The pond handed out so many red cards today that it was in the strange position of not being able to field a team of reptiles.
First there was a red card for the top of the digital edition's coverage, featuring the usual errors and deliberate omissions - no mention of the perilous situation in Ukraine, and only a token nod to the (attempted) assassination of a Putin man ...
Then there was a general red card for all the reptiles still blathering on about the budget, and that took care of petulant Peta ... and simplistic "here no conflict of interest" Simon as well, and there was a very large red card for the liar from the Shire, simpering at being snapped with his orange Jesus...
Down below there were more red cards to be handed out like early Xmas treats ...
Why does the Labor party keep on supporting the Chairman Emeritus's paywall? Who knows, but it's always an automatic red card, and so farewell to thee, Albo.
As for Jack the Insider, he managed to make his piffle about RFK (what happened to the Jnr?) something to do with the hippies, and made the bold prediction that the loon wouldn't actually win. For that the pond should have wasted precious minutes of its time on a warming planet?
In short, the reptiles had missed out, in the usual way, just about anything and everything of interest to the pond.
If the pond wanted budget coverage, it would have turned to the 'toons...
The pond always enjoys a riff on Alice in Wonderland, and then there was the infallible Pope ...
By golly, the pond was hoping to use ReliefMan, only to be shattered by that attached ®.
The pond supposes if it's going to do a page about nothing, it should start with a whiz yarn about freedumb ...which is to say the freedumb to be right up yourself ...
The pond loved the portrait - somehow it seemed to catch the essence - and naturally there was a 'toon to go with it ...
Speaking of freedumb, if you read just the top page of the reptile digital edition, you would have missed the news that Cumberland council reversed its ban, despite the best efforts of the homophobes ... in fact you'd have missed the entire storm in a Cumberland council tea cup (not to mention all the mugs) ...
There was much chanting and derogatory slurs and while surveying the coverage the pond was appalled to come across one slur: "pee off back to Newtown."
What to say about the decline in the use of the English language? One never pees off, one pisses off ...
Fortunately in general coverage it was clear that this had just been an attempt to soften the homophobia, and dinkum English had been deployed, as in "piss off back to Newtown" and better yet, "fuck off back to Newtown", and truth to tell, the pond never left, because it fears the dragons that lurk in the outer west, not to mention the bigots, the homophobes and the barking mad fundamentalist Xians and Islamics ...
Yet in all the parochial fun, there went another chance for the reptiles to fight for freedumb ...
Talk about doing the old ostrich head in the sand routine... it seems, as the pond has observed before, that there's freedumb for some in reptile la la land, but not for others...
But then the pond was left wondering what to do with the rest of the day's empty spac.
The pond could have launched on an explanation of why it loved the Graudian so ...
There's always Marina Hyde, yesterday giving Bear and born-again Rusty a grilling and opening with a great riff ...
So Russell Brand was baptised in the Thames, and all his sins were washed away. Cheaper than a lawyer, I suppose
A hazmat dredger, please, to the stretch of the River Thames in which Russell Brand was recently baptised, in an event apparently conducted by TV adventurer and chief scout Bear Grylls. I know, it’s incredible: Thames Water is no longer responsible for the biggest piece of shit in the river.
And there's always a cracking Crace on PMQs, which means the pond doesn't have to bother watching.
And then there are what pass for bon mots. Where else could you be reading a summary of the trial of the century (thus far) and end up with this?
Blanche will resume his cross-examination of Blanche on Thursday. He told the court that he expects his cross will take all day.
Well sure, if he stays cross with himself, he could be there all year. (How do defence lawyers live with themselves knowing their client is as guilty as hell? Do they have a special perfume they spray on at night to absolve themselves of their sins? The pond supposes it worked in the matter of OJ and many other matters, so never mind, lying for a living is a sublime kind of profession, almost as honourable as politics).
Of course the spoilsports at the Graudian later amended the wording, and replaced the second Blanche with Cohen, but the pond was there when it happened.
And there's always fun to be found elsewhere.
The pond did enjoy Nell Scovell's piece in the Beast, The Ivy League Hypocrites Who Want to Be Trump's MAGA VP, featuring all the toadies doing a creepy crawly impression of SloMo, or more to the point the acolytes that adored Adolf as a way to power and riches.
The link's outside the paywall, so the pond doesn't have to quote it at length ... and so JD can serve as a sample ...
Sen. James David (J.D.) Vance (R-OH) received his undergraduate degree from the unpretentious Ohio State University, but later J.D. earned a J.D. from Yale, where he served as editor of the Yale Law Journal. As a law student, Vance was encouraged by memoirist Amy Chua to write his own memoir—and his Hillbilly Elegy wound up at #1 on the ultra-elitist New York Times bestseller list.
