Monday, July 17, 2017

In which the pond hoped to open the week with a mighty smackdown between maundering Moorice and nattering "Ned" ...

The pond was hoping to begin the week with a bang.

Not just the onion muncher v. Malware, which these days could only sustain a one reeler at the beginning of the Saturday matinee ... a hundred and fifty bucks for a ticket to the convention?

What about the champers? The pond isn't cheap ... and if there's champers, there surely must be fish eggs ...

As usual, the pond had to turn to the reptiles in hopes of an epic smackdown, and talk of a civil war on the front page of the Oz stirred the pond's hopes ... who was the new Vivien Leigh? Could the onion muncher be crossing over? Spiky and spunky, yet strangely attractive.

Would Malware discover a spine and turn into Clark Gable, or would he always be a wimp like Ashley?

And just look at the digital line-up this morning ...

Barners alienated and alone in Tamworth - a condition the pond knew only too well - and Cory on the rise amongst great aunts in Adelaide as the wisteria blooms and Kensington Road runs straight for a while, past the hedges all in the row - a syndrome the pond once suffered from - and lo, there's nattering Ned ...which surely guarantees a gigantic feast of verbiage on the loose ...

And what's that, elsewhere on the digital page? Oh be still, beating heart ...

Nattering "Ned" v. maundering millennial Moorice?

Why it could be the greatest smackdown since ... if only the pond actually knew a few meaningful names in wrestling or boxing or MMA.

And look, the google logarithms could sense the potency of the coupling, the rightness, the so and thus ...

It could be sock puppets at ten paces...

Naturally after that epic build-up of expectations - the reptiles and the pond know how to tease - the pond first turned to nattering "Ned". Better to get the ponderous portentous pompous prolix one out of the way, and see if there was any stamina left for the doom-laden mutterings of Moorice ...

The pond summoned up all possible strength and clicked on...

Nick Greiner, the man who peddled coffin nails to kill Australians, worried about the poison at the heart of the party?

It must be serious, and surely as a result "Ned" would bang on for hours like a dunny door out the back in Barners' yard:

Say what? That's it?

A bit of tut-tutting and cluck-clucking and bugger all else, bar a little hand-wringing?

It was like "Ned" had got into the ring, and before any action started, someone flung in the towel.

The pond flinched. It would be cruel, inhuman, to introduce a wrecking ball like Moorice into the ring with "Ned" in such form.

It was surely going to be brutal, as well as a cakewalk, a romp.

No way would Moorice be satisfied with this kind of meek surrender ... Moorice would still go in hard, possibly with a bit of eye-gouging and the odd coat-hanger just to keep the Terror crowd interested ...

Indeed, indeed. The onion muncher is the solution. That damned socialist (have you heard he was an Islamic born in Kenya?) is surely the problem ...

And just to confirm it, Moorice is about to deliver the ultimate head slammer by reverting to British politics, where things are done in damned fine style ...

The pond just wanted to fling in a Bell because frankly it doesn't think it's seen a more tedious Monday morning in many a month, with more Bell here for those wanting to remember Treeza before she disappears into the shadows ...(and there's a nice bonus portrait of that pretty straight guy Tony Bleagh) ...

Back to Moorice, channeling the Speccie, because the barking mad must always flock together ...

It is of course classic paranoid Moorice - who else could scribble "moderates" (read leftists), so that the pond could scribble Mooricians (read barking mad howling at the moon loons to the right of Genghis Khan)?

And then there was the reference to the onion muncher not being popular inside the beltway or the inner city ... so quickly it's all the forgotten, the way the polls told that the onion muncher and petulant Peta were on the nose even worse than the smells emanating from the garbage truck doing its rounds in Camperdown this morning ...

Does anyone outside reptile la la land pay the slightest heed to the rantings and railings of Moorice?Does anybody, bar the seriously delusional, think that after all the bad blood, the onion muncher is the solution ... the way that former Chairman Rudd imagined he remained important?

But still the pond has to acknowledge that Moorice won in a cakewalk, and about the only interesting thing about it, is the origin of the concept of "cakewalk", which, for fearless Gregs not frightened by southern walri, has its own wiki here ...

Put it another way: Le municot d'oignons vit ...

