The pond was charmed to receive this letter - could there be a chance of a day job working on improving spam grammar? - though somehow the legalese at the bottom ineluctably reminded the pond of George "the book case man" Brandis's manner of speaking ...
Fortunately the reptiles were on hand to help out gorgeous George and presumably delayed running the story until they could print a denial and a confected commentary:
Ah, the meritorious, ever seeking to be meretricious Merritt, doing a sterling job ... but happily anyone wanting to read the actual document in question might head off to the ABC here.
Sadly, the pond isn't that interested in the confected Merritt and his lapdog confectionary, and besides, the reptiles have today scored another yellow card involving the Trumpster ...
Now the pond is getting angry, as mad as hell, and it isn't going to stand it any more ... it's way past time for a red card.
The pond has already lectured the reptiles about internal borrowing, bludging and recycling - oh you lazy, lazy tree-killing reptiles, but this example takes the cake ...
Now you might wonder and marvel at a journalist - even one as routinely and reliably dumb as Bret Stephens - starting off a column with a joke about a speech being delivered Tuesday, October 4, when the publication date in the reptile Oz is listed as October 5, 2016 ...
Back to the future?
Back to the future?
It makes a nonsense of the futurist element about the Donald being scheduled to deliver the speech ...
But it made perfect sense - in the abject nonsensical way that Bret Stephens routinely and reliably makes sense - when it was originally published ...
Yes, there it is, an October 3rd date, which makes the October 4th punchline work.
Of course the rest is just the usual fatuous Bret Stephens nonsense designed to suggest some good reasons to vote for teh Donald ...
But the pond feels the need to play fair and recycle the rest of it, all because the wretched reptiles refuse to acknowledge the global village and the notion that a couple of days late is way, way too late ...
In the news two days ago!
And so perforce, once more the pond must be three days late, as late as the reptiles covering a fire or a funeral, and arriving in belated time to check out the warmth of the ashes ... which it turns out, have as much heat as Bret Stephens' notion of funny ...
And so perforce, once more the pond must be three days late, as late as the reptiles covering a fire or a funeral, and arriving in belated time to check out the warmth of the ashes ... which it turns out, have as much heat as Bret Stephens' notion of funny ...
Well, the pond's duty is done.
There might be a giant wave coming, it might be a veritable tsunami. It'll certainly wipe out a shitload of the United States ...
There might be a giant wave coming, it might be a veritable tsunami. It'll certainly wipe out a shitload of the United States ...
It might also take out some substantial parts of the rest of the world too.
And with a bit of luck it'll take out the complacent Bret Stephens and the lazy reptiles.
And with a bit of luck it'll take out the complacent Bret Stephens and the lazy reptiles.
But enough of Bret Stephens playing the scorpion and hitching a ride with the frog, because, in a frantic bid to induce a bit of actual humour and a sense of relevance and to wrap things up, the pond has to head off to the daily cartoon here, for a few jokes ...
Talking about meritorious, DP, it's obvious that because the packet wasn't delivered, ergo nobody must have been at home.
ReplyDeleteSounds like reptile logic to me.