J.D. Vance Casually Forgets Trump Dined With Antisemites (possible paywall)
Vance’s wife—the would-be second lady of the United States—has credentials that are equally impressive. Usha Chilukuri Vance has a Philosophy degree from Cambridge University and a J.D. from Yale Law School. In 2016, her husband said, “Elites use different words, eat different foods, listen to different music—I was astonished when I learned that people listened to classical music for pleasure…” This must have made for awkward dinner conversation, as Usha is currently a board member of the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra.
Splendid stuff and Scovell dishes out her humbug awards to a lot of other desperate flunkies easy to kiss the orange Jesus's bum.
There's a 'toon to go with all the simpering toadies, all 'leet, all hypocrites, all ready to tell the big lie ...
The pond supposes it should try to get serious and note one story, with the Graudian featuring Israel war cabinet split looms as defence minister demands post-war Gaza plan.
It reminded the pond of a column by Eugene Robinson in WaPo, How is any of this making Israel more secure? Netanyahu is creating a state of total anarchy with his country’s war against Gaza. (sorry, paywall).
In part:
...The Biden administration has been frustrated all along by Netanyahu’s refusal to engage on the obvious question of what happens in Gaza after the war ends. There will be more than 2 million people living in a crowded strip of land where most of the infrastructure has been destroyed. Neighboring Arab nations such as Egypt, Jordan and Saudi Arabia — which detest and fear Hamas and its sponsors, the mullahs in Iran, as much as Israel does — might be enlisted to help in a rebuilding effort led by the Palestinian Authority, which holds office in the West Bank. But that would require a renewed Israeli commitment to the ultimate goal of a two-state solution.
If Netanyahu were to make such a commitment, the far-right elements of his coalition would balk and his government would surely fall. I see why many Israelis might not want to hold an election in the middle of a war. But I also see how prolonging the war, and failing to prepare for its aftermath, is in Netanyahu’s political interest. It is in his personal interest, too, as his trial on corruption charges would resume if he left office.
Meanwhile, more than 34,000 Palestinians have been killed, according to figures from the Hamas-controlled Ministry of Health, and the United Nations estimates that 1.7 million Gazans have been displaced. More than 130 hostages, including five Americans, remain unaccounted for. Most are believed still held by Hamas, perhaps in the Rafah area; some are presumably dead.
Rafah is near Gaza’s border with Egypt, which has had a peace treaty with Israel since 1979. On Sunday, the Egyptian government announced it will join the complaint filed by South Africa at the International Court of Justice accusing Israel of genocide. That followed a largely symbolic but overwhelming vote Friday by the U.N. General Assembly to admit a not-yet-extant Palestine as a full member.
It is true that a duly constituted Palestinian state in Gaza would pose a security problem for Israel. But what Netanyahu is creating instead — a state of total anarchy — is guaranteed to be much, much worse.
And so to a local who dared to stick head above parapet, and so likely will become a subject for ritual abuse by the reptiles in the next few days ...
Why the square quotes around 'genocide'?
It goes without saying that as a dedicated atheist, the pond has little in common with the good Senator, but does understand the English languarge, and genocide seems clear enough.
The pond was flicking through the NYRB the other day, and came across Aryeh Neier asking the question Is Israel Committing Genocide? (sorry, likely paywall)
Neier is described as President Emeritus of the Open Society Foundations. His most recent book is The International Human Rights Movement: A History. (February 2018).
Neier went through an elaborate dance about how he supported Israel's right to defend itself and noted the Black Knight follies of Hamas, and his style was of the self-important kind, in the manner of a portentous "Ned" ... but he did cut to the chase:
..Hamas’s operatives do not wear uniforms, and they have no visible military bases. Hamas has embedded itself in the civilian population of Gaza, and its extensive network of tunnels provides its combatants the ability to move around quickly. Even if Israel’s bombers were intent on minimizing harm to civilians, they would have had difficulty doing so in their effort to destroy Hamas.
And yet, even believing this, I am now persuaded that Israel is engaged in genocide against Palestinians in Gaza. What has changed my mind is its sustained policy of obstructing the movement of humanitarian assistance into the territory.
As early as October 9 top Israeli officials declared that they intended to block the delivery of food, water, and electricity, which is essential for purifying water and cooking. Defense Minister Yoav Gallant’s words have become infamous: “I have ordered a complete siege on the Gaza Strip. There will be no electricity, no food, no fuel, everything is closed. We are fighting human animals and we act accordingly.” The statement conveyed the view that has seemed to guide Israel’s approach throughout the conflict: that Gazans are collectively complicit for Hamas’s crimes on October 7.
