ago concluded that defeating Islamic State justified a limited and pragmatic alignment between Iran and Western powers. The episode was a reminder that policymakers rarely escape the difficult trade-offs and unpleasant compromises that international relations demand. Global problems cannot be solved in a world neatly divided between good guys and bad guys. Iran – the implacable foe of Sunni jihadists (except Hamas) and the long-time rival of Washington’s Gulf partners – has hardly emerged as the stable strategic ally some once imagined. Yet it is also true Iran and its Shia militias played a significant role in helping the US and its partners, including Australia, roll back the territorial strongholds of Islamic State in Iraq and Syria.
Oh surely they're even better than that ...
And with that the swishing Switzer tailed away into a mental void of his own making...
Such uneasy alignments are hardly new in international politics. When explaining his wartime alliance with Joseph Stalin, Winston Churchill famously remarked that if Adolf Hitler invaded hell he would at least make a favourable reference to the Devil in the House of Commons. In the mid-2010s, a similar logic applied in the struggle against Islamic State. Western governments concluded that Iranian-backed forces were indispensable in the fight against the jihadists. That uneasy reality is worth remembering. The contrast between today’s hawkish rhetoric and the diplomatic outreach of a decade ago is not hypocrisy; it is a reminder of how fluid alliances can be in a region defined by overlapping rivalries and shifting threats. In the Middle East – perhaps more than anywhere else – today’s adversary can sometimes become tomorrow’s reluctant partner.
The pond supposes it shows, in the end, the same moral consistency as can be found in the swishing Switzer himself ... a potent mix of humbug and hypocrisy, and the need to forget about his search for fluid alliances.
There was, of course, the chance for a little promotion ...
Tom Switzer is presenter of Switzerland, a podcast on politics, modern history and international relations.
Sad to say, at time of writing, the swishing Switzer had scored just three comments.
The pond could have waited to collect more, but felt a strange relief, as if somehow the pond had managed to stop itself hitting head with hammer...
And anyway, for the wrap-up, some might prefer the infallible Pope's take on current proceedings...
And with that done, the pond decided to provide yet more proof that it can also arrange AV distractions ...
Inevitably, the man who knows how his photograph should be taken - he always looks better in a far right profile snap - featured ...
The wretched, desperate reptiles have attempted to ruin the pond's business model by offering "free digital access" this weekend.
What a feeble ploy. As if the pond would simply fold its tent and steal into the night at this temporary offer of freedumb. Does one sunny day make a summer? Does swallowing a gnat make up for straining at a camel?
The pond was built for tough times, and had experienced a surge of inspirational hope from that visionary genius Melania ...
“As a visionary, I know success is not born overnight, but rather, takes shape after a long, and sometimes challenging process,” she said. “Often alone at the top, I follow my passion, listen to my instinct, and always maintain a laser focus. In solitude, my creative mind dances—filling my imagination with originality. Attention to detail, demanding schedules, and multi-tasking are everyday realities when building towards success. This principle resonates across all my roles: as a mother, humanitarian, philanthropist, and entrepreneur. As well as with my new film, where I shaped its creative direction, served as producer, managed post-production, and activated the marketing campaign.”... “Curiosity is a core value that keeps me ahead of the curve,” she said. “Curiosity begets knowledge, opening doors to ideas and industries that I may have otherwise overlooked. This unrestricted mindset has led me to build across very different sectors: fashion, digital assets, publishing, accessories, skincare, commercial television, and of course, filmmaking. The lessons I learned when launching my earliest ventures, such as how to build a brand, create superior product design, and activate an advertising campaign, remain just as relevant today. Markets evolve, technologies change, but the fundamentals of thoughtful leadership and continuous learning are everlasting.” (Mediaite)
Exquisite.
Markets might evolve, technologies might change, the lizard Oz might be free this weekend, but the fundamentals of continuous learning are everlasting and the pond's mind dances in the dark.
What a must read trouper she is, always venturing into the belly of the beast on a weekly basis ...
...Weekly Beast has confirmed none of the official pictures supplied to the media by Burke’s office featured the players without the minister. It was a good news story for the government after all, and they wanted a smiling minister in the pics. The digital disappearing trick was apparently the work of the Courier Mail. The readers were not alerted to the fact that the official photograph was digitally altered, as is the usual practice. We asked the Courier Mail why they removed Burke, why they didn’t disclose the use of editing software to their readers and why they attributed a doctored photograph to the department. We received no response.
