In which the pond wonders if Dames are boojums ...

The pond realised, with shock, consternation and awe that it hadn't thought about the Devine for weeks, possibly months …

Ever since the blessed Terror paywall brought blessed relief … and now it seems the dear thing has to resort to attention-seeking trolling for a little attention …

If only the lizards of Oz did the same, and the pond could wind up and go home, but still they allow a few to escape the paywall and haunt the pond, and then it occurred to the pond what a whiz it would be to have two Dames in the one piece …

“Just the place for a Dame!” the pond cried, 

As she landed her crew with care; 
Supporting each person on the top of the tide 
By a finger entwined in his or her hair. 
“Just the place for a Dame! I have said it twice: 
That alone should encourage the crew. 
Just the place for a Dame! I have said it thrice: 
What I tell you three times is true.”

So the pond got out its handy map …

… and went in search of a Dame, so that it might begin its agony in two fits of dames, and sure enough, there was Dame Slap doing her thing ...

Amazing really, with union membership tumbling, and wages stagnant, that the reptiles and Dame Slap can still play the demonisation game …

Perhaps the pond should slip in here a mention of RBA warns Australian wages will be stagnant until 2020, which turned up at the softer version of the reptile brand, the crowd-pleasing, click-bait loving news.com.au, and which began this way …

Yes, that should come in handy and it has a graph attached - the ABC taught the pond that rather unique graphs were the way to understand economics, though it's true that the RBA knows nothing up against the visionary Dame Slap, blessed with a Lobbecke cartoon designed to please cultists ...

Yes, it's all for the best in the best of all possible worlds for Dame Slap, and by golly how she loves to pick up a little spare cash in the paw by working for Uber on the night shift … because she's into two jobs in a big way ...

The pond will leave it to others to pick over the assembly of lies, distortions, dissembling misrepresentations, and 'bugger you, I'm alright Janet' comedy that makes up the piece …because the pond had to go in search of that other Dame, and sure enough, there was Dame Groan groaning away on a matter which has become something of a pet topic of hers of late ...

Yes, migrants are ruining everything, stealing our jobs, lowering conditions, wrecking cities, making unnatural demands ...

Dame Groan is agitated by all those reports doing the rounds about Migrants add to Australia's wealth, government report finds, and Budget and jobs growth would suffer if Australia cut immigration, Government report finds …

Dammit, blaming migrants for everything that's wrong is a favourite game that's been played from time immemorial (everyone knows that the Jews stole jobs and wrecked the economy when they headed off to Egypt way back when), and if it works for Pauline Hanson, it surely must work for Dame Groan.

And there's a moral thingie at work, too, and Dame Groan, being a deeply moral person, is exceptionally worried about other countries ...

Strange that the Dame should boast about having a degree from the LSE … the Poms really should have reserved her place for one of their own kind, n'est-ce pas?

No doubt some will take a view of Dame Groan's work, but the pond is pleased it could stop after only a couple of fits ...

“For, although common Dames do no manner of harm, 
Yet, I feel it my duty to say, Some are Boojums—” 
The pond broke off in alarm, 
For the reader had fainted away.

And now as the pond started off with a Devine thought, why not end with a Popish one, with more papal thinking always available here …