The pond realised it had been a long time - too long - since it'd quoted a little genuine surrealism, as opposed to the reptile surrealism on daily parade, if only to explain why it had embarked on a lunchtime portmanteau of reptilian works ...
It means sensible folk can just skip to reading Carroll's Through the Looking Glass here, thanks to the good folk at the Uni of Adelaide, leaving only the most pain-addicted masochists to carry on ...
It's safe to say that once anyone has heard Miranda the Devine outgribing, somewhere between a bitching and a bellowing, they'll be quite content, or quite uncontent, or in a state of discontent, but one way or another they'll know they're far from mome, and have lost their way ...
Yes, it's saucy doubts and fears day at reptile bunker HQ, and who better to lead off than the bilious Devine, gyring and gimbling in her inimitable corkscrew way ...
Ah the poor suffering persecuted Xians. The pond almost wept at the suffering. Damn it, and all they want to do is consign gays to hellfire for all eternity, and perhaps help them on their way ...
What fun, what persecution the camel, sheep and goat herders devised, with more at the Skeptics' Bible here ...
But the pond can already sense that stuffing this port (that's what we call them up Tamworth way) is going to get harder by the minute, so it's on with more of the Devine ...
Now here the pond should pause to note that the reptiles decided to illustrate this point with a photo of the demonic one ...
But we can all recognise a doofus at ten paces, and so scaled the scaly one down so we could get on with the Devine still outgribing away ... because we can never get enough of Xian suffering ...
Ah, the old blank cheque, and Vicki in the comments section knew exactly what that meant ...
Dogs not just humping legs, but humping children ... where would it all end? Would cats lie down with dogs? Would the loon who wanders King street with a ferret want to marry the feral ferret?
And now, for those hardy souls who feel up to it, as a reward for making it this far, splash on a little essence of the Devine ...
Feeling nicely slithy and slimey and vitriolic?
Well it's time to join the Canavan caravan, enjoined as an honorary reptile this day ...
Now in polite company, the pond would probably say that it thinks the Canavan is a right royal doofus ... but this is a free-ranging blog, so it can call Canavan, in the most genial and respectful way possible, a right royal twit and epic fuckwit ...
Right from the get go, there's nothing to discuss. Marriage isn't always about the children, some marriages don't involve children at all ...
There's nothing in most marriage vows (link for Greg Hunters) that mentions children ... and to suggest otherwise is to do dirt on those people who have married and for one reason or another (choice or circumstance) don't have children ...
To invoke the Lovejoy defence in this context is not just pathetic, it's insulting ...
Is there anything more irritating than a fuckwit attempting a history lesson, when his real point is pure Lovejoy?
What's even more weird and perverted is that the Canavan reckons that it's all about deadbeat dads, in which case what a fucked up and failed institution and idea marriage is ...and then the loon, in epic agrarian socialist manage gets to talking about horse studs.
You can't - well the pond certainly couldn't - make this sort of myopic shit up ...
How about 'all you need is hate', in lower case, for dimwitted, fuckwitted Queensland senators, always willing to dress up homophobia and bigotry with dissembling arguments ... as if there's something wrong with love ...
It's possible to imagine Christ's reaction to that sniggering snide Canavan line about "all you need is love" ...
Why is it that the pond always has to go Christian on these noisy, useless Xians?
But enough of that clanging, noisy, profoundly irritating doofus cymbal, because there's one final member of the band needing attention this day ...
But enough of that clanging, noisy, profoundly irritating doofus cymbal, because there's one final member of the band needing attention this day ...
As a result of the last great modem crisis - the next is shortly to come in the form of the copper-clad NBN - the pond missed Dame Slap's last outing.
In her absence, and with the Charlottesville crisis at its peak, the pond began a fantasy about degrees of separation.
You see, there's Steve Bannon at one with the white supremacists and nationalists and KKKers and neo-Nazis, and there was the Donald on board with Steve until he wasn't, but still on board with the nice guys who walked the Tiki-lit streets with Nazi symbols and flags, chanting anti-Semitic slogans ...
And there was Dame Slap, donning her Donald cap, and so surely no more than one degree of separation from the neo-Nazis ...
Bear with the pond on this one as we begin our Dame Slap reading for the day ...
Now for those who've heard all this sort of stuff before ... children must be children, at least until my child takes a fall in the park and I can sue the shit out of the local council - didn't Dame Slap once qualify at law and work as a commercial solicitor at Freehills, home to the worst of the breed? (the pond speaks from personal experience) ... can the pond just revert to that other bit of speculation?
You know, Charlottesville, the MAGA camp, the Donald, the neo-Nazis and the whole damned thing...
Uh huh ... and so to Charlottesville with the proper gear to hand ...
Oh okay, if Godwin hadn't given his personal permission to the world, the pond might not be so cheeky, but then all this Dame Slap jibber jabber about the children brings out the worst in the pond ...
You see, in its youth, the pond read Mein Kampf and copped a heap of this crap about children being strong and tough and never giving an inch, usually associated with the notion that the pond should worship at the shrine of the local Tamworthian boofhead thugby league boneheads ...
Carry it to its logical conclusion, and you end up with this ...
Or with Ayn Rand, at least until she ended up on government welfare, or Dame Slap wandering off into harden the fuck up, didn't we have a wonderful time as children la la land ...
Uh huh, so donning a Donald cap and heading off to Charlottesville or scaring your teenage daughter with Monckton's tall tales of a vast UN conspiracy to use climate science to introduce world government is the way to push kids in the right direction?
Eek, won't someone make the playground a little safer? For fear that someone will dash their brains out on the concrete, or on Dame Slap's words?
And now for those who made it through that epic portmanteau trek, there's a Pope, on topic as usual, with more papal insights here ...
Eek, won't someone make the playground a little safer? For fear that someone will dash their brains out on the concrete, or on Dame Slap's words?
And now for those who made it through that epic portmanteau trek, there's a Pope, on topic as usual, with more papal insights here ...
There's just nobody in the whole Murdochrat herpetarium to compare with Dame Slap, is there. From latchkey kid to latchkey mum, there's just never been anybody to compete with her.
ReplyDeleteBut, I would really, really like to know what answer she gave when her daughter asked: "And what are you doing to stop the UN takeover of world government, mum ?" Yep, I'd really like to know what Dame Slap did about that. Other than root Michael Kroger, that is. She wouldn't just have ignored that dastardly threat, would she ?
And as for Matthew Canavan, well ... surely Andrew Hastie has informed him, forcefully, that there never was any such thing as "cavemen" and that the human race has been following the commandments of Yahweh ever since "he" puffed us into existence and told us what "marriage" is.
Is it also something to do with his confusion about which country he belongs to?
DeleteI reckon that's not the only thing he's in 'confusion' about DP.
DeleteDame Slap: "Not only can't we let kids harm themselves and each other physically in the playground like we used to, but now we'll have to not let them harm themselves and each other emotionally. Where's tomorrow's generation of bigots going to come from, I ask you?"
ReplyDeleteSound thinking Mercurial. The pond hadn't understood where Dame Slap was driving, but now it makes perfect sense. Maintain the hate, maintain the rage, learn how to hurt and to harm, and you too could end up writing columns for the lizard Oz ...
Delete