Burke should be honoured to be given the Stalinist treatment, though some might think that's the trouble when it comes to ideology - it's always hard to sort the fascists at the Snail from Stalin's Commie swine.
They equally wish that 1984 had come on schedule, and now the Snail is doing its best to keep that year's Stalinist spirit alive.
But they do their best, and the weekend is when the heavy hitters come out to gaze at their navels and gather fluff in extended bouts of morose bleating.
The pond will make one concession to this new, chaotic, anarchistic land of lizard Oz freedumb.
It will presume that punters will have taken the reptile freebie offer and plunged into Cameron's report, which was top of the lizard Oz ma, early in the morning ...
Sheesh, it's a 16 minute read, it's worse than a "Ned" Everest, and everything in it will have changed or been revised in a day's time.
Cameron recognised the dismal futility of prediction in his final note ...
...just how much weaker the new Iran will be remains to be seen. Much depends on how long Trump chooses to continue to fight this war. And that is a question no one – probably not even Trump – can answer yet.
Much has been done, but yet much remains to be done, and the answer lies in the soil.
Instead of that kind of verbiage, the pond turned to Dame Slap, almost as visionary as Melania ...
The pond will concede that free digital access does trump the pond.
What an astonishing chance to click on the yarn and see the extraordinary, albeit uncredited, graphic of King Donald's arms in Shiva motion.
Exquisite.
And when confronted by a mention of Gerard Baker in the WSJ, no matter, because the reptiles want punters to stay inside the hive mind, so a simple click took you away from Dame Slap to this ...
And so on, and so the pond can't blame anyone for seizing on the reptile feast like a Banquo at a wedding banquet, but the pond will maintain its traditional methodology, because this was sublime essence of Dame Slap MAGA cap wearer:
At least since the advent of mass communications and the birth of modern journalism, political leaders have had a relatively orthodox way of speaking and writing. Those listening to them and reading them – especially journalists and other political watchers – have likewise had a relatively orthodox way of analysing those speeches and writings. That orthodoxy respects and expects logic, predictability and consistency. To get top marks, add some humour, a little homespun morality and some soaring rhetoric. Gerard Baker of The Wall Street Journal gave a textbook critique of the communication techniques of Donald Trump and his administration in these pages this week, concluding that Trump and co are a miserable failure. “We can’t be expected to raise our eyes to the shining beacon of our noble ideals if we can’t see through the acrid smoke of our leaders’ intemperate, incontinent, infantilising verbiage,” Baker wrote. That’s all true. And now my advice, with respect, about Baker’s masterly analysis of the received wisdom is this: rip it up.
Inevitably there was a snap of Dame Slap's hero, designed to make her feel moist, Donald Trump speaks during a press conference in the Brady Press Briefing Room of the White House. Picture: AFP)
The insights tumbled out with astonishing rapidity, as if the Dame had been given an Uzi ...
Trump has been around long enough for political watchers – and voters – to know that trying to understand him, let alone measure him, through the political Ps and Qs of previous leaders is as frustrating as it is pointless. There has never been a US president like Trump and possibly won’t be another one for a very long time, if ever. The surprise is that many still express disappointment about that, expecting that Trump may read their words of advice and perhaps conform, even slightly, to the historical standard for his last term in office. It won’t happen. At some point, American politics will resume (kind of) normal programming, meaning that future presidents will do what past ones have done. There will be a return to (mostly) carefully calibrated words and agreed talking points. Whether their words uplift us or not may depend a great deal on whether we support their brand of politics. Ronald Reagan, known as the Great Communicator, sure knew how to use words to sell important ideas, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea to hear that the “nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.’ ” It’s not unreasonable to be attached to what has gone before. History taught us to expect soaring words to convince us about a war, for example. Winston Churchill famously said “victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival”. Trump is different. Speaking about Iran from his golf club in Florida this week, he said: “They better not try anything cute or it’s going to be the end of that country.”
What a cheenius, so much better than that ancient memory, Ronald and Nancy Reagan waving and clasping hands in victory at Reagan's first inauguration, on January 20, 1981. Picture: via Getty Images
Hmm, did Nancy's devotion to astrology and such like portend the fate of Jackie O? Never mind ...