And now what to do with all this Moorice energy? It's true nattering "Ned" wouldn't generate enough current for a torch light bulb - so wet these jelly liberals flopping about on the beach of life - but surely the onion muncher and his team are doing powerhouse business ...

Naturally the pond was drawn to Pat's solution, with more Pat here ...


  1. We see Nattering Ned and Maurice speaking out on a platform that was a party to developing Menzies doctrine while Australia was defending our land for survival Murdoch assisted Menzies in developing the parties platform through the IPA that still stands today.
    The public are suppose to believe what is written by these right wing nutters but they will continue propagandizing their parties platform and from what I interpret from their spiel nothing is beyond what they will say and do to denigrate the opposition.

  2. Moorice is the one, the only... Biyach!
    When Moorice moves towards the water cooler of the precious, the arthritic scribblers are blasted aside like so many fried synapses.

    Only Moorice is the the one who can read the pulse of all the idiot yoof, right up to age 27, and the only one who can read the pulse of all the bedwetters who have believed in nothing,right back to 1974.

    All this Menzian humility will bring the Neddies of Holt St.nothing but trouble.

  3. "How dare Malware prefer fairness over profits!

    What we need is the strong arm of Abbott to put those plebs in their places with harsh budget saving measures that favour the rich over the poor.

    This is why Abbott has the 'widespread' support of the 'forgotten people'."

    Fuck me drunk, Moorice couldn't even be internally consistent with that rant.

    Gotta love that line about people born since the 90s having being educated not to be horrified by socialist governments.

    They have certainly been horrified by the experience of an Abbott led, ultra conservative government.

    1. Yes - it would help if the examples actually support his case (although it is hard sometimes to work out what that case is). As usual, what the majority of people would consider desirable outcomes are treated as harbingers of doom & Abbott's weird brain-farts (thought leadership) are treated as sensible policy.

  4. Greiner wants Turnbull and Abbott to meet. Would it be Naked Gun 2 1/2 "mano a mano", or Thunderdome, "two men enter, one man leaves"?

    1. Could we vary that logline Joe? An onion muncher and a computer virus go into a bar ...

  5. It's a petty pet peeve of mine, but I wish Australian commentators would stop using the term "the beltway". It refers to Interstate 495, which is a ring road that encircles Washington DC.

    There's no Canberra equivalent. (If you want to bypass Canberra, just keep driving down the Hume when the Barton or Federal Highway turnoffs appear. Too easy!)

    Same goes for "reach across the aisle", which refers to the seating arrangements in the US Congress. The Australian equivalent would be "step around those annoying crossbenchers".

  6. Good question Joe, although Frank the Tank immediately came to mind. Bring it on I say. Release the beasts!

  7. Moorice: Like Menzies observed in 1974, the machine is populated by "progressives"...

    The "progressive" that Moorice notes Menzies as condemning was Rupert (later Sir Rupert) James "Dick" Hamer. And what exactly did "Dick" do after (Sir) Henry Bolte retired and made him premier in 1972 ? Well:

    " ... he was able to campaign in the 1973 election as a new, reformist leader, despite the fact that the Liberals had been in power for 18 years. Employing the slogan "Hamer Makes It Happen", he won a landslide against the Labor opposition under Clyde Holding, increasing his party's already large majority. He won an even larger victory in 1976, also defeating Holding.

    Hamer ... moved to modernise and liberalise government in Victoria. Environmental protection laws were greatly strengthened [and the Victorian EPA was established] the death penalty was abolished, Aboriginal communities were given ownership of their lands, abortion and homosexuality were decriminalised and anti-discrimination laws were introduced. Restrictions on shop trading hours, and on public entertainment on Sundays, were eased. A major new centre for the performing arts was built in the centre of Melbourne. These measures won the support of middle-class voters, and the Melbourne daily The Age, which had been critical of Bolte during his later years in power, strongly supported Hamer's government.

    Hamer was instrumental in the introduction of the Historic Buildings Act 1974 and made significant moves in 1977 which guaranteed the protection of several significant buildings including the Windsor Hotel and Regent Theatre in Melbourne and Shamrock Hotel in Bendigo.

    Oh yeah, just the sort of Leftist bastard that a "Liberal Conservative" would disown and prefer that some Righteous Wingnut dvckhead had lost those elections instead.


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