In which the pond tries to help the Terrorists, but is forced to settle for the Caterists ...

Once again the Terrorists asked the pond to help fix things up and at first it seemed like a simple task. Follow a few basic rules, such as don't prod and poke at the grammar Nazis ...

Don't be needlessly repetitious and needlessly repeat things, and don't run silly hysterical stories of the pirate kind ...

Say what? There are people who rely on the NBN for technical advice? Really? Not just clueless, but completely clueless?

Is this the worst of the many NBN crimes arising from the Terrorist, lizard Oz, Murdochian, onion muncher and Malware reduction of it to a half-baked, half-arsed service? Aren't there more interesting angles, especially when your fellow reptiles at the lizard Oz are running richly comic stories ...

You see? Label as an EXCLUSIVE what's been as common as copper for some time ... and have a laugh at Foxtel pretending to be wired ...

But then the pond realised helping the Terror was an impossible task ... because there's no way to sort out peak stupid, and this day the Terror cranked the stupid way up past eleven ...

These pieces were so stupid even the pond blinked, and looked away, stepped back, felt thwarted or slapped down ...

Caroline Marcus, in a breathtaking display of silliness, manages to ignore an entire stream of American thinking and literature, of a realist and sci fi kind, frequently derived from thinking about women in America living under the patriarchy and/or fundamentalist Christianity and/or suburban repression of the Stepford Wives kind, and she thinks it's all to do with fundamentalist Islam. Now there's a total doofus,  go on, tell her Carrie ...

Ah yes, please, a paper on the Islamic influence on the school students in Carrie if you please, Ms Marcus...

And as for that idiot arm-breaker, it's a total tautology to talk of silly Latham ... though at least it does allow the pond to mention the funny stories doing the rounds this day in swamp and 'gator laden Washington, as led by the Washington Post.

Yes, as a distraction from the swamp, it's made in America week, so naturally the Post ran a story on the way many Trump products are made overseas to make use of cheap labour and manufacturing costs ...

Asked at Sunday's briefing whether “Made in America” week would include a commitment from the Trump Organization or Ivanka Trump's company to make more of their products in the United States, Ferre told reporters, “We'll get back to you on that.”

Or you could get the arm-breaker to scribble more bullshit and throw a little angel dust (sourced from China) in the eyes ...

The Post provided a link to its old 2016 fact checker yarn about the number of Trump products made in other countries ...

Okay, so the pond blew it. There's simply no way to help the Terror fix peak stupid, and the pond felt the same sense of thwarted, slapped down, pointless futility when it turned to the lizards of Oz ...

Sure there's a source of rich comedy at the ready this day ...

... but should rich comedy be turned into peak silly just for the sake of a gag?

The pond could think of worse options too, but thankfully uncle Joe and Beria and Himmler are all dead, though anytime's the right time for a revival of the Reichssicherheitsdienst  or the Reichssicherheitshauptamt ...

And so the pond had failed again, so was it any wonder that to make up the day's quota, it turned to the old reliable Caterists ...

It's always good to see climate denialists beavering away at energy policy, especially when it's an issue that's been kicked around the back paddock for years ...

2014? They were talking about it in 2014, which puts the story outside the AFR paywall here?

Never mind, the fast-thinking, agile, innovative Caterists are up to speed, and have their eye on the gam,e and are in like Flynn ...(remember Terrorists, no repetitions!)

Yes, there's nothing funnier than a climate denialist scribbling about energy policy - why do they even pretend an interest in reducing carbon emissions? - and it was even funnier when the pond accidentally clicked on another of those stories, this one at the ABC here back in March... which included, inter alia ...

It's not just about the money? Some of the silly geese are cackling about the land and preserving the potential for growing food for future generations? What a bunch of greenie pinko socialist preverts ...(careful of typos Terrorists).

Well we know what the Caterists will think of this sort of weirdo wacky zany greenie thinking ...

Uh huh. We fucked up, so it's time to let us fuck up again ...but this time we'll pay for it. 

Would you like to be just a poule or a poule de luxe? You know, so the AFL can drag your name through the media and ruin your reputation while sounding like righteous pricks ... and there's the idiot Marcus blathering on about fundamentalist Islamics when they've taken up residence at the AFL headquarters ...

Oh dear distracted again, just when the pond had the chance to propose an amiable, mutually satisfying solution, with a happy ending for all ...

Why not let farmers abandon the land entirely, turn it over to the production of gas, and for income they can adopt the Caterist solution ... a quick application to the Department of Finance and their futures are assured ... and with a bit of luck a few might even get a gig writing simple-minded tosh for the lizards of Oz ...

220k for a year? That could take care of the cost of importing food, and then we could truly fuck the county ...

Oh and there was one other bit of good news for the day ... the Pope has returned from his winter retreat and begun issuing new encyclicals of a Whovian kind... with more excellent papal injunctions to follow here ...