Here’s Lyndon B. Johnson flogging his Great Society to voters: “The city of man serves not only the needs of the body and the demands of commerce but the desire for beauty and the hunger for community.” Trump is different. Explaining his America First policy to voters, he said: “Whatever they tariff us, other countries, we will tariff them.” Educated elites will always prefer the moving rhetoric of a Churchill or the folksy brilliance of a Reagan or the progressive eloquence of a Barack Obama. Alas, Obama v Trump is another futile contest. Obama was, at times, a magnificent speaker; as far as we can tell, he is a decent human being of unblemished personal integrity. Certainly, he is mostly adored by the media and political commentators. Trump, not so much. But the maverick Trump may well prove to be a much more consequential president. Time will tell. In the meantime we may as well get over our attachment to the norms of politics, where even political leaders who can’t string words together like Churchill or Reagan will, whether talking about domestic policies or international crises, conform to a stock standard style of speaking: they will be cautious, knowing that every word will be parsed for meaning and will become a measuring stick for their performance.
Please pause to hiss, Former US President Barack Obama. Picture: AFP
Time to get things done ...
There is no normal programming under Trump – and he’s entirely at home with that. And so are plenty of average punters in America who seem to prefer Trump’s straight-talking “don’t try anything cute” leadership. In Australia, saying you like even some things about Trump is best done in private and shared only with your dog. It’s not just that Trump’s words matter less than his actions. His unpredictable, shifting, messy and mercurial style, be it about war or tariffs, is how he gets things done. This is discombobulating for those of us who are used to expecting a certain consistency and clarity, to the extent that political leaders offer that. And let’s not get carried away with that either. Flip flops are part of the political toolkit for most leaders. But by normal standards Trump is a trailblazer on moving the goalposts. What he is clear about on Monday, demanding regime change in Iran, changes by Friday, when what he is clear about is that the mission in Iran has become about getting rid of the nukes. Maybe Trump watched too much Get Smart as a kid. At times he sounds like the comic spy Maxwell Smart, who was famous for his “would you believe” routines. Like this one: “At this very moment, this warehouse is being surrounded by 100 cops with Doberman pinschers … Would you believe it? A hundred cops with Doberman pinschers … Would you believe 10 security guards and a bloodhound? … How about a boy scout with rabies?”
Back to a reassuring, calming image, Donald Trump speaks to the press after landing on Air Force One on March 11. Picture: Getty Images
What a treasure for MAGA cap wearers of the Dame Slap kind ..
That said, those who want to write Trump off as a buffoon are the silly ones. He often goes too far, in ways that shock us, but the result is often far better than where we started. He skewered the deeply flawed progressive commandment DEI, went too far trying to punish universities, but ultimately allowed a more honest reckoning of a policy that was innately unfair. Is Trump’s unpredictability innate, deliberate, clever or plain dumb? Some and all of those, at different times. Deliberate and clever in the sense that as the negotiator-in-chief, Trump knows that uncertainty keeps the other side on their toes, be they European countries, Gulf states or Iran. It means that not even allies can take for granted what has gone before Trump. And why should they take the past for granted? America has done all the heavy lifting on European security for years. Trump ensured that European members of NATO finally realised – after decades of putting their heads in the sands and ignoring previous US presidents – that they needed to pay more for their own security. A few decades ago, there were grand promises from NATO members to beef-up defence spending to 2 per cent of their country’s GDP. In 2014, three NATO members were doing that. In 2025, 31 countries delivered on that commitment – and at the NATO summit in The Hague last year, NATO members upped that commitment to 5 per cent of GDP by 2035. This monumental shift in defence spending by European countries didn’t happen under Joe Biden or Obama or George W. Bush.
Indeed, indeed ...
Sorry, the actual distraction, not that Seth Meyer graphics department offering, Trump speaks to the media aboard Air Force One on October 24, 2025, on the way to high-stakes trade talks with Chinese counterpart Xi Jinping, saying that he would also like to meet North Korean leader Kim Jong-un on his trip. Picture: AFP
On with the worshipping ...
Trump’s aggro style is also innate, one suspects. Love him or really loathe him, the 45th and 47th American President is about as authentic a leader as the world will ever see. That is no solace when Trump is being plain dumb, by offending his closest allies for no good reason, telling a World Economic Forum in January that NATO troops “stayed a little off the front lines” in Afghanistan. Trump’s brash, unpredictable style is genuinely disappointing for those who want decorum in politics. Worse, his manner is terribly troubling for those who want to know what the heck he will do tomorrow. But remember that Trump’s bewildering approach to leadership is also confusing his enemies. And that may be a good thing. The new line-up of ruling mullahs in Iran truly has no idea what Trump has planned, largely because Trump may not have worked it out either. It might then be worth us cavilling less about Trump’s unique style of political leadership if that leads to befuddled confusion among Iran’s mullahs. Even the nickname he earned – TACO – cannot be applied consistently. Trump’s attacks on Iran – last year and in the latest devastating bombing campaign – show that sometimes Trump doesn’t chicken out.
