In which the pond spends quality time with the reptiles propping up the bookcase man ...

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dearie me, oh lordy lordy ...

Look at those ratings.

And this was despite Malware announcing his firm intention to become an onion muncher deluxe (or a poule deluxe if you will) and please the reptiles so ... after the dear things had run a worried story about coal activists and deplored any attempt to hinder dinkum coal, coal, coal for the woorrrrld...

Sure, the bleeding hearts and the hand wringers might note 'New era of climate change reality' as emissions hit symbolic threshold, but what's reality got to do with it? 

Haven't they listened to the parrot, one of the world's great climate scientists, blather on about the global warming hoax?

But as we're speaking of the law, the pond must perforce look at recent legal events, and the way the reptiles always heroically leap to the pump when gorgeous George Brandis springs another leak ...

Yes it's the finest of the fine, the bravest of the brave, but what's remarkable is the shortness, the brevity of the case for the defence ...

Actually, the pond hears from Canberra insiders that the department is very much over gorgeous George, who has fucked up his ministry even more than he fucked over arts funding, and the sooner he's shipped off to London for some plum job confected to give him a graceful exit, the sooner the better for all concerned ... apparently, there's only so much over-bearing pomposity and arrogance anyone can stand ...

The notion that it's all the fault of Labor and Gleeson will be a touch hard to sell to those who've tracked the chaos within the AG and SG departments ... but if anyone can do it, the dog botherer can ...

The pond has to hand it to the dog botherer.  It's short and sweet and leaves much unsaid, but to turn this into a matter of democratic accountability, and to hold up gorgeous George as the token of democratic accountability, represents an astonishing feat of the imagination ...

But again the shortness of the defence left the pond wanting more. While others might turn elsewhere to check out the divorce proceedings...

... the pond stayed loyal to the reptiles. 

After all, when the story broke, the reptiles danced with pleasure at the fury it caused Labor ...

And then came the marvellous Merritt and the bouffant one, working in tandem ...

Indeed, indeed, most insightful coverage. The pond was reminded of previous marvellous Merritt headlines while covering the unseemly brawl ...

Yes, there's nothing like a meretricious Merritt story, and refreshed, the pond carried on ...

Labor's campaign to force Brandis to resign? 

The way the pond hears it, the cardigan wearers can't wait for someone to find the bookcase man a job as Ambassador to the Andes where he might prove useful in the quest to find square eggs ...

As usual, the pond turns to the infallible Pope for moral guidance, and more Pope here ...

Well there's just a little more to go with marvellous Merritt, the bouffant one, and the collar and leash man ...

Well might god save the solicitor-general, because at some time in the future, it's likely nothing will save the current attorney-general being shipped abroad to berate the natives of another country in the name of Australia ...

After all, such an experienced and skilled and diplomatic and personal skills aware book case will always come in handy ...

Meanwhile, the pond has largely avoided the avocado controversy. 

But really, the pond should congratulate the reptiles for their achievement and contribution to cartooning - the pond likes its avocados with black pepper, lime, garlic, tomato, and red onion but absolutely no Salt - and even today, Rowe manages to ring another round out of the humble berry fruit (and more Rowe whipping up a guacamole storm here)...

But the fatuities of ScoMo have yet to bring reptile crusaders seeking to make some sense of his epic nonsense ...