Sunday, April 22, 2018

In which the pond tries to help the reptile business plan ...

The pond is here to help the reptiles in their business plan …

So here's a suggestion.

Don't put a gold bar on this sort of AAP story … not when it's just one of those "hasn't the weather been funny lately" stories which are a dime a dozen and get syndicated to anyone willing to pick it up.

Save the fickle finger of commercial fate for more important yarns, and work the click bait angle for all its worth.

You see, it's the sort of story which might just happen to turn up on the Daily Snail for anyone that can stomach visiting that site … as in this sample of the matching text, which also happened to carry an earlier time stamp ...

What you reptiles are saying with your current blockade on everything is that bludgers and free loaders should head over to the Daily Snail …

Or even worse, their ABC ...

And what do you know, there's the ABC last Wednesday - days and days ago - running a story headed Retailers pray for rainy day, with warm weather hurting winter sales, which began this way …

If you think it's been unseasonably warm across southern Australia this autumn — you'd be right. Official Bureau of Meteorology figures show temperature records have been smashed in New South Wales, Victoria and South Australia. So spare a thought for retailers, for whom the unusual weather is having a massive financial impact. "Everybody is saying 'isn't this weather amazing' — I'm saying 'no we want some cold weather it's not amazing at all'," said Anita Carmody, the owner of Swish Plus Fashion, a chain of nine retail stores. Winter stock has been out on the floor since February and few people are buying. "It's definitely affecting sales— foot traffic is down," Ms Carmody said.

What you reptiles needed was a quality contribution from Lloydie explaining how retailers were sensible in not blaming global warming - there's still no settled science - and besides the Great Barrier Reef didn't really cook, it was just gently simmering along in the usual way, and have you heard that octopi are visiting aliens? 

There's your product differentiation right there … no one else has got Lloydie to add that special touch of climate science … and not a single story about the weather should go through without that magical Lloydie enhancement or at least a mention of the alien octopi ...


  1. Hi Dorothy,

    Could there be an economic downside to burning lovely Aussie Coal?

    Say it ain’t so.


  2. I never know quite where the right place to put these tweets that haven't aged especially well. I'm going to gamble here is a good place as we're talking reptile business models.

    Associate Editor of The Australian, Mr Chris Kenny tweets on 8th April 2016:

    "Labor's Royal commission into banks could find that they are businesses that profit from lending money and charging interest".

    This is a feller who has made good coin from being spectacularly wrong both day to day, and with hindsight: The Iraq War, Tony Abbott, Banking RC - he fears no level of incorrectness.

    Could he be weaponised in a business model?

    1. Yeah, it can be puzzling to know where to put some things, vc, but they seriously need to be put somewhere. So thanks for that item about the Dog Botherer; not being a twitterati, I would have missed out on it otherwise.

  3. Talk about where is the right place to put something, I've just read a confession and I know exactly where to put it ... except that we closed down all our insane asylums years ago.

    Anyway, courtesy of the AFR:
    "Malcolm Turnbull has conceded that his refusal to call a banking royal commission two years ago was a political error but maintains the government was putting customers first by getting on with introducing new rules and regulations to clean up the sector, rather than have an inquiry first."

    Yep, that's the go: give the banks years and years more time to rip off and rob and bankrupt their customers while you work out the perfect penalty scheme ... which due to your gross incompetence you won't be able to get passed by parliament.

    "Putting the customers first" - I don't think even The Bolter would have gone for that one. But both ScoMo and KellyO' fell into line completely. Sheesh.


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