Tuesday, August 24, 2021

In which the reptile nest is thoroughly stirred, and shaken, but the pond only has thoughts for the shaken bromancer and the stirred Polonius ...

 

 


 

Wow. Talk about touching a raw nerve ...

The pond suspected that the 4 Corners' story on the dirty digger and his baleful influence on American society might be like poking a stick at the reptile nest ... but who could have guessed the sensitivity, the amount of agitation, the scurrying back and forth?

The reptiles even showed that the program had hit the mark by putting it at the top of the page on the tree killer edition ...

 

 
 
 
 
They were all out and about, with the crankiest nut jobs - mad dog bothering Kenny, Killer Creighton - on the case, though Killer had the help of some reptile nonentity going by the name of James Madden ...
 
Still, it was amazing, none more so than the sight of Polonius feeling compelled to leave his Sydney Institute on a Tuesday to prattle at the sky ...

The pond was reminded of that old meme ...

 

 


 

 

Or "woke" or whatever. In the usual way of hypersensitive reptiles, they can dish it out, but they can't take it ...

The pond prescribes a hearty dose of Ivermectin or perhaps hydroxy or even a chugalug of bleach and a good lie down ...

Yes, the pond watched the show, and thought it mild and forgiving, letting the US kissing cousins get away with murder ... but there was a genuine Saturday matinee hook with a cliffhanger and the promise of another episode next week ... and who knows whether the reptiles will survive a second serving of ABC gruel? Perhaps their tiny dinosaur-sized brains will explode ...

Well the pond isn't in the business of defending the ABC, and meanwhile the bromancer was also at the top of the page and waving the white flag ...
 


 
 
 
The simple truth? What's it like to see a war hawk turn into a chicken shit?
 
Well it's a tad ugly, and it requires a brushing over of history, which requires a pretty remarkable effort by the bromancer...
 
 

 

Of course the pond has already been there with the bromancer, citing reams of past columns, with the help of others, as at the dreadful ABC where back in 2011 Jeff Sparrow did a compile under the header One pundit's deadly war: from Afghanistan to Vietnam ...

 


 

Oh yes, thanks Mr Sparrow, we get the idea. Once he was a warrior hawk of the first water and now he's earned himself a white feather ...

 


 

 

The pond never thought it would be in the business of handing out white feathers, but here we are, and so disheartened was the brave Murdochian warrior that he had only one gobbet left in him ...

 


 

 

The last person you should ever lie to is yourself?

And yet here's a sampling of a bromancer column, not requiring the excavation of ancient history,  something that turned up in the lizard Oz on 27th May 2021 under the header Abandoning Kabul represents all that is Wrong in the West ... (no link, reptile paywall might intrude).

Here's how it started ...



 

 Ah those immortal lines, and in May, mind you: "Are we really expected to believe that even inside the US compound life is so dangerous we must evacuate all our diplomats?"

And before the bromancer finished off with a long brood about how the war in Vietnam was a moral victory against Communism, he offered these insights ...



 

Yes, back then, only a few months ago, the professional pundit still entered the house of his lord fully justified, but clearly had not a clue about what was to unfold ... and now his reaction is roughly equivalent to being told the truth about Faux Noise, that it's a pox, a pollutant, a blight on humanity, and single-handedly responsible for the dumbing down of the world, accompanied by cries of "freedumb" ... all so that Chairman Rupert and the one in the brood who stayed true to the crypto-fascist vision might keep heading to the bank to stash the loot ...

The pond sensed that it would have to tackle one of the reptiles on this unfolding crisis, but desperately looked around for an alternative ... 

 




 

Ancient Troy wants an inquiry? The spirit of the cardigan-wearing bureaucrat is strong in this one, because there's no way that such an inquiry would contemplate the role of the reptiles in all that's gone wrong ...

And lo, as if to prove the point, there was Shanners himself, blaming the premiers and Albo, blathering on about "quiet Australians' and celebrating the achievements of the laying on of hands, speaking to imaginary friends in tongues man ...

And there was Dame Groan explaining how mandating jabs would be an IR can of worms, because the reptiles can't bring themselves to the notion that jabs might be a way out of this mess ... better to rally the troops in the street and march against lockdowns, and perhaps have a dose of ivermectin and Sky News after dark ...

All strong and valiant contenders, and yet the pond couldn't resist the notion that the infallible Pope had demolished these efforts with a single image ...

 

 


 


The pond also couldn't get the thought out of its head that it had to tackle one of the reptiles on the matter of the ABC, and, as it to confirm the notion, there was the astonishing sight of Polonius abandoning his weekend post and prattling wildly on a Tuesday ...