How to make a purse out of a sow's ear? Easy if you're Dame Slap ... Trump’s bewildering approach to leadership is also confusing his enemies. Picture: AFP
Oh we're all completely confused, and bewildered, and how good is that, and marvel at the way that smug smirk sent Dame Slap into a final fawn ...
To be sure, the US President may well get gun shy. He may move the mission goalposts again, calling an end to hostilities in Iran because of domestic pressures, but he has most certainly changed Iran, if not the regime, by reducing its military capabilities. Iran built up its military capabilities under Obama and Biden. Remember Obama’s famous “red line” with Syria? Obama promised “enormous consequences” and said he would “change my calculus” on American military intervention in Syria’s civil war if Bashar al-Assad used chemical weapons. In 2013 Assad used a deadly nerve gas, killing more than 1000 rebels. And Obama blinked. Trump’s determination to neuter Iran’s military may well alter regional politics in the Middle East. For years, while assuring investors they were peaceful and thriving economies, Gulf states, especially the United Arab Emirates, did deals with the devils in Tehran, allowing the mullahs to use front companies to use the banking systems of Arab countries to bypass international sanctions. Now those same Arab countries are being bombed by Iran. Perhaps this reality will drive Arab countries towards a tighter regional pact that recognises that Iran is led by a terrorist regime. The monumental changes in the Middle East can’t be measured now, it is far too premature, but there are signs that offer cautious optimism. True, there is no soaring rhetoric, no logical, reasoned explanation of his Middle East policy. That’s not Trump’s modus operandi. And he’s not going to change. This is his last term. POTUS Trump is certainly having a red-hot go at overturning the accepted wisdom of history. He hasn’t met a sacred cow he won’t turn into minced meat, in his own mercurial and messy way. And that includes taking a knife to orthodox political leadership. So we may as well stop wishing for something different. The ride may not be pleasant but it is possible that we end up in a world that has confronted some unpleasant realities.
The pond was so delighted by the freedumb to hand that it decided to plunge deep into the hive mind below Dame Slap's offerings ...
Stunning stuff, and a reminder to pond correspondents that there's no point being slackers ...
See how the hive mind chips in with astonishing insights ...
Oh William, William ... your bus is waiting ...
And so to the bromancer, and for some strange inexplicable reason, the bromancer went MIA on foreign affairs, the war and the whole damned thing, and instead decided to join the Canavan caravan ...
Sheesh, 8 minutes of the bromancer on the Canavan caravan, but at least it distracted from King Donald ... and the war, and the Ruskis getting an edge in Vlad the Sociopath's war on Ukraine ...
Selecting senator Matt Canavan as the Nationals’ new leader is the most important single action the Coalition has taken to come to terms with the crisis of centre-right politics, the rise of populism and the collapse of legitimacy across institutions that is roiling Australia and manifests in some form in virtually every Western democratic society. Polls now put Pauline Hanson’s One Nation ahead of the Coalition with about 25 per cent support. That’s astonishing, a profound crisis for the centre right. Two things stand out. One Nation’s vote is also just behind Labor’s, which is down on its low primary vote at the last election. Our perverse electoral system delivered Labor a seats landslide but voters are deserting Labor too. Second, the Coalition plus One Nation and other bits and pieces on the right score just under half the primary vote. The electoral swing to the left is overstated. Across the democratic world, both right and left populism is surging. On February 26 the second by-election under Keir Starmer’s British Labour government was convincingly won by the Green Party, which is even more extreme than the Australian Greens. Nigel Farage’s Reform UK came second. The electorate in Greater Manchester (under different names) has been held by Labour since the 1930s. The Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats both scored less than 2 per cent. Neither Labour nor the Conservatives was competitive. The other, earlier by-election since Starmer’s triumph in 2024 was also in a safe Labour seat. It was won by Reform. Voters don’t like the major parties.
The reptiles threw in an AV distraction, which freedumb seekers might well be able to play ...
German spy agency labels far-right AfD 'extremist' Germany's domestic intelligence agency on Friday classified the far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) as an extremist entity that threatens democracy, a move enabling it to better monitor the party that came second in February's federal election. Sean Hogan reports.
