in which the pond checks out a herpetarium in turmoil and a Paterson in the wrong part of town ...

Forget the tea leaves, the chicken's entrails, the runes, the Tarot cards or any of the other fortune-telling devices that were a proud part of the pond's family traditions... (oh the superstitious peasant German grandma could read tea leaves at the bottom of any cup).

There's the smell of an election in the air. The reptiles are in a state of panic, and there's much excitement in the tree-killer herpetarium, but also in the digital version ...

All the barrels of the majestic dreadnought have been turned on Comrade Bill ... and sssh, don't ask how many lawyers and think tank bludgers there are in the coalition ...

Meanwhile, tucked down the page, the cawing Crowe reports on the government moving full-steam ahead ...

That shuffle isn't the only thing in limbo, which is why the reptiles have got the fear ...

Now sadly the pond can't cover all the things that worry and torture the reptiles each day ...

There's the High Court matter which has seen them all limbo down ...

There's gay panic, thanks to the reliable 'Becca, always on the case ...

Fancy that. Should the pond be alarmed that the lizards of Oz routinely ran a column by the late, unlamented Christopher Pearson, who routinely boasted about having schoolboy sex with an SA judge?

Never mind, there were other panics to be found, none more threatening than devious, deviant, anti-dinkum councils ...

And that wasn't the only culture war ...

Now as a former historian, the pond falls into the category of preserving history, if only for the teaching moments.

For example, if anyone encounters a plaque unveiled by Gra Gra, the pond suggests that it be accompanied by an interpretive plaque ... one that makes sure to mention that he was happy to take cash from criminals - whatever it takes - and got up to quite a bit of mischief on the Gold Coast. If a symbol is required, why not a baseball bat crossed with a cricket bat, provided they're carved out of granite or have a bronze-age heft to them ...

Similarly anyone wanting an interpretive plaque next to Little Johnny should make sure it mentions his proud history as a major war criminal and minor deputy sheriff ...

You see? These symbols of the past can be turned to good teaching moments ... not that observing history has in the past been any use at all in changing or modifying behaviour in the present ....

But the pond had to put all these things aside, because in view of the current very expensive survey rolling out across the land, James Paterson had some saucy doubts and fears to raise.

First apropos of all those reptile fears and alarums, please allow the pond to present the short wiki on Paterson's work experience before being dragooned into the Senate ...

Keen Greg Hunters can head here for the footnotes and links, but what a wealth of small business experience that encompasses ...

As for the raising of the saucy doubts and fears, this is best done while purporting to support SSM. 

It's always piquant to see a member of the government, which could have done something about the matters raised, adopt a form of political schizophrenia which excuses the government from not having done anything (in much the same way as Morning Joe marvelled at the way that the Donald could turn from calls of unity to raging divisive beast to calls for unity, and think watchers wouldn't question their, or his, sanity)...

You know, in a perfect world, there would be no need for a complete goose of a Senator to turn to writing a column for the reptiles of Oz, and to stick it behind a paywall in support of their business model, while ostensibly discussing a matter of policy which should be of interest to, and freely accessible by, all Australians ...though no doubt the reptiles would suggest he's just doing it to get small business experience. (Well with their subscription list, the lizard Oz can't be called a big business, so much as a boutique exercise for a Chairman seeking lobbying power).

If Paterson had wanted to erode anti-discrimination laws and enshrine the rights of bigots to be bigoted, why didn't he conduct a crusade in the place that matters, which is to say the parliament in which he is currently enrolled?

The point, the pond suspects, is actually to raise saucy doubts and fears, while purporting to support a positive outcome for the most expensive and useless survey in Australian political history, one which as a result of the government's actions - Paterson's government - can't even call itself a voluntary plebiscite ...

A birthday cake?

He's trotting out a birthday cake v. a bloody wedding cake?

And he's using that to have a go at Tasmania and 18C, though without the guts or the spine to reveal what he's actually proposing ...just some motherhood statement about protecting freedom of speech.

And he thinks this sort of pedantic semanticism about cakes constitutes some sort of debating point?

And that nobody will notice that the government could have sorted out this long before they voted on the most useless and expensive survey in Australian political history, and the whole matter could have been done and dusted and sorted, if the politicians and in particular the government had done its bloody job, instead of fudging, dilly dallying, shilly shallying and obfuscating ...

Well we've been there before with this sort of crap about cakes ...

Sadly the pond knows which part of town it's in, a genuine mecca for real small businesses with goods to sell. The same part of town which Paterson and Malware visit regularly to gain their small business experience ...