In which the pond outdoes Mr Whopper's crosswords with a mega-dose of reptile stew ...

In honour of the Devine having gone on holydays at the same time as the Donald, the pond has only one post in it this day of rest ... 

But if She has gone on holydays, at least Father Akker Dakker and the Holy Ghost, petulant Peta, remain on duty, and so it will be a long post, with much suffering, and many falling by the wayside ...

Yes, it's the same old, same old, but before proceeding with the sameness and beginning the torture of the ultra marathon, a note on the way the departing Laurie Oakes tried to introduce a hint of sanity into reptile proceedings yesterday ...

Now all this is as fine as far as it goes ... it's certainly not as weird or as dumb or as weird as Peter Hartcher, explaining in Fairfax why the pond never bothers to read or reference Fairfax rags any more, as he attempted to argue why a voluntary postal vote would be a jolly good idea ...

The plebiscite would inevitably endorse same-sex marriage?

Sure, and Donald Trump will never be President ...

It doesn't matter a hoot what happens, provided the politics is well-played?

Sure, and that's how we'll sort out the treatment of refugees ...

There's a sucker born every minute, though it's probably defamatory of suckers to put them in the same category as the profoundly cynical and remarkably stupid Hartcher ...

And then, after a suitable cartoon, the departing Oakes had the temerity to blame the current pickle on the hard right ...

Yes, it almost makes the pond wonder why the onion-muncher is so obsessed. Is there a Dr. Freud in the house?

Well he was, but he's retiring, leaving the field for the likes of Akker Dakker and petulant Peta ... and she at least, can claim direct credit for the current debacle. 

In any reasonable world, she would declare she's conflicted and retire to lick her wounds, but not in the strange world of reptile la la land ...

It will be noted how Freedom Boy - once a favoured pet at lizard Oz reptile HQ - is now something of a whipping boy ... but he doesn't hold a candle to the hate offered up to the poodle.

The visceral fear and loathing of the onion muncher and his minions for the treacherous poodle is something to see ...

Oh dear, the old mandate and party platform routine. Yes, the pond knows that routine very well ...

Ah, and so well and faithfully executed by petulant Peta,  given such a clear and honest platform (oh, and what a handsome snap to go along with it). 

Why on earth didn't the pond understand? 

And now, because the pond can never get enough of stupidity, it's back to berating the poodle and all the other wets ...

By this time, the pond was retreating to a numb silence. If there are more pressing concerns, why not just do it and get it out of the way?

Instead the pond got distracted from petulant Peta by a wag with a Freudian inclination in the comments section:

And now before getting to Akker Dakker - there's only so much hate, bile, homophobia, fear and loathing to be absorbed in one sitting - the pond always suggests moderation - how about this from our Gracie?

Yes. our Gracie also felt the need to chip in on the issue which, thanks to the likes of the onion muncher and petulant Peta, is tearing the party apart.

Shockingly, outrageously, our Gracie admits to sipping a crisp white wine. 

Presumably the 'crisp' means it wasn't a chardonnay, more like a riesling, but still the thought crime involved was almost unimaginable. Could our Gracie secretly, furtively, be one of the devious cosmopolitan elites, and display a cosmopolitan bias? 

Churlish in the extreme? Akker Dakker, petulant Peta, the onion muncher and sundry others churlish in the extreme?

The pond almost spilled its early morning glass of chaste orange juice ...

A mean and tricky move?

Well speaking of mean and tricky, it was at last time to get to always reliable Akker Dakker ...

If anyone wants a churl, give Akker Dakker a hoy and a hurl ...

Now that stereotypical snap of the cake - designed to evoke fear, loathing and a sense of strangeness and the world upturned in Akker Dakker readers - didn't really quite fit, seeing as Akker Dakker had started out on a discussion of foreign relations ...

But as always with the discursive Akker Dakker, we'll get there eventually. though not before having a ritual shot at the ABC and such like ...

Indeed, indeed, and it was perhaps strange on the pond's part to wonder if the reptiles had arranged that snap so it would match up to the earlier pic ...

Never mind, such a lovely couple, and have another cartoon, because finally, we're almost there, and can wallow in the fear and the loathing and the patented, distilled, pure Akker Dakker bile ...

And so to the bigotry and the distilled essence of homophobia, done in with the kind of flourish that only Akker Dakker can deliver...

Oh what a jolly bloated bigot he is, and how witty and humorous too with his talk of fads and fashions and alphabets... and his preening hoppy toad look of pompous self-regard ...

And look, there's Freedom Boy, again shown holding up the lizard Oz, as if that provides some kind of answer, some kind of hope ...

It takes some sort of chutzpah to talk of fads and fashions, as if Plato had never devised the ladder of love so long ago in Greece, but that's Akker Dakker for you ...

Some might want to argue ... here... but all the pond has done this day is add to the abuse suffered daily by people of diverse sexual orientation ...

On the upside, the pond is mulling over a new business opportunity.

If the Donald's tweets are now being recycled in the dunny, the pond has a treasure trove of gobbets of reptile nastiness stored away, of the kind designed to get anyone's bowels moving ...

Just a thought ...