In which the pond shares some white bread with the reptiles and discovers that the Caterists are at war with Christ ...

The reptiles reached a new level of Judeo-Christian western civilisation white bread absurdity this day ... 

It's all the more tragic because it was a yarn reheated from The Times ... which at least had the grace to use an ersatz boobs joke in its presentation a month ago ...

Have the lizards of Oz come to this level of click-bait desperation?

Yes, in its original Murdochian form, a month old and too stale to feed even to the pigeons in the back lane, it was the Poms explaining and justifying their eating habits, and the need to keep a slice of white bread in the freezer for when the mood took them ...

To tell you the truth, the pond will never forget one breakfast of warm baked beans, greasy fried eggs, a greasy sausage, and even greasier bacon that we ate by the stone-walled bank of the Thames one morning. 

Oh and the white bread toast was burned to a pleasant cancer-inducing crisp, and the tea spoon wilted at any contact with what passed for tea ...

But enough of the riches of western civilisation, because the reptiles have been very busy this morning, fuelled by white bread and righteousness ...

This provoked particular pond mirth ...

Silly Paul Barry - he really doesn't understand that the reptiles are at war with the ABC and anything he says will be taken down and used in falsified evidence against him and them.

Barry had actually criticised the ABC for its headline promoting a story about Xians indulging in wife bashing, as they do, frequently using headship, obedience and the notion of complimentary women as an excuse or a justification (the pond coming from an Xian family which featured wife bashing helps explain the pond's querulous and jaundiced air on this matter).

Naturally the reptiles cherry-picked the foolish Barry so that they could continue the war on the ABC by pretending the ABC was at war with Xians, when in reality Xians litter the broadcaster like lice on a Tamworth urchin ...

But enough of the riches of western civilisation, which perforce includes fraudulent reptile lying and headline misrepresentation of a Donald kind with inverted commas hired to work at single time on a Sunday - the reptiles are expert at this ideological warfare - because there was also serious work to be done, including the rehabilitation of Malware and the denigration of Comrade Bill ...

The reptiles are now on a serious election footing, and many more trees can expect to die as the campaign unfolds to restore Malware to grace, and to demonise the onion muncher and Comrade Bill...

Naturally there are many brave foot soldiers ready to march in this battle ...

While an army marches on its stomach, it also marches on its funding, so the pond should remind punters that their tax dollars have been generously donated to the Caterists so that they can maintain the rage ...

This is always worth bearing in mind when the Caterists get agitated and righteous about budgetary matters ...

Unctuous platitudes?

The Sermon the Mount is full of unctuous platitudes?

Matthew scribbles unctuous platitudes?

The Jesuits should be mocked, for the Jesuitical way they indulge in casuistical thinking?

Reptiles, heal thyself ... or at least consider an alternative headline ...

Darn it, the pond's got a long way to go before it turns Banksy ...

As for the rest, it's just more of the stuff to be expected from a Canberra insider with his mouth in the taxpayer trough, mumbling about the politics of grievance as best he can while the cash in the paw sloshes through the system like a hit of pure white sugar in milky English tea ...

What next? Christ a socialist?

And then alack, alas, the pond began to wonder if the Caterists deep down knew he was, and they were too, deeply, richly socialist, urban Canberran socialist, more socialist than your average agrarian socialist, firmly believing as they do in the redistribution of taxpayer money to those deserving poor who expect a few alms from the Department of Finance ...

Oh just shut your gob and enjoy your taxpayer-funded cake, with plenty of nuts and sultanas, while the pond joins the reptiles in munching on its two dollar Aldi white bread ...

Yes, it's a richly comic white bread world, with Rowe happily on hand to explore the electoral cycle, and with more Rowe peddling here ...