In which Moorice may be the best bet ...

Some Fridays the pond is blessed.

A monumental world leader, a sage, and incidentally and humbly, one of the world's leading climate scientists, steps down from his pedestal, walks amongst ordinary mortals and pronounces ... and the world stops to listen.

Surely there can be no doubt now that the Donald's election as the next President of the United States is secure, as millions of Americans pay heed to the words of Moorice ...

Others in search of a Friday fix might turn to Simon Benson, appealing to the base Terror readership by pronouncing Shakespeare incomprehensible ...

Indeed, indeed. And yet still in school they torture students with incomprehensible gibberish when the students might thrive, grow, flourish by studying the collected scribblings and deep thoughts of Moorice ...

Other perverted wretches might turn to the mighty Merritt who not so long ago boldly made this wondrous observation ...

And then this day provided his own fascinating answer many days later ...

Some might wonder why Merritt bothers to get out of bed to scribble his meretricious nonsense, but the same can't be said for the majestic, nay Olympian, Moorice ...

Why as Antony himself said - any stray readers from the Daily Terror, please be advised that this will be incomprehensible ...

This was the noblest Reptile of them all: 
All the conspirators save only he,
Did that they did in envy of great Donald;
He only, in a general honest thought
And common good to all, made one of them.
His life was gentle, and the elements of climate science
So mix'd in him that Nature might stand up
And say to all the world 'This was a reptile nonpareil!'

And so the pond invites the congregation to kneel and indulge in the reading of the day, thanks be unto the reptiles of Oz ...

Oh infinitely wise oracle of insights, as Americans are forced to eat rats rather than products loaded with high fructose corn syrup ...

Well not all of them. Some are essential eating for the sensitive modern American male wishing to impress and woo a woman ...

Well those other anticipatory prewritten statements are at the New Yorker here, but what's this?

A disturbance in the back pew?

Someone, a treasonous traitor, is daring to suggest there's actually no evidence that Einstein observed what Moorice asserts he observed?

How dare you say it's just another example of Moorice's splendidly loose way with facts, figures, attributions and clichés ...

This quotation has been attributed to Albert Einstein (1879-1955), but there is no evidence that he ever used it. The quotation is widely used in recovery programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous. Eventually, the saying gravitated into an investment proverb. A similar saying also popular since the 1980s is “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got” / “If all you ever do is all you’ve ever done, then all you’ll ever get is all you’ve ever got.” (here, and here for a journalist who experienced buyer's remorse with the saying and here's a psych version).

Please, someone evict that bum from the back pew - use whatever force you like, throw the bitch in jail - and make sure she doesn't get to touch the holy water on her way out.

We must complete the reading, and without benefit of interruptions by pedants and wild-eyed loons quoting Shakespeare and confusing Terrorist readers with the incomprehensible, when instead they might be dazzled by the clarity of Moorice ...

Of course, if Americans eat rats, why shouldn't they be fed a healthy, sustaining dog's breakfast and really bad math, because after all, math is as incomprehensible as Shakespeare ...

But wait, at the last moment in that very last par, the pond experienced a minor tremor, a little hesitation, a little saucy doubt and fear ...

Trump may?

There's a world of evasiveness in "may" ... with your average dictionary noting that it is used to express possibility (it may rain, or then again it may not, Trump may, but then again he might not) or to express contingency (I, Moorice the immaculate and the infallible, may be wrong, but I might be right, why not have an each way bet on the quadrella, even if that sounds like an incomprehensibly Shakespearian thing to do) ...

Never mind, the pond was enormously pleased to experience the visitation and the reading, and it can now sit back and expect at least a huuge quadrupling of hits ..

Such enlightenment is rare these days, such blessings must be treasured ... and the pond now anxiously waits for the bump, the surge, in the Donald's poll numbers which may occur - or may not - as a result of Moorice's strategic intervention, which does for US politics what he famously does all the time for climate science ...thanks be unto the reptiles of Oz, and here the lesson ends ...

Meanwhile, Rowe seems to have discovered a plague of clowns, and more clowning by Rowe here ...

And on the principle that great cartoonists like to clown together, Pope has found another gang of clowns, and more papal clowning here ...