Today is white bread day at the pond, courtesy of the lizards of Oz, and you'd better like it, or the mutton Dutton will make you lump it in the clinker ...
That was just a hits and memories front page the pond forgot to mention, but it captures the spirit of the white bread Xian western civilisation spirit of the times, which incidentally brings the pond to another essential missive it almost missed ...
Look at the Terror opinion pages today, and what does the splash say?
Nothing to see here right?
Boofhead Mark Latham scribbling away because there's no taxi-driver arm in the vicinity to break, and a woman scribbling about the way that women can match men at mindlessly, stupidly games, chasing a ball in a paddock, when they might just as easily take up the noble ancient art of cow pat hurling ... (oh how good was the pond at tossing cow shit).
Boofhead Mark Latham scribbling away because there's no taxi-driver arm in the vicinity to break, and a woman scribbling about the way that women can match men at mindlessly, stupidly games, chasing a ball in a paddock, when they might just as easily take up the noble ancient art of cow pat hurling ... (oh how good was the pond at tossing cow shit).
But then click on the inside opinion pages - though it requires enormous stupidity or courage to click into the bowels of the beast - and what do you find?
There's the arm breaker again, and Caleb can be safely ignored, but look ...
...a genuine nugget, of the kind that keeps fossickers roaming New South Wales ...
No, it's better than gold, it's dashing Donners blathering on for the nth time about Xian values ... and western civilisation and all the rest of it ... and likely not a word about decent Roman and Greek values of the kind that gave us Saturnalia ... and Bacchus ... and graffiti ... and art ...
...a genuine nugget, of the kind that keeps fossickers roaming New South Wales ...
No, it's better than gold, it's dashing Donners blathering on for the nth time about Xian values ... and western civilisation and all the rest of it ... and likely not a word about decent Roman and Greek values of the kind that gave us Saturnalia ... and Bacchus ... and graffiti ... and art ...
That image can be found here, but now it's time to settle back and enjoy Donners bleating away ... and with a bit of luck, a Pellist in full frock might start off the story ...
Hmm, it's almost as if Donners had done a Greg Hunt on 'Judeo-Christian' here ...
Follow the link for the footnotes and the links, while the pond gets on with more Donners ...
It's purest divine nonsense of course, and if the pond happened to be a Buddhist or a Confucian, the pond might get seriously pissed off at the level of delusion and cultural arrogance, of a kind which peculiarly seems to infest certain white men of a certain age ...
No doubt Donners will sit the pond down at some point and explain how two world wars, a multitude of minor ones, colonialism and imperialism, slavery, the subjugation of women, the persecution of gays and the odd holocaust here and there reflect the Xian concept of the sanctity of life and being charitable to others ...
In the meantime, there's just one last gobbet of Donners to go ... and perhaps it would be wise to don a belt to keep the pants up for the read ...
Ah yes, a noble German tradition ... gott's mit the pond, and no doubt gott's with you, so let's go at it hard ...
Now the pond right away has to make a disclaimer.
It did not Photoshop, cut in, montage or otherwise insert that Kinky Boots promo at the bottom of dashing Donners' piece ...
There's post-modernist irony in a post-reflexive way, and then there's the kinky Terror ...
That insolent juxtaposition was solely the work of the Terror, though it's true it does highlight one of the benefits of western civilisation ... a decent pair of kinky boots ...
Even the Catholics share the pond's love of kinky shoes ... as in this antique velvet shoe once worn by a fashionable priest ...
Sadly of late the Pope has gone basic schoolboy black, and forsaken the bright red papal slippers, to the consternation of many ...
It was around this point that the pond began to feel sybaritic, voluptuous, hedonistic, decadent, luxurious and extravagant ...
The point about white bread is that you can devour a half loaf at a sitting, and the gluten will undoubtedly lead to an eternity in heaven ... (get thee to damned hell, coeliacs, it's part of the joys of western civilisation).
So why not break off a crusty chunk of nattering "Ned" from the old baguette and have another treat?
Now there's nothing much to say about the result.