What a chance to have a free beer with the reptiles ... even better than the DW reports that litter ABC News ...and what a relief, because relax, it's not all about the way that coal batters ... the cunning bro had simply used the Canavan caravan to indulge in a world tour showing off his catholic tastes ...
In the US, Donald Trump’s populism has displaced traditional Republican politics. In Italy Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni and her Brothers of Italy party have completely eclipsed the Christian Democrats. In France, Marine Le Pen’s National Rally has displaced the Gaullists in opposition. In Germany, Alternative for Germany is growing and challenging the Christian Democrats, who rule federally but only in an unnatural deformity of a coalition with the Social Democrats (as though Angus Taylor were prime minister and Anthony Albanese deputy prime minister). Importantly, not all right-of-centre populists are the same. Alternative for Germany I think genuinely extreme, whereas Meloni is Europe’s most impressive head of government. Left-wing populism is also on the rise. The British Greens are virulently anti-Israel to the point of antisemitism and ran in an electorate with a 30 per cent Muslim minority by smearing the left-wing Starmer government as being too pro-Israel. They ran the normal Greens nonsense on economics. They are a deeply weird party even by Greens standards. Their leader, Zack Polanski, once claimed he could increase the size of women’s breasts through hypnosis. Yet the British Greens, in numerous polls, are now running second nationally to Reform, with the Conservatives third and Labour fourth. The extreme, nutty and nasty Greens could be a big part of a future UK government. New York City mayor Zohran Mamdani won a huge victory with vile anti-Israel policies (what’s that got to do with being mayor? Good question), all sorts of new anti-business taxes and extravagant economic giveaways.
There's nothing like defaming Islamics to get the bromancer going, New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani, a democratic socialist, heralded the first time a mayor of New York City used Islam’s holy text to be sworn in. Picture: Andres Kudacki/AP
The bromancer was up for deep currents and complex issues, and sorted them out in his usual simpleton, simplistic way ...
There’s no guarantee Trump won’t be succeeded in the White House by someone from the Democratic Party’s populist left. Elderly socialist Bernie Sanders twice went close to winning the Democrats’ nomination. These are deep currents and complex issues, but let’s try to identify a few key trends. Western electorates are suffering economic stagnation, slow or negligible economic growth and often, certainly in Australia, real decline in living standards. They are ageing societies, child-averse and ever more welfare dependent. They’re disoriented by social change at a dizzying pace, through often unplanned and uncontrolled mass immigration, some of it attracted by Western welfare, and through successive technology revolutions from social media to artificial intelligence. Almost all Western societies now have sizeable Muslim minorities (a bit more than a million in Australia), which means that anti-Israel attitudes are important in left-wing populism. Green crusading extremism and identity politics become populist cudgels for semi-educated graduates long instructed to hate their own societies. Scandals such as the Jeffrey Epstein affair add to the contempt voters have for elites. Populism traffics heavily in culture and symbols, and here left and right clash viciously, but they often converge on much economic policy, namely governments making wildly inefficient, non-means-tested payments to voters. Thus the Albanese government abolishes much student debt, pays voters money to compensate for energy price rises caused by government policy, finances universal childcare, NDIS expenditure grows exponentially, etc. Voters increasingly think all mainstream parties useless if not corrupt and try alternatives, especially ones that seem authentic and promise disruption. Cue Trump, Farage, Meloni, Le Pen etc.
The world tour came to a juddering halt, no thanks to the red head ... Polls now put Pauline Hanson’s One Nation ahead of the Coalition with about 25 per cent support. Picture: NewsWire / Simon Dallinger
The bro was outraged. While everyone knows that Mamdani is vile, there has to be some kind of limit:
Hanson scores not because One Nation offers coherent policies (which it doesn’t) but because she’s plainly authentic and has been consistent on a few issues. She’s against net-zero energy policy. She wants net-zero immigration. And she wants much less Muslim immigration. I think she’s wrong on immigration. Her recent comment suggesting there were no “good Muslims” (which she later partly withdrew) was offensive in principle and utterly ridiculous. Yet its very ridiculousness created its cut-through. It’s Trump-like. If you want to vote to reduce Islamic immigration, Hanson’s got through to you. Notwithstanding Hanson’s offensive and ridiculous Muslim comment, Tony Abbott is surely right to argue that One Nation is today more moderate and mainstream than it was in 1998. It’s no longer a party of nuts and ratbags that gets 3 per cent support. Barnaby Joyce, for all his travails long one of the big cats in Australian politics, gives it a daily media presence beyond Hanson.
