In which the windy bromancer joins the other reptiles in a bout of crusading windiness ...

(Above: and more extremely exciting Rowe bringing the world the good news here).

This morning the pond didn't know which way to turn, such was the excitement in the land ... with the news of the potential return of the saviour leading the way yet again ...will he return to the promised land bringing great joy and exultation?

Or will the Brits go Malaysian at the sight of a man in bright red budgie smugglers atop a double decker? (Well at least that means a billion in the pond's private bank account, and where's the harm in that?)

In other news, gorgeous George was revealed to be an aggrandising, centralising, lying rodent ... a revelation so old hat, the reptiles greeted it with ... the sounds of crickets.

The reptiles of Oz in their digital front page this day mentioned George exactly, precisely ... 0 times ... which roughly translates to nada, nil, nihil, zilch, zero ...

You'll have to head off to Fairfax and a forced video here to hear about the bookcase man's latest adventure ... a skirmish before tomorrow he bravely saves the plebiscite ...

And then the pond was drawn a yarn in the Graudian, The unravelling NBN: how Turnbull failed to download the nation's network solution, which concluded - spoiler alert - ...most fundamentally, as these figures show, he (St Malware of the copper and the useless HFC) was telling the Australian public to jump on a thoroughbred when all they see is a donkey. 

But speaking of braying donkeys, it's the pond's duty to report on the reptiles, and - deep sigh needed - they're on another crusade ...

Now the way a reptile crusade works is that everyone and everything, even the kitchen sink, must be hurled into the fray.

As always, there are alternative sources and actual information ...

Yes, if you head off here, policy wonks, you can find the actual preliminary report, and decide for yourselves ...

But that's the last nod to reality the pond will make as we head off on the crusade with the crusaders...

There's the front page ...

There are the stories and opinions at the top of the digital page ...

Every section must make mention of the obsession, while smiting and smoting the Fairfaxian enemy ...

Naturally there's an editorial too ...

In in kissing cousin Terror and HUN, suddenly the Bolter, who purports to loathe Malware every day of the week, discovers a deep, undying affection for the lovelorn creature ...

When the Bolter celebrates Malware and berates his critics as hypocrites, it's serious ... a crusade suffused with a deep, rich, giving love ...

Now the pond is well over windy matters and the windy reptiles of the crusading kind, but in seeking some solace, some comfort from the storm, it was reminded just how the kool aid in the water cooler works each morning in the reptile bunker.

A stray innocent soul might turn for relief to the bromancer ...

Yes, that sounds like an ideal reflection. 

After all, the reptiles are generally obsessive, barking mad crusaders, and a reflexive brooding on the collective madness in the bunker might offer some solace and comfort. 

So the pond plunged in with a cry of fie and a fiddledeedee...

Now it's rare that the pond is moved to quote Denis Dragovic, but there it all is, in Wyatt Roy's trip to Iraq was nothing short of irresponsible ...

Strangely Dragovic couldn't see that a trip to a war zone with actual shooting going on was just the same as a defiant holiday romp in Bali, or a downing of the daks at a grand prix ...

But the bromancer was intoxicated by the bravery of it all ...

Indeed, indeed, and speaking of whom we might nominate for what, let us not forget who is lurking in the wings with a solution for everything ...

Okay, okay, the pond can sense a little frustration creeping in, a sense that the pond has delivered a shaggy dog story with no punch line.

Sure, it's great that the bromancer wants politicians and former politicians and anyone who thinks they're on an equal footing with these birds to wander off to active war zones so they might be fully informed and meet a few mates - it's a great example for everyone joining in and making life easy for the government - and get involved in a shoot-up, because hey, that's what cobbers do ...

Sure it's great to celebrate the way former Chairman Rudd might have ruled the world, because that's just what the world needed, a bromancer approved candidate, and never mind that it's already been sorted here ... damn you, Portuguese trouble maker for ruining the dream ...

Yes, yes, a stray reader might say, but what about the wind energy?

The pond promised a mention of windiness from the bromancer and where is it? 

After wading through the requisite sludge and madness, oh ye of little faith, did you doubt the pond, or the nature of the kool aid reptiles when banded together on a crusade?

Buckle up, there's some stomach-turning worship of the war criminal Howard to sail through, but then it's clear and sunny waters, with the wind running north by north west ...

Climate science?

Oh forget it, that's off with the copper piping and all the other Malware nonsense.

What this nation needs is a redeemer, and you can luckily find the uncut First Dog cartoon hailing the return of the saviour in his full glory here ... and oh bliss, oh poop, he too mentions wind energy ...