 



Talk about Polonius's worst nightmare incarnated in a dull reptile illustration ... the wicked Neighbour neighing at him ...

Why it sent the lad right off in a frothing, foaming display of righteous indignation ... 


 

Ah Polonius, ever so humble, and at the centre of things ... but that talk of his role in 4 Corners evoked memories of a pdf available at the Sydney Institute celebrating the Polonial wars ...




 
Some might think there's a little satirical intent at the heart of that - the inclination to the twee and the religious - but as Polonius is at the centre of the story, all is right in the world ...
 
But enough of ancient history, the pond should return to Polonius in righteous indignation today ... only to discover that the reptiles had slipped in a click bait video and an array of links ...



 
 
 
 
It goes without saying that the pond defused the video - here no click baits, no click baits here - but for once it decided to include the reptiles' links, just as a way of proving how the ants' nest had been well and truly stirred ...
 
Obsessed? Obsessed to the point of madness? So many reptile stories raging at the ABC, so little time?

Of course, they're obsessed ... all the more so as some yearn, hunger, for the chance to jump ship, and are even more irritated by the rats who have made the leap ...

Why even Polonius fondly remembers the time he was invited into the bowels of the ABC ...
 
Of course, that was yesterday of long ago.
 
Since those heady days, Polonius has long been the fruity uncle you'd store in the attic, and only bring down when you wanted the dinner table treated to a lengthy rant about all that's wrong with the ABC. He's truly got a gigantic bumble bee in the bonnet, and it never stops buzzing ...  why it was buzzing before June 1994 and it's still buzzing in the here and now ... and as usual, there must be a litany of complaints ...
 
 

 

Well there's the usual Polonial litany, but how weird does it get? Well on the principle that the enemy of your enemy must be your friend, Polonius even finds it in his heart to embrace the orange one, the man who seriously if incoherently attempted to overthrow the result of a presidential election ...




No coherent plan? What about an incoherent one? The orange one never had a single day of coherence for his entire time in office ... and sadly the plans of Chairman Rupert to rule the world have also lurched about and lacked coherence ...

Never mind, as we're talking of coherence, might as well end with a coherent cartoon from the coherent Wilcox, celebrating another pollie deep in the land of reptile coherence ...




12 comments:

  1. Just as a small diversion from the weighty matter of the reptiles trying to destroy the ABC, some may find this worthy of attention:

    https://levelup.gitconnected.com/demystifying-5-commonly-used-idioms-in-the-tech-industry-827e8a6d653a

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    Replies
    1. That was a fun link GB, and the pond might take to using rubber ducking and dog fooding completely out of context, just because of the fun of talking of rubber ducking reptiles ...

      Delete
    2. It kind of grabbed my attention, DP, because I have personally experienced, and/or used, all 5 of them. The first time that bike-shedding came to my attention, though, was in 'Parkinson's Law or the Pursuit of Progress' (by C Northcote Parkinson) in which it is brilliantly described and in which he expounded the famous Parkinson's Principle: "work expands to fill the time available" (and boy, have I suffered from that one over the years).

      To illustrate: "The term was coined as a metaphor to illuminate Parkinson’s Law of Triviality. Parkinson observed that a committee whose job is to approve plans for a nuclear power plant may spend the majority of its time on relatively unimportant but easy-to-grasp issues, such as what materials to use for the staff bikeshed, while neglecting the design of the power plant itself, which is far more important but also far more difficult to criticize constructively."

      Delete
  2. I note Polonius did not find fault with last night's program, maybe he will be stewing away for the rest of the week, fuming internally until unleashed again on the weekend.
    Steaming with fury like an ageing Gollum locked in a shoebox.

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  3. The Bromancer (or his nonexistent subeditor): "The simple truth? It just wasn't worth it." Ok, so as DP has clearly demonstrated, here we go again: "If I don't ever say it again, then it never really happened."

    Now that's a trait that is often associated with Dame Slap (Monckton ? Trump and MAGA ? ...) but here's the Bro in full flight with the reptiles' favourite defence. And doesn't it work a treat. Except that the Bro went on to assert that: "This Afghanistan adventure was, strategically, a complete and absolute disaster." Except that it wasn't until Biden-his-time decided, without any consultation with allies or with the Afghan 'government' and without any serious assessment or planning or resourcing of the "withdrawal" (or headlong surrender and retreat as most of us call it) to unilaterally go home.

    Just like America finally did in Vietnam. Is this all somehow just a long delayed consciousness raising after Korea ?

    For all those who, like me, can't remember or who are to young to have known:
    "Korea was a place that few Australians knew much about, until 1950. From 1950-53, 17,000 Australians in the Army, Navy and Air Force fought as part of the United Nations (UN) multinational force, defending South Korea from the Communist force of North Korea."