Ah, the bromancer, still deeply in love with the onion muncher. What an enduring romance for the ages.
Now for a truly terrifying sight ... Greens Senator David Shoebridge this week described Coalition politicians as ‘scumbags’. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman
Time to get back on that Canavan caravan ...
I think One Nation today far more moderate and sensible than the Greens, far less offensive and prejudiced. If the choice is between a One Nation MP and a Greens MP, the nation is better served with a One Nation MP. The Coalition should compete with One Nation the way Labor competes with the Greens. The progressive media never calls out Greens extremism – Greens senator David Shoebridge in the Senate this week described Coalition politicians as “scumbags”, one of a million examples of routine Greens abuse, not to mention countless party statements that are effectively antisemitic – and never demands Labor preference Greens last. In the coming Farrer by-election, the Libs and Nats will preference each other but would then be smart to put One Nation ahead of Labor and the teal-like independent. When One Nation polls 25 per cent, putting it last insults its voters. Canavan is important because he’s a big, authentic personality; he has been consistent on key issues such as net zero; he believes things passionately; he’s a mainstream, good-humoured, relatable guy; he’ll win the energy debate if he gets a fair hearing; and he’s full of energy. Subjective factors count. The populist era favours big personalities. Australia will be better off if the Coalition remains the dominant centre-right force. To do this it must mainly fight Labor; convince voters it has economic solutions; and compete vigorously with One Nation but reject the progressive double standard that demonises it while giving the Greens a fraudulent pass. A broad coalition of the right versus the Labor-Greens-teals coalition of the left is the most coherent politics we’ll get. It could be much worse. Greg Sheridan is The Australian’s foreign editor.
The pond regrets that the bromancer's piece attracted far less sound and fury than did Dame Slap's ... but all the same, here's a short plunge into the hive mind...
It was what the pond needed as a reminder before plunging into the strange world of that unreformed seminarian, the Ughmann ...
What an astonishing piece of art, with nary a hint of AI about it, just pure undiluted Salvador DalÃ.
Frankly the pond doesn't think that Frank has ever come up with a better example of the hive mind at work ... A visual metaphor for the ‘green dream’ confronting the overwhelming reality of fossil fuel dominance in the global energy landscape. Sources: Gemini. Artwork by Frank Ling
Well done Frank, what an astonishing visual artist you are, full of profound metaphors that have echos of Melania ... though sadly your bigly genius was followed by an interminable 10 minute read with the Ughmann, or so the reptiles clocked it, though for the pond it felt like eternity captured in an oil barrel ...
When a US nuclear submarine torpedoed an Iranian warship last week, the three Australians on board the American boat were reportedly ordered to their bunks. This astonishing news nugget was unearthed by The Nightly’s Andrew Greene and the government has not denied it. We do not know whether our sailors were instructed to pull the doona over their heads, but Acting Defence Minister Pat Conroy did confirm that “they played absolutely no role in the offensive operation”.
Recognising that this was a compleat turn off, the reptiles quickly flung in the shaken and stirred Bond of Sky Noise down under (still no re-brand?)
Albanese revealed Australians were on the US submarine that sank an Iranian frigate Sky News host Caleb Bond backs Prime Minister Albanese after he revealed three Australians were on board the US submarine that sank an Iranian frigate. “The Prime Minister exclusively confirmed to Sky News today that three Australians were on board the US submarine that sank an Iranian frigate this week,” Mr Bond said. “They were on board the sub as part of the AUKUS agreement to give Australian sailors experience on nuclear submarines. “Now the Greens have been trying to make out like this means we have boots on the ground or something. That's not what's happening. “A few Australians happened to be present when a naval submarine was on a naval mission. Nothing more, nothing less.”
