Friday, April 12, 2024

In which the pond increases its productivity thanks to a jolly good Groaning, Mein Gott and holey Henry ...

 

For some reason, the pond was reminded of the Port Arthur massacre when reading the headlines in today's lizard Oz. 

Say what? Inappropriate, offensive metaphor? Shocking, as low as you might go, and the pond has never been more contemptible in its war with the reptiles?

Not really. Apparently, it's just normal political discourse, whatever an outraged Bid might think, and in defence, just look at what the reptiles have in their sights ...




There's simplistic "here no conflict of interest" Simon in the preferred far right top spot, and the point of course is that there's never been a government action the reptiles have loved, unless it happens to be a subsidy for News Corp, or a government action benefiting the beast (ah the good old days of kill the NBN, with the onion muncher still exciting correspondents as he trumps Boris).

But why waste time with blather from simpleton or the mob across the way in the digital edition, talking up hidden costs, because that might lead some to wonder how hidden they must be if the reptiles have made them the subject of the reptiles' intervention agenda and put them on view at the top of the page, ma...

Besides, the pond liked it better late arvo yesterday when Dame Groan was called back to active duty to lead the ravening horde ...




That's more like it, Dame Groan in her preferred top far right position, and ready to turn Friday into another reptilonomics day ...




Having been fed countless warnings about China by the bromancer and others at the lizard Oz, the pond was immediately struck by enlightenment, as if by understanding a Zen koan.

There was no point in attempting to do anything, best to keep sucking on the Chinese tit, with the only way to increase productivity in Australia the writing of yet another column for the lizard Oz ...

Let's face it, your average Oz person is just a useless, incompetent wanker, and the Chinese are top dogs, and besides, it's all this nonsense about climate change ...




Indeed, indeed, and over in the UK, things are going splendidly, though perhaps 'united' or 'great' aren't quite the words to use anymore ....






Remember, the best way to improve productivity is another column in the lizard Oz, and so Dame Groan has lifted up the country in a splendid way ...




To be fair, the infallible Pope saw the same vision as the Groaner, deep in her "we'll all be rooned or at least soundly thrashed" footnote to the possible footnote, and the pond will never trust the bromancer preaching the virtues of self-sufficiency again ...






The pond shed a tear for its first car, a noble FX which sounded great when the muffler fell off, which it regularly did, making a noise like a pack of mighty reptiles, though the pond notes that the infallible Pope seems to prefer the post Ben Chifley FJ, which simply won't do, and with which the pond will not put up ...

Meanwhile, in other economical with hope news, Mein Gott was also out and about yesterday...





The pond has complained before about the way that the reptiles hold back Mein Gott and so interfere with the pond's publishing schedule. How can the pond increase its productivity with this attitude?

The pond takes to heart Mein Gott's warning that the Chinese and the United States are on the warpath, so there's no point doing anything. Perhaps the best bet is for the orange Jesus to return, and slap a 100% tariff on anything that moves ...

Mein Gott loves the mango Mussolini's economic wisdom. If you can bankrupt a casino, then surely you can float a stock and make a fortune...




Mein Gott, they interrupted gottonomics with a snap of his inspiration ...




The pond was more moved by the hope of divine intervention ...






... and then all that was needed was a short final gobbet to sort out pretty much everything ...




Oh it's a tremendous giggle, but already the pond has improved its productivity enormously, and can turn to a supportive immortal Rowe to get mad as hell and shout at the clouds ....






Speaking of Albo, the pond couldn't help but notice that he was below the fold, helping out with the reptiles' paywall ...




Are the reptiles grateful for the help? Not on your nelly, not when there's religious freedom to blather about, or yet another burst of transphobia, or speculation about who the Donald might pick to do a supine Pence, and even worse, a con because you could find the actual speech freely available on the PM's over-elaborate website here ...

That left just holey Henry as the pond's big chance to increase productivity, on the basis that he's never seen a Gaza genocide he hasn't loved, and why turn to the lizard Oz editorial ranting about a lack of coherence in relation to genocideswhen you can have the real deal?



Indeed, indeed, the best way to deal with a genocide is to ignore it entirely, and if it won't go away, then in due course all the causes of holey Henry's suffering certainly will ...

It should be noted that the reptiles slipped in a couple of snaps, but as the hole in the bucket man isn't into the business of lamenting, these are only for the record ...






Remarkably the hole in bucket man is an astonishing defence strategist, which the pond can only attribute to his reading of Thucydides, though sadly classical references are in short supply this day ...




Indeed, indeed, the best way to talk about the Gaza genocide is to talk about other things ... then you won't get distracted by headlines ...