    So, 17,000 Aussies way back then. Why that's just Kid Stakes, isn't it, compared with the 26,000 who served in various roles in Afghanistan. But then, Korea only ran for 3 years with just 339 dead and 1200 wounded. Picayune. Barely worth weaponing up for.

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  4. The Korean war casualties were more 339 as there were people who were damaged as a result of serving in the army they were left damaged psychologically and there was no recognition by the government that these poor soldiers needed help to cope with the neurosis they were left with.

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  5. Hi Dorothy,

    It’s interesting that Greg uses ‘We’ rather a lot in his sudden discovery that Afghanistan has been a total shit show.

    Nowhere does he say ‘I have fucked up’ or ‘I used my bully pulpit at The Australian to promote this invasion’ or ‘I continually gave up beat reports on conditions in Afghanistan and suggested sending even more troops into the quagmire’.

    Indeed Greg once again has a had a complete memory loss as to his own culpability in bringing about this shit show.

    Normally people who fuck up this badly would resign, or in earlier times simply step into the study and put a bullet into the noggin (though there is a possible chance Sheridan would miss anything vital) but at The Oz being completely wrong about virtually every major foreign event in the last twenty years is considered great journalism.

    However Sheridan does cover his tracks.

    I have looked in vain for any sign of a piece he wrote many years ago in the wake of yet another shit show in Iraq, where he proudly declared himself a Neo-Conservative and was unabashed about using force to bring about happy outcomes.

    His proud declaration is no where to be seen anymore.

    It’s pointless suggesting he resign. Why would he? He gets paid for writing right wing fantasy bullshit and his employers are happy with that.

    Still we have his Vodcast;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7wwiyFlVrU

    DiddyWrote

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    Replies
    1. So, a group of people, taking a name which, several sources assure me, means ‘teachers’, decide that they know what it best for a country that, in their opinion, needs to have its culture reset to the teachings of their Prophet, who was active in the desert lands, about two millennia back.

      These teachers, staunch in their belief of what their Prophet requires of them, move into that country. Some of its extant local leaders (established on dubious authority) do not accept the teaching of the teachers. Unfortunately, that means they will have to be sidelined, or usurped, or, if they cannot see the right way, well - killed. The supreme god allows that.

      The teachers are particularly keen to take issue with what they see as ‘immorality’. Women are required to be modest in all things, to become part of a single family as wife of a husband of proven commitment to the scriptures. So they lay down standards for dress, and behaviour in public, for women from the age at which they might be tempted into dalliance with males who do not have the deepest reverence for the tenets of the religion.

      It is almost as if the teachings draw on an image of a perfect mother, one invariably portrayed as robed and veiled so that no criticism might be made of her appearance, or of any facet of her life.

      And this differs from the waves of colonialism of the 18-19th centuries, justified in the name of the Prophet Jesus Christ, and involving teachers in the disruption and reconstruction of communities, all the way up to kingdoms that had otherwise survived for generations - this differs from that history in what significant way?

      Perhaps the Bromancer, in his current spirit of revisionism, might bring out another book, to explain the differences.

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    2. What were your source(s) for the meaning of 'taliban' as teachers, Chad ? The sources I find say it means 'students' (as the Pashto plural of 'talib').
      https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Taliban

      Reckon you don't have to wait until the 18-19th centuries, the Spaniards and Portuguese colonised south America and Mexico starting early in the 1500s (they did provide the American "Indians" with their very first horses, though) and the English puritans started colonising northern America from the early 1600s with the Dutch in Indonesia also from the early 1600s.

      The British in India (more an imperialist conquest than a colonisation) started in the late 1700s/early 1800s though, so that fits I guess, though religion was never really a part of it, just good old-fashioned economic exploitation I think.

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    3. The pond would have preferred it if the bromancer had hied himself to a nunnery, DW, even if it meant risking the odd TG joke ...

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    4. GB - my understanding was that, in groups whose entire path to knowledge involves committing the claimed words of the prophet to memory (and, perhaps, once that has been accomplished, to move to the Hadith), there was not the distinction between teacher and student that we have in 'the West'. I accept that the concept of 'teacher' is quite limited - the words are before you, get them into your memory banks. Some accounts of the Taliban now suggest that they choose to call themselves as more like 'teachers' when they give interviews to English-speaking reporters.

      I had not consulted Merriam-Webster, although I have high regard for my bulky, print edition of Webster (which does not have anything on 'talib'). In keeping with that, will happily try to identify them as 'students' - as we all should be in this life.

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    5. Well I don't know about 'student-teachers', Chad, but 'teacher-students' would work. After all, we are all that all of our lives, aren't we.

      Delete

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