The pond has never been much of a Royal watcher, and the idea of groping Prince Chuck induces a faint air of nausea …
But whatever entrances the reptiles perforce entrances the pond, and over recent weeks, the reptiles have been on high alert, thanks to Prince Chuck visiting down under for some games thingie the pond has never mentioned (and sees no reason to break that rule now) …
Much of the anxiety stems from the notion that Prince Chuck, a notorious coal-hater, might become King Chuck, and then what would the reptiles do?
The reptiles are uneasy, and have turned all their bile and spleen on the bandana-wearing one, and his acolytes and consorts, but there have been a number of voices producing consternation in the ranks, and so the pond was moved this Sunday to do its first epic, almost endless reptile monarchist watch (apart from good old Flinty and his constitutional republic, may the long absent lord bless him and help him make a speedy return to the Speccie mob pages).
It was that dreadful clock man flying over Darwin to do his Regency thing in Paris that got things really ticking over …
What an outrageous man he is, and naturally the reptiles had to bring out their heaviest royal hitters, Troy and nattering "Ned" … and of course the onion muncher was front and centre of their thoughts...
Sadly this put the republican issue squarely on the agenda, but dammit, the onion muncher and Erica were working hard for their knighthoods in prospect...
The reptiles gave an unnatural amount of attention to the Paris clock-watcher's stirring, perhaps depressed at the thought of Prince Chuck turning up down under for that games thingie whatever ...
This was followed by even more brooding, even if it had to be imported from AAP ...
Oh dear, the first hints that maybe Prince Chuck could be replaced by a fresher and younger version of the brand ...
It was easy to see why the pond and even old Flinty were beginning to get that familiar queasy Prince Chuck feeling ...
Not the greenie thing! And sure enough when he actually landed, the reptiles followed him up to the GBR ...
Oh dear, it was everything the reptiles feared … and time for a little gentle correction ...
It's awkward showing the Chuck doing a tour which might as well have been financed by anti-Adani campaigners … remember the shock and the horror of this sort of thing?
Dammit, still the tourism during the games thingie whatever had to be faced, and made the best of ...
Now never mind the way that last sentence is phrased - the reptiles were under a great deal of stress, it felt like six months in a leaky boat - and instead look at the republican sentiment that turned up in the comments section …
And with things at a low ebb, could the bloody republicans work the same magic as the SSM mob?
Dammit, there'd be talk of social media, and the digital age and young people, everything that's ruining the country ...
And so to the good news, which came this very day, which is a great way to wrap up this Prince Chuck and the reptiles watch …
You see, these days Royalty is elected. Silly people might blather on about heirs apparent and the line of succession and all that silly Victorian nonsense, but in these modern times, everyone gets a vote.
We really are a constitutional republic and everyone gets a say in Chuck getting his turn on the throne, as opposed to carting his own personal toilet around ...
By golly Theresa's looking quite queenly herself …
… perhaps she could become the new Queen of Australia?
Not to worry, the important thing is that everyone gets the chance to vote in private to settle the issue once and for all …
Let us have no more of this sort of tosh …
Let us have no more of this sort of tosh …
Charles, Prince of Wales (Charles Philip Arthur George; born 14 November 1948) is the heir apparent to the British throne as the eldest child of Queen Elizabeth II. He has been Duke of Cornwall and Duke of Rothesay since 1952, and is the oldest and longest-serving heir apparent in British history. He is also the longest-serving Prince of Wales, having held that title since 1958. (Greg Hunt it here).
Enough of that jibber jabber about hairs being apparent, it must be put to the vote! And who knows how this herd of colonials might jump?
He might get the nod? Or he might not? Wouldn't want to upset the Queen even if it means getting a dud?
And so the reptiles have taken the first step on a grand journey towards republicanism … so muddled and befuddled and confused by the thought of Prince Chuck that they've completely forgotten centuries of tradition, and now cheer on the notion of doing anything to keep the peace in the Commonwealth, including putting the royal succession up for a vote …
And if we can vote on that, how soon can we vote to get rid of Prince Chuck altogether? Ah reptiles, see where a love of coal will lead you …
And now, for anyone who made it this far, a few Bell cartoons of Prince Chuck in his finest moments, with more Bell to be found here ...
JQA: "...there are no queen bees in the human hive."
ReplyDeleteWell maybe not, but the Empress-Queen Victoria tried her very best ...
Jefferson The Slaver: "...of its essence, a monarchy is a tyranny."
No, actually not so; a monarch can voluntarily abdicate - there's no tyrannical compulsion to stay in the job.
Besides, think of when the Pope had about as much secular power as any monarch: every nation in Europe "borrowed" The Pope as head of the ultimate, God-appointed authority: the Church. Until England broke free and made its own, thus converting into one of just a very few remaining Christian theocracies.