As part of Israel's attempt to placate President Joe Biden after seven workers from the World Central Kitchen charity were killed by the IDF, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu promised to reopen Erez to humanitarian convoys.
That matters because it is the simplest way to get aid to perhaps 300,000 Palestinians in northern Gaza. The most authoritative measure of food emergencies, known as the IPC, has warned that famine will have gripped the area in the next four weeks or so. Joe Biden's humanitarian envoy to Gaza, David Satterfield, said on Wednesday that there was "an imminent risk of famine for the majority, if not all, the 2.2 million population of Gaza".
The famine has been caused by the siege Israel imposed just after the 7 October attacks. At the time the Israeli defence minister Yoav Gallant said: "I have ordered a complete siege on the Gaza Strip. There will be no electricity, no food, no fuel, everything is closed.
"We are fighting human animals, and we are acting accordingly."
Israel was forced by international pressure to allow in limited supplies of aid. But over six months it has not been anything like enough. Israel argued, inaccurately, that hunger in Gaza was caused by Hamas stealing and stockpiling aid and the UN's failure to distribute what was left.
Close supporters of Prime Minister Netanyahu continue to deny there is a famine. One of them, an MP called Boaz Bismuth, told me at Israel's parliament that there was no famine in Gaza and allegations that Israel was starving civilians were based on antisemitism. The evidence of famine, however, is overwhelming.
The Erez crossing, despite the prime minister's promise to Joe Biden, is still closed. I managed to get close enough to look down on the Erez terminal. Nothing was moving. I couldn't see people, let alone trucks. Reports in Israel say the government is talking about opening another crossing, less easily accessible to Israeli demonstrators who do not want any food or medical aid to enter Gaza while the hostages are still there and have been blocking some convoys.
The UN and other aid providers say every day counts to try to help people caught up in the humanitarian catastrophe inside Gaza. The fact that Erez is closed looks like a delaying tactic. The Jewish ultranationalists whose backing keeps Mr Netanyahu in power also do not want to send in aid.

And so on and on - reporters have to peer at terminals because no access is allowed - censorship is its own reward - but back with Henry reliving other battles elsewhere as a splendid distraction ...




Careful readers will note the way that cunning holey Henry slipped in a big billy goat butt, dressed up as an "of course, none of that ...", when the entire point is that none of that matters when it comes to clearing out the animals ...

And so to the final gobbet, with the pond's productivity vastly enhanced, though Thucydides will have to wait another day, because really do we have to mention the genocide? That would be intensely political, almost Port Arthurish and seriously ill-advised ...




And so it's been another day for all the news that fits ...







11 comments:

  1. Delusions meet grandure in "Jacob’s Dream. MAGA meets the Age of Aquarius".

    "The pond was more moved by the hope of divine intervention ..." as is the Jan 6th 'sharman', who is the basis for panels 2 and 5 in The Modern World cartoon. In other words the reverse of a tin foil hat.

    Buffulo horns to feel, ... "all of the paranormal experiences that I’ve had, the UFOs that I’ve seen, the strange synchronicities—you know, Carl Jung synchronicities, the strange synchronicities that are of a divine nature very similar to divine providence—we’d be here for hours.”

    "As it turned out, we did sit there for hours. As Jacob had tweeted several weeks earlier:
    "The ether is filled with ideas! Ideas which are frequencies of energy that exist within the larger fractal sacred geometric pattern called the Unified Field or God, Carl Jung called it the Collective Unconscious.
    ...
    "... when asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be when he grew up, he had a ready answer:
    "My career of choice is to be a “master,” a Christ, a Buddha, or a Muhammad, whichever you prefer to call it. Now most people would say that there is no such career, and that a career is something you do for a living. Then I would reply with a smile and say, “What better living is there?”

    "Goals included “moving things with your mind, healing the sick, and rising from the dead.” Daily responsibilities “are nothing. That is the beauty of it; one can choose whatever one wants to create in one’s reality…. This is why every day of the master’s life is the best day of their life.”

    "Which would include January 6. 
    ...
    https://harpers.org/archive/2024/04/jacobs-dream/

    Hence panels 2 and 5.
    A long read. Be careful, you may feel the woo and basis for aryan accent. Don't forget your buffalo horn hat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow:
      "the consciousness-raising, om-chanting, sound-healing, joint-toking, crystal- and chart-reading crowd"

      Yeah, used to see them around everywhere of a Saturday night.

      Delete
  2. Sad that Henry was only able to delve back a few decades to explain away Gaza deaths. Surely he could have worked in a reference to the battle of Marathon, the Punic Wars or the Crusades?

    Of course all his waffling basically amounts to echoing Bibi’s “shit happens”.. Funny how hawks - particularly chicken hawks of the Bromancer and Henry kind - constantly wank on about the sophistication of Western military tech; until there’s a desperate need for excuses, then it’s “of course you can’t rely on the hardware being perfect”.

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    Replies
    1. Or maybe Carthage, but the pond regrets it didn't deploy the elegant simplicity of that summary, "shit happens". As in:

      "There is no reason to believe the likelihood of targeting mishaps has diminished significantly since then. Even for technologically sophisticated forces, friendly-fire casualty rates remain high, accounting for 15 to 20 per cent of Israeli losses in Gaza; and the error rates can be even higher when co-ordination is required between distinct organisations, as was apparent from the many friendly-fire incidents between coalition militaries, as well as between those militaries and NGOs, in Afghanistan and Iraq."