Since then Israel has restricted the number of vehicles allowed to enter Gaza, reduced the number of entry points, and conducted time-consuming and onerous inspections; destroyed farms and greenhouses; limited the delivery of fuel needed for the transport of food and water within the enclave; killed more than two hundred Palestinian aid workers, many of them employees of the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA), the principal aid provider in the blockaded territory before October 7; and persuaded many donors, including the United States, to stop funding UNRWA by claiming that a dozen of the agency’s 13,000 employees in Gaza were involved in the October 7 attack or have other connections to Hamas. (An investigation by former French foreign minister Catherine Colonna, released on April 22, concluded that Israel had provided no evidence to support its allegations and that UNRWA is “irreplaceable and indispensable.”) The air strikes on April 1 that destroyed all three vehicles in a World Central Kitchen convoy, killing six international aid workers and a Palestinian driver and translator, seemed a continuation of these policies. Israel’s explanation that this was the result of a “misidentification” has aroused skepticism. As a result, other humanitarian groups may be deterred from providing aid.
The cumulative effect of these measures is that many Palestinians—especially young children—are starving. In April the Gaza Health Ministry reported that twenty-eight children have died of starvation. That number could multiply many times over if reports on food insecurity are valid. On April 10 USAID Administrator Samantha Power answered “yes” when asked, at a House Foreign Affairs Committee hearing, whether famine is already occurring in Gaza. On May 3 Cindy McCain, executive director of the World Food Program, stated on NBC News that there is a “full-blown famine in northern Gaza.” Deaths from famine are only a fraction of the total fatalities reported by the ministry. As of this writing, 34,904 Palestinians have been killed, including at least 14,685 children and 9,670 women, and another 78,514 have been injured. Though some Israelis dispute these figures, they are in truth probably an undercount because they do not include those buried under the rubble.
Many of those who survive malnutrition will suffer long-term consequences such as increased susceptibility to illnesses and psychological damage. In Gaza’s north, UNICEF found in February that malnutrition among children under five had nearly doubled in a month. The obstruction of humanitarian assistance is unlikely to affect Hamas combatants directly. Even in conditions of famine, men with guns find a way to get fed. It is those who bear no responsibility for Hamas’s crimes who are suffering most.
All access to the territory is controlled by the Israel Defense Forces, which have denied entry to Israeli and Palestinian human rights organizations and to international organizations like HRW and Amnesty International. Limiting the ability of these organizations to gather information and make detailed reports on the conflict hardly insulates Israel from criticism for its abuses...
Well yes, it is a form of genocide, and how pleasing it is to see a local politician say it ...
Naturally there was a big snap to terrify the demographic ...
... and naturally the reptiles rolled out the neighsayers ...
Meanwhile, in a country far removed from the Jewish lobby and Birmingham, back to the Graudian story ...
Gallant’s comments come after months of tension between the two men and recent reports in the Hebrew media that senior IDF officers had become concerned that the lack of an alternative to Hamas was forcing the IDF to return and fight in areas where they claimed Hamas had already been defeated, including northern Gaza, which has seen heavy fighting this week.
“As early as October 7, the military establishment said that it was necessary to work towards finding an alternative to Hamas,” Gallant said, adding, “the end of the military campaign is a political decision. The day after Hamas will only be achieved by actors who replace Hamas. This is first and foremost an Israeli interest.”
Gallant said that military planning “was not raised for a discussion, and worse, no alternative was brought in its place. A military-civilian regime in Gaza is a bad and dangerous alternative for the state of Israel.
“I will not agree to the establishment of a military government in Gaza,” he said, adding a “civilian-military regime in Gaza will become the main effort in there and come at the expense of other arenas. We will pay for it in blood and victims – and it will come at a heavy economic cost.”
The comments by Gallant appeared to be the culmination of growing frustration with Netanyahu among Israel’s military leadership.
Gallant added he would not support a controversial plan for compulsory enlistment of ultra-Orthodox Jews, appearing to throw down a direct challenge to Netanyahu to fire him.
Replying to Gallant, Netanyahu once again ruled out a Palestinian administration in Gaza while Hamas still exists, adding that Hamas’s destruction must be pursued “without excuses”.
Netanyahu said: “After the terrible massacre, I ordered the destruction of Hamas. IDF fighters and the security forces are fighting for this. As long as Hamas remains, no other actor will run Gaza – certainly not the Palestinian Authority.”