That sent the Ughmann into a frenzy of grim realities, and never mind the grim reality of climate science:
It is hard to conjure a more perfect metaphor for Australia’s mindset in the face of grim realities: when the world gets rough, Australia reaches for the security blanket. We prefer the comfort of bedtime stories about international law, global order and middle-power potency to hard truths about real political and material power. One of the Albanese government’s favourite fables is that the world is undergoing a rapid energy transition to cut carbon emissions. In this tale the shift from fossil fuels is swift, painless and profitable as the globe is saved from Armageddon by multinational wheels whirring in electric harmony. Hydrocarbons vanish as wind, solar and batteries power nations, electric vehicles hum through the streets and green industries sprout like flowers on the graves of dark satanic mills. Australia emerges as a clean energy superpower. This story is echoed by a revolutionary guard of energy-illiterate politicians, bureaucrats, activists and subsidy-harvesting businesses. They are now on a unity ticket claiming the war-induced shortage of oil and gas proves Australia’s energy security lies in ditching fossil fuels and hitching our fortunes to the whims of the weather. To believe this you have to ignore a basic truth: fossil fuels built the modern world and still sustain it. Wealth is energy converted into work. The more energy a society commands, the richer it becomes. The price of oil and gas underpins the price of everything. Australia is rich in hydrocarbons and could shield itself from global shocks by exploiting the wealth beneath our feet. Instead our rulers have chosen to restrict the fuels that power our economy.
Gas 'em all ... The North West Shelf gas project, a testament to Australia’s significant hydrocarbon wealth. Exploiting such resources could shield the nation from global energy shocks, yet current policies restrict access to the fuels that power our economy. Picture: Supplied
Gotta love that burn off, and the Ughmann maintained the burn ...
The irony is stark: the loudest voices warning about energy scarcity are the ones working hardest to create it. The latest Gulf war is a brutal reminder of which fuels actually matter. This war is being waged by combatants who know that targeting energy sources cripples nations. Iran may be helpless to stop American and Israeli strikes but it can inflict worldwide pain by choking oil and gas supply through the Strait of Hormuz and bombing the regional infrastructure that keeps hydrocarbons moving: refineries, export terminals and fuel depots. This is now a global energy war. Despite decades of talk about transition, the world still runs predominantly on oil, gas and coal. When the flow of those fuels slows, the consequences rip through the international economy. Not convinced? Try this pop quiz.
For some perverse reason, the reptiles decided to interrupt the quiz with a couple of snaps ... Oil tankers and ships line up in the Strait of Hormuz as seen from Khor Fakkan, United Arab Emirates, on March 11, 2026. Picture: AP;The Thailand-flagged cargo ship Mayuree Naree engulfed in black smoke in the Strait of Hormuz, after an attack by Iranian forces. Picture: AFP
Then the Ughmann could get on with a standard bit of renewables bashing ...
After 20 years of “transitioning”, what percentage of Australia’s total energy demand do you reckon comes from fossil fuels and how much from wind, solar, hydropower and the egregiously named biofuels? Primary energy is the best measure of how an economy actually runs because it counts all the fuels that power it, not just electricity generation. That matters because the things that keep the real economy moving, such as transport, mining and agriculture, run overwhelmingly on liquid fuels. We do not have to guess at the numbers because they are reported by the government in Australian Energy Statistics under energy consumption. “Fossil fuels (coal, oil and gas) accounted for 91 per cent of Australia’s primary energy mix in 2023-24,” the government website says. “Oil accounted for the largest share of Australia’s primary energy mix in 2023-24 at 41 per cent, followed by coal and gas both at 25 per cent. Renewable energy sources accounted for 9 per cent.” To put this in perspective, the global primary energy mix is about 82 per cent fossil fuel dependent. So even by the hydrocarbon-guzzling standards of the world, Australia is unusually gluttonous and nowhere more so than in transport.
Oh yes, it's all going splendidly well, helped along by an entirely meaningless decimation of Iranian schoolgirls, Global oil storage, a stark reminder of the world’s 82 per cent reliance on fossil fuels for its primary energy mix. Picture: Getty
There's nothing like oils to get Sol and the Ughmann excited ...
This is because we live in a huge, geographically dispersed nation where most of our goods travel by road. This point was underscored in the final report of the 2020 Liquid Fuel Security Review. “Liquid fuel is the backbone of the Australian economy,” the report says. “It underpins every aspect of our daily life, from our groceries to our commute to work and our emergency services. On average, each Australian uses nearly three times more energy from liquid fuel than they do from electricity.” Given our heavy dependence on liquid fuel, and recognising that we live on an island, how much of our own oil do we produce and refine?