The breaking of the bread is enough, and the outrage ... the shouting at clouds in the dashing Donners way is reward enough in itself ...
The pond feels so strongly about this abject folly, it wonders whether it might suggest the importance of colourful footwear to spiritual well-being ...
By golly that's the sort of gear that makes nattering Ned easy to swallow ...
The reptiles really can't stand minorities of any shape, kind or form, can they? The intolerance is remarkable, the insistence on conformity, the desire for just two parties, with the one born to rule eternally in power, is deep in the heart of your average intolerant elderly raging at clouds white-bread-devouring old white fart ...
Of course it's an old joke and an old routine, and even funnier if you happen to have made an investment in piggeries, per The Canberra Times on 7th November 1992:
While digging up that quote, the pond even stumbled across the news that Trove had archived The Chaser from 2001 here ...explaining Australian democracy ...
It being a little hard to flip a monitor, please, allow the pond to do the pay-off ...
Well it's as funny as reading nattering "Ned" and dashing Donners, though some might not find that funny at all.
Time for a real cartoonist in the form of Pope, with more elegant papal footwear to be found here ...
"The reptiles really can't stand minorities of any shape, kind or form, can they?"
ReplyDeleteOh yes they can, DP; they stood very well the minority of one known as Brian Harridine when, as a Tasmanian senator with not much more in the way of a vote than Ms Lambie, he, personally and on his own, held the balance of power from December 1994 to March 1996.
Very adaptable altogether those reptiles.
PS: do you think it's a normal failure of Catholic education that the Broady Boy has no idea of the origin of the word 'philanthropy' ? Or 'alms' for that matter. And I would seriously doubt that he has even the faintest notion of 'The Epic of Gilgamesh'.
There can only be a 'war against Christianity' for criticising men who beat their wives if, in fact, such actions are approved or condoned by Christians.
ReplyDelete" the desire for just two parties, with the one born to rule eternally in power"
ReplyDeleteInteresting coincidence, DP. I was just this day reading "Multi-party kleptocracies rather than illiberal democracies [ http://glineq.blogspot.com.au/2017/07/multi-party-kleptocracies-rather-than.html ]
Interesting link GB, and while not dealing with the US, with interesting echoes relating to the current mess in that country ...
DeleteAnd maybe to a coming mess in this country too. But then Australia never seems to quite go as far as anyone else, maybe because the rewards just aren't that great - a few small time billionaires is all we can manage.
DeleteThe thing about the USA though is the 'fellow traveller' aspect, given that Americans have always been very tolerant of anti-democratic regimes.
For the real face of right-wing christianism in the years to come check out the essay by Chris Hedges titled Trump and the Christian Fascists.
ReplyDeleteBut of course right-wing "catholics" have always been in bed with blood-soaked regimes for forever and a day.
Donners seems to think the church has some sort of intellectual property right over any sort of virtue he sees in society. Christianity has always been more than happy to appropriate existing customs and practices & incorporate them in it's own rituals then claim them as it's own. The likes of Donners conveniently airbrush out the pogroms, crusades, religious wars and, more recently, support of totalitarian regimes. Here's a potted version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-PFoCzlX7M or have a dig on the intertubes regarding the relationship between the church & Mussolini.
ReplyDeleteDonners is spot on when he says that "Judeo[sic]-Christianity is central to Australia's cultural, economic, moral and spiritual wellbeing", in the same way that the TAB is central to a gambling addict's economic, social and financial wellbeing - as a substantial negative influence.
ReplyDeleteJust on the economic side, disaggregating churches' legitimately charitable activities from their business activities (and removing the ridiculous notion that proselytising is somehow "charitable") would inject something over $40 billion per year into government coffers, pretty much wiping out the deficit at as stroke, even after subtracting the costs of a lot of private school kids moving to the public system. Or if you'd rather spend that cash on useful things, there is not shortage of choices - pay down debt, tax cuts, infrastructure, welfare, health, hookers and blackjack - whatever suits your politics...
Good payoffs on the cultural and moral sides as well. Spiritual? Well, no-ones stopping them as likes such things...
Now don't get the pond started FrankD ...
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