      And don't worry, shit should continue to happen, provided it happens elsewhere:

      "In effect, it drastically compromises the ADF’s position in future armed conflicts: no fighting force can hope to survive on the battlefield if it seeks to entirely avoid inadvertent casualties, or even makes that, rather than defeating the enemy, its uppermost priority."

      If the pond had had the wit, it would have scribbled "shit happens" and "shit will continue to happen" and left it at that. Once again the pond's correspondents shoot and score ...

      Delete
    2. I reckon there's a world of difference between "shit happens" and "I opened my arse and pushed and shit happened". Just as there's a world of difference between "mistake" and "careless incompetence" and a "cover up".

      So what was the case with the WCK ? Was it just an accident, or did human incompetence play a part. And if so, how much incompetence does it take before it becomes in some sense criminal ? After all, we do distinguish between manslaughter and the various degrees of murder, don't we.

      Delete
  3. Sayeth Mein Gott -
    >> I don't believe markets have understood the impact this will have on American inflation and global interest rates. >>

    What is this blasphemy? I thought it was an article of faith - indeed a law of nature - to all Reptile scribblers that the Markets are nigh on infallible, and that they always get it right.

    Unless, of course, they’re not acting in accordance with the theories and predictions of the likes of Mein Gott…

    As for today’s offering from the Dame - what a welcome little ray of sunshine she is! Yeah, we’re completely stuffed - no use bothering to try and do anything about it. Suggestions for action? *pffftt* - not my job, mate.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Our Dame, again, has been able to rant about 'wasting money' on industries, without having to be in any way specific about those industries.

    Taiwan is the major supplier of high end electronic components. Estimates run to 90% of world demand. Those with a little more vision than our Corporal Bro, write of a veritable 'silicon shield' over the island - that its large neighbour is unlikely to go the full military option to re-integrate it back into the Celestial Empire, for fear of damaging the source of the chips that its own manufacturers need for high value-added goods to trade with the rest of the world.

    But, those few days back, Taiwan had a significant earthquake, which left us with pictures of buildings that suddenly looked to be no longer fit for purpose. What if the buildings that produce those remarkable chips now looked like that? Supply chain? Our Dame would not have spared the governments of the rest of the world who had not made decisions to reduce the risk of sudden, and near complete, loss of those components, and the likely world-wide recession that would follow. Never mind your EV - the grubbiest, tax-favoured dual-cab ute in Australia still requires a stack of such chips to take the kids to school.

    The current US administration thinks it wise to have alternative suppliers of those components. The European community agrees. Such capacity will require highly refined materials; a bit fancier than the stockpiles of coal produced during the Mango Mussolini's previous reign.

    Locally, we also read that we have not reserved sufficient of that gas, of which we are the major exporter, to give any sort of edge to local industries. Now - who counts a seat on the board of one of our major gas producers on her c.v.? And what vision did she impart to that company?

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    1. I think she's about as useful on that board as Dame Slap was on the ABC Board. Did we ever find out whether she'd even opened her mouth in a board meeting ?

      Delete
    2. I’ve no idea what sort of a contribution Dame Slap made to the ABC, GB (well, actually I think I do - bugger all), but it’s difficult to believe she would have sat silently in board meetings. I suspect she would have spoken frequently and at length, mostly on matters completely unrelated to the agenda.

      Of course with that brief term on her CV, she feels entitled to pass judgement on all aspects of management and governance within the public sector.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous - in Adelaide I lived in the Walkerville area, and got to know many of the ABC folk, initially through working days at the local primary school. J Winston Howard steadily stacked the board, starting with Michael Kroger (yes, that one) soon after becoming PM. He followed up with Ron Brunton - from the IPA - in 2003, Dame Slap in 2005 and Windschuttle in 2006. Also in 2006 Winston deleted the staff-elected director, so the IPA could get on with destroying the public broadcaster.

      Of course, the board needed a secretariat, and the staff soon learned about how meetings went - or didn't go. Essentially, with several rabid idealogues, each of whom believed themselves to know the only way, there was little prospect of getting agreement on just how to go about fulfilling Winston's wishes. In the course of laying brick pavers at the little local school, I learned from one of the music presenters that it reached the point where, as he put it, they had trouble agreeing on what to order for morning tea, let alone how to wreck the joint.

      I am not sure if the terms of Kroger and Slap overlapped - and if their personal relationship came out of that, or if it was already in place when the Dame was nominated to the board. It matters little - for people who still rant about the coming revolution from the right (Kroger, any night on 'Sky') they showed remarkably little aptitude when they were given that one job.

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    4. I don't doubt she can, and does, produce any amount of wiffle, Anony but I'm inclined to the Chad view that whatever she waffles on about never achieves anything and hence she is "functionally silent".

      Delete

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