Forget EVs, remember to keep on trucking, .Liquid fuel, transported across vast distances by road trains like this, is the backbone of Australia’s economy, making the nation unusually dependent on hydrocarbons for transport. Picture: News Corp
On the Ughmann drove, deeper into the important business of f*cking the planet (*google bot aware):
“Over the past two decades, our overall domestic production and reserves have been in decline,” the fuel security report says. “In today’s market, Australia imports over 90 per cent of the refined products and crude oil we need to meet our demand.” About 80 per cent of the diesel, petrol and jet fuel here comes from refineries in Singapore and South Korea. Only about 20 per cent is produced at the country’s two remaining refineries in Brisbane and Geelong, and they rely largely on imported crude. It all arrives in a steady stream of about two tanker deliveries a day under long-term contracts, with prices typically benchmarked to the Singapore fuel market. For now those supply chains are working. The pressure here has come from a surge in demand as bulk buyers, particularly in industries that depend on diesel, move to secure fuel. Major suppliers are prioritising contracted customers, but some independent wholesalers that relied heavily on the spot market have struggled as cargoes dried up. The deeper risk is the reliance the Asian refineries have on Middle Eastern crude. If the source of oil fails or foreign governments prioritise domestic markets, existing contracts could be revoked. Some energy traders and refiners supplying other countries have already declared force majeure, the contractual clause that allows them to suspend deliveries when extraordinary events make them impossible. Australia is profoundly exposed. Decisions made in other nations will determine our fate because we have deliberately chosen to become an energy vassal. Repeating the point that we live on an island, and these risks are obvious, surely we stockpile fuel? We do and the numbers are reported in the government’s minimum stockholding obligations. The last readout says we have 36 days’ worth of petrol, 32 of diesel and 29 days of jet fuel. This is a vanishingly small amount in reserve. The world is now being reminded that the International Energy Agency was created after the oil shock of 1973 and its primary task was to build a buffer against supply disruptions. Australia is one of the IEA member states that signed an agreement that required each to hold oil stocks equivalent to at least 90 days of net imports. Australia has been in breach of this agreement since 2012. This column has been banging on about this, in several venues, since 2016, clearly with no effect. All political parties are responsible for where we find ourselves today. The stockpile system was designed to cushion the world against sudden supply disruptions by releasing oil into the market during a crisis. Stabilising supply also helps prevent the kind of price spikes that can tip the global economy into recession. That is why there will now be a co-ordinated release of fuel from the member countries.
Of course it might have been simpler for the demented narcissist intent on distracting from the Trumpstein files not to have taken his frustrations out on Iranian schoolgirls, but what a chance for the Ughmann ... As fuel supplies are choked, the pain of inflation extends beyond the bowser, impacting the price of every item on supermarket shelves, driven by the cost of road freight. Picture: Getty
And so to the final gobbet ...
Proper energy security is a deeper problem and one no Australian government has ever been serious about tackling. We might get lucky this time, but one day our luck will run out. You do not need much imagination to conjure a scenario where our fuel lifeline of supplies from Asian refineries is cut. That trade comes through the South China Sea. What do we imagine will happen to those supply lines if there is ever a war over Taiwan? The longer the world’s supply of fuel is choked, the more the pain will grow. It will be measured here in inflation, not just in fuel prices but in every piece of road freight. All we can do is hope that The Gulf war ends soon and that this crisis is enough to spark some real change in our leaders’ approach to energy security. Right now, depending on the day, the price of oil and gas rises and falls on the musings about the war made by the American President. Stung by the domestic price rises, Donald Trump has said he will call the conflict to an end soonish. Interesting that he believes he can turn wars on and off and that those he attacks have no say in the matter. What if the survivors of the Iranian regime have no interest in shouldering arms? The end of the despotic medieval mullahs’ tyranny over its citizens is devoutly to be wished, but it seems unlikely. And while Trump’s war aims meander, the Iranian regime has one crystal-clear goal: survival. The hangman’s noose tends to concentrate the mind. If the only way Iran’s mullahs can inflict real pain on the US and the rest of the West is to push the globe into a recession, that is what they will do. They can also focus all of their effort on a strait that lies just off their coast and is only about 33km wide at its narrowest point, with tanker traffic confined to shipping lanes about 3km wide in each direction. They do not even have to sink ships. The trade stopped when war risk insurance disappeared and tanker owners refused to sail. Trump says the US will underwrite insurance and lead convoys with warships. If form is any guide that service will not come cheap. It is also doubtful he will want any Australian sailors on board.
To be fair, the pond should note that the Ughmann also had his followers...
Ah, the hive mind, free to those who want to abandon all hope for the entire weekend.
Have at it, and to celebrate the pond will offer a few add-on attractions not to be found in the hive mind, a sampling of 'toons, including TT ...
And just to prove the pond can also do AV distractions, a little viewing ...