Ben-Gvir and the communications minister, Shlomo Karhi, quickly called for Gallant to be fired from his position.
“Such a defence minister must be replaced in order to achieve the war’s goals,” said Ben-Gvir, adding: “From [Gallant’s] point of view, there is no difference between whether Gaza will be controlled by Israeli soldiers or whether Hamas murderers control it. This is the essence of the defence minister’s conception, which failed on October 7 and continues to fail even now.”
Netanyahu will be acutely aware of the huge political risks of firing Gallant for a second time after his previous forced climbdown.
But enough of the genocide and the arguments about Israel being a land from the river to the sea, and maybe Jordan too, because the pond must offer another reading, this time to prove its ongoing atheist credentials.
The pond was helped in this by Tiya Miles' piece in the NYRB, How Bondage Built the Church ... (sorry, paywall).
A sample of this book review ...
The 272 begins where it should, with the descendants of the enslaved. The first words of the book are a living descendant’s name: Jeremy Alexander. A devout Catholic and an employee at Georgetown University, Alexander learned through DNA testing in 2016 that his ancestors had been owned by Jesuit priests in Maryland. They, along with hundreds of other women, men, and children, had been part of a mass sale in 1838, a move by Maryland Jesuits, with the approval of church leaders in Rome, to stabilize the university’s mismanaged finances.
Swarns first wrote an account of the Jesuit slave sale for The New York Times in 2016. Her article, “272 Slaves Were Sold to Save Georgetown. What Does It Owe Their Descendants?,” was widely read and received an electric reaction. In her book she expands on that reporting to explain that “for more than a century, the American Catholic Church relied on the buying, selling, and enslavement of Black people to lay its foundations, support its clergy, and drive its expansion.” Her argument is that “without the enslaved, the Catholic Church in the United States, as we know it today, would not exist.”
English Catholics came to Maryland in 1634, fleeing political persecution and seeking a place where they could practice their faith freely even as they evangelized to Native Americans and settlers. Their sponsor was Cecil Calvert, Lord Baltimore, who, as proprietor of the colony, encouraged Catholic settlement and reserved more than 20,000 acres for the Jesuits. Like other Marylanders with land and privilege, Jesuits participated in plantation slavery from the early 1700s. Their embrace of the practice might partly be ascribed to religious discrimination that included a tax on the importation of indentured Irish Catholic servants. Jesuits acquired slaves through inheritance and purchase and compelled these captives to practice Catholicism.
After the Revolutionary War and ratification of a Constitution that promised religious freedom in the young United States, Catholic leaders set their sights on developing lasting institutions, especially a place of higher learning. In 1789 Father John Carroll, who would soon become the first Catholic bishop in the US, purchased land for the site of Georgetown College. By this time Jesuits in Maryland were heavily invested in plantation land and enslaved Black labor. When Catholic leaders in Rome decided against funding the new college, Swarns explains, Carroll knew that most of the financing “would have to come from the priests’ plantations and the labor of their enslaved workers.” There was also discussion about “the need to cull the stock of surplus—‘supernumerary’—human beings.”
Just over a year later, Swarns writes, enslaved people on at least one of these plantations, the Bohemia estate, “began to vanish”:
Nell and her son, Perry, were sold for $4 in July 1790. That same month, the priest who ran the plantation received about £22 in partial payment for the sale of an enslaved woman named Esther. Sarah and Jerry, described as “a Negro girl” and “a negro boy” in the plantation’s financial records, disappeared in January 1791, sold for £50. By March 1792, four more people were gone, handed over in exchange for a horse, blacksmith tools, and £112.
More than two dozen people from the estate were sold. As Swarns notes, these early sales were “a harbinger of what was to come.”
With the tykes, it's always a harbinger of things to come ... such as the Catholic Boys' Daily, pretty much oblivious to everything beyond their navels...
And so to end on a light note.
The pond couldn't help but enjoy being compared to a ferret, and it reminded the pond of long lost times ...
There's actually a good 2015 PhD thesis by David Olds, Rediscovering Nation Review: An independent media voice in Australian political and cultural affairs, from 1970 to 1980. (direct pdf download).
Much is made of the ferret ...
These days news tips, links and correspondence should be sent to the pond, always welcome, and by today or tomorrow please.
And it's also a reminder that all things must pass ... so long ago, and yet it still feels like yesterday ...
And so this day's outing about nothing, except perhaps genocide, must also pass, with the promise that no matter what the hole in the bucket man scribbles about tomorrow, the pond will return to its herpetology studies, even if it features the budget, and the pond has used up all its budget 'toons in a final flurry of fiscal madness ...
