In which the pond reheats some Lyons' sludge and serves it as the morning porridge ...

Being a film buff, the pond was captivated by the notion of the reptiles having a Lyons' Den ...

Better still, the Lyons came out a-roaring, not about that new terror, the North Koreans, but the old terror ... the onion muncher rampant ...

Yes, it was a classic 'we'll be rooned' column, so even though it was a little old and stale, the pond got out its magic science oven and re-heated the sludge ... while thinking of a better animated offering for Lyons' feeble growl about the needle in his paw ...

A koala should be just right for a Lyons shouting out 'for heaven's sake, somebody do something about the onion muncher, and sooner rather than later' ...'we'll all be rooned, said Hanrahan and Lyons' ,,,

Uh huh. How strange.

Rather than talking up the issue that affects all Murdochians in Australia and abroad - climate science denialism - the Lyons ended up roaring about the government's infighting and growling about the onion muncher ...

What? That the noisy Murdochian cheer squad should just stop paying attention to the narcissist wrecker-in-chief? 

But where would that leave the Bolter, busy recycling Overington ...

The Bolter is a relentless member of the onion muncher cheer squad, on the box, and helpfully killing trees ... savaging Savva, celebrating Ming the Merciless, and refusing to shut up, because that's what Fairfaxians as well as the Lyons wants him to do ...

In short, just like the Liberal party, the reptiles are now officially engaged in a civil war, in which representatives of rival parties are called in to denounce the Liberal party and show the members a new way forward ...

 

But what's the best the Lyons can offer to sort the unholy mess out?

And there in a nutshell is the reason why the reptiles are completely useless. 

Lyons is in the grip of a first class massive delusion if he thinks that bringing Abbott into the ministry will do anything other than ensure the destruction of his government. It's way too late for that, and at least Malware shows he has some basic grip on reality. The recent sociopathic vengeful behaviour by the onion muncher suggests he won't be happy until he's stomping down the dirt on Malware's metaphorical political grave.

It seems this particular Lyon is in urgent need of medical assistance ...

Even worse was that trotting out of Gra Gra as a man with the answers and helpful advice. This day Gra Gra was perfectly positioned in the lizard Oz ...

...preaching dinkum Aussie coal, coal, coal, just beneath an Oz creationist deep in the grip of a massive delusion ...

Back to Lyons, now turned to whimpering about the onion muncher ...

The man who furiously scribbled "rather than a leadership spill" now within the same column wants to "put the matter to a leadership ballot and if Turnbull wins then Abbott should retreat with dignity"?

What, in the dignified way the onion muncher retreated last time after losing?

And if that fails, the skirt should fix it up?

Like this? I am woman, hear me roar?

Maybe the skirt realises that inanely blathering on like a Lyons is not only useless ... to join a parade of cabinet ministers saying enough is enough would only encourage the narcissist even more, by paying attention to him and pandering to him ... 

Maybe everybody would be better off if no one paid any attention to the onion muncher, but that's like asking the reptiles to give up easy copy of the Lyons kind before heading off into Surry Hills for a latte lunch ...

Did Lyons even pause to consider the way public displays of sorrow of the Lyons kind seem to get the nattering negativity in the onion muncher cranked up to 11 ...

He loves the attention, so thank the long absent lord that this is the Lyons' last pandering gobbet ...

Oh please ... they'll stamp their collective feet and "formally denounce him as a wrecker" ...

That's it, that'll fix him, that'll learn him, that'll teach him?

Could it get any sillier? Thanks to the Bolter, it could ...

Latham is the solution to unhappy Liberals? What the fuck was that arm-breaking question again?

Meanwhile, the mad monk turns up everywhere. Look, there he is in Malware's luggage, thanks to David Rowe, with more excellent packing for all kinds of trips by Rowe here ...