The pond is perplexed. Why do the reptiles let the jewel in the crown, Major Mitchell himself, step out into the world and walk amongst ordinary mortals?
Surely he above all others should be locked away, and treasured, especially as this day he's speculating on a matter dear to the reptiles' heart, the state of the very empire itself.
Who else could lead off with the astonishing insight that television is television, when the pond thought it had attained enlightenment when it finally understood that a fish is a fish … go fish, snap!
Curious. The pond will leave it to others to understand how killing trees is the way forward for newspapers, while streaming is the only option for the Chairman's precious Foxtel …
Never mind, the pond can sense a trend here. Over at Crikey, Guy Rundle is now regularly infatuated with the lizard Oz on a Monday. He can't get help wolfing down the Oreos and devotedly reading the Major, though sometimes he seems a little agitated at the way the parrot keeps chewing the scenery …
There's more of course but for that you'd have to fork over some cash, while the pond prefers to present the undiluted, distilled essence of the Major ...
There are some suckers still spending eighty bucks a month for Foxtel?
Caring nothing for cricket, the pond is pleased to suggest that the recent cricket deal is a monumental dud. From what the pond understands, the only game worth having is the bash thingie, because it's over in a night. The rest is programming dead weight, featuring a game played by cheats, and filling up days in a way that only interests tragics and elderly gentlemen of the John Howard kind.
Even the Major can't gild this lily, in the way that he tries to put a lipstick on the pig of tree killer newspapers …
But as long as the Chairman has a good business plan in the States, the reptiles here can take some comfort he'll keep them in the style to which they're currently accustomed …
Never mind, speaking of the Terror, the pond is sometimes asked if it ever misses the old days of the Devine and Akker Dakker, and truth to tell, that's a bit like asking if feels good not being hit with a hammer by Joaquin Phoenix in You Were Never Really Here …
Last week the pond thought of doing the Bolter, collected all the clippings and then couldn't be bothered.
The pond is content with a bit of cross-promotional work by the diligent reptiles, so it can do its Barbara Streisand impersonation (the pond's version of Memories will clear any bar in town), and that's how it came across this day's report on the Terrorists...
Of course the pond only does screen caps, so can't offer the chance to listen to the dynamic Sharri, explaining the way that the Mike Pence syndrome afflicts pollies down other, so that they can't bear to be out and about in a way that might make Mother worry …
The pond hates to ruin the reptile party, but the rogues at news.com.au have broken the paywall here … (no the pond didn't listen, it went looking for Joaquin's hammer instead).
Why does the pond find all this vastly amusing? Well back in 2015, Myriam Robin reported in Crikey (here for those who can step through the paywall), that Sharri's dad Max Markson had started doing some work for Mark Latham, and inter alia, reported a few of Latham's comments about Sharri:
And that sort of draws the circle together, the whole lizard Oz swamp, the Major, Sharri and the whole damn thing, leaving just time to celebrate the